Polygon – The film was first announced back in August; it began as an unsuccessful Indiegogo campaign in 2017. Mic reported on Wednesday that Pretending I’m a Superman ended up getting independent financing. Mic said the film “tracks how the broader skateboarding industry was in a perilous place in the early 90s,” and that the Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater games were a big part of mainstreaming the sport and lifestyle.
Sign. Me. Up.
For anyone around my age, Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater was a momentous video game when it first came out in 1999. Sports games were always fun, but oftentimes were more like managing a fantasy team than actually playing the sport. THPS made a game that was FUN to play and introduced an entire generation of kids, myself included, to skateboarding. Think about that for a second. A fringe sport that was traditionally a California burnout beach bum activity went mainstream because Tony Hawk tapped into something no one saw coming.
THPS came out in ’99, which is so long ago that I had it on my Dreamcast. I honestly doubt most of my younger coworkers would even know what a Dreamcast is if I mentioned it. This game should probably also be credited with getting an entire era of kids into punk rock and ska with an absolute banger of a soundtrack. It’s the first game I can remember playing that you actually looked forward to the music. In a way it created the blueprint for music in a game that the likes of NBA2K have adopted and still follow today. With tracks from The Dead Kennedys, The Vandals, and of course Goldfinger’s Superman, this game slapped.
THPS 2 doubled down on the soundtrack too with the addition of bands like Rage Against the Machine, Bad Religion, Papa Roach, Anthrax, and Powerman 5000, which I still have stuck in my head 20 years later.
This whole blog also just reminded me of the store-brand version of THPS; Dave Mirra Freestyle BMX. Am I the only one that played that game? Just doing double back flips on a bike while listening to Sublime and Peaches. Those were the days.
I am in a full blown tailspin of nostalgia today after hearing songs I haven’t heard in years. 1999 had some BANGERS from the wildly popular bands like Blink-182 to the groups people don’t like to admit they actually enjoy like Limp Bizkit to the one hit wonders like LIT. It was an awesome year for angsty kids. Lets take a look at SPIN’s 69 best songs of 1999 as I pick out the best songs I liked the most from the list.
1999 was a simpler time and was the absolute height of music videos. Record labels and it’s artists poured a shit ton of time and money into making these 4-minute movies so we’ve got highly produced vids to go with each song. Enjoy wasting the next 20 minutes of your day with me.
It probably helps that all of these songs came out in my most formative years, but a ton of them were also featured in the video games I played endlessly so these songs are burned into my brain. Featured at No. 34 on this list, remember Powerman 5000’s “When Worlds Collide”? No? How about now?
No. 65 – Smashmouth – “All Star”
Smashmouth really is peak 90s as they were poppy and bubbly, but still sang/rap about getting blackout drunk. All Star was a mega hit before becoming a legitimate meme after being featured on the Shrek soundtrack. Also, shoutout to Dane Cook making an apperance in the All Star video as he was the King of the early 2000s when he was a comedy god.
No. 30 – Sugar Ray – “Someday”
I’m still beyond jealous that Papa Giorgio has seen Sugar Ray in concert not once, but multiple times and has even received a high five from Mark McGrath.
No. 29 – Kid Rock – “Cowboy”
Before Lil Nas X made rapping about cowboys and country cool again, Kid Rock invented the entire style. Never forget the pioneer that Robert Richie was in the 90s.
No. 26 – Creed – “Higher”
Surprise of the century is that Scott Stapp is still touring. I saw he
No. 25 – Limp Bizkit – “Nookie”
I vividly remember how big of a deal it was when “Nookie” beat out the Backstreet Boys for the No. 1 spot on TRL. Holy shit do I feel old having just written that sentence.
No. 24 – The Offspring – “The Kids Aren’t Alright”
These guys vanished into thin air, but not after dominating MTV and becoming the soundtrack for basically every movie made in the late 90s/early 2000s like American Pie 2, Orange County, The New Guy, Tomcats, Idle Hands, Varsity Blues, and The Faculty. I challenge you to show me a better run from that era because you can’t.
No. 20 – Santana feat. Rob Thomas – “Smooth”
20 years later and this song still fucks.
No 18. – Beastie Boys – “Alive”
I feel like this will wind up being one of those groups that I opine about the older I get and the more I start to despise the popular music of today because the Beastie Boys changed the damn game.
“While it’s not as flashy or seminal as singles like “Intergalactic” or “Sabotage,” the understated majesty of “Alive,” from their two-CD anthology, showcases the consistent brilliance of the crew as talented MCs, feeding off each other like they share one brain.”
No. 16 – Sugar Ray – “Every Morning”
Absolute kings of 1999.
No. 15 – Blink-182 – “What’s My Age Again?”
So Papa Giorgio and I actually saw Blink twice in the span of a week back in senior year of college and its one of the few bands that I would ever do that. These guys have 20+ years of hits to pull from and I mean this in the best way, but it feels like you’re back in high school any time you throw them on. Unlike just about every artist on this list Blink has found their stride with excellent new music to ride out the second act of their career. They even remade the same goddamn video with a slight twist.
