Woman Gets a Year in Jail for Lying on Her Resume to Land $185,000 Job

CNN – A woman who lied on her resume and faked “glowing” references to land a high-paying job with an Australian regional government has been sentenced to at least a year in prison.

Veronica Hilda Theriault, 46, was convicted Tuesday of deception, dishonesty, and abuse of public office, relating to her 2017 application for the chief information officer role, which came with an annual salary of 270,000 Australian dollars (US$185,000).

Theriault worked in the position with South Australia’s Department of the Premier and Cabinet for over a month and earned about 33,000 Australian dollars ($22,500) before being fired. She pleaded guilty to all charges and received a 25-month sentence with a non-parole period of a year.

The court heard that she submitted a fraudulent resume to the department with false information relating to her education and prior employment. After she was granted an interview, she also posed as a previous employer during a reference check, in which she “gave glowing feedback” about her own performance.

This is BULLSHIT. As someone who somehow stumbled into the position of hiring and firing actual adults, even I have to admit this is 100% on the company, not the woman. I don’t care if it was for a role as the Chief of Medicine at a hospital; it’s quite literally the company’s job to vett the candidate’s experience. If they sneak one past you to land a cushy six figure job, thats on you. Did they even bother sitting down with this woman to ya know, maybe ask her a few questions about the role?

I imagine her interview went something along the lines of Chuckie sitting in for Will Hunting.

RETAINERRRR

You wanna know why this is bullshit though? Because of things like this:

But the lies didn’t end there. In earlier submissions, the court heard that Theriault used a photo of supermodel Kate Upton as her LinkedIn profile photo, according to CNN affiliate 7 News.

And after starting the position in August, she was found to have hired her brother, despite him lacking the qualifications to perform the role.

So the hiring manager didn’t even bother to look at the LinkedIn profile of someone he was hiring? Well thats a bright, glowing, red flag right there. And then after hiring the woman they let her then hire her BROTHER without any qualifications?

If you think a little jail time is gonna scare some hustlers out of trying this again, you better think again. Pocketing $22k in a month like this woman did is more than worth the risk of going to the pokey for a lot of people.

Nice work, Australia.

 

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We Need To Talk

YahooKate Beckinsale is not having it. The actress shut down critics of the fun snapshots she’s shared on Instagram over the last few days from a beach trip to Mexico. They show the 46-year-old Underworld actress in a couple of different swimsuits, prompting most people to shower her with compliments. However, a few commenters took issue with Beckinsale’s age.

Here’s the thing. We as a society have a very specific, subconscious place in our hearts. And to an extent our nether regions. I’d say 99% of people have it. And in this place we hold very dearly a very specific subsection of the human race. That populace would be the miracles that are the men and women of the world that simply don’t age. Or at least not when they’re supposed to. And to be quite clear there are more women on this list than men, which is pretty impressive considering the upkeep it takes to adhere to society’s standards. Given that women seem to be doing better in this little game, it’s no surprise that someone like Jennifer Lopez seems to hold the thrones currently – and despite the fact that my sources tell me she’s involved with one of the biggest frauds and douchebags of all time, I won’t argue with it. Men are a little different because there’s no way around the aging piece. But in terms of holding up looks I guess I’d go with Clooney? People still like Clooney right? Whatever.

A very notable member of this exclusive club, and my personal #1, is someone we will from heretofore refer to as Kate Fucking Beckinsale. She was in “Underworld” and before that “Pearl Harbor” and always had that “pretty, but actually really sexy and possibly a wild animal in the sack” thing going for her. She is honest to God fucking perfect.

And at 46, Kate Fucking Beckinsale is still an absolute fucking rocket. She is still throwing 104 on the black. She is welcoming younger, hungrier challengers in the ring and knocking them out in seconds. Come one, come all.

