This Tom Brady Bill Belichick LEGO Mural is the Most Impressive Thing I’ve Ever Seen

Lets just point out that this was in fact made by children. This magnificent magic eye mural of LEGO artwork was made by small humans. To put that into context, I did a 100 piece Snoopy puzzle on Christmas with the family and I almost flipped the table in blind rage nine times. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHICH BLUE SKY PIECE GOES WHERE??

Well done, children. Well done.

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The Consistency in Which Tom Brady Makes the AFC Championship Game is Unparalleled in the Most Literal Sense of the Word

To recap and present optically so that this can be easily digested:

Rate Category                                                                                 Percentage

-Tom Brady making the AFC Championship game                        76.5%
-NFL QB (Drew Brees) completing passes, per season                  74.4%
-Lebron James making free throws (because ESPN                       73%
is required to talk about Lebron James every story)
-Best putter in PGA between 5ft-10ft makes putt, 2018 season     68%

Let’s really let that sink in. To do that, you have to remember that every other category other than Brady’s is measured in single occurrences. A golfer putts once. The ball is only thrown once per attempt. Queen James only shoots once, and probably draws a foul from the foul line because an opposing player looked at him too aggressively.

Now think that in Brady’s category, he had to win 17 OR 18 professional football games to to work his way to a 76.5% percentage rate. Floyd Mayweather is 50-0 currently right? He beat 50 different opponents (with the exception of a couple rematches) one time on one night without ever losing. Now imagine if he had to fight 17 or 18 guys on those one nights to earn that “1” win. THAT IS FUCKING PREPOSTEROUS.

Now dig deeper and think about the times we layed eggs against the Colts and the Ravens and how this number could very well be even higher. For us, Pats Nation, that are numb to Tom Brady’s greatness and consistency; who have long since lost gratitude for the blessing of having him Quarterback our team for so long, this data puts things back in perspective. Thomas Edward Patrick Brady brings us within a hair of a championship at a more regular clip than a safe and sound golfer shielded from so much as a PEEP OF CROWD NOISE is able to tap a ball into a hole from 5ft-10ft. Brady does what he does with 300lb men trying to murder him and threats to his family and genitals being rained down upon him from the crowd.

So next time someone who has not seen a clenched fist, a field, a court, a sheet of ice, or in Max Kellerman’s case, the outside of a pilates studio, since they were 10 tried to come at the GOAT, Just remind, say, Max Kellerman that Tom Brady “dinks and dunks” his way to the AFC Championship game at a better clip than he gets shutdown by FS1 hair stylists.

LONG MAY HE REIGN.

-Joey B.

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Spider-Man: Far From Home Trailer Just Dropped and Yes Spidey is Alive

Okay first things first, this movie looks incredible, but it is such a bummer because it takes all of the suspense out of Avengers: Endgame. We all know what’s going to happen, but at least let us pretend to think differently. Having the actors for Black Panther, Spider-Man and others already signed on to do multiple sequels and then dropping the trailers for those movies while they’re still technically dead is a lame duck move. Kinda takes the venom (see what I did there?) out of this scene too.

But aside from all that, this movie looks awesome and Jake Gyllenhaal as Mysterio?

LETS GOO

Can Marvel do what Sony failed to do over and over again? Build a universe around the Sinister Six? I don’t know, but this is a hell of a start from the small sample size we’ve seen.

We also get some always welcomed Nick Fury in this movie, which I was not expecting.

Clearly this movie is going to have a much larger impact on the MCU as a whole, which makes sense since some key Avengers are definitely going to die in Endgame. We might be looking at Spidey taking on the mantle as one of the leaders of the Avengers moving forward and Nick Fury will help launch us into that next Phase of movies.

This spring and summer is going to be an adrenaline shot to the chest if you’re a fan of the MUC with Captain Marvel coming out on March 8th, then Avengers: Endgame on April 26th, and then followed up shortly thereafter with Spider-Man: Far From Home on July 5th. Buckle up.

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#RushHourRap – 50 Cent – Many Men

Tom Brady and I must have a mental connection because on Saturday night I went deep down the rabbit hole of 2000’s rap and got into a debate (at a 30th birthday party because I’m washed) about how Get Rich or Die Tryin’ is one of the best rap albums of all time. So what does Tom bump for his celebratory Monday workout? Many Men from Get Rich or Die Tryin’ of course. It’s been 15 years, but this album still goes hard and *nothing* beats the over the top style of early 2000’s music videos.

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Here Was Boston’s Pitch to Amazon. Mad Men This is Not.

Boston Globe –  The high-water mark of Boston’s unsuccessful bid to land Amazon’s second headquarters came on a brisk Monday in early March, beginning with coffee in the Eagle Room at Boston City Hall and ending with oysters and steak at More Than Words, a nonprofit bookstore and job-training center in the South End.

Press play before reading for the full blog experience.

The city of Boston was a finalist for Amazon HQ2, which as we know was unsuccessful, but some new details came out the other day on just what was in the pitch. Not exactly a Don Draper level presentation to be honest. Welcome to this hell hole of congestion where the traffic never ends, there’s always construction, and it’s impossible to get across the city in less than an hour during rush hour.

Without further ado, the pitch:

In their pitch, state and local officials worked together closely, promoted the region’s universities and educated workforce, and — unlike most other cities involved in the chase — offered no tax breaks beyond what is available to any large employer expanding here.

We have smart people for you to choose from, buttt you’ll pay through the nose to be here just like everyone else. Great start, really get the prospect interested from the get go. Always Be Closing guys, thats just Sales 101.

Then there were basic logistics to sort out, like what to feed the visitors from Seattle and how to show them as much of Boston as was practical in a short amount of time, without getting bogged down in traffic.

