Tag: Ron Artest

Kyle Lowry Thought About Starting Malice at the Palace II Last Night (He Did Not)

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Last night the Raptors went up 2-1 on the Golden State Warriors in a wildly entertaining NBA Finals game, but late in the game Kyle Lowry dove into the front row for a rebound and some fan took it upon himself to try and give Lowry the business.

Lowry actually said on SportsCenter this morning: “He reached over & put his hands on me for no reason then he said a couple vulgar words to me & repeated them.”

Now I know Jeff Van Gundy is kind of the cooky grandpa at this point, but he had absolutely zero sympathy for Lowry.

To which I would agree with in a normal circumstance. Some 6’1″ dude diving into your lap would be problematic if you were just riding the T. But, this ain’t a normal circumstance. No you’re sitting courtside at the NBA Finals. You paid an EXORBITANT amount of money just to sit courtside for fucks sake. So for this guy to act shocked and disgusted when he wasn’t even the one who actually took the hit is preposterous. Lets look at the tape.

Its actually the lady in the yellow that takes the entire collision on the chin. Look at that. Look at where she starts and where she ends up.

Kyle Lowry comes flying in and we see the woman’s head go back..and to the left.

Back and to the left.

That lady got absolutely SMOKED and its this dickhead next to them in the blue polo who’s become rattled by the entire series of events. He’s basically Ari Gold without the witty one liners.

This old rich white guy is lucky Lowry didn’t just snuff him right then and there. I mean have people already forgotten about the Malice at the Palace??

That was a monumental event and will forever be the precise moment in time that historians point to as to why you never fuck with a professional athlete. Its one thing to call a guy a bum from the sidelines, its an entirely different thing to put your hands on him. Once you do that you’re on your own man. If you don’t remember Ron Artest, thats a you problem.

The BIG3 Just Announced Its Team Rosters and Boy Oh Boy They Are STACKED

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The BIG 3 is returning for its third season this summer and it seems to only be growing as it released their team rosters today and they are STACKED.

Just in case you forgot, we are quite fond of the BIG3 here. We even had Mattes go cover a game in person last year. And that was before they stacked the deck with some big time names.

Top names playing in the BIG3 this year include Kendrick Perkins and Greg Oden on the same team to create maybe the biggest “What if these guys never got hurt” duo in basketball history. The Celtics win 2 out 3 NBA titles, the Trailblazers are still one of the best teams in the league, going to war with KD and whatever team he’s playing for at the time.

Mario Chalmers!

Brian Scalabrine returns of course and should probably have equity in this league if he doesn’t already because the White Mamba puts asses in the seats.

Agent Zero himself Gilbert Arenas joins the BIG3 this season and I could not be more excited. Arenas, before all his gunplay problems, practically invented the 28 foot pull up jumper that is so common today. Where you think Damian Lillard learned that move?

Lamar Odom is returning from the grave/the clutches of the Kardashians to play some ball and you gotta think that guy is happy to just be alive at this point. Good for him.

Mike Bibby, Ricky Davis, and Carlos Boozer just seem like a pretty solid, well built team. Plus, if they get into any scuffles Mike Bibby 2.0 will just start beating people up as all he’s done since retiring is lift anything and everything.

Stephen Jackson and Metta World Peace are teaming up to become the bad boys of the league. Coached by the goddamn oak tree himself Charles Oakley no less. Nobody is messing with that team.

The Power will be a trip down elite bench player memory lane for anyone my age with guys like Corey Maggette, Chris Birdman Andersen, Ryan Gomes(!) and Glen Big Baby Davis who somehow avoided going to federal pound me in the ass prison after a drug arrest.

Jason Terry is also playing this year, which raises the question is Jason Terry finally retired orrrr

Nearly spit my drink out when I saw Terry pulling up for 3 in a game for Milwaukee last season.

Former Celtics draft picks Joe Johnson and Big Al Jefferson will be joining forces to be the favorite team of any Celtics fan over the age of 30.

To round it all out we have Jermaine O’Neal, Amar’e Stoudemire and Nate Robinson, but I have to say it is an absolute crime that Ice Cube doesn’t have Nate Robinson and Glen Davis on the same team. Does he not remember the days of Shrek and Donkey??

They even got legit AF names coaching as well with Gary Payton, Rick Barry, Rick Mahorn, Charles Oakley, Kenyon Martin, Lisa Leslie, and Dr. freaking J just to name a few.

How about the BIG3 being the only new sports league to not only avoid going out of business, yet actually thrive? The AAF went out of business before I even needed to refill my car’s tank of gas, the XFL is looking to improve upon its high score of 1 season completed, meanwhile the BIG3 is just adding teams and big time names left and right.

Maybe we’ll send Mattes back out to another BIG3 game this year with a real mic so he can actually get Scal namedropping The 300s Podcast on tape.