Tag: Philip Rivers

Philip Rivers Commutes to LA from San Diego in His $200K SUV. Wait, What?

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Yahoo – Rivers and his wife, Tiffany, decided not to uproot their family (they have eight children, ranging in age from 2 years old to high school freshman), for at least the Chargers’ first year in Los Angeles, with Rivers deciding to see how he could handle the ride. Enter his man cave on wheels. In a story by the San Diego Union-Tribune’s Kevin Acee, we learn that Rivers has invested in a custom SUV – a rolling film room, if you will – that will make his drive to and from work productive.

Hooold the fucking phone, wait a minute, the San Diego Chargers moved to Los Angeles this season, but apparently Philip Rivers did not move with them?

So this dude is making a 2-3 hour commute EACH WAY every day so he can continue to live in San Diego? My uncle’s girlfriend used to commute to Manhattan from fucking Pennsylvania taking planes, trains and buses to get there, but she wasn’t making $14 million per year. I’m pretty sure Phil could find a suitable home a little bit closer to his place of employment.

I guess if you’re a stubborn dude and just want to left alone at your house like we all do, might as well make the most of your commute. And creating an entertainment center to watch “game film” in the backseat ain’t a bad way to spend $200K.

I would love to get taxied to and from work every day, but I’m a poor person so I have to drive myself. But if I could sit in the back and ride along can you imagine the amount of time that would free up for me? I sure as shit wouldn’t be working from the backseat though, I’ll tell ya that. Really putting his ear to the grindstone during rush hour traffic. Phil’s prob just crushing episodes of Narcos back there. LOL celebrities, they really are just like us.

A Festivus Airing of Fantasy Football Grievances

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festivus

With Festivus coming up and after narrowly avoiding my first Sacko last night, I just wanted to take the time out for a proper Airing of Grievances for my once promising fantasy football team that went straight to hell. Below is the original team that took the field on Week 1; til death do us part.

QB1: Jameis Winston: The 13th scoring QB in fantasy this year. Look I’ve won titles with Donovan McNabb and Tim Tebow. QB was not the problem here.

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QB2: Philip Rivers: Traded him for a 2017 3rd round pick once my season was cooked. Draft board flexibility like you read about.

WR1: Alshon Jeffery: Decent stats, but was ultimately at the mercy of shithead Smokin Jay Cutler. Oh and ya know got popped for PEDs and missed 4 weeks down the stretch.

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WR2: Michael Floyd: – Shout out to my number 2 WR who can hold his booze just about as well as he can hold a football. On the verge of a breakout season in a top offense and he ends up with just as many drops as touchdowns (4) before being cut for getting a DUI. This was after cops found him piss drunk passed out at the wheel of his car in an intersection. Not to mention just 33 catches on 70(!) targets. Now, that is what I call Return. On. Investment.

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RB1 and KEEPER: Thomas Rawls: Coming off a beast finish to 2015 with 830 yards on just 147 carries for 5.6 YPC, Rawls was a sneaky steal with a 16th round pick as a keeper. Dude did break his leg though, which made it risky, but sometimes ya gotta race.


All the reports and draft experts pointed towards Rawls being ready for Week 1 and naturally he ran for a combined 25 yards in the first two games before ultimately missing EIGHT MOTHERFUCKING WEEKS. The guy didn’t put in a good game until Week 13. SAD.

RB2: Ezekiel Elliot: We good.

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TE: Zach Ertz: Solid first game. Dislocated a rib. Didn’t have a good game until Week 9. God damnit.

Flex: Allen Hurns: 22b933b11f8c0890c6e8a1efed1046fe3f99a3aa188dd315d89cbaeb74b5ae7b

Flex: Willie Snead: Some weeks I score 30 points. Other weeks I put up a goose egg. Enjoy the ride.

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6 Bench Spots:

(IR) Danny Woodhead: BEAST. But got hurt again and submarined any solid PPR flex options for me.

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Jeremy Langford: Oh just a *total* asshole. A starting RB with potential solely because of workload volume alone. So what’s he do? Suck, get hurt and lose his job. Another draft pick nailed.

(IR) Shane Vereen: Hurt and missed most of the season.

(IR) Josh Doctson: I *also* drafted Breshad Perriman last year who *also* missed his entire rookie season.

(IR) Braxton Miller: A dart throw who had exactly one game with more than 4 pts and ultimately wound up on IR. Brock Osweiler is radioactive to offense.

Kickers and defenses do not matter so I will not address them.

Final Record: 4-9 for an 11th place finish

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