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Milwaukee Bucks Are Crushing Marketing: Now Selling 10 WIN Plans

ESPN – For years, NBA teams have sold 10-game plans for fans that don’t want to commit to buying a whole season worth of games. On Tuesday, the Milwaukee Bucks will announce that they’re offering a 10-win plan. That’s right, guaranteed wins. In a package that will go on sale Tuesday through Jan. 11, the Bucks will sell fans a ticket pass for $149 that will begin on Jan. 13 against the Miami Heat and will be active until the Bucks win 10 home games.

What an absolutely genius move by the Bucks here. This team is on the up, but fans in Milwaukee do not give a shit. A pretty decent team that is developing one of the best young players in the NBA in Giannis Antetokounmpo, but they still rank 27th in attendance.

So the Bucks are guaranteeing every fan who buys this ticket pack for $149 sees 10 wins, not 10 games, 10 wins, which is absurd. I was a partial season ticket holder for the Bruins last year, when they just happened to be awful at home, and I think they lost something like 8 of 12 games I was at. So I totally get the uncertainty of re-upping for another ticket plan. Milwaukee fans would be stupid to not take the Bucks up on this offer. I can’t even go to ONE Celtics game with a buddy for that price. The cheeseheads could get 20 games for the same price.

Sometimes I wish I lived in a flyover state. Tickets are cheaper. Beers are cheaper. Just a simple life really.

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RIP Rex Ryan; the Guy That Revived the Patriots Jets Rivalry

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After 8 years as a Head Coach, all in the AFC East, Rex just got canned by Buffalo from his second HC gig less than 2 seasons in. Is this the end of Rex as a head coach? It very well might be. He’s obviously gonna have multiple high paying offers to do TV next season. The guy is wildly entertaining with a bunch of catch phrases spawned from his time on Hard Knocks.

*or as this guy on YouTube savagely titled the same video: “Disgusting Fat Pig Jets coach talks about food during speech

I don’t know if he has the piss and vinegar to say “fuck you guys I’m a head coach” and hunt for a HC job. I did laugh out loud though at the ESPN update announcing the move: “Rex Ryan fired by Bills…Rob Ryan also relieved of his duties.” Uhh yea, you’re fired…and take your fucking brother with you.

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I just think the guy is a prototypical coordinator. Highly knowledgeable in one area, pretty loose, gets along with the players etc. But he hasn’t been able to put it all together. Now a lot of head coaches in the NFL specialize on just one side of the ball and will defer to their coordinators while they act as more of a CEO of the team, but that ain’t Rex.

So if this is the end for Rex, I will miss you dearly. This guy singlehandedly revived the Patriots/Jets rivalry. He built a roster of hateable, mouthy assholes that competed with and beat the Pats on a few big occasions. I’ll always remember the bitter, bitter humble pie after the loss to the Jets in the 2010 playoffs, which I never saw coming because of the 45-3 thrashing of them in the regular season. Those games were heated. The Jets were finally good enough to legitimately threaten the Pats. Rex’s Jets were ultimately brought down by a mediocre offense lead by the immortal Mark Sanchez (never forget the 3 INT game from LEIGH BODDEN), but from like 2009-2011 this was a rivalry again with palpable hate between the fan bases. I still take great joy in mocking the Jets fans and their 09-10 BACK TO BACK AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME APPEARANCES. Sounds like a shitty Colts banner.

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I think that heated rivalry ended though when the Patriots put a bullet in Fireman Ed and the entire Jets franchise on national TV with the Butt Fumble beatdown on Thanksgiving 2012. Best football game I’ve ever been to still to this day.

PS – Is it just me or was Fireman Ed the worst firefighter ever? What, are there no fires on Sunday, Ed? I mean, I don’t want to be cliche, but you know what Belichick would say to the guy?

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Hot Take Alert: The 2016 Patriots Defense is Good Enough to Win the Super Bowl

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I’m just gonna go ahead and say it; the 2016 Patriots defense is good enough to win the Super Bowl. I know thats not a popular opinion on Contrarian FM Sports Talk Radio. Its even sacrilegious to suggest this if you hear the nonsense from Shank and his super fresh “Tomato Cans” take. I swear to christ if I hear the term Tomato Cans from Shank one more time I am just gonna snap.

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But you wanna get nuts? Lets get nuts and look at the numbers. The Patriots defense has allowed 33 points less than any other team this season.  They’re 8th in Total Yards Allowed and Yards per Game, 3rd in Rushing Yards Allowed and Rushing Yards per Game, and 1st in Points Allowed with 15.7 pts allowed per game. 15.7!

Now they’re 14th in Passing Yards Allowed and Passing Yards per Game, but they are routinely up on other teams and forcing them to throw (which can also help boost the rushing yards total), but even with that being true they’re still giving up less than 16 a game.

They’re also 3rd in Takeaway Differential, which is a great indicator of team success. The top 5 in Takeaway Differential goes, in order, Oakland (No. 2 seed in the AFC), Kansas City (Wildcard w/ potential to jump to the No. 2 seed), Atlanta (No. 2 seed in the NFC), the Pats and then the walking anomaly that is the Bills (RIP Rex).

So you can point to 3rd down conversion percentage, opposing QB Rating, or Yards per play. But at the end of the day the defense is playing well enough. Are they the 2002 Ravens? Fuck no. But they don’t need to be. With a healthy McCourty, Butler, Hightower and the defensive line playing well this defense is good enough. And thats all the Patriots need to win a title. Was it a lot easier with a shutdown corner like Darrelle Revis in the secondary? Sure, but that guy’s making 20 million a year to be a goddamn welfare recipient in NYC right now. So I’m not saying the Pats can win a lot of games 10-3, but with TB12 under center a defense like this should get the job done.

See ya in Houston!

Demarcus Cousins Would Be the CT of the NBA in Boston

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Pro Basketball Talk[Cousins] scoring 55 points on 17-of-28 shooting, leading the Kings to 126-121 win over the team they are chasing for a playoff slot. Near the end of the game, Cousins got ejected after barking at the Trail Blazers bench and his mouthpiece coming out — one referee thought he either spit it or threw it at the Blazers bench and gave him a technical, Cousins’ second. He sprinted to the locker room to avoid doing anything stupid. Then the officials talked, decided the mouthpiece coming out was accidental, and rescinded the technical.

