Aaaand we’re back. Episode 008 of The 300s Podcast is hot off the presses and we’re diving into the Celtics offseason, grading Danny Ainge’s recent moves and the Paul George situation. We also debut The 300s Ballpark Reviews with the Miami Marlins, how Aaron Judge has put the fear of god into Red Sox fans, the dominance of Chris Sale and we ask what is wrong with David Price? LETS GET IT.
The 300s Reviews: Marlins Park
We’re excited to launch a new series at The 300s today – ballpark reviews. We haven’t been to all 30 parks yet, but we’re working on it. With the MLB All-Star Game taking place in Miami tonight, we’ll kick off this new series with the a review of Marlins Park, home of the Miami Marlins.
Walking up to Marlins Park, it’s clear that this place is not trying to be your classic ballpark. It’s not Fenway. It’s not Camden Yards. It’s not even Petco Park. It’s baseball’s first “modern” ballpark to open since the new Comiskey Park U.S. Cellular Field Guaranteed Rate Field opened on the South Side of Chicago in 1991 (as opposed to “retro modern” or “retro classic” ballparks). It’s worth noting, though, that Guaranteed Rate Field underwent extensive renovations last decade to be considered more “retro classic.”
Walking into Marlins Park felt like walking into the future. It was unlike any other baseball park I’ve ever been too. The concourse was brightly colored and well lit, with no bare concrete walls or floors like those seen at Fenway and even newer parks like Miller Park. Lots of contemporary artwork, too. Here’s the back of the home run structure in center field:
A very cool feature on the concourse was the Bobblehead Museum.
It featured players from every team, obviously too many to mention individually. But here’s old friend Mo Vaughn!
The concourse was also filled with really pushy promotions crews. “Listen dude, I’m just in Miami for the weekend. I’m not entering your contest to win a coupon to Publix.”
I forget how hot it was the day I went, but it isn’t really relevant. It was Miami in August so the roof was closed. It wasn’t like I was at a hockey game, but the temperature with the roof closed and the AC on was pleasant. Felt a bit like a dome without a breeze, though.
The atmosphere definitely left a lot to be desired. It was a mid-week interleague game, but the low-capacity ballpark was still barely half full. The upper deck in the infield was actually literally closed that night. That can’t be a good long-term business move.
Being in Little Havana, Marlins Park featured many Cuban food options. I went with the pork nachos which were good, but nothing earth shattering. I didn’t take a photo of them, so that might say something too.
I’ve been to eleven ballparks, eight of which are still in use. Of those eight, I’d rank Marlins Park ahead of only Tropicana Field. I wouldn’t say it should be ranked 29th out of 30, I just haven’t been to places like Toronto or Oakland. Yet. Still, these modern ballparks seem to miss the mark.
The last “modern” ballpark to open before Marlins Park was the White Sox’ Guaranteed Rate Field. That ballpark is barely 25 years old and as I mentioned earlier, underwent massive renovations fairly early in its life to stay relevant. We’ll see what happens to Marlins Park going forward.
I didn’t expect Wrigley Field in South Florida, but this stadium felt like something Marty McFly would’ve walked into in Back to the Future Part II.
Big Z Ballpark Rating – 5.5
The 300s Reviews: Starbucks Midnight Mint Mocha Frappuccino
I went into Starbucks wanting to hate the Midnight Mint Mocha Frappuccino. Coffee shops are for adults, not for children. I don’t have time to wait in line behind middle schoolers ordering $6 chocolate milks when I’m on my way to the office. I catch grief from coworkers making coffee runs when I ask for flavored iced coffee. I can’t support this kind of nonsense.
But my god this drink was delicious.
Allegedly there is coffee is in thing, but I didn’t taste any. It tasted like a dark chocolate milkshake with mint. It had whipped cream in the middle and on top. It was better than any milkshake I’ve ever had at McDonald’s, and Starbucks will never be able to tell you “the machine isn’t working” when you order the Midnight Mint Mocha Frappuccino.
I’d say the price of this is drink is one if its few downsides, but I’m a grown ass man. If I want a dark chocolate mint milkshake, I can afford $5.45, plus tax. The real downside of this drink to a grown ass man is its nutrition facts. The Midnight Mint Mocha Frappuccino packs 570 calories into a venti, along with 64 grams of sugar (8 grams of protein, though!). Long gone are the days where I could throwback whatever I wanted without looking at the nutrition facts. I’m not 27 any more.
The Midnight Mint Mocha Frappuccino is not something I would recommend drinking more than a few times this summer, but I definitely recommend trying it at least once. Just make sure your in the mood for ice cream and not coffee.
The 300s Reviews: Dunkin Donuts Energy Punch Powered by Monster
First off, before we get into this review, props to Dunkies for actually trying something new for a change. I don’t know how many more shitty breakfast sandwich variations I can take on different types of old bread. But, back to the Monster Energy Punch. It would seem Dunkies is looking to crack into the market of under 30 that may prefer Red Bulls to black coffees. Or the Friday night Allston pre-game crowd. Same thing, I guess.
10 second review of the new @DunkinDonuts @MonsterEnergy punch. I love Dunkin, guy. pic.twitter.com/64VZr071sY
— The 300s (@The300sBoston) April 12, 2017
I think the best way to describe this is probably…….pure poison. I am not a health nut by any means, when I’m at the dentist getting my 8th cavity filled I know why and I have no regrets. But, when I first ordered the thing I was a little unsettled when they slapped a Double Gulp down on the table. No sizes to choose from; this is the one you get. This is 64 ounces of pure sugar so theres no dipping your toes in the water here. Hold you nose and dive in.
Lets go through a timeline of events just to give a little perspective.
8:15 am: Went with the Blue Raspberry. First sip? Actually not terrible. Its pretty sweet, but I mean thats to be expected when you mix a can of Monster (using the green flavor over the sugar free blue can is where this starts to go wrong) with a goddamn fruit Coolatta.
Theres probably some chemical warfare going on in my liver right now, but I am pretty jacked up from the Dunkin Monster Energy punch at 8 am
— The 300s (@The300sBoston) April 12, 2017
8:30 am: Took a few sips of this behemoth on my drive to work, but immediately its apparent that this is not a drink you’re going to chug, no matter how badly you need a caffeine fix.
8:50 am: I am feeling the buzz. I highly doubt its the caffeine. As a habitual abuser of energy drinks, I know this shit is not energy. This is a sugar high felt only by the likes of a toddler on Halloween. Alright, lets ride this out.
Update on the @DunkinDonuts @MonsterEnergy concoction. We are losing steam. pic.twitter.com/pC7JWom95g
— The 300s (@The300sBoston) April 12, 2017
9:10 am: I am starting to question my life choices. I’ve drank maybe 10% of the Monster Energy Punch and the buzz is already starting to fade.
9:20 am: I am full on hungover from sugar and hesitant to put any more of this concoction in my body.
Update: Your @DunkinDonuts scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should. pic.twitter.com/sXwqtNOB1w
— The 300s (@The300sBoston) April 12, 2017
9:45 am: We have thrown in the white flag. Do not want. Get this shit out of my face as fast as possible.
While I tip my hat to Dunkies for jumping into something new with both feet, holy hell how did this make it past the fucking test kitchen?
This is unsurprisingly a diabetes BOMB and you would have to be a degenerate to put down the entire Gatorade cooler worth of punch they give you. Can’t recommend it, but if you choose to tackle this drink you do so at your own risk. I still love Dunkin, guy.
The 300s 