So I know this is a fantasy FOOTBALL blog but fuck me if I’m not going to again mention my, and your, 2018 World Series Champion Boston Red Sox. Champagne for everyone. (No, I’m not adding that stupid fucking hashtag because I’m not 12. Carry on.)
Lots going on this week in the NFL. Trade deadline is set for 4:00pm EST today and there are a ton of names that could move, both stemming from general disgruntlement (actually is a word) and teams in complete disarray that might as well have a yard sale to get ready for the future.
Speaking of disarray, let’s see how we all did this week.
Joey B (Completely Incompetent)
I got paved again which was not fun. This was highlighted by C.J Uzomah dropping a goose egg and Sammy Watkins lit it up on my bench while watching his counterpart, Devin Funchess, do dick on the field. I still managed about 110 pts though, which isn’t awful for a loss. We’re trending.
Papa G (Bill and Mets fan)
Got absolutely thrashed this week. 0-3 across all my leagues. That bum RB on New England did nothing for me and I’m still down 3 or 4 starters. Dalvin Cook and Leonard Fournette better come back soon or this is going to go off the rails quickly. I’m a fringe playoff team in all my leagues and I need someone to step up to the plate quickly. Thank god for James Conner, that’s really all I have to say.
Red (Drives to New Hampshire for wine)
I don’t often make good decisions in fantasy football, but when I do I like to peacock. Chris Carson has been riding my bench all year, but I threw him in my lineup and he rewarded me with 22 points in a week where I was without Ezekiel Elliott. Also shoutout to Mattes for giving me this opportunity. With a win against him this week, its kept me at .500 and while not clinically dead, my team is still on life support with an outside shot at the playoffs. Mattes has since changed his team name to BYE WEEK so I’m sure he was thrilled with his players’ effort.
Big Z (Don’t know much about the guy, may not exist)
No complaints from me. I rolled up a league-high 126 points this week. I guess I could have had a a few extra points had I played Christian McCaffrey instead of James White, or pretty much anyone instead of Devin Funchess, but that’s small potatoes. I’m now in second place in my league despite being 8th in total points. Must be my “defense.”
Things are definitely looking up for the Big Z Fantasy Empire
Mattes (Possible addition to chicken wings)
1-7…ONE AND FREAKIN’ SEVEN. I have NEVER suffered through such a miserable season, or even come close. The sad part is I thought I had a pretty good chance to win this week, but Red had Davante Adams and a resurgent Larry Fitz go H.A.M. for him on Sunday. Getting a goose egg from your tight end doesn’t help either. This just sucks.
Lost in my other league as well, falling to .500 on the year. DJ didn’t have the breakout game I was hoping for now that he has a competent offensive coordinator calling plays. I also had to stream C.J. Beathard this week with Rivers on a bye. (It’s a two-QB league; the only other option on the wire was Brock Osweiler, so don’t judge.) Also, O.J. Howard and Tarik Cohen, both of whom I somehow picked up just two weeks ago, continue be awesome. This team’s doing OK. At least I got something to still give a shit about.