Introducing the MLB Players Weekend Hats AKA Straight Acid Trip Apparel

To go along with Players Weekend and the nicknames jerseys, MLB is also rolling out some new wacky hats to match. This is some straight up acid trip apparel that I am unfamiliar with. Are the managers going to be required to wear Kramer’s technicolor dreamcoat?

But seriously, these are some wacky color combos. I’m 100% a jaded man and see this is a blatant marketing cash grab, disguised as a fun, quirky gimmick to show how fun baseball is. Now unsurprisingly you’ve got your usual suspects of teams that did the bare minimum like the Yankees, the Giants, and the Angels.

The Giants and the Angels basically just rolled out their normal hats. Good job, good effort guys.

Then you’ve got teams who said, “Acid? Why not make it 2 tabs, lets fucking go!”

Now theres actually a few pretty sharp hats in here too that take advantage of the wild color schemes and use it to create something fun and eye catching:

This is a choice hat by the Rockies going with their secondary logo, that is a great goddamn hat.

Doesn’t matter if you’re the worst team in baseball if you look slick in a new cap and the Liberty Bell logo here does that as both bold yet minimalist.

Really solid hat here for Minnesota, combining the state outline with the Twin Cities logo.

Unfortunately the Red Sox were not one of those teams, which hurts to say coming from a HUGE hat guy like myself. The Sox Players Weekend hat is a decidedly mediocre “meh.”

The other contenders for “hats I would potentially buy.”

You can never go wrong with a sexy throwback A’s hat. Pair this with a bushy mustache and a YUCK t-shirt to go full Dennis Eckersley and David Price legitimately may fight you on Yawkey Way.

Pirates usually have some pretty solid caps as I am the proud owner of the throwback striped pillbox hat.

This is a solid effort from the Pirates for Players Weekend, probably could’ve used a black brim though to even things out a bit.

Despite the fact I just deducted points from Pittsburgh for going too yellow, the Rays embrace it with the still ridiculous sunburst logo to make an exceptionally loud hat.

Now THAT is how you break down the apparel of professional sports teams. Your move, Uni Watch.

 

 

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John Farrell’s Reaction to Not Knowing a Rule in Last Night’s Game is a Hall of Fame GIF

So in last night’s dramatic come from behind win, there was a moment that spawned one of the greatest GIFs in a long time. John Farrell came out to the mound to make a pitching change, immediately following a mound visit from the pitching coach, which you can’t do. Manager John was legitimately stunned by this, which is not a great look for a Major League Baseball manager.

To be fair, I wasn’t 100% sure on this rule either because I’ve seen it done before, but then again its always due to an injury mid at-bat. I’m also not a MLB manager who should probably have a tighter grasp on the rules than a blogger.

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Good Monday Morning Red Sox Nation!

The Red Sox are 9-1 in August. They’ve won 10 of their last 11 games.  The arrival of Eduardo Nunez and the ascension of Rafael Devers have helped jump start a sluggish offense. Devers’s home run off Chapman in the 9th inning last night was the first home run Chapman allowed to a left handed hitter since 2011, and just the second he has allowed to a lefty in his career. And the pitch was 103 mph. And Devers hit it out to the opposite field. NBD.

devers.gif

The Sox are also 11-3 since David Price went to the disabled list. Chris Sale did his part again last night, striking out a dozen. Pomeranz got the job done in a a blowout win Saturday. He’s having the best year of his career. And Eduardo Rodriguez deserved a win on Friday night, but the bullpen couldn’t hold up their end of the bargain. If/when Price returns, he better have a short leash. This team that was unlikable not even three weeks ago now has an identity and some chemistry. They can’t let Price break that up.

It’s a good Monday morning for Red Sox fans. If John Farrell can brush up on the rule book, this team might be unstoppable.

 

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Ezekiel Elliott Suspended 6 Games by the NFL. There Goes My Fantasy Season

I feel like I shouldn’t have to state this disclaimer, but I do. Don’t get it twisted, if Ezekiel Elliott was beating his girlfriend he’s a scumbag and should face something a lot tougher than a couple months off from work. With that being said, lets now move on.

