Last year I went on the hunt for a golf game actually made this century since as we all know Tiger Woods PGA Tour hasn’t been a thing in years. Luckily I stumbled on to The Golf Club 2019, which is a pretty solid game as well as a very realistic round of golf.
It can be a little too realistic at times though and just as frustrating as actual golf is sometimes. Think Lee Carvallo’s Putting Challenge.
So I would like something a little more casual as it pertains to the laws of physics. Hell I’d love a new Mario Golf platform game, which Nintendo has kept locked away in its IP vault since 2003 for some reason.
Well out of nowhere 2K sports just announced they are coming out with PGA Tour 2K21! Talk about some much needed good news during this never ending quarantine. This is huge because despite its solid gameplay, one of the biggest drawbacks to The Golf Club 2019 is that it doesn’t have the full PGA license so there are only a couple of real courses and zero real golfers in the game. Well PGA Tour 2K21 seems to have no such issues as the teaser shows off the gorgeous 17th green island at TPC Sawgrass.
PGA Tour 2K21 will actually be developed by HB studios too, which is the group that made The Golf Club 2019. 2K teased the fact that more info will be released next week. So help me God if this game isn’t coming out real soon because without actual golf or actual anything happening right now, I think we are all going a little stir crazy.
Take my $60 right now and let me and Brooks Koepka CRUSH the competition as we go for the Tiger Slam.
Kotaku – “Rockstar’s leaders have told employees that they hope to mitigate crunch on the next big project by improving their technology pipelines and planning out more of the game’s beats in advance…One plan that management has laid out for the next game, a new entry in the Grand Theft Auto series, is to start out with a moderately sized release (which, by Rockstar’s standards, would still be a large game) that is then expanded with regular updates over time, which may help mitigate stress and crunch.
But there’s a catch: Rockstar’s next big project is still early in development.“
As we all look for anything to distract us from the endless days and nights spent at home, a new Grand Theft Auto game wouldn’t hurt. Especially when you consider the last one came out in 2013 as the PS4 was just hitting shelves. The above Kotaku article is a great look into the dysfunction that was rampant at Rockstar including mental hours for everyone working on these games. So the company underwent a huge cultural change, including lightening up the workload for employees. Good for them, not so much for us man boys. Apparently the next Grand Theft Auto is only in the “early stages of development.” Even worse, Rockstar is allegedly considering first coming out with “a moderately sized release” for GTA VI and then adding to it over time. Well I hope they are selling the game for a “moderately sized price” too then. Theres nothing worse in video games than micro transactions and for better or worse Rockstar has written the goddamn book on them with GTA Online. So this doesn’t sound all that farfetched unfortunately.
I’ve read about the horror stories of crunch to get these massive games done and the burnout from developers, but Grand Theft Auto V *alone* has sold over 120 million copies, become the “most profitable entertainment product of all time,” and has generated over six BILLION dollars in revenue. So I don’t want to hear about the workload of the developers. Hire more employees you cheap fucks.
I’m sorry for snapping at you Rockstar, but we’re in the middle of a quarantine so this is not the type of news I needed to hear right now. It’s already been seven years since GTA V came out. Thats bananas. Granted these games have grown exponentially in size and scope, but that wait time is unheard of. There was 1 year between GTA 3 and Vice City, 2 years between Vice City and San Andreas, 4 years between San Andreas and GTA IV, and 5 years between GTA IV and GTA V. So obviously the wait times have increased as the games have become monstrous creations, but we’re already 2 years behind schedule and the game’s not even close to being done.
But if you’re really craving any type of GTA content to avoid working, here’s an hour long movie on the history of the franchise.
As much as we blog about the Bruins, and the Patriots, and grown men beating the hell out of each other in the octagon; at the end of the day I am an unabashed nerd. You may have picked up on that from the 20+ Marvel movie reviews we did this year or the 2,500 word dissertations on each Game of Thrones episode. Well, the highlight of every nerd’s year was this week with the annual E3 Convention showcasing all the latest and greatest in the world of video games. The Electronic Entertainment Expo is something on my bucket list as I’ll need to make the mecca to Cali for this event one year. Without further ado, here’s everything you may have missed from the conference.
