The XFL is Back! Lets Start Constructing Our Dream Team

“What would you do if you could reimagine the game of football?”

Vince McMahon always has been and always will be the ultimate showman. Oh that ill conceived football league I launched in 2001 that only lasted one season? Well guess what, we’re doubling down and bringing it back! Vince said he’s here to “give the game of football back to fans.” What does that mean? Nobody knows! But it sure as shit fuels the hype machine.

Vince made the announcement on Twitter dot com because he’s savvy like that before taking questions from reporters. Highlights from the #XFL2020 press conference below:

  • 8 teams, 40 man rosters, 10 game regular season, and a 4 team postseason with a Championship Game
  • “In the XFL the quality of the human being is going to be as important as the quality of the player.”(Soo you can sit down now, Greg Hardy.)
  • “There will be no crossover whatsoever of talent from the WWE.” (Thank god. Somebody get Gus Johnson on the line STAT.)
  • “As far as our league is concerned it will have NOTHING to do with politics and nothing to do with social issues….whatever our rules are, are what everybody will abide by….we’re here to play football.” (Sounds like Vince was not a fan of the kneeling.)
  • “It will just be a better game than what people are accustomed to.” (Sure!)
  • “There may not be a half time, sitting and watching a 3-3 1/2 hour game is laborious…we’re going to try to get to 2 hours.” (Now we’re talking.)
  • “Not sure about the individual of the He Hate Me…whether or not we do that we’re going to listen to football experts and what the fans want.” (If you don’t allow nicknames on jerseys don’t even bother, Vince.)
  • The season will begin at the end of January/early February (Fill that crippling void post-Super Bowl.)

So Vince was super dodgy about giving any actual details on the league, why he’s bringing it back, what exactly will be different etc. but it seems like he’s going to be giving himself more time to actually get something quality in place. Rather than rushing it, the XFL will begin play in 2020, so thats a 2 year window for Vince to get it together. Vince referenced the quality of play as the No. 1 thing that was lacking the first time around so we’ll see if 2 years is enough time to get some decent talent together.

I’m sure plenty of details and rumors will flood in over the coming days. But for now, lets get to whats really important. Whats my starting lineup for my first game in the XFL? This is assuming nobody is going to leave the NFL unless they hate money, so we’re going to have to dig deeper with some castoffs or guys that may be on their way out of the NFL.

  • QB1: Tim Tebow
  • QB2: Vernon Adams
  • RB1: Reggie Bush
  • RB2: Toby Gerhart
  • FB: Glenn Gronkowski
  • WR1: Terrell Owens
  • WR2: Ocho Cinco
  • WR3: Wes Welker
  • TE: Tim Wright

I had Money Manziel and Adrian Peterson penciled into my starting lineup, but then Vince dropped this line:

“You want someone who does not have any criminality whatsoever associated with them. In the XFL even if you have a DUI you will not play in the XFL so that would probably eliminate some of them…If Tim Tebow wants to play, he could very well play.”

So that probably eliminates Manziel, Peterson and basically half the available players out there. We’ll go with my guy Tim Tebow instead because they will let him do whatever the hell he wants. The first coach since Urban Meyers that will be willing to build an offense around Tebow. But in case he doesn’t want to leave his cushy job at ESPN/hitting cleanup for the Mets, then we’ll smuggle former Oregon QB Vernon Adams out of the CFL and let him do his damn thing. I cannot imagine anyone other than a running QB will have any success in the XFL.

Running the ball we’ve got old school thunder and lighting with my man Reggie Bush, who should have no problem carving up the scrub DII linebackers he’ll be playing against, and Toby Gerhart backing him up because…well…hey man slim pickings for running backs not on an NFL roster these days. The Pats have 5 running backs for christ’s sake.

We got Baby Gronk at fullback because how are you going to have the XFL without a Gronkowski in it?

Who are my go-to receivers? Easy. The first two guys I’m calling are T.O. and Ocho Cinco because ya just know those guys are rearing to go and would probably play for minimum wage at this point. T.O can still play, he’s just insufferable so nobody wanted him on their team….in the NFL. Then we got old reliable Wes Welker working the slot. Unless Vince is afraid of someone getting diagnosed with CTE in the first week of the season then he might not get cleared to play.

Then we got that bum Tim Wright playing TE because he’s another athletic freak that just has not been able to make it work in the NFL so to the XFL for you, Tim.

I’m sure theres plenty of names that will become available, but with Vince throwing a wrench into everything with his morality clause we could be seeing a lot of CFL or college players roaming the field.

2020 is so close, yet so far away. The XFL is back baby!

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2 Responses to The XFL is Back! Lets Start Constructing Our Dream Team

  1. Pingback: The Son of Dick Ebersol is Launching a Pro Football League to Rival the XFL | The 300s

  2. Pingback: The AAF Apparently Needed a $250M Investment Just to Make Payroll in Week TWO | The 300s

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