No. 14 – Korn – “Freak on a Leash”
Korn was a clear line of demarcation between kids in high school. Freak on a Leash was a banger, but it was definitely the single that crossed over because I was never a huge Korn guy until I heard this single. Even better though is the Korn rap crossover with Dem Franchise Boyz on “Coming Undone With It” because the early 2000s were a breeding ground for mashups that in theory sound like an abomination, yet somehow work.
No. 12 – Kid Rock – “Bawitdaba”
If you had the Kid Rock CD in middle school you were definitely already rolling blunts before you could drive. Dope song though.
No. 9 – Foo Fighters – “Learn to Fly”
Full disclosure, Foo Fighters is my favorite band of all time so I stan for Dave Grohl. Hell I had them on the Must Play List at my wedding. So I’m glad to see this song so high up on the list. If you haven’t seen the video of them playing this live alongside a thousand people simultaneously, stop whatever you’re doing and watch it right now. Incredible.
No. 8 – Red Hot Chili Peppers – “Scar Tissue”
I don’t know why, but the SPIN description of this song hit the nail right on the head.
“As with many great Chi Peps tunes, Frusciante provides a cover for all of the band’s worst instincts here: His guitar and background vocals manage to make Anthony Kiedis’ lyrical gibberish ring true and forlorn, transforming the track into a classic of late ’90s rock ballads.”
No. 7 – Lit – “My Own Worst Enemy”
I vividly remember the teenage, probably drunk, camp counselors blaring this on the bus every goddamn day at Summer Camp when I was a kid, which is probably why its worked its way into my brain and never left.
No. 5 – Fatboy Slim – “Praise You”
Not my favorite song to be honest, but you’re lying if you don’t *taste* 1999 when you hear this song.
No. 4 – Len – “Steal My Sunshine”
Another cringeworthy level of 90s nostalgia, this song was a massive hit in 1999, but probably wouldn’t get played anywhere other than Soundcloud if released today. Also, this video always creeped me out because the Canadian brother-sister duo just seemed a little too close. Even the front man didn’t love the album, but this song popped.“Some of it’s terrible. A lot of it’s terrible,” Marc said about Bum Rush, but hit single “Steal My Sunshine” was huge with fans and critics alike.
No. 3 – Eminem – “My Name Is”
Hi kids, do you like violence?
Massive Eminem fan here so shoutout to Marshall for making No. 3 on the ALT ROCK list as a rapper from Detroit. That my friends is what they call crossing over and I’m not talking about that shitty TV show where John Edward conned grieving people into believing he was talking to their dead relatives. But I digress, this along with The Real Slim Shady is when Eminem exploded onto the scene as the angry yet funny white guy who could rap better than anyone I’d ever heard. The Real Slim Shady video that doesn’t even try to hide the fact that its ripping on Tom Green, another MTV darling in 1999, probably didn’t hurt either.
No. 2 – Blink-182 – “All the Small Things”
I’ve already said my piece on Blink, but aside from the actual music these guys just knew how to make a video that would get played all day on TRL. This looks incredibly dated now, but it was massive at the time because it poked fun at the way too serious slo-mo boy band videos of the era.
No. 1 – Fiona Apple – “Fast As You Can”
Fiona Apple is the soundtrack for any movie scene where the main characters are strung out doing heroine, not the No. 1 alt-rock song of 1999. I reject this.
Anyways, you’re welcome for this trip down memory lane now excuse me while I go grab my chain wallet and slip into my JNCO jeans.
More than any other Marvel film, the first two Thor movies require so much explanation right out of the gates. Theres definitely a lot going on, but it’s never a great start when the first 5 minutes of the movie require an Anthony Hopkins voiceover to explain the background. Especially after we’ve already met Thor and the whole crew just 2 years prior.
I haven’t watched Thor 2 since I saw it in theaters in 2013. All I remembered about this movie was that all kinds of stuff got destroyed in London. Thats it.
Before we get into the review though I have to point out one thing. THANK GOD THEY FIXED THOR’S EYEBROWS. I mentioned it in my review of Thor 1, but it’s something that bothered me for a decade because I could never quite put my finger on what it was.
Thor 1
Thor 2
Okay now that thats been addressed we can move on amicably.
So we begin with Loki being sentenced to a lifetime of prison in the Asgardian tombs for his crimes in Thor 1 and The Avengers.
Thor drops into save the day on another battle that his team is fighting for some reason or another. Apparently after the bifrost was destroyed (its fixed now) all the other realms rebelled for some reason so the Asgardians are trying to get all nine realms to bend the knee once again. In a common theme in this movie, it doesn’t really matter why.
Back on Earth Jane (Natalie Portman) is in London investigating science stuff (again doesn’t matter why) when she stumbles upon a rift in dimensions of some sort. Gravity is all wonky and they discover a wormhole of sorts when they throw trash, bricks, and car keys into the portal only to have them disappear entirely. Jane then gets sucked into one of these wormholes and comes into contact with a dark force. Doing so appears to have awoken the Dark Elves that Thor’s grandfather banished so many years ago.
