Tag: Gronk

Gronk Goes On An All-Time Bender, Rings Up $100K Bar Tab

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I feel like the word “epic” is thrown around a little too cavalierly these days. Getting black out in Faneuil Hall and then getting drunk pizza is not epic, Jimmy. BUT, ringing up a tab that tops SIX FIGURES definitely qualifies for that. Hell Gronk almost equaled what the entire Bruins team spent drinking at Foxwoods after winning the goddamn Stanley Cup in 2011. To rack up $102K at the bar, I’m gonna assume there wasn’t a lot of Miller Lites floating around.

And this is how you party…#shrine #foxwoods #gronkfam

A post shared by Erik Lorch || ⒻⒾⓃⓀ (@finkshotit) on Jun 18, 2017 at 1:32am PDT

 

To be honest though, Shrine should be paying Gronk for this kind of free promotion.

@kberg210 gettin that twerk angle with @gronk 🎥👌

A post shared by Erik Lorch || ⒻⒾⓃⓀ (@finkshotit) on Jun 19, 2017 at 9:42am PDT

 

Kylie Jenner makes like $300K for a promoted Instagram post for christ’s sake. So, when you think about it, its criminal to even let Gronk open his wallet for this one. Sure, take a few grand to fix the holes in the dry wall and steam clean the carpets and couches. But other than that you just thank Gronk for coming to fucking Connecticut to party and call it even.

About last night… 🎉🍾🎤 @gronk @official_flo @shrinefoxwoods #FOXSTAR

A post shared by Foxwoods Resort Casino (@foxwoods) on Jun 18, 2017 at 7:01pm PDT

Patriots Super Bowl Parade Recap

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What a time to be alive. Another Super Bowl victory lap for the New England Patriots with millions of fans coming out in a bitterly cold and miserable day. And seeing 5 Lombardi trophies all together at once is rarer than getting all of the Dragon Balls together.

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Jacoby Brissett rocking the Tom Brady jersey, Gronk sacrificing and partying for the fans, every single RB shouting out James White, Ninkovich getting AFTER IT, Brady and Belichick cementing themselves as GOATs and the fans capping it all off with the chant of “We Want Six.”

Odell Beckham Almost Bags Sterling Shepard Taking Adderall On Instagram During Infamous Boat Party

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SNY – Giants wide receiver Sterling Shepard was offered and turned down Adderall, a prescription stimulant, during his recent trip to Miami, according to a TerezOwens.com report. Shepard, along with wide receivers Odell Beckham, Victor Cruz and Roger Lewis were seen partying in Miami on a yacht with Justin Bieber and rappers Fabolous and Trey Songz following the Giants’ win over the Redskins.

What an absolute bunch of morons. Its one thing to be out partying when you have a few days off. Its another thing to be on a boat with rappers and drugs a few days before your biggest game of the year.

Sure, maybe Shepard did indeed turn down anything offered his way, thats not my point. I don’t care if these guys are blowing lines of Adderall off bathroom stalls. My point is these dummies are putting themselves in terrible positions just days before a PLAYOFF game. Can you even imagine Julian Edelman and Danny Amendola partying on a boat before a game? Not even Gronk does that shit, who has been on the record saying he doesn’t even drink during the season. No. Those guys get shitfaced and tear up the city *after* they win the Super Bowl. Not before the postseason even starts.

Sure the Giants beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl. Twice. I remember. But theres a reason the Pats are in the hunt every single year and its the first time the Giants have made the playoffs in half a decade and its shit like this.

@obj #odellbeckhamjr #obj

A video posted by Odell Beckham Jr (@royal_objr) on Jan 2, 2017 at 3:10pm PST

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BREAKING NEWS: Patriots Sign Griff Whalen, the Guy Involved in the Worst Trick Play in the History of the NFL

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What a move! The Patriots just signed Griff Whalen, who if you don’t remember, was one of the architects of the worst trick play in the history of the NFL. This genius:

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Probably the hardest I’ve ever laughed at a failed play. I remember seeing them line up and thinking, well I must be missing something because this is some bullshit you couldn’t even get away with in Madden. But nope, just as dumb as it looked. Snapped the ball and somehow Griff wasn’t able to block two guys by himself for a loss.

