Category: Boston

Introducing the Celtics New German Big Man Daniel Theis AKA The Daniel Wall

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So the Celtics have reportedly come to terms on a deal with Daniel Theis, a 6’9″ forward/center out of Germany. Not gonna pretend to know dick about this guy, so a quick breakdown from celticsblog.com below.

“He’s been a professional since 2011 and has played with Lowen Braunschweig, Ratiopharm Ulm and Brose Baskets in the German Basketball Bundesliga. In 2015-2016 and 2016-2017 he was a German BBL All-Star Starter and was named the Defensive Player of the Year in 2016-17. He was also named the Best National Player in the BBL in 2015-2016.”

Now I’m all for the Celtics adding some size to the roster, but the scouting report seems to describe a strong rebounder, a guy who block some shots into the rafters, yet has a limited offensive game. AKA Jordan Mickey. And Mickey was a guy who showed some flashes of being a beast on the boards, but got next to no playing time because of said offensive limitations so it’ll be interesting to see how Brad Stevens works Theis into the rotation.

Again, not gonna claim to be an expert on this German import so I’m gonna lean on the guys at CelticsBlog.com here. Theis definitely seems like a project as he’s a guy that was available to anyone in 2013, but went undrafted. His only NBA experience coming in the Summer League with the Wizards in 2014. But hey, maybe he’s a diamond in the rough. Don’t hate it, shoot your shot Danny.

Either way, I’ve been a gentleman and given Theis the opportunity to pick his own nickname, but I’m leaning heavy towards The Daniel Wall since he is from Germany and all.

Cue the mixtape!

I Wish I Loved Anything in This World as Much as Danny Ainge Loves Making Trades

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celticstrade_buttonmeme

Boston Herald – The Celtics agreed to terms with Philadelphia [Saturday] night on a trade that will send the No. 1 overall pick in Thursday’s NBA draft to the Sixers in exchange for this year’s third overall pick and a protected 2018 Lakers first-round pick.

Hate it. Danny Ainge has been riding the NBA merry-go-round for four years since the window on on the New Big 3 officially closed in 2013. It closed with a bang when Ainge swapped two aging superstars for a boatload of picks from a deeply misguided Brooklyn Nets franchise. Now, with that trade set to pay off like no trade since the the Herschel Walker deal, it’s time for Danny to get off the merry-go-round, push his chips to the middle of the table, and play the cards he’s been holding for four years.

In those four years, Danny has built this team back up from almost the bottom of the league. The Celtics have gone from 25 to 40 to 48 to 53 wins and the number one seed in the East in 2017 over the past four seasons. Danny has meticulously added pieces and can now add a center piece that could push this team over the top for a decade.

Instead, Danny wants to kick the can down the road, swap the pick, and keep riding the merry-go-round to make more deals. This guy loves to deal. He loves to keep people guessing. He loves to make people think he’s playing 4D chess while the rest of the Association is playing checkers. It feels like this team has been chasing this moment and this opportunity since the Len Bias tragedy and instead of going for it, Danny wants to punt. Again.

As I’ve written here before, I’d rather lose by ten points going for the win than lose by one point and look back and say “Goddamn, we should have gone for the win.” Trading this pick and kicking the can further down the road is not going for the win, regardless of what happens in free agency.

The only possible argument for trading this pick is that Danny has studied the current landscape of the league and has made the determination that there is no way to get past Cleveland and/or Golden State in the next few years. The Celtics will still have next year’s Nets pick, and will gain another future pick in this deal (either the Lakers’ 2018 pick or Sacramento’s 2019 pick). Maybe the plan is for the Celtics to really ramp things up before the 2019-2020 season, when LeBron James will be 35 and Steph Curry will be 31. They can’t both go to the Finals another three years in a row, can they? Or maybe the plan is just to have all of the first round picks by the 2030 draft.

Whatever the real plan is, this still feels like a major disappointment. The Celtics have been in a holding pattern for four years, and now it looks like they’ll be in a holding pattern for a few more years. Lots of teams have mortgaged their future to win in the present (Brooklyn Nets, 2013), but this almost feels like the Celtics are mortgaging their present to (maybe) win in the future. I’m sure Danny has a plan here, and I hope it’s a good one. I just don’t see it.

Guerin Austin Could Learn a Thing or Two from this Red Sox Sideline Reporter

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So as is tradition here at The 300s, I enjoy giving Red Sox sideline reporter Guerin Austin shit because every single time there’s a victorious Gatorade bath she gets SOAKED. Every. Single. Time. Smiles right through the pain too.

Last night though this suave new guy stepped in (prob because Guerin has pneumonia from one of those Gatorade waterboardings) and showed everyone how its done.

 

Cue the highlights!

 

David Price’s start tonight just got a whole lot more interesting

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MLB: Boston Red Sox at New York Yankees

USA Today – Red Sox pitcher David Price is not on good terms with the media in Boston.

Price plans to only speak to news reporters on days he pitches and no longer give personal interviews…

On Wednesday night, following Boston’s 8-0 loss to the Yankees, Price took [it] a step further, barking at the Boston Herald, “Write whatever the (expletive) you want. Just write it. Whatever the (expletive) you want.”

Then on his way out, he was reported to have yelled, “(Expletive) them! (Expletive) them all. All of (the media).”

