Tag: Loki

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents – Thor: The Dark World

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More than any other Marvel film, the first two Thor movies require so much explanation right out of the gates. Theres definitely a lot going on, but it’s never a great start when the first 5 minutes of the movie require an Anthony Hopkins voiceover to explain the background. Especially after we’ve already met Thor and the whole crew just 2 years prior.

I haven’t watched Thor 2 since I saw it in theaters in 2013. All I remembered about this movie was that all kinds of stuff got destroyed in London. Thats it.

Before we get into the review though I have to point out one thing. THANK GOD THEY FIXED THOR’S EYEBROWS. I mentioned it in my review of Thor 1, but it’s something that bothered me for a decade because I could never quite put my finger on what it was.

Thor 1

Thor 2

Okay now that thats been addressed we can move on amicably.

So we begin with Loki being sentenced to a lifetime of prison in the Asgardian tombs for his crimes in Thor 1 and The Avengers.

Thor drops into save the day on another battle that his team is fighting for some reason or another. Apparently after the bifrost was destroyed (its fixed now) all the other realms rebelled for some reason so the Asgardians are trying to get all nine realms to bend the knee once again. In a common theme in this movie, it doesn’t really matter why.

Back on Earth Jane (Natalie Portman) is in London investigating science stuff (again doesn’t matter why) when she stumbles upon a rift in dimensions of some sort. Gravity is all wonky and they discover a wormhole of sorts when they throw trash, bricks, and car keys into the portal only to have them disappear entirely. Jane then gets sucked into one of these wormholes and comes into contact with a dark force. Doing so appears to have awoken the Dark Elves that Thor’s grandfather banished so many years ago.

It’s only when Thor goes to talk with Heimdall and asks about Jane do they realize somethings wrong; Heimdall can’t see her. So Thor bombs down to London to check on her. When the cops show up and try to arrest Jane for trespassing she goes Super Saiyan and nearly blows the guy away. Unsure of what the hell is going on Thor takes her back to Asgard for help. Odin recognizes this dark force as the Aether, which his voiceover from the beginning of the film explains how the Dark Elves weaponized thousands of years ago.

“Their leader, Malekith, made a weapon out of that darkness, it was called the Aether. While the other relics often appear as stones, the Aether is fluid, and ever changing. It changes matter into dark matter, and seeks out host bodies, drawing strength from their life force.”

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Asgard has the absolute WORST security in all of the MCU. In each of the Thor movies a villain sneaks into Asgard somehow undetected and sets off an explosion. In. every. single. movie. In this instance, one of the Dark Elves poses as a prisoner being transported to Asgard Jail. Anddd about 10 minutes later this Dark Elf breaks out (with an explosion) and starts a full scale prison riot.

“It is as if they resent being in prison,” one of Thor’s warriors hilariously quips.

Heimdall spotting an invisible ship trying to sneak into Asgard and taking it down with a nothing but a couple of daggers is low key the best scene in the movie.

Thanks to the prison riot distraction the Dark Elf faux prisoner is able to knock out the Asgardian castle’s defenses so Malekith and his army can roll right up to the front door. He’s looking for the Aether, which currently lives inside Natalie Portman.

Now in return for helping hide Natalie Portman from Malekith, Thor’s mom is rewarded with a sword through the back. Thor chases Malekith and the dark elves out of Asgard. With their defenses destroyed Oden opts to wait for the intruders to return leaving Asgard and its people as sitting ducks.

Thor doesn’t exactly agree with his father and concocts a plan to use Jane as bait to draw Malekith out of hiding. With the bifrost closed and the Tesseract locked away, Thor needs a little help sneaking off Asgard.

Quick aside: Scottish actors have an absolute lock on these Viking roles as the Mrs. sniped Game of Thrones actor Clive Russell as one of Oden’s Asgardian generals, who is best known for playing the Blackfish.

I understand that Viking culture is Viking culture, but there are a lot of similarities to Game of Thrones in this movie. Welp, turns out the director of Thor 2, Alan Taylor, has also directed several episodes of Thrones. Small world.

Anyways, with a little help from Sif and the Warriors Three, Thor is able to get off Asgard alongside Loki and Jane.