I could drop a “this is why the internet sucks” here but that’d be a little inaccurate. People having a forum for hating on Kate Beckinsale for throwing up pics their thirteen year old son suffered upper body blood loss to is not the problem. No, the problem is that they can disguise their motives. That’s what sucks. Former MMA fighter turned analyst/podcaster Chael Sonnen said something the other day I found interesting. He said there was an unacknowledged and misunderstood different between jealousy and envy. I don’t remember the exact definitions but basically jealous is a corrupt need to protect something you have while envy is the corrupt desire to have something someone else has. These haters of Kate Fucking Beckinsale are envious. Enviiiiiiiooooouuussss. EeNnVvIiOoUuSs. They log onto Tim Berners-Lee’s world wide web from the house they share with a dolt of a husband and 3 screaming kids and see Kate Beckinsale looking like a snack, the entree, and dessert all rolled into one and suddenly HATE that their bodies look like a fucking water balloon that is being squeezed by 4 different people at once. They HATE her for it. 46 years old. 46 and still looking better than some of these 46 year old haters’ daughters and possibly, in the south, granddaughters.

Don’t be them. Don’t be that envious. There aren’t many Kate Fucking Beckinsale’s out there.We can’t help. We aren’t going to look like that at 46. We probably don’t look like that now and never did. And that’s ok. That doesn’t mean mean we tear her down for firing off ‘kini shots at this stage in the game. That’d be like getting mad at Tom Brady for winning this stage in his. Smile, embrace it, and if you have a negative thought, well, shut the fuck up. That’s Kate Fucking Beckinsale you’re talking about.

 

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Pawtucket Red Sox Officially Renamed…the Worcester Red Sox!

98.5 – It’s official: call them the “WooSox.” The Triple-A affiliate of the Boston Red Sox will keep the Red Sox nickname as they move from Pawtucket to Worcester in 2021. The team made the announcement Monday night and will brand themselves as the WooSox for short.

A bit anticlimactic, no?

After all the buzz and hundreds of suggestions from fans they ended up teasing this whole big announcement…only to keep the same exact name. Okay.

It was never a realistic option for the team to go away from the iconic brand that is the Red Sox. Would something cheeky like the Hartford Yard Goats or the Binghamton Rumble Ponies been cool? Yes, but this is a minor league franchise betting $100 Million on the fact that people will come to their games in Worcester. So sticking with the clear association to the Red Sox is no surprise.

What is surprising though is that odd smiley face logo wearing actual Red Sox.

Apparently Worcester invented the smiley face?

I didn’t realize one person could take credit for something so omnipresent in American culture. Its like Mugatu taking credit for inventing the piano key neck tie.

Ya learn something new every day on this blog. Not sure if I’m dying to buy a smiley face Sox hat (I probably will), but I am psyched to see this new ballpark. As we’ve detailed here in the past, Larry Lucchino is building his magnum opus in this Triple-A ballpark in Worcester. This place is going to be sick.

Just a damn shame that friend of the blog Rusney Castillo, probably the most infamous PawSox player of all time, won’t be around to bear the fruit of his labor since his contract ends in 2020.

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Celebrity Jeopardy Was Inexplicably Missing on Saturday Night

Image result for snl trebek

Welp, there was no Celebrity Jeopardy on SNL this weekend. Judging by Twitter reactions, I wasn’t the only one who was disappointed.

And this guy gets it exactly right.

At least we’ll see one of the greatest sketches of all time on the Thanksgiving special Wednesday night…

 

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Celebrity Jeopardy Is a Must Play on SNL This Week

I could be totally wrong, but it feel’s like tomorrow night’s episode of Saturday Night Live will be something special. It’s the Thanksgiving show, Will Ferrell will be back, and he’ll be joining the Five-Timers Club. That being said, they have to do Celebrity Jeopardy. Celebrity Jeopardy not appearing on SNL tomorrow night would be an act of comedic malpractice.

If you’re in your thirties Will Ferrell is the best SNL cast member from your prime SNL viewing days and Celebrity Jeopardy was your favorite sketch. I watched every week in high school rooting for Celebrity Jeopardy to make an appearance and it never disappointed.