So yes, the Patriots signed this guy to help fill in at WR since the team is falling apart at the seams and is now down Gronk and Amendola. Even the go-to emergency Go Route specialist Matthew Slater is out with an injury so the Pats needed to fill the depth chart with some security.

New England also bypassed former Patriots Kembrell Thompkins and Aaron Dobson (Drop-son) to sign Griff, so goes to show how highly Belichick thinks of his former draft picks.

We now turn to the man of 47 career receptions in our time of need.

Gronkowski Out 8 Weeks Due to Back Surgery

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Well thats a pretty shitty way to kick off Thirsty Thursday. Seriously, what a goddamn disaster. All the reports coming out now are saying Gronk will be out for 8 weeks due to a herniated disc in his back that he needs to get surgery on. That puts us right through to the Super Bowl. So in theory, Gronk could be back for the Super Bowl if the Patriots get a top 2 seed, earn a first round bye and win the AFC, all without their best weapon.

All of this if Gronk’s recovery goes as scheduled. Which it never fucking does. Name one Gronk injury that wasn’t filled with drama and setbacks. The torn up knee, the broken arm, doesn’t matter. We’ll get some joint press release from the Patriots and Gronk in like 7 weeks saying how he’s actually out another 6 months. Jesus Christ, it’s like they have the old Red Sox team doctors on staff that completely sandbagged Jacoby Ellsbury with horribly inaccurate target dates to get back on the field. No one ever knows with Gronk and thats what worries me the most.

Oh that and of course he’s getting ANOTHER back surgery, after he already had one in college, which is why he missed his last season at Arizone and which is why he dropped into the second round for the Pats to snatch up. Two back surgeries, a knee surgery, arm surgeries and countless other injuries before you even hit 30? I don’t want to be all doom and gloom, but that is a recipe for disaster and its a goddamn shame because if healthy Gronk has the potential to be the greatest Tight End of *all-time*

Hopefully some additional reports come out in the coming weeks with better news, but right now it looks like we’re back to the days of trying to win Super Bowls without your best player not named Tom Brady. Hey, at least Belichick was smart enough this year to have a mythical creature on the roster as a contingency plan in Martellus Bennett AKA “The Black Unicorn.”

Dion Lewis Almost Ready to Complete Patriots Voltron

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NFL.com – NFL Network Insider Ian Rapoport reported Wednesday that running back Dion Lewis is expected to return to practice this week, per a source. The elusive back started the season on the physically unable to perform list after tearing his ACL last season in early November. His return to practice opens a 21-day window in which he must be activated to the 53-man roster or placed on season-ending injured reserve.

Dion Lewis is almost back. In a word:

yes_kenan

But seriously, is there nothing the rest of the NFL can do to stop the Pats pain train? Got off to a solid start at 3-1, Tom Brady came back in Week 5 and has played OK (i.e. “Leads the NFL in Every Meaningful Category“), Martellus Bennett is flashing his potential with 3 TD games, Gronk is healthy and now we got Dion about to come back? If he can play anywhere close to how he played last year, which is a big if, the Patriots will literally be unstoppable. Dion essentially completes the Patriots version of Voltron (or the Megazord if you’re more of a live action anime kind of guy) and that scares every other team in the NFL.

They’ll have arguably the best player at almost every offensive position on the field. The best QB, the best TE, the best inside receiver, the best No. 2 TE and one of if not the best receiving backs in the league.

Who do you cover? Double Gronk and hope for the best? Good luck. The Bills tried that last year and Lewis went off for 6 catches for 98 yards, 40 yards rushing and a TD. Opposing head coaches and D coordinators are going to start doing a Hue Jackson and just take off their headsets conceding defeat. God it’s good to be a Patriots fan. Now everyone keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times and eat your goddamn vitamins.

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