Farewell Eduardo Nunez. A Dirtdog On Your Best Day, Entertaining AF On Your Worst

Posted on July 16, 2019 by

ESPN – The Boston Red Sox have designated infielder Eduardo Nunez for assignment, likely ending his tenure with the team he helped win the World Series last year.

Nunez was batting .228 in 60 games with Boston this season, his third with the organization. Last year, he hit .265 with 10 homers in 127 games, and also hit a three-run pinch-homer to help the Red Sox win Game 1 of the World Series against the Los Angeles Dodgers.

After a pretty solid 2018 season, Red Sox utility man Eduardo Nunez was hitting just .228 in 60 games this year so it wasn’t necessarily a shock to see him go. That doesn’t change the fact that he was a key role player for a World Series winning team though and a pretty entertaining guy to watch.

Eduardo Nunez immediately after winning the title last year is one of my favorite GIFs of all time so for that he will always hold a special place in my heart.

His body probably still hasn’t recovered from last season and the World Series in particular, but Eduardo Nunez was a true dirtdog when he was playing well.

Nunez definitely had injury troubles though as documented through my flurry of half in the bag tweets while watching Sox games over the last two years.

Although that leg injury derailed the end of his 2017 season, Nunez did hit .321 in 38 games for the Sox that year. Between Boston and San Francisco he hit .313 in 2017, which was his best season ever. While nobody expected Nunez to compete for a batting title in 2018, he was a very solid bench guy for Alex Cora. Culminating with his pinch hit home run to seal Game 1 of the World Series.

So while not many fans will shed a tear for the Sox cutting a guy hitting .228, lets not forget the good times, the huge smile on the diamond, and him batting .300 in the World Series. Oh and he also did all that after playing for the Yankees for four years so its even sweeter. Best of luck in your future endeavors, Eduardo.

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What’s Dom Drinking Now?

Posted on July 16, 2019 by

Another drink, please! Summer is in full swing, and so is my sunburnt beer belly. Not to worry though, I’ve still been finding plenty of alcohol to stimulate my tastebuds. In between rounds of 3 Stars beers and assorted local sours, I’ve been hooked on one particular drink lately:

Image result for blood orange daiquiri
Mine don’t really look like this…

BLOOD ORANGE DAIQUIRI

First things first. Hyper-masculinity says that real men shouldn’t drink daiquiris because they’re a “gay” drink or something. If you’ve read my blogs on liquor store etiquette, you know I don’t believe in stereotyping drinks. Men can drink fruity cocktails, women can drink whiskey neat, and there is no such thing as a “gay” drink. Daiquiris are delicious, and you’re a damn liar if you say otherwise.

That having been said, this is not what I’m talking about:

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Frozen strawberry daiquiris are not what I’m talking about here.

Let’s backtrack a bit. In order to balance a good cocktail, you need to understand flavors and how they interact with each other. You’re four main flavors in basic cocktail recipes are alcohol, sweet, bitter and sour. Of course there are others, but for the sake of simplicity we’ll stick with those for now. Some cocktails, like a Paper Plane, combine all four of these, while others, like a Manhattan, stick to just three (liquor, sweet, bitter). This balancing act is the key to mixology, not that I claim to be a master or anything.

A traditional daiquiri is a pretty basic drink for any bartender. Proportions are 3-2-1 white rum-lime juice-simple syrup. The idea is to combine rum with one sweet ingredient and one sour ingredient. These three easy ingredients get mixed together and poured over ice.

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Daiquiris!

THE RECIPE

Knowing what we know about the flavor components, we can now add and subtract ingredients to make a drink that really hits home. For me, that results in a blood orange daiquiri. I’ve been using Mad River First Run Rum, blood orange soda, unsweetened lime juice, and cinnamon. I skip the simple syrup because the soda has enough sugar for me, but I do use more soda in my recipe.

Combine 1 part rum, 1 part soda and 1/2 part lime juice in a shaker. Add two dashes of cinnamon. Shake. Serve over ice. Garnish with a blood orange wedge.

Image result for mad river first run rum
Mad River Distilling, out of Vermont, makes some really great stuff.