Halo Infinite
I’ve had an on again off again relationship with Halo over the years due to its platform exclusivity. Back in the days of the original Halo I was a PS2 guy so I would play in my buddy’s dark basement with the chunk black controller. Then I got an Xbox360 and played Halo 1/2 remastered and Halo 4 (3 got lost in the shuffle). Then I moved onto PS4 out of spite after I got the red ring of death so I have not played a Halo game in a minute. So needless to say I don’t know what the hell is going on here, BUT if this game continues to look as awesome as it does already, I could be tempted to pick up the Xbox 5 or whatever the hell Project Scarlett name they ultimately call it.
Platform: Xbox One, Project Scarlett
Release Date: Holiday 2020
Final Fantasy VII Remake
I didn’t get into Final Fantasy until FFX, but obviously FFVII is one of the most popular games of all time. This remake is something they have been talking about for YEARS with it first being announced back in 2015. So while I’m not particularly hyped for it, it looks beautiful and is a great opportunity for people like me to play a classic updated.
Platform: PS4
Release Date: March 3, 2020
Marvel’s Avengers
This is a game that I’ve been very cautiously optimistic about because its a perfect concept for a video game, but there have been so so many bad superhero video games over the years. I know Spider-Man was a massive hit last year and the recent Batman games have been well reviewed, but I still cringe just thinking about the old N64 Superman game or anything that has to do with the Hulk. Theres been next to no information available about this game, but we got our first trailer at E3 this week and I like what I’m seeing. Sure it looks a little wonky because the studio didn’t want to pay the licensing rights to use the actual actors, but other than that it looks pretty awesome so far. What’s most exciting about this game is that we’ll have an ever expanding roster of Marvel characters allegedly. I don’t believe the Marvel movie rights of who they could and couldn’t use applies to video games, but even if they did, don’t forget that Marvel just re-acquired the X-Men. Plus they don’t have to worry about the overarching movie storylines so we could get characters like the Punisher, Daredevil and maybe Deadpool dropping in? But that might be something they tackle in Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3 instead…
Platform: PS4, Xbox One, Stadia, and PC.
Release Date: May 15, 2020
Pokemon Sword and Shield
Everything you thought you knew about the world of Pokémon is about to change…in a big way.
Here’s the latest on the exciting new adventure that awaits in #PokemonSwordShield!
This is something I am stoked for as I haven’t bought a Pokemon game in years, but have been quietly watching from the sidelines. I basically got to a point where I refused to buy another iteration of the Game Boy (because I’m an adult damnit) so I have been waiting, and waiting, for Pokemon to finally enter the world of 3D open world platform gaming. That has arrived with the introduction of Sword and Shield. Not to mention they’ve got a gigantic direwolf looking dog with a sword in its mouth? Just take my money right now.
BEND THE KNEE TO YOUR ONE TRUE KING, KEANU REEVES. I have to say I’m a bit of a Keanu hipster since I’ve been pumping his tires since I first saw The Matrix in 1999. The Matrix, Point Break, and John Wick are some of my favorite movies. It seems like out of nowhere Keanu has become the most beloved man in America and I totally get it (especially with all the stories of his generosity), but it is weird to see a guy I’ve been stanning for years all of a sudden become a mega celeb. Anyways, Cyberpunk looks pretty sweet. Its important to note that this footage shows exactly *zero* gameplay so lets not get too excited. We’ve all fallen for that too many times with Fallout 76, Destiny, Anthem, and No Mans Sky that show incredible hype footage only to release a subpar game.
Platform: PlayStation 4, Xbox One
Release Date: April 16, 2020
Fallout 76 (again)
Speaking of the most panned game of the year, Bethesda is doubling down on the half-assed cash grab they put out last year. For a franchise as beloved as Fallout that relies on single player experiences, open world exploration, character development, and in depth storylines to release a multi-player online only skeleton of a game was heresy to most fans. Well Bethesda said how about we add a battle royale Fortnite mode! Guys lets just accept the L and start working on Fallout 5.
Platform: PS4, Xbox One
Release Date: Coming soon…
Dragonball Z: Kakarot
I’m 30 years old and I still love Dragonball Z. Hell I’ve even debated getting a DBZ tattoo, so needless to say I will be picking up this little gem. Dragonball games have been pretty hit or miss over the years and Dragonball Fighter Z looked pretty slick, but I couldn’t see myself playing a side scrolling fighting game for that long. So for an RPG that looks awesome though and focuses on the storylines that we all (read: I) remember so fondly? Swipe. Swipe.