Back on Earth: Another annoying thing about this movie is that Professor Erik Selvig is legitimately crazy the entire movie, running around naked at one point before getting arrested,

only to become completely normal again in the final act of the movie. The only explanation given is his quip “I’ve had a God in my brain, I don’t recommend it” and him throwing out a bag of prescription pills he’s been popping. I guesss Loki’s mind control from The Avengers is having some residual effects, but I don’t know. Again, doesn’t really matter why.

Time to science.

Now that Thor and Loki are on the Dark World, they need to defeat Malekith and destroy the Aether. Loki breaks out some A+ trickery in the final 30 minutes here stabbing his brother and chopping off Thor’s hand as a ploy to catch Malekith off guard as he pulls the Aether from Jane. (This whole movie has a very X-Men 3: Dark Phoenix vibe to it and thats not a good thing.)  Except it doesn’t really work. Malekith takes the Aether and jets while Loki dies protecting Thor, or so we’re led to believe.

Stuck on this random Dark World with no way home Marvel introduces the most blatant deus ex machina that I’ve ever seen. Remember that random portal Jane and friends were throwing trash into in the beginning of the movie? Welp it’s a direct gateway from London to the random Dark World cave that Thor and Jane are in right now!

It’s not really until the end of the movie that I even understood what Malekith’s motives are and why the final battle is in London. Basically all nine realms are converging and when that happens it’s like a massive solar eclipse. It also gives him the opportunity to bring darkness (destroy?) all of the realms at once. Bringing it back to the heyday of the dark elves, who actually ruled the universe before Thor’s grandfather defeated them. Well the center point for this whole convergence is Greenwich, London.

I’m shocked they didn’t go with the Powerman 5000 soundtrack for the final scene of the movie when worlds literally collide.

Final battle between Thor and Malekith ensues. Thor defeats the bad guy and contains the Aether.

A nice twist at the end though as Thor goes to tell his father he will refuse the throne and as he walks away we see that it is actually Loki posing as Oden!

Mid credits scene: We are introduced to The Collector for the first time and it’s revealed that the Aether is in fact an Infinity Stone as Sif leaves it with him for safe keeping.

Post credits scene: Thor returns to London for some smooches. Thor will return.

Final Rating: 6/10

This movie isn’t bad per se, it’s just a bit nonsensical at times and overall forgettable. Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston’s likeability are the only thing that really redeem the movie because the plot is confusing, the villain is a faceless bore, and the motives of everyone involved are murky. But due to the brilliant rapport of Hemsworth and Hiddleston the movie is a decent way to kill 2 hours.

Up next in The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind is Captain America: The Winter Solider!

 

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Captain America: The First Avenger

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The300s MCU

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The first time I watched Captain America: The First Avenger, I had zero expectations. I was won over by Iron Man, disappointed by The Incredible Hulk, flat out angered by Iron Man 2, and bypassed Thor altogether. Hell, I didn’t even see this movie until two weeks before The Avengers hit theaters. The Avengers hype was in full swing at this point and I was struggling to get on board. Maybe this whole MCU thing just wasn’t for me? At the time I was living in Los Angeles with some friends and all we did was watch movies during the week, so eventually this was bound to be thrown on the TV some random night. I always enjoyed the work of Chris Evans, who at the time really wasn’t in a heck of a lot. I adored Sunshine (the highly underrated sci-fi thriller) and of course who could forget his starring role as Jake Wyler in the amazing Not Another Teen Movie (you did remember that was him, right?)

Captain America: The First Avenger is set in 1940s New York City and tells the story of Steve Rogers. Rogers, a Brooklyn native, has his heart set on joining the armed forces, but is consistently shot down based on his small physique and a laundry list of health issues. He attends the Stark Expo in Queens (as seen in Iron Man 2, albeit many years earlier) with his best friend Bucky Barnes. His plan there is to try once again to sign up for the military as he thinks by doing so there they’ll be a little more lenient on who they let in. Bucky, who is ready to ship out the next day, frowns upon Rogers idea and encourages him not to keep trying to enlist under different names, which he warns is highly illegal. Rogers expresses to Bucky just how badly he wants to join and feels he could be doing so much more for his country. Overhearing this conversation is Dr. Abraham Erskine (Stanley Tucci). Dr. Erskine approaches Rogers while taking his enlistment physical and offers him a “chance” at becoming something more.