Typical daiquiris use white rum, but I’ve elected to use an aged rum for two reasons: one, I think the light vanilla and barrel flavors work well with blood orange, and two, I didn’t have any white rum. When it comes to choosing a rum for this drink, it’s important to remember ABBC, Anything But Bacardi and Captain. These products belong in the garbage. You are a classy, sophisticated drinker and deserve better. For inexpensive white rums from New England, I like examples from Short Path Distilling and Privateer. For aged versions, I like Mad River (clearly), Berkshire Mountain Distilling, or Plantation (not from NE, but cheap and delicious). The great thing about rum is great bottles rarely go above $50, and you can often find amazing values in the $25-$30 range.

Let’s see what you think! Enjoy!

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Dave Dombrowski Threw a Tantrum Because Nobody Likes His Bullpen “Additions”

Posted on July 15, 2019 by

So Dave Dombrowski threw a temper tantrum over the weekend because nobody lauded his ingenious “additions” to the bullpen. I mean, by all accounts, he’s not wrong. Nathan Eovaldi can be a very effective reliever when healthy. We saw him do just that in the playoffs last year so why aren’t people falling all over themselves to pat Dombrowski on the back?

Oh yea, thats right because this isn’t an addition you disingenuous dummy. This is a guy the Sox paid big bucks to anchor their rotation down who was IMMEDIATELY injured and has missed all but 4 games this season. So forgive me if I’m not super excited for an injured starter coming back being hailed as the savior of the bullpen.

For Dombrowski to get all pissy because “people seem to, not, like grasp” this is hilarious. This is exactly what I said would happen last year after the Sox won the World Series too. I know this will come off as peak whiny Boston fan, but that doesn’t mean its not true. Last year Dombrowksi punted on making real additions to the bullpen and pulled Nathan Eovaldi and Ryan Brasier out of his ass while David Price pitched out of the pen, and Joe Kelly went on an all-time postseason run.

All that did was embolden Dombrowski to again make no real additions to the bullpen, let Joe Kelly go to the Dodgers, AND let their closer walk all in one offseason. “Hey I did it last year, why can’t I patch this thing together on the fly again?” Because thats not how baseball usually works. Thats why they call it lightning in a bottle.

If Nathan Eovaldi goes on to record 20 saves in the second half of the season then please disregard this blog.

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Someone Planted Cannabis Flowers On the State House Front Lawn

Posted on July 15, 2019 by

WCVB – Vermont’s Capitol Police have quite the mystery on their hands after a visitor pointed out a possible cannabis plant growing in the flower beds on the front lawn.

An officer inspected the lawn on Monday and found what is believed to be either a hemp or marijuana plant. Chief Matthew Romei said they found 34 immature plants that are too young to differentiate.

“It’s legal to cultivate but there are limits on where you can do it, and the statehouse flower beds certainly aren’t one of those permissible sights,” Romei said. “If there is a typical Vermont story this is probably it.”

As a proud contrarian I can respect the hell out of this move. An A+ troll job by whatever cannabis enthusiast planted these seeds on the State House front lawn. Vermont seems pretty chill about everything too as they legalized medicinal marijuana way back in 2004 (it took Massachusetts until 2012) so I’m not sure if they’ll even bother to remove the plants or just let nature do its work.

Further lab testing would be needed to figure out what the plants are, but Romei says the department has no plans to test them because it isn’t pursuing a criminal case.

Good for you Vermont. Take notes, every other governing body in the country. This was a cheeky prank, not some underworld attempt to slide the devil’s lettuce into the hands of an unsuspecting youth. Planting weed mere feet from where stuffy politicians write and pass laws every day is just funny. Nothing more nothing less.

 

 

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Common Just Showed Why He’s Still One of the Realest to This Day

Posted on July 12, 2019 by

Common has released 11 albums, sold nearly 3 million copies, won 3 Grammys, a Golden Globe Award, and an Academy Award all while acting in some awesome movies during his spare time. Even with that mountain of accolades Common is still one of the realest dudes out there.

Walking down the street in New Orleans the other day he stumbled across a young, hungry rapper spitting freestyles on the sidewalk. It would have been more than reasonable for Common to do what most of us do; just blow right past that guy and continue on with your day. Except he actually stops and listens to encourage the young man before actually jumping in and giving the guy a few tips. Common legitimately looks excited about the whole encounter, which is so cool to see from someone as mega-famous as him. Not to mention he just put this guy on the map with a shoutout and a viral video for the ages.

