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Dave Dombrowski is Playing Fast and Loose With the English Language to Cover His Ass if Red Sox Falter

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So the MLB trade deadline was yesterday and the Red Sox added a legitimate reliever in Addison Russell, whom they acquired from the Mets. However, the Yankees did more than just add a nice piece, they loaded the fuck up. They added Sonny Gray, the A’s ace thats currently sporting a 3.43 ERA and 8.7 Ks per 9 IP. Not to mention their slew of other moves, without having given up too much of value…

So now we’ve got Dave Dombrowski in full on Cover Your Ass mode it would seem. The Sox added Nunez, who’s been playing really well and then just picked up Reed, but this is a team with glaring holes that has been struggling badly, and now the hottest team in the division just got a LOT better.

Now after the Yankees were wheeling and dealing all week loading up and basically making the Bombers the favorite to win the AL East, Dombrowski starts off by jokingly calling them the Golden State Warriors.

Just really playing up how great the Yankees are and how the Red Sox are really just underdogs for the rest of the season, except leaving out the fact that the Sox were the heavy pre-season FAVORITE to win the AL East. This is the definition of hedging your bets.

Now, I’m sure Dombrowski had some limitations put on him by ownership to avoid going over the luxury tax, but he still built this team. He signed Price and traded for Sale, and Kimbrel, and Pomeranz. Not to mention the trades for guys who have been injury plagued disasters in Tyler Thornburg and Carson Smith. If this team fails its on him. But, by pointing out how stacked the Yankees are and how the Sox are just some plucky underdogs  (with a $190M payroll) scrapping to compete, he’s already hedging so that if the Sox falter and don’t win the division or even straight up miss the playoffs, its not on him. Bullshit. Dave’s conveniently forgetting the fact that the expectations for this team were to compete for a World Series, not sneak into a Wild Card one-game playoff.

Dombrowski has been doing this a lot recently too, its not just his reaction to the trade deadline yesterday. After the Sox put David Price on the DL the same day he was supposed to start and potentially take a verbal beating from the fans, people were rightfully suspicious. Dombrowski scoffed at the suggestion they DL’d price just to skip a start. Dave went on a rant about how you can’t just put a guy on the DL without a serious medical issue that gets clearance from MLB. Uhhh did we already forget about Pablo Sandoval’s ear infection that knocked him out for like 2 weeks?? Thats a vicious ear infection. Did the Sox send a full ear X-ray to the commissioners office to get approval? Get the fuck outta here.

Dombrowski is preemptively chilling his seat before it gets too hot if the Sox do get bounced early, but I’m on to you Dave.

Steve Bartman Gets a Cubs World Series Ring. He HAS to Throw it in the Ocean like the Old Lady at the End of the Titanic Right?

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WGN -“On behalf of the entire Chicago Cubs organization, we are honored to present a 2016 World Series Championship Ring to Mr. Steve Bartman,” the Cubs told WGN in a statement. “We hope this provides closure on an unfortunate chapter of the story that has perpetuated throughout our quest to win a long-awaited World Series. While no gesture can fully lift the public burden he has endured for more than a decade, we felt it was important Steve knows he has been and continues to be fully embraced by this organization. After all he has sacrificed, we are proud to recognize Steve Bartman with this gift today.”

What an absolutely hollow gesture from the Cubs. You can’t pay off your guilt like a goddamn credit card guys. Hey sorry we totally fucked up your life, here’s a big shiny ring that you can never wear anywhere because you’re Steve Fucking Bartman. This guy got hosed plain and simple. If Steve Bartman got excommunicated from the city of Chicago, then everyone sitting in his section should have been forced to walk the ice on the Chicago River like they did in The Dark Knight Rises.

They all reached for the ball guys. Bartman just got blamed for it. So Bartman became a notorious recluse, never did any interviews, declined to be in any documentaries, basically just wanted to be left the hell alone.

