Red Sox

If You Pay $1,000 for an iPhone X You are a Sheep

TechCrunch – Ten years ago, the world got much bigger and much smaller, all in one fell swoop. Steve Jobs introduced the iPhone, the first internet-connected smartphone that put user experience above all, finally executing on the idea of a full touchscreen handset. This ushered in the rise of constant social networking, an application economy, and a complete dependence on our smartphones for just about everything. Today, Apple has introduced the iPhone 8 and iPhone 8 Plus. But in true Apple fashion, Tim Cook promised us “one more thing.” Today, ten years later, Apple is introducing the iPhone X. And, by the way, it’s pronounced “Ten.”…The iPhone X starts at $999 for the 64GB model, with a larger 256GB option. Pre-orders begin on October 27 and regular sales begin November 3, just in time for the Holidays.

$999 for a cell phone? Are you out of your fucking mind? Let me say this loud and clear. If you pay $1,000 for the new iPhone then you my friend are a sheep.

They even created an annual subscription model for sheep like you with the option to upgrade EVERY TIME a new iPhone comes out. I got my first iPhone in 2013 and have had all of one other iPhone since then. Two phones in nearly 5 years. Now mine weren’t exactly free, but come the fuck on.

I guess Apple released the iPhone 8 and the iPhone 8 Plus today too? Then immediately kicked the legs out on their own product and introduced the iPhone X.

And, by the way, it’s pronounced “Ten.”

Of course it is.

But its got facial recognition! Don’t care. No home button! Don’t care. Wireless charging? Apple can’t even get wired charging to work half the time. You know how many times I wake up and my phone thats been plugged into the wall all night is at 20% battery?

I’m just about ready to go back to my Razr flip phone. (That was THE hottest phone on the streets in 7th grade) If I weren’t so goddamn addicted to checking Twitter every 5 minutes I would go straight up nuclear winter. Send me a page and I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m by a payphone.

But since these phones don’t really make dramatic improvements with every iteration here is my advice: Buy an otterbox so you can just beat the shit out of your current overpriced pocket computer and hold onto it for a bit. Save your money for more sensible purchases, like Yeezys.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s