Now I leave you with one of the best hip hop songs ever made.

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Sharks are Basically a Combine Workout Away from Killing People Now

Posted on July 12, 2019 by

Image result for sharks

Unless you’ve been living in a remote cabin somewhere, it’s impossible to have missed the 3,456,789,589 reports of shark sightings in Massachusetts over the past two years, particularly this summer.

OK, that total may be a bit exaggerated. BUT there is no doubt that the number of sightings are increasing at an absolutely alarming rate what seems like every week now. (Seriously, just Google “shark sightings Massachusetts” and try not to have a full-out panic attack.)

If you know me at all, you know I have an irrational fear of the ocean. Rarely will I go out much further than where the waterline reaches my waist, and even that’s pushing it. And it’s not just about sharks. There are literally MILLIONS of life forms floating around the world in one giant cesspool – two-thirds of which we barely know a damn thing about! – and you can’t even freakin’ see anything that’s underneath you! Literally at any time.

Even laying out on the beach all day is something entirely undesirable to me. Cool, so I get to sit there and bake like a potato in the searing sun while at the same time getting sand stuck in each and every crack and crevice of my body? Again:

Look, I realize that I’m in the extreme minority here, as most people are huge fans of the beach. Whatever. To each their own.

However, no matter how you feel about the beach or the ocean, you can’t deny the fact that sharks aren’t fucking around anymore. They keep getting closer and closer to the shore, in greater and greater numbers, and there are still people out there who are acting as though it’s no big deal.

HO HUM! THEY’RE JUST GIANT WATER MONSTERS. BIG WHOOP, RIGHT??!!

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No? Still not doin’ it for ya???!!! How about this little quote from the Cape Cod Times just last week:

“In the still morning air, gnats besieged those gathered for a 9 a.m. press conference Tuesday on the boardwalk at Marconi Beach. From the top of the bluff overlooking the beach, small glassy waves rolled in, and a touch of brown, free-floating seaweed made for a thick brown soup in a small band along the water’s edge.

A couple of hours later, around noon, the first alert of the season was triggered with the sighting of a great white shark just 40 yards off the beach.”

That’s not even half a football field! In fact, it’s the same distance that most NFL running backs, receivers, and other skill position players can run in less than 4.5 seconds FLAT. As any NFL fan knows, the 40-yard dash is typically the No. 1 metric used to measure the athleticism of pretty much every young player trying to make his way into the league. As I just said, the good guys can run it in no time at all, and even the slower dudes in the league – like the G.O.A.T. himself – can do it in under six seconds. For reference, check this clip out:

That’s a baby Tom Brady running 40 yards in just 5.28 seconds. How long do you think it would take a hungry shark – one that can reach speeds of 30 mph in the water! – to reach you from that distance, even if you’re only taking a “quick little dip” just past the shoreline? Think you can beat ’em out there, Michael Phelps?

Please.

So, while you can still take your little beach vacations this year and roll the dice just so you can splash around in salty fish pee (sorry, but that’s all the ocean is), don’t say your boy Mattes didn’t warn you! I’ll be just fine in the A.C. waiting for football season to start.

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I Don’t Think the Red Sox Can Pay Mookie Betts After Seeing This Outfit

Posted on July 11, 2019 by

As the great Andy Stitzer once said:

Granted I was on an island all week long so maybe I already missed the news cycle, but why is nobody talking about this?

Mookie, love ya mean, but what the hell are we doing here? This is a straight up fashion crime. He is the MVP of Major League Baseball, he is a professional bowler, he is an absurdly proficient jack of all trades, but a tastemaker in the fashion world he is not.

I gotta be honest, after seeing this outfit I am seriously, seriously hesitant to give a man with this judgement $400 Million dollars. I suppose you can attempt this look when you’re hitting .346 with 32 home runs, but not when you’re hitting .272 with 13 dingers.

All I’m saying is there has got to be someone at the Betts household that sees him on his way out the door wearing a tuxedo without a shirt like he’s Seal and says hold the phone Mook we need to make some tweaks here.

Stop trying to bring back the Lou Bega look, MLB.

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