Rogers then ships off to boot camp where he meets Colonel Chester Phillips and Agent Peggy Carter (the former played by Tommy Lee Jones and the latter Hayley Atwell). Agent Carter immediately takes a liking to Rogers and motivates him along the way while Colonel Phillips sees him as wasting his time. After a brief competition to show off his determination and character as an individual (a scene incredibly reminiscent of Will Smith in the beginning of Men In Black just without all the humor, and hey! Tommy Lee Jones was in that too!) Rogers is selected by Dr. Erskine to participate in the super soldier program that he’s been working on.

Rogers is transported to a secret facility in Brooklyn where many government officials are standing by to watch the experiment take place. Rogers is injected with a serum and placed in what could only be described as a coffin-looking chamber where he evolves like a Pokemon into the Captain America we all know and love.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmWLLempSyI

Unbeknownst to everyone in attendance, a Hydra agent has infiltrated the facility and sets off an explosion, devastating the lab and killing Dr. Erskine in the process. The devastation prevents further experiments from taking place, causing Rogers to be the only one of his kind. Convenient!

Meanwhile on the other side of the pond, Red Skull, the leader of Hydra, is testing weapons based off the technology of the Tesseract, aka the Space Stone of Infinity Stone fame. He plans to overthrow Hitler and the Nazis and take over the world himself. His weapons technology has the ability to vaporize people with a single blast!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cE8hO79bsOc

After the whole ordeal at the lab, Rogers is shunned by the military as some sort of science project gone wrong. He wants to help in the fight against the Nazis, but he is instead cast as the lead in a traveling stage show who’s purpose is to sell war bonds. Rogers is forced to wear a rather garish costume, a uniform he would later adopt into his Captain America persona. Rogers feels underutilized and wishes he could be making an actual difference. Agent Carter reminds him that she believes he is meant for more.

Rogers discovers his friend Bucky and his unit have been captured inside enemy lines. Against Colonel Phillips wishes, Rogers and a platoon of men go and rescue Bucky and his guys where they run into Red Skull, who narrowly escapes.

When they arrive back at the base, Phillips is incredibly impressed with Rogers and his whole attitude towards him changes. He learns to trust him as a leader and embraces him for the super soldier that he really is. Howard Stark then provides Rogers with the notorious shield Captain America fans have come to know and love. Rogers and his team go on to assault various Hyrda bases across Europe, but when the group attacks a train transporting Zola, Red Skull’s #2 henchman, Bucky falls to his death (well, not really, but we’ll get to that at some other point).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZq-dH0ymXw

After interrogating Zola, the final Hydra base is discovered and Rogers decides to take on Red Skull once and for all. He boards a plane that contains bombs designated for various cities across the United States. In the ensuing fight, the Tesseract is damaged and a portal is opened to space where Red Skull is sucked in before it closes for good. With time running out, Rogers is forced to down the plane to save the lives of millions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nxfP0d5EVQ

Flash forward 70 something years where Rogers wakes up in a “hospital room” that turns out to be a sound stage. Naturally freaking out and feeling something is off, Rogers flees and discovers he is in the year 2012 in the middle of Times Square. Nick Fury shows up just in time for the credits to roll.

I should probably go ahead and say I absolutely love this movie. It has the strongest plot, message, and cast out of any of the Marvel films at this point. The film felt like it served an actual purpose, unlike some of its predecessors. Doesn’t hurt that it was directed by Joe Johnston, of Jumanji, Honey, I Shrunk The Kids, and October Sky fame. So what did I like?

Chris Evans

He’s perfect for this role. They took a chance casting him and as I stated earlier, he really hadn’t been in a hell of a lot up until this point. Now obviously he’ll be known as Captain America forever.

Hayley Atwell

I adore Hayley Atwell for many, many reasons.

World War II Setting

I’m a sucker for all things World War II. It was a surprise considering we all knew The Avengers was on the horizon and I wasn’t really sure how it would line up without having Cap in a nursing home. The movie did patriotism well, without going completely overboard.

