Today has been a nightmarish start to The Open for a whole bunch of household names at Royal Portrush. Tiger Woods is +7 and tied for 144th. Seeing as how he’s had more surgeries than Gronk and has a spine made of Adamantium, Tiger unsurprisingly doesn’t play as well in cool weather. Bad news because Ireland is pretty much permanently 60 degrees and rainy.

Tiger Woods is off the first tee at Royal Portrush. Little grimace after his drive. Not good. pic.twitter.com/Fm2aotBFO7

— Kyle Boone (@Kyle__Boone) July 18, 2019

Rory McIlroy is +8 and tied for 150th. Oh and Rory had a QUADRUPLE bogey on the first fucking hole.

Here’s Rory McIlroy’s absolutely brutal three-putt for double bogey from close range at 16.

Don’t try this at home. #TheOpen pic.twitter.com/Mk5bCI8Kyc

— Golf Central (@GolfCentral) July 18, 2019

Rough start for Rory who may be gripping the clubs a little tight playing in front of his countrymen.

Tiger Woods when he meets Rory in the clubhouse later #TheOpen pic.twitter.com/hNzq9pewQ5

— BenchWarmers (@BeWarmers) July 18, 2019

Oh and David Duval had an absolute meltdown on Day 1 with a 14 on the 7th hole. The former Open champ and No. 1 golfer in the world actually set a record for the worst Open round in 69 years. Yikes.

So yes, the first round of The Open has put a beatdown on pretty much everyone. Everyone except my fantasy team. Yes in my infinite wisdom I rolled with studs like Brooks Koepka (-3), John Rahm (-4), Jason Day (-1), Tommy Fleetwood (-3), and my guy Kiradech Aphibarnrat (-3). This squad of killers has me currently tied for 4th place in my fantasy pool.

Naturally I forgot to double dip my lineup in some sweet, sweet DraftKings action, but hey I could definitely use the free green fees and cart fees that go along with winning my fantasy pool. Now I just have to sweat it out for the next 3+ days.