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In addition to Ferrell being back in Studio 8H, Jeopardy is having a moment right now. As Alex Trebek bravely wages his battle against Pancreatic Cancer, Jeopardy James Holzhauer is doing his part to keep Jeopardy front-page news. Next month’s GOAT tournament will be the most anticipated game show event since Who Wants to Be a Millionaire made its first return in November of 1999. With Darrell Hammond in the house handling announcing duties, and Sean Connery pushing 90, why not trot out Trebek , Connery and the rest for (maybe, hopefully not) one last rodeo.

Come on, Lorne, America needs this.

Image result for lorne michaels snl

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Tesla’s New Truck Reveal Went About as Well as Homer Simpson’s Car Design

TechCrunch – In what was one of the more surreal product launches I’ve seen, Tesla debuted its $39,900 Cybertruck pickup tonight. After running through some specs and hitting the truck’s door with a sledge hammer, Elon asked an on-stage companion (Tesla’s lead designer, Franz von Holzhausen) to demonstrate the strength of the Tesla “Armor Glass” by throwing a solid metal, baseball-sized ball at the driver side window…So they tried it again on the rear passenger window… and it cracked too. “Room for improvement,” Musk says with a shrug….”We’ll fix it in post,” he followed up with a laugh then moved on to talking about the car’s suspension. The video went private on Tesla’s YouTube channel about 30 seconds after the live stream was over.

“Oh my fucking god.” – Elon Musk

I literally laughed out loud at my desk watching this GIF. Sure this “truck” might be indestructible, it might have windows made of adamantium, but why even take that chance when you’re up on stage and streaming live to millions? The first version of everything is usually garbage. My first iPhone was an iPhone 4. I’m on the 6s now and the thing still got smashed.

Musk might be spending too much time with Joe Rogan if he thought his spaceship car could take a paper weight off the driver’s window.

The only time a new car presentation has gone worse was when Homer Simpson designed the piece of shit that put his brother out of business.

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Um, I Feel Like Eminem Does NOT Get Credit for Literally Creating the Term “Stan”

Ummmm am I the only one who did NOT know this? I can’t be. I just can’t believe I’m that out of touch and in the dark.

Assuming I’m not, it’s sort of unforgivable in and of itself that we all sort of just went with the flow and started using “stan” as a common noun and as a verb. We all started saying things like “I stan (ATHLETE OR MUSICIAN X) hard” and “I’m sick of (ATHLETE OR MUSICIAN Y) stans they’re so annoying.” We did this without ANY KNOWLEDGE of where it was coming from and we did it in a day and age where that is capital “D” Dangerrrrrrous. We could of been #MeToo”d or #Cancelled or #ImWithHer’d or something along those lines without ever being any the wiser to what we said wrong. It was a new term that was easy enough to use so hey, fuck it. Let’s give it a whirl.

Come to find out, some fairly savvy individual took it directly from Eminem’s 2000 depiction of the eponymous obsessed, unwavering, and very much unstable fan. A song made famous not only by how very good, albeit dark, it was, but by an all-time VMA performance featuring perceived homophobe Marshall Mathers and Elton John. This is both sort of wild to realize but also a little unnerving to learn, no? I’ve called people “stans” with very little concern probably hundreds of times. Never was I trying to imply they were “a fan of to the point of a graphic murder-suicide”. Kind of overkill (no pun intended) if you ask me. But hey, that’s showbiz, I suppose.

Look, I know people don’t come to this blog to learn. They’re not seeking any kind of knowledge unless knowing where the line in the sand is drawn in terms of the etiquette of serving faux-Mexican fast food counts. However plain and simple I think this is a true blue #themoreyouknow situation where people should fuckin know this. Marshall Bruce Mathers III is a Lexicon King as well as a Rap God.

If you disagree? Well hit me back, just to chat.

-Joey B.

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