It’s only when Thor goes to talk with Heimdall and asks about Jane do they realize somethings wrong; Heimdall can’t see her. So Thor bombs down to London to check on her. When the cops show up and try to arrest Jane for trespassing she goes Super Saiyan and nearly blows the guy away. Unsure of what the hell is going on Thor takes her back to Asgard for help. Odin recognizes this dark force as the Aether, which his voiceover from the beginning of the film explains how the Dark Elves weaponized thousands of years ago.
“Their leader, Malekith, made a weapon out of that darkness, it was called the Aether. While the other relics often appear as stones, the Aether is fluid, and ever changing. It changes matter into dark matter, and seeks out host bodies, drawing strength from their life force.”
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Asgard has the absolute WORST security in all of the MCU. In each of the Thor movies a villain sneaks into Asgard somehow undetected and sets off an explosion. In. every. single. movie. In this instance, one of the Dark Elves poses as a prisoner being transported to Asgard Jail. Anddd about 10 minutes later this Dark Elf breaks out (with an explosion) and starts a full scale prison riot.
“It is as if they resent being in prison,” one of Thor’s warriors hilariously quips.
Heimdall spotting an invisible ship trying to sneak into Asgard and taking it down with a nothing but a couple of daggers is low key the best scene in the movie.
Thanks to the prison riot distraction the Dark Elf faux prisoner is able to knock out the Asgardian castle’s defenses so Malekith and his army can roll right up to the front door. He’s looking for the Aether, which currently lives inside Natalie Portman.
Now in return for helping hide Natalie Portman from Malekith, Thor’s mom is rewarded with a sword through the back. Thor chases Malekith and the dark elves out of Asgard. With their defenses destroyed Oden opts to wait for the intruders to return leaving Asgard and its people as sitting ducks.
Thor doesn’t exactly agree with his father and concocts a plan to use Jane as bait to draw Malekith out of hiding. With the bifrost closed and the Tesseract locked away, Thor needs a little help sneaking off Asgard.
Quick aside: Scottish actors have an absolute lock on these Viking roles as the Mrs. sniped Game of Thrones actor Clive Russell as one of Oden’s Asgardian generals, who is best known for playing the Blackfish.
I understand that Viking culture is Viking culture, but there are a lot of similarities to Game of Thrones in this movie. Welp, turns out the director of Thor 2, Alan Taylor, has also directed several episodes of Thrones. Small world.
Anyways, with a little help from Sif and the Warriors Three, Thor is able to get off Asgard alongside Loki and Jane.
Back on Earth: Another annoying thing about this movie is that Professor Erik Selvig is legitimately crazy the entire movie, running around naked at one point before getting arrested,
only to become completely normal again in the final act of the movie. The only explanation given is his quip “I’ve had a God in my brain, I don’t recommend it” and him throwing out a bag of prescription pills he’s been popping. I guesss Loki’s mind control from The Avengers is having some residual effects, but I don’t know. Again, doesn’t really matter why.
Time to science.
Now that Thor and Loki are on the Dark World, they need to defeat Malekith and destroy the Aether. Loki breaks out some A+ trickery in the final 30 minutes here stabbing his brother and chopping off Thor’s hand as a ploy to catch Malekith off guard as he pulls the Aether from Jane. (This whole movie has a very X-Men 3: Dark Phoenix vibe to it and thats not a good thing.) Except it doesn’t really work. Malekith takes the Aether and jets while Loki dies protecting Thor, or so we’re led to believe.
Stuck on this random Dark World with no way home Marvel introduces the most blatant deus ex machina that I’ve ever seen. Remember that random portal Jane and friends were throwing trash into in the beginning of the movie? Welp it’s a direct gateway from London to the random Dark World cave that Thor and Jane are in right now!
It’s not really until the end of the movie that I even understood what Malekith’s motives are and why the final battle is in London. Basically all nine realms are converging and when that happens it’s like a massive solar eclipse. It also gives him the opportunity to bring darkness (destroy?) all of the realms at once. Bringing it back to the heyday of the dark elves, who actually ruled the universe before Thor’s grandfather defeated them. Well the center point for this whole convergence is Greenwich, London.
I’m shocked they didn’t go with the Powerman 5000 soundtrack for the final scene of the movie when worlds literally collide.
Final battle between Thor and Malekith ensues. Thor defeats the bad guy and contains the Aether.
A nice twist at the end though as Thor goes to tell his father he will refuse the throne and as he walks away we see that it is actually Loki posing as Oden!
Mid credits scene: We are introduced to The Collector for the first time and it’s revealed that the Aether is in fact an Infinity Stone as Sif leaves it with him for safe keeping.
Post credits scene: Thor returns to London for some smooches. Thor will return.
Final Rating: 6/10
This movie isn’t bad per se, it’s just a bit nonsensical at times and overall forgettable. Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston’s likeability are the only thing that really redeem the movie because the plot is confusing, the villain is a faceless bore, and the motives of everyone involved are murky. But due to the brilliant rapport of Hemsworth and Hiddleston the movie is a decent way to kill 2 hours.
Up next in The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind is Captain America: The Winter Solider!
The 300s 