Captain America as a Franchise

While the MCU as a whole is awesome, my one complaint is that nothing aside from Infinity War/Endgame feels essential. We’ve been building for 11 years to a grand finale, yet each movie comes with the knowledge that there’s always a follow up film on the schedule. We’re constantly waiting to see what happens next while not giving enough merit to what’s currently on the screen in front of us. Think about it. Iron Man as a character is deeply loved by the community that enjoys these films, yet arguably there’s really only one good Iron Man movie. The sequels felt like filler, plagued with bad writing and just enough Tony Stark banter to distract us from realizing what we were watching wasn’t that essential. The Captain America films I would argue are the strongest standalone movies in the whole universe. They advanced the plot forward, yet are good enough to watch without thinking about what’s next in the queue. They also tend to have the most crossover with other characters from the universe. I mean, let’s be real, Civil War is an Avengers movie with a different title.

Final rating: 8.0 out 10.

Next up for The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind, The Avengers.

 

 

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Thor

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I remember I held off on seeing Thor until I had to no choice since it was a prerequisite for understanding the Avengers. Similar to when Iron Man first came out I had absolutely zero idea who the hell Thor was so I had pretty low expectations coming into this one. The story itself is a bit out there, but it presented the first opportunity for the MCU to really expand its grasp beyond that of Earth and it does it pretty well. It also does a great job of introducing SHIELD in a universal, nay galactic, role without totally shoehorning it into the movie. The highlight of the film though is definitely Chris Hemsworth, who was a complete unknown at this point, but became instantly enjoyable with his brash, aloof demi-god character.

Synopsis

Natalie Portman, Kat Dennings, and Stellan Skarsgård as Dr. Selvig are storm chasing, looking to unearth some type of astrological phenomenon, when they end up smoking an unidentified person with their van, who we learn is Chris Hemsworth falling from the sky.

An Anthony Hopkins voiceover explains the concept of life beyond Earth, officially introducing intergalactic characters into the MCU. The Frost Giants are introduced as the original big baddie with a weapon of mass destruction. This blue cube looks exactly like a lot of other colorful glowing cubes in the MCU, but this is *not* in fact an Infinity Stone. It’s actually The Casket of Ancient Winters.

(The first reference of an Infinity Stone in the MCU won’t be revealed until the end of this movie actually.) So as the Frost Giants tried to take over the universe, including Earth, Odin defeats them (and loses his eye in the process…just like his son would also do years later!) and returns home to Asgard with the ancient relic for safe keeping.

Years later Thor is on the precipice of being crowned the new king of Asgard and Loki is visibly bullshit. But, wait! Before Odin can officially say the words to make Thor king the Frost Giants have “somehow” snuck into Asgard and they want their blue cube back.

We also meet The Destroyer, who protects all of Odin’s dangerous toys and subsequently kills the Frost Giant intruders. Don’t sleep on this guy because he’ll be back.

Thor defies his fathers wishes and goes to Jotunheim, home of the Frost Giants, looking for answers and starts a big old battle. Key scene here shows one of Thor’s warriors getting burned by a Frost Giant, yet when Loki gets touched his skin turns blue and we see the wheels start to turn in his head. The battle goes on before Odin not surprisingly has to come rescue the crew before banishing Thor for disobeying him.

I have to say, in the beginning of this movie, Thor sounds an awfulll lot like Prince Joffrey now that I rewatch it.

Full of arrogance, mean, and just itching to start a war before Odin shuts him down.

Back to Earth.

Along with Thor Odin sends his son’s hammer, Mjolnir, to Earth saying only he who is worthy of its power will be able to wield the weapon. (Not you, Loki)

In a direct reference to Excalibur (the director has a fondness for Shakespeare and such), Thor’s hammer lands in the New Mexico desert and people come from all over trying to pull it from the ground before SHIELD quarantines the entire area.

Natalie Portman has all of her scientific research confiscated by SHIELD and now that her and Hemsworth are acquainted, Thor promises to give her all the answers she seeks if she drives him out to the crash site where Mjolnir currently sits.

We’re also introduced to Hawkeye for the very first time in this scene as Thor tries to fight through the SHIELD base to get his hammer back.

