The 300s Bloggers’ Lois Einhorn Edition Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 10

Farewell, sweet prince.

Just like that our favorite underdog has been jettisoned from the ranks of professional football. Needless to say, Nathan Peterman had possibly the worst series of spot starts in the history of the game, if not in the history of sports. Poor guy just could not get out of his own way. He’d flash some semblance of ability one play and then on the next one hit a DB in the chest for a pick 6. Fucking brutal to watch.

So with his run in Buffalo finally over, I see a full-scale Lois Einhorn situation developing here. Peterman will masquerade as some sort of female public figure in a long-con scheme aimed at extracting revenge against the world that so openly mocked and derided him. It’s coming people.

So how’d we all do this?

Red

We had a goddamn barn burner this week. Down 37 points heading into Monday Night Football I completely checked out and went to play some beer league softball like all athletes past their prime do. Matt Breida had the game of his life with two TDs and 26 pts and Sterling Shepherd chipped in with 10 of his own. So I was down by less than 5 with a minute to go with the 49ers driving. All I needed was Breida breaking a screen for a big gain or maybe punching it in from the 1! So. Much. Hype. Andddd Breida wasn’t even on the field for the final drive.


Mattes

You know when things get so bad it’s almost comical? Check this shit out.

My 1-8 team was taking on the team that is *now* in first place. After a pretty solid, 130-plus-point performance across the board, I was up comfortably heading into Sunday night with two guys left to play – Amari Cooper for me and Zach Ertz for him. Ertz then goes off for the greatest game of his life – in a game his team still loses, mind you – and I lose by 0.78. ZERO-POINT-SEVEN-FUCKING-EIGHT. Sure, my season’s already over, but it would’ve been cool to see my abortion of a team take down one of the best in the league. But again, it’s just not my year.

AND THEN – in the league that actually matters – I got unreal performances from DJ and Aaron Jones (I told you guys to grab him two weeks ago!), but the Buffalo Bills decided to somehow actually be good at football this week, and the Jets defense got me -7. NEGATIVE SEVEN. It all came down to Monday night: I was leading by 13, and all he had left was San Fran’s kicker. And guess how many points San Fran’s kicker got? Did you say 13??!! GOOD FOR YOU! I TIED and am now hanging on by a pube to a chance at the playoffs. (OH, and that last field goal Gould had was EXACTLY 30 yards; were it just one yard shorter, I would’ve won.)

I don’t know what I did to piss off the fantasy gods this year, but COME ON, MAN.

Joey B

I won a Goddam UGLY one but I won all the same. Another two excellent performances from James Conner and Michael Thomas allowed me to squeak by equally anemic opponent 91-84, and no, we didn’t forget to sit someone on a bye, etc.

Papa G

Lost in 2 out of 3 leagues this week. It’s getting down to the wire as i’m a borderline playoff team in all my leagues now. Fournette returning has seriously helped though and my bench is becoming useful again, not just a sea of RBs on IR. I’m going to need Aaron Rodgers to step it up though as i’m not getting the production I would have liked from him. I guess we’ll see how this plays out.

Side note: fuck the Jets. Bills Mafia for life.

Big Z

The Z-Men made it four wins in a row in Week 10 with a one-point victory, and led the league in points for the third straight week. You never want to lose with the second-highest points total for the week. That’s when furniture gets broken.

Christian McCaffrey led the way for my squad again this week with 31 points, but Eric Ebron was my MVP. He was game-time decision Sunday. I left him in and he rewarded me with three touchdowns. George Kittle was my closer, and his 83 yards Monday night was just enough to get me the one-point win.

Not a bad turnaround! Just hoping not to peak too soon. Again.

 

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About Joey Ballgame

I'd like to take this chance to apologize to absolutely nobody. Views from the 617. Primarily MMA and pop culture takes from down in the rabbit hole. Sports straight out of left field.
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