Bartman did issue a statement though saying how grateful he was for the ring and bringing him some closure:

“Although I do not consider myself worthy of such an honor, I am deeply moved and sincerely grateful to receive an official Chicago Cubs 2016 World Series Championship ring. I am fully aware of the historical significance and appreciate the symbolism the ring represents on multiple levels. My family and I will cherish it for generations.”

So maybe it does help? I don’t know, but I think if you’re Steve Bartman you have to just throw this thing in the ocean like the old lady at the end of the Titanic right? If there’s one thing I can respect in a man, its a long standing grudge. Keep the grudge alive, Steve.

Jonathan Stewart Just Won NFL Training Camp With His Oregon Ducks Themed Audi

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As an Oregon Ducks fan (This is on you, Boston College) Jonathan Stewart’s newest car legit has me sweaty and short of breath. And not in the fat guy climbing stairs kind of way. That car is so money. And I love that J-Stew went for the even uglier Oregon color scheme and design of his heyday rather than the more recent neon and chrome color scheme.

Its even got the absurd attention to detail that Phil Knight’s favorite school is so fond of like the duck wings on the goddamn mirrors.

Impeccable. The little yellow touch with DUCKS on the door handles is phenomenal as well.

Now hopefully Stewart can get another one of these for the Ducks to illegally bribe a 5-star QB recruit with because Oregon has been absolutely awful under center since Mariota left school to turn pro. Vernon Adams, who plays in the CFL now, was the best they’ve had but he was a short term solution for a team that suddenly finds itself back in the dark, pre-Mariota days without any known commodity heading into 2017. Look good, feel good, play good. Ducks are halfway there.

Time to Make the Donuts

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10 years ago today the Boston Celtics traded for Kevin Garnett and completely changed the makeup of the entire franchise. Al Jefferson, Gerald Green, Sebastian Telfair, Ryan Gomes, Theo Ratliff’s expiring contract, and two first-round picks. Thats what it took to land KG, a guy who’s No. 5 will likely be up in the rafters, and put the Celtics back on the map. A basement dwelling lottery team in the matter of a few weeks acquired both Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett and morphed into a 66 win team. All that after only winning 24 games the year before. Thats 42 additional wins for anyone who didn’t bring their calculator. KG was competitive as hell, tough, intense, generally crazy, and the guy came to ball every single night. Probably my favorite Celtics player of all time. CUE THE HIGHLIGHTS

Its Official, David Price has Poisoned the Well for the Red Sox

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So in whats become one of the most lengthy Red Sox dramas that I can remember in a long time, David Price and the boys are morphing into a group of unlikeable assholes right before our eyes. It started of course with Shaugnessy’s story detailing how Price was berating Hall of Famer and NESN analyst Dennis Eckersley on the team plane in front of everyone, supposedly because of Eck’s “Yuck” comment about a recent E-Rod rehab start. Not because Eck was criticizing Price, not because Price also recently flipped the fuck out on Evan Drellich (also in front of a crowd of reporters), but because he’s a good teammate. If you think thats a pretty convenient excuse for Price to rip into a member of the media merely to defend a teammate, then you’re right – its bullshit.

Price is actually pitching well, but he seems to be falling apart mentally, lashing out at anyone and everyone for various reasons.

While you’re still an asshole for the way you went about it, you can rip into Evan Drellich and no one will care. But when you start talking shit to a national treasure like Eck and do it on the plane surrounded by your teammates like a schoolyard bully? Then thats where the problem starts. If there’s one thing fans in Boston do not like its entitlement. Now obviously thats a sliding scale with all professional athletes because they’re all entitled to some degree, but when the $30M per year pitcher starts grandstanding and bitching about every little slight because he can’t handle his Twitter notifications, then its a BIG problem.

To make matters worse, rather than suspend, fine or ya know TALK to Price about the incident and ask him “uhh you good big guy?” Instead of doing any of those things, the Red Sox ignored the problem and literally changed the plane boarding procedure. Rather than address the issue, lets just bury our heads in the sand and separate the kids like its recess.