Ezekiel Elliott, you stupid sonofabitch. I’ve said this to you once before and I’ll say it again.

After taking an absolute bath the last couple of years with keepers made out of glass in Thomas Rawls and his predecessor Marshawn Lynch, I was primed for a huge year with stud keeper Zeke. Now he’s out nearly half the season as he faces a six game suspension with the Cowboys’ bye week coming in Week 6. So that first round price tag for a guy who won’t take the field until Week 8 is out the door.

And in some sort of sick joke Marshawn Lynch is back in the league just taunting me. Not a ton of great options for potential keepers for a fantasy football team that finished in 11th place. What a vicious cycle. I guess I could always go with Matt Bryant? At least he won’t be getting suspended for being a complete dickhead.

Half t-shirt wearing, suspension earning, fantasy tanking season Ezekiel Elliott. I think I’ve just made a new enemy. You can join the list of scrub players I send angry letters to asking for my fantasy football money back as penance. Thomas Rawls, Justin Blackmon, Felix Jones, LenDale White, Travis Henry, Carson Palmer. You’re on the list now Ezekiel.

PS – Jerry Jones can eat a bag of dicks on this one.

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Jesse from The Fast And The Furious is Alive. Well, Sort Of

Jalopnik – Jesse was such an underrated character in the first Fast & Furious movie, spouting such gems as “overnight parts from Japan” and his prayer to the car gods. Sadly, he didn’t survive to the sequels. But a shop in Canada recreated his car, and the stoke is strong with nostalgia all around here.

Okay, so I guess the actor who played Jesse was always alive, but I haven’t seen him since that dirty motherfucker Johnny Tran gunned him down in LA all those years ago. So it was a little emotional seeing Jesse back with his white Jetta alright?

Maybe this is the phoenix rising from the ashes moment for Jesse?

“The car’s mission is actually to get Jesse’s character back on people’s radar and get him into another Fast & Furious movie as some of you (jokingly?) predicted in the comments.”

YES! Hey you already brought one character back from the dead in Letty, so why not bring back Jesse? Sure, he got filled with lead on Dom Toretto’s front lawn, but I mean Jon Snow got stabbed in the heart and he came back to life. Its Hollywood, just have a throw away line explaining it and people will accept it and move on. We all accepted a street racing mechanic evolving into a criminal mastermind/GI Joe/CIA operative so lets not let the law of reality stop us now guys.

PS – For the cool price of $46,200 I could have owned Jesse’s original Jetta from Fast 1 signed by the late great Paul Walker (may he rest in peace). Thats a bargain and a definitive upgrade from my Mazda.

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Friday Morning Randomness

Looks like Jose Canseco is off the hook.

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It’s Over – The Worst New Product of 2017 Is Here

TODAY.com – The latest wacky pickle product is something Walmart is calling “Tropickles,” a summer release featuring cucumber pickles floating in a jar of red fruit punch. The pickles, which were released July 14, are now being sold under the discount retailer’s Great Value brand. 

 angry hate frustrated what the hell office space GIF

I love trying outrageous new food and beverage products. I’ve yet to find a new Oreo flavor that I can’t eat a whole sleeve of in one sitting. I admire Taco Bell for its tireless efforts in innovation and for bringing new and creative products to life, like the Doritos Locos Tacos. I’ve enjoyed a few Not Your Father’s Root Beers, and know that Dougie can’t wait to get his hands on some Not Your Father’s Mountain Ale.

I love it when companies and restaurants take chances. But fruit punch flavored pickles is where I draw the line. Who the hell thought cucumbers in fruit punch flavored vinegar would be a good idea? I’m serious. I can’t think of one reason to try a Tropickle other than just to see how disgusting it is. Maybe I’ll pick up a jar and save it until December and make the guy who finishes in last place in my fantasy football league down it. It can’t be much better than pumpkin spice motor oil.

ps oil

So while I’m washing down a McLobster with a Moxie this weekend, I’ll take a pass on Tropickles.

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