Platform: PS4, Xbox One
Release Date: Early 2020
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild [unnamed sequel]
LETS GOOO. Breath of the Wild is truly one of the greatest games of all-time. It created a massive open world that you could literally do anything and everything. Infuriatingly frustrating at times, but fun as all hell once you figured out what you were doing. So to hear about a direct sequel to the first open world Zelda game has me sweating. I had heard rumors that Nintendo was going to re-use the Breath of the Wild engine so they could pump out a sequel quicker, which I am more than ok with. Use the exact same mechanics, reskin the game to create some new maps and environments, and give us some new storylines and we are in business. Unfortunately there was no release date given whatsoever so this game could be a ways off…
Platform: Nintendo Switch
Release Date: Currently “in development”
The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening
I missed a lot of the earlier Zelda games as I was a bigger Sonic, Mortal Kombat, and Pokemon guy before getting baptized by fire with Majora’s Mask. So games like Link’s Awakening were never really on my radar, which was originally a Game Boy title. The graphics of this updated version are gorgeous and the gameplay is clever as hell where it gives you the same Game Boy birds eye view with an updated flair. Very excited to check this one out.
Platform: Nintendo Switch
Release Date: September 20, 2019
Luigi’s Mansion 3
This is another franchise I missed entirely since I never had Game Cube or Wii. I’m still shocked that Nintendo hasn’t opened up an e-shop to download, or at the very least rent, some of their former classics. I know they did it on Wii and as Papa G says, Nintendo basically just tricks people into buying the same game 4 times. While I did miss the first two Luigi Mansions, I’m sure I’ll be able to figure it out. Either way this looks like another entertaining Nintendo romp and gives Luigi some much deserved shine.
As it turns out, I have zero brand loyalty when it comes to gaming consoles. I might be the only guy you know that had a Dreamcast. What systems did you have?
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But, this dude flipping the fuck out reminded me of the GOAT Madden meltdown I witnessed in college. I was playing my roommate and I was feeling myself so I picked a shittier team, knowing it would drive this kid up a wall if I took it to him with the 2008 Raiders.
You know the unbeatable 2008 Raiders that went 4-12 behind stud No. 1 overall pick, and my boy, JaMarcus Russell. If there ever was a guy built for a fucking video game it was this dude. Absolutely awful in real life, but in a video game he had an absolute cannon and he could run his balls off. Thats all I need boys.
So in case you forget just how truly shitty this team really was back in 08, here was the starting skill position players:
QB: JaMarcus Russell
RB: Darren “Run DMC” McFadden
WR: Javon Walker, Chaz Schilens, Ashley Lelie, Johnnie Lee Higgins, Ronald Curry
TE: Zach Miller
Not exactlyyy Murderers Row, but the Raiders did also have Nnamdi Asomugha before he fell off a cliff and DeAngelo Hall patrolling the secondary. (Thats called foreshadowing guys)
So anyways, I am scoring *at will* on QB scrambles out of the shotgun, HB screens, and 70 yard bombs in the air. If JaMarcus Russell saw how much better he was in Madden than in real life I think he might actually kill himself. But to top it all off the Oakland defense is smothering my roommate with interception after interception after interception. My roommate is fucking BOILING and I’m not a huge trash talker so I’m just waiting for the straw to break the camel’s back.
Well that would come in the form of my SEVENTH interception of the day, which also happened to be a pick-six that put me at 70+ points on the afternoon…in the 3rd quarter.
“FUCK THIS GAME!”
Roommate stands up and absolutely Gronk spikes the $50 PS2 clicker into the fucking floor. Let me tell you, I have never seen a piece of hardware fly into so many pieces as that Playstation clicker did. We had to have a closed casket funeral for that PS2 clicker.
And that my friends is why you don’t stream yourself playing a game of Madden because we are all one bullshit play away from rifling a clicker through the goddamn window.
As I mentioned on this very blog not too long ago, the Celtics basically backdoored their way onto the cover of the biggest basketball video game in the world with the Kyrie Irving trade. So it should come as no surprise, but its still awesome to see Celtics green prominently featured in another excellent 2K trailer. Seriously, is this the only league that knows how to market a video game with music? Anyways, some of the highlights:
And yea, this one definitely hurt. Gonna suck seeing IT check what time it is with fucking LeBron yucking it up next to him.
The 300s 