Now we hear that other Red Sox players and even Pedroia (Bradfo disagrees) were cheering Price on while he was berating Eck? Like a bunch of assholes. Thats a goddamn shame. Talk about poisoning the fucking well.

If this galvanizes the team and they f-bomb everyone around them all the way to a World Series title then thats one thing. That’ll be their thing. 2013 was Boston Strong, 2004 was the Idiots, 2017 can be the miserable assholes who rail against the world. But if they don’t? If they stumble down the stretch and get bounced in the first round or somehow miss the playoffs? I wouldn’t put it past John Henry to say FUCK THIS and send a drastically different looking team to Fort Myers in 2018.

Now after weeks of this incident lingering, sports radio eviscerating the players, and just general fan backlash, the Red Sox return home from a long west coast road trip and send none other than David Price to the mound Friday night. This guy better take the hill and strike out the side right out of the gate because if he doesn’t he very well may get his balls booed off. There’s a lot of pressure on Price tonight, about as much as there can be for a game in the dead of July, but holy shit, if this guy comes out and takes a beating tonight? Forget it, the Fenway faithful might literally break this guy’s psyche. And I for one am excited as all hell to see this unfold.

Want to vocalize your distaste for all this bullshit going on with the Red Sox? Maybe get in David Price’s brain from the stands to rattle his cage a little bit? Buy a Yuck shirt.

#RushHourRap – Kanye West Pt. 2

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In what many described as the first ever crowdsourced album because of Kanye’s multiple tweaks to the album AFTER it had already been released, 2016’s The Life of Pablo is another hit in Yeezy’s catalogue. It was also the first album ever to go Platinum entirely from streams. As most of his recent albums have been, they definitely take a couple listens through to understand, but as he did with 808s and Heartbreak, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, and Yeezus, Kanye is ahead of the game — wacky song titles and all.

Adrian Beltre Gets Ejected for Being a Hilarious Dickhead

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I respect the shit out of anyone who can really dial up the sarcasm and Adrian Beltre had that here in spades. The former Red Sox third baseman got ejected for essentially not warming up in the on-deck circle. “Oh you want me to move over there? Let me just drag this plastic fucking rug over here if its such a big deal.”

SEE YA LATER.

Beltre is such an enigma I love it. He only played here for one year, but the guy was loved by fans, unlike half the assholes we trot out there now. Don’t touch his head, crushing dingers over the monster from one knee, and now he’s out there rearranging the field just to tweak the umpires. Love it. Never change, Adrian.

Hot Pie from Game of Thrones Opens Bakery Called You Know Nothing Jon Dough

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Unilad – Hot Pie from Game of Thrones has swapped his career in the show to embark on a business venture in real life by opening an online bakery… called, wait for it, ‘You Know Nothing John Dough’.

I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried, but good for you Hot Pie, strike while the iron is hot because I do not see a lot of acting gigs in your future. Sure there will always be Jonah Hill who climbs from the depths of funny fat guys to rolling around Hollywood with Decaprio, but he’s the exception not the rule. So bake that bread and make a goddamn bread empire you scene stealing sonofabitch. If I can just end this with a pun; stack that bread. I’ll see myself out.

PS – That is some genius reverse engineering some product placement. What looks warm and delicious? How about a loaf of buttery bread after being on the Kings Road for months. Sign me up for some direwolf bread, STAT. Plus You Know Nothing Jon Dough is just A+ marketing. Well done, Hotpie.

#RushHourRap – Eminem – My Name Is

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If you’re like me and have to sit through soul crushing traffic every morning and every evening then you know the need for anything to keep your mind off the logjam. Personally, I like to blast rap as loud as possible as early as possible, introducing #RushHourRap. What better way to kick it off than with the Eminem classic “My Name Is”

Especially if anyones recently watched the HBO doc “The Defiant Ones” about Dr. Dre and Jimmy Iovine, where Dre explains how this track was created almost instantly after walking into the studio with Em. MUST watch for any music fan.