An oldie but a goodie – blaming your problems in Boston on the media. I don’t think Price has a real argument here. I could name plenty of other athletes who had it/have it tougher in Boston than him. But do whatever works for you, man.

What this episode all but confirms is that David Price will be opting out of his contract after next season. There’s no way that this can go on for another five-and-a-half years. But as foolish as it is to blame your struggles on everyone else, blowing up on the media can definitely provide a spark. So go for it, David. If it gets you to pitch lights out for two months, I’m all for it. The Red Sox will win more games, and you’ll make more money in a year and a half. Everyone wins.

I won’t lie though. Part of me wants to see Price get drubbed tonight. It would suck to see the Sox lose more ground to the Yankees, but it might be worth it to get another all-time meltdown out of it.

Again, either the Red Sox win more games or we get another epic meltdown. Win-win!

Twitter Makes Fake Holidays Real

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If you’ve been on Twitter today, you know that today is National Doughnut/Donut Day. [Cream-filled donuts will get their own special day on September 14th.] But did you know that today is also National Rotisserie Chicken Day, National Rocky Road Day, and National Leave the Office Early Day?

You can find all of the national days you want on the National Day Calendar.

I’m a consumer, so I have no problem with Dunkin’ Donuts inventing reasons to give out free stuff. I will also use any excuse I can get to leave the office early, even if I can’t imagine “It’s National Leave the Office Early Day!” working on any boss. But let’s talk about the real reason these national days exist: to give small-market radio DJs mindless banter.

In between weather reports, traffic reports and community announcements, what else would DJs in Chamberlain, South Dakota have to talk about if it weren’t National Beer Day (April 7th)? “Hey, it’s National Beer Day, so be sure to crack open a cold one tonight!! But don’t drink and drive! Always drink responsibly, even if it’s the best day of the year to put back a brew! Or two!!!! Don’t tell anyone I said to HAHA!!!”

How do these days even become a thing? Is there some national governing body? Does it have to start trending on Twitter to get noticed? Or can I just proclaim July 27th National Dugout Phone Appreciation Day?

There are way too many useless, foolish, half-baked days. But if DJs in Jackson, Wyoming need something to talk about on July 27th, why not make it #NationalDugoutPhoneAppreciationDay?

Red Sox Have Up and Down Memorial Day: Price Looks Good, Pedroia Gets Hurt

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Yesterday was a shitty loss for the Red Sox that can be pinned pretty much on anyone in the bullpen not named Craig Kimbrel. But the point of this post is to talk about the return of one David Price. In his first major league start of the season Price’s line looked like this: 5 IP, 2 Hits, 3 Runs, 2 Walks, and 4 K’s

After getting smacked around in Pawtucket and getting chirped by fans *in Pawtucket* I think we all weren’t expecting such a solid start. Now did Price look dominant? No. But for a guy who hasn’t pitched in a major league game in about 8 months, not too shabby.

Remember, Price missed all of spring training so this is basically still his version of that. And of course I have no idea what to expect out of his health, I still am pretty pessimistic about a guy in his 30s who opted to skip surgery and let it heal naturally because that rarely works in the long run.

But, for a guy with a shaky elbow, Price was juicing his fastball consistently at 94 mph and even hit 97 on the gun. Not bad at all. So while the Sox shit the bed in the last few frames…

And Price did serve up an absolute batting practice ball to x for a 3 run dinger. But with it being his first start of the year, all in all I’ll take it. Hey, at least he seems like he cares, which is more than some other guys.

Now onto the bad shit.

Dustin Pedroia got tabletopped by Jose Abreu who was sliding into first to try and beat Pedey to the bag. With the 6’3″ 255 pounder basically diving into Pedroia’s path, he banged into Abreu and flipped over landing awkwardly on his wrist.

Initially it looked like Abreu took the brunt of the hit, but Pedroia was slow to get up and left the game. Dustin’s headed back to Boston to get an MRI on his wrist, which concerns the shit out of me. As a 5’8″ second baseman, Pedroia is diving all over the place every single day, but now he lands on his wrist and can’t finish the game. I. am. concerned. These little bumps and bruises like the Machado knee injury are starting to stack up for him, so hopefully its nothing, but flying back to Boston mid-series to get an MRI is obviously a red flag.

But hey guys, don’t worry, with all the injuries piling up it might force the Red Sox hand and leave them no choice but to call up the $95 million disaster, the kung fu fucking panda.

Sandoval, who by the way is healthy now, is currently playing down in Pawtucket and went 1/4 with another error last night. So thats good. Him and Rusney Castillo are probably laughing their balls off at the money they’re making to play baseball in fucking Rhode Island.

Even Price was down in Pawtucket for like a week and a half before saying get me the fuck out of here.

At least Chris Sale takes the mound tonight.

Hanley Ramirez Was HUNTING Guerin Austin After Red Sox Win

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So Brian Johnson threw a complete game shutout in his Fenway debut, the first pitcher to do that since a guy named Pedro Martinez. Anyways, BJ got the customary Gatorade bath, and per usual Guerin Austin suffered the collateral damage. At this point I feel like that’s got to be in her contract that she accepts frequent Gatorade baths and has to pretend its funny that a Sox player ruined another one of her coats.

*Yes in my excitement I accidentally called Brian Johnson Brian Anderson. Hand up, that ones on me.