Tag: Zoolander

But Seriously, Have People Been Paying Attention to Kyrie Irving’s Shoe Game?

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I have become fascinated with sneaker culture over the past couple of years, mainly with the supply and demand of hot new releases. It started with Yeezys. Despite the fact that the majority of Kanye’s clothing line is essentially Derelicte; a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique.

Despite that, Yeezy sneakers are actually fire flames. At least the Yeezy Boosts…some of the other Yeezy sneakers look like they came out of the Steph Curry “Dad has to mow the Lawn 7’s” batch.

Kanye releases his sneakers a few times a year with enough to supply to nearly outfit a small high school. AKA not many. So its damn near impossible to get the shoes unless you buy on the secondary market for an exorbitant mark up, which I refuse to do. Defeats the purpose. It’s basically become a game. Find all the retailers that are going to have any Yeezys, what online outlets will have them, what contests you can enter, and then when Saturday morning arrives, open up 2 laptops, 2 iPhones, and a tablet and enter the online waiting room. I have yet to actually get past that goddamn waiting room to, ya know, buy a pair. But hey thats half the fun, battling the bots and other sneaker nerds to try and score some rare sneakers.

*whispers* I’ll see you September 21st

ANYWAYS, back to the blog about Kyrie and the hot, hot, heat he’s been wearing recently.

An injured man does not walk around with custom Lucky Charms sneakers. No this is the move of a man so cocky, so confident, he is just counting the days until the season starts so he can resume his reign as commander of the only NBA team that can legitimately claim “I got next.”

Only an asshole would sell shoes based on a children’s cereal out of the standard orange box by the way. Nay, you need something a little more elaborate than that.

The man legitimately released a “Cereal Pack” of sneakers with other kinds of breakfast snacks like Cinnamon Toast Crunch as the inspiration.

Hell, if you wanna go really meta, Kyrie even dropped his own Kix kicks.

Gotta have your Wheaties too, kids.

This is actually a sequel to some of the Celtics specific sneakers Kyrie was rocking last season.

So keep doing your thing Kyrie, and if you’re feeling generous The 300s is not against accepting donations in the form of shoes, because as the wise Deion Sanders once said:

LeBron James Is Crying Because People Like Steph Curry More

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Business Insider – Though Stephen Curry has undergone a somewhat sudden rise to one of the NBA’s most popular players and the league’s first unanimous MVP, he apparently has work to do within the league. According to Marcus Thompson of Bay Area News Group, author of the newly released “Golden: The Miraculous Rise of Steph Curry,” Curry is not all that popular with some of the league’s biggest stars, including LeBron James.

This is some straight up Mean Girls shit. People rag on for LeBron for a lot of things. Some fair, some not so much. But, if this is true and LeBron and other guys around the league are pissy because Steph Curry is getting too much shine? Cry me a river dude. Steph basically reinvented the 3 pointer by draining shots from everywhere on the court. Consistently. Its not like the guy hasn’t ever won a title either. So its no wonder the guy gets a lot of hype.

Steph, you want LeBron and his flunkies to accept you? Well on Fridays they wear pink so shape up.

If you wanna clown on Steph Curry for something, make it the ugly ass shoes he puts out. Twitter engulfs in flames every time Steph drops a shoe now because people can’t wait to meme the latest Dad Bod 7’s.

The NBA is a meritocracy. Simple as that. If you suck then you won’t get the shine. If you are a transcendent player then you will “leapfrog” other guys. Especially aging stars. Pipe down Chris Paul. You’ve had about 85 State Farm commercials over the past few years. You’re not exactly getting put out to pasture.

Plus people like Steph because he’s relatable. He’s not an athletic freak, he’s not a 6’8″ man-child that can play all 5 positions on the court. He’s a pretty unassuming dude who dominates with incredible outside shooting and a great handle. People can relate to that. Everyone loves to watch LeBron, he’s one of the greatest players of all time. But he’s an absolute once in a generation athletic specimen who’s been that way since he was 15. People can’t relate to that.

Fucking Mugatu over here is bullshit because people like Steph more than him. I’VE BEEN TO SIX STRAIGHT FINALS. I INVENTED THE PIANO KEY NECKTIE!

Remember Theo Epstein, the Guy the Red Sox Forced Out? Yea, He Was Just Named the World’s Greatest Leader

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ESPN – Theo Epstein is the world’s greatest leader. So said Fortune magazine, which published its annual list on Thursday morning. The Chicago Cubs’ president of baseball operations finished in the top spot, ahead of Alibaba founder Jack Ma. Pope Francis at No. 3, Melinda Gates at No. 4 and Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos rounded out the top five.

Thank GOD the Red Sox won the World Series in 2013 because otherwise this shit would be straight up demoralizing. Not only has Theo Epstein taken a perennial dumpster fire of a team that used to routinely top 100 losses a season and turned them into the BEST team in baseball, but now he’s been crowned the World’s Greatest Leader by Fortune.

Dude beat out Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and the Pope. Theo Epstein beat out the motherfucking Pope. The Red Sox forced that guy out. All because Larry Lucchino, who has since been put out to pasture, wanted to have a dick measuring contest with the young blood. Because the guy who doesn’t even work here anymore wanted to feel important, we let legitimately the best baseball executive of our generation slip through our fingers.

Larry Lucchino calling all the shots because he helped build a cool ballpark down in Baltimore. Lucchino was a straight up real life version of Mugatu. “I INVENTED CAMDEN YARDS.”

Theo, a guy who grew up in BROOKLINE, who dreamed of working for the Red Sox did just that, then helped construct 2(!) championship teams and then was shown the door. How does that happen?

And now he’s the World’s. Greatest. Leader. Good. I hope that makes John Henry puke on his 50 fucking foot yacht.

The Red Sox did not immediately respond when asked to comment.

Holy shit imagine if the Sox did not have that miracle run to win the World Series in 2013? There was the absolutely epic collapse of 2011, the chicken and beer fiasco, the downright shameful smear campaign of Terry Francona, the Bobby Valentine abortion of an experiment, followed by 3 last place finishes in 4 years. That is a dark, dark period if not for that title they somehow shoehorned in there. And Theo is probably laughing like a bastard right now out in Wrigleyville counting his $10 million a year salary.

If one of the highest spending teams in baseball could only somehow get their hands on a young stud executive the Sox would be set for a generation.

God damnit.