Tag: Subway

The Bill Belichick Subway Commercial Has Finally Arrived

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The internet was set ablaze about six weeks ago when Belichick was spotted filming a commercial for sandwiches and I’ve been counting the days since waiting for the finished product. Pretty good. It’s got Bill’s trademark dry, deadpan humor, but as the great Will Hunting once said: “So what’d I think? I’m holding out for something better.”

I need to see the second version or the directors cut of this commercial with Belichick going HAM on a cold cut combo.

We will not rest until that footage sees the light of day, but maybe they’re just saving it for behind the scenes footage in the next Super Bowl champs DVD?

Bill Belichick Eats Three Every Day to Help Keep Him Strong

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Let me just sit here and enjoy the one thing that makes me a little bit happy…this fresh, delicious, tasty, meaty, turkey-filled…Cold Cut Combo. I eat three every day to help keep me strong.

No. Days. Off.

Unless that day off includes a delightful afternoon on a park bench crushing a 5 dollar footlong. What’s Bill’s go to sandwich? It’s gotta be something efficient, not too exotic, but probably a great value loaded up with veggies. No bacon because thats like a flashy WR thats overpriced and doesn’t ever actually help you win the Super Bowl. My official guess is an Italian BMT with everything on it.

In all seriousness though I am waiting with bated breath to see the finished product of this commercial. It could literally just be Bill sitting on a bench with no music, no voiceover, no context. Just Bill housing a sub on a bench for 20 seconds as the Subway logo fades in. I mean, hell I’m craving a sangwich right now. Brilliant marketing.

And no, I can’t go more than a couple of days without making a reference to a 24-year-old Adam Sandler movie.

LeBron Rides the Subway Like an Asshole

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Celebrities, they’re just like us! This is like when some fashion company started selling ripped, beat up, paint splattered jeans for like $800 dollars and Mike Rowe called it a “blue collar costume for rich people.” Thats exactly what LeBron riding the subway is. Its his Halloween costume as he pretends to be a poor person like the rest of us. Laughing it up for the Gram and posting pics with all his buddies while everyone just wants to get to their miserable jobs and back without getting stuck on a broken down train or being harassed by a heroin addict.

Enter the normal guy with his headphones in just looking to get home without ending up on the wrong end of a World Star knockout video. LeBron is documenting his time on the subway and this guy is NOT having it.

The subway is no place for fun, which is why I’m surprised more pan handlers singing and dancing in the middle of subway cars don’t get absolutely mauled by some angry guy that just got shitcanned from his 9-5. Moral of the story? Keep your head down and your headphones on while riding public transport or risk taking your life into your own hands. Public transport is not for the faint of heart.