How about Jeremy Renner? Remember when he was tapped to be the next biggest movie star on the planet? He was in The Town, Thor, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, and the Avengers back to back to back to back. Thats four absolute heaters in a row he starred in before making the snooze fest that was The Bourne Legacy followed up by Hansel and Gretel. WHO IS HIS AGENT?

Unfortunately Thor comes to learn without his powers he is unable to lift Mjolnir, which is what finally breaks his spirit from the cocky warrior that he has been. Luckily Dr. Selvig talks his way into getting Thor out of SHIELD custody.

THIS IS WHERE THE MOVIE HITS THE WRAP IT UP BOX

Thor’s righthand men and women (Lady Sif and the Warriors Three) take the bifrost bridge and teleport to Earth as they look to bring back their rightful king, which Loki doesn’t appreciate so he send the Defender to Earth to destroy them all. Once Thor’s crew promptly gets their asses kicked, the Thunder God offers his own life to spare the others. His apparent death is the selfless act necessary to grant the return of his powers and Mjolnir. Thor then makes quick work of the robot from The Day the Earth Stood Still.

This is where things get a little confusing. Loki cuts a deal with the Frost Giants to let them into Asgard so they can kill Odin…so he can become king…I guess. Then despite opening the goddamn door for them, Loki kills the Frost Giant before it can kill Odin. A cunning trickster indeed.

Loki reveals his grand plan is to open up the bifrost to destroy the Jotunheim.

Huh?

His plan was to rescue his father and then wipe the Frost Giants out to earn his father’s respect and become the true heir. I think? By starting war and committing genocide, which Odin was openly against from the start of the movie and is exactly what got Thor banished in the first place.

I don’t know, this never gets explained very well.

I’m pretty sure the third act of this movie is used solely to set up Thor’s reason for even being around during the Avengers. To stop Loki, Thor is forced to destroy the bifrost.

Odin wakes up from his dirt nap and a defeated Loki lets himself fall from the broken bridge as we’re left to wonder where he went.

Apropos of Nothing:

Heimdall is still the best. It’s a shame how criminally underused Idris Alba was in the whole MCU.

Loki really is one of the best anti-heroes in comic book history. After learning of his Frost Giant heritage he flips out on Odin and gives us one of the most popular GIFs of all time:

The whole exchange gives Odin a heart attack and as he drops Loki cries out for the guards. Despite all the evil shit Loki does in the following movies, you can’t help but feel for the guy.

The Breadcrumbs of the MCU…

“I knew this scientist, the pioneer in gamma radiation. SHIELD showed up and he wasn’t heard from again.”

What Has Aged Well

The one liners still land remarkably well.

  • Thor walks into a pet store and yells “I need a horse.”
  • “That still doesn’t explain how he was able to tear through our defenses?”
    • “STEROIDS!”
  • “Is that one of Stark’s?”
    • “I don’t know, he doesn’t tell me anything anymore.”
  • Thor calling Agent Coulson “Son of Cole.”
  • Thursday = Thor’s Day

What Has Not Aged Well

It took me seven years to figure it out, but I finally realized why Chris Hemsworth looks so weird in Thor 1 compared to all of the other movies he’s in. They died his goddamn eyebrows for some reason in the first movie, but then never did it again.

Thor 1:

Avengers 1:

Thor 2:

Oh my god the product placement. I must have seen that 7/11 sign no less than 30 times.

Asgard has fucking TERRIBLE security as the whole realm gets invaded in 2/3rds of Thor’s standalone films.

The Frost Giants look a hell of a lot like the White Walkers. Thor came out a month after Game of Thrones officially premiered, so GoT technically got the jump. After 7 seasons of Thrones they have the icy blue look on lock.

Rating

Thor was the first pleasant surprise of the MCU. Iron Man was great, but we had literally zero expectations for that. Hulk was always a disaster so anything after the Eric Bana mess would have been good enough. Thor was the first MCU movie that I was actively not looking forward to at all. A space god with long blonde hair directed by Sir Kenneth Branagh, a guy best known for Henry V, Hamlet, and Shakespeare? Sounded like a recipe for a disaster, but ended up being very entertaining. Thor holds up surprisingly well seven years later and sets up the MCU to tackle stories beyond that of just Earth.

7/10

 

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