“I’m really nervous about Tuesday,” one City Hall staffer wrote at 1:50 a.m. the Friday before the visit, laying out the challenges of getting from Amazon’s downtown hotel — not named in the documents — to Dudley Square to meet with school officials, and then to the roof of the Bolling Municipal Building to see development sites. “Nice view — not enough time,” the staffer wrote.

HAHAH good luck showing anyone around Boston without getting bogged down in traffic. True story: my sister in law was running the Boston Marathon and a ton of family came up to watch her run, watching from various points throughout the course. The plan was to get from Newton to the finish line in real time to watch her finish, which with the traffic and the parking in this city is impossible. So I bombed down Storrow Drive with a car load of people, got as deep as possible into Back Bay and then just fell on my sword and told everyone to get out and walk the last couple of blocks while I went to find a parking garage by myself.

Long story short: traffic always has been and always will be a massive inconvenience in this city and I’m sure Amazon is smart enough to realize that.

Boston’s team tried to keep Amazon off tour buses. “We wanted them walking. We wanted them on the T,” Barros recalled Monday. “We wanted them to experience getting around the way people who live here do.”

“We wanted them on the T.” We should have just started and stopped the blog with that line right there. As soon as someone said this sentence out loud they should have known this pitch was doomed We really wanted Amazon to feel the inner rage that all of our residents feel on a daily basis.

Can’t believe they didn’t just write up a contract on a cocktail napkin after getting to experience the joys of riding the T. It was probably on time and everything.

Next, they hiked across Fort Point Channel to the penthouse of a Seaport apartment building to hear about buildings there.

The Seaport is dope, but it’s already running out of free space and will probably be underwater in 50 years.

The next day, after breakfast in Dudley Square and a visit to Assembly Row, Amazon’s contingent headed out of town.

I work near Assembly Row and it’s a cool little spot for some outlet shopping, but it’s not exactly where I’d take a trillion dollar company to try and sell them on my city. You may have nearly gotten out of your car in traffic to stab someone getting here, but hey the PUMA outlet store has some really sweet deals!

While having a company like Amazon in Boston would have been cool, it also would have been a logistical nightmare like oh I don’t know HOSTING THE OLYMPICS. Except this would bring 50,000 people to Boston for a lot longer than 2 weeks. I ‘m already in pre-road rage because the city is planning a massive overhaul on Storrow Drive (we have such great history with highway projects) to go along with the guaranteed traffic from the upcoming opening of the Encore casino in Everett. If this city added a goddamn Amazon headquarters I’d literally have to buy a jet ski and bomb down the Charles for my morning commute. So maybe we dodged a bullet here guys.

 

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Is Yesterday’s Patriots Win a Dead Cat Bounce?

Image result for office space disagree gif

The Dolphins beating the Patriots with a Miami Miracle in Week 14 was a dead cat bounce. The Steelers beating the Patriots 17-10 in Week 15 was a dead cat bounce. The Vikings beating the Lions in Detroit in Week 16 was a dead cat bounce. That was not what we witnessed in Foxboro yesterday afternoon.

Of all that was said, written and Tweeted about the Patriots in the last 24 hours, this might be the most ridiculous.

What we witnessed in Foxboro yesterday was the systematic dismantling of a very good football team. The Patriots absolutely manhandled the Chargers. Tom Brady completed 34 of 44 pass attempts for 343 yards. Sony Michel rushed the ball 24 times for 129 yards and three touchdowns. Julian Edelman looked the best he’s looked all season and caught nine balls for 151 yards. James White caught 15 balls for 97 yards.

The Patriots defense held Philip Rivers to 25 of 51 on pass attempts. He did throw for 331 yards and three touchdowns, but much of that damage was done late in the fourth quarter when the game was already out of reach.

This is not to say that the Patriots will beat Kansas City on Sunday. It will be a very tough game on the road against a team that has already demonstrated that it can handle playoff pressure in the elements. But don’t tell me that the Chiefs are going to run the Patriots out of the building. That’s not going to happen. This will not be a repeat of September 29, 2014.

The Patriots may be underdogs on Sunday, but they’ve got a chip and a chair. Time and again, they’ve shown us that’s all they need.

 

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The Thunder Are Retiring Nick Collison’s Number….Huh?

NBA.comThe Oklahoma City Thunder announced today that the team will retire Nick Collison’s No. 4 on Wednesday, March 20 when the Thunder hosts the Toronto Raptors at Chesapeake Energy Arena.

Six points, five rebounds, one block. If you use round numbers, those are Nick Collison’s career averages. And on the back of that historic, never before seen stat-line, the Thunder are going to retire his number.

In terms of publicity stunts and good will gestures, this has to be one of the more absurd things I’ve heard of a franchise doing. I mean, this is technically the same franchise that Gary Payton and Shawn Kemp played for. But Nick Collison’s number is going to hang from the rafters? Oooook.

And I get he played that he played his whole, fifteen year career there. I get he probably did stuff like “gave back to the community” and was most likely “a consummate pro”. But do you see the Celtics retiring Leon Powe’s jersey? No you do not. And no Powe did not play for the Celtics for 15 years but he arguably contributed more to, ya know, their actual success than Collison did for the Thunder.

The only reason this is blogable is because of the question of “where is the bar?” Much like the Colts putting up a banner every time they win a game outside of the calendar year that the season began in, are NBA teams just going to start retiring number for no discernible reason? It kind of takes the wind out of the sales of these kinds of things when it is done for players who, ya know, actually deserve it.

Last thing, you know when this news went out, this conversation was had:

Brian Scalabrine: Hey you think maybe…
Mike Gorman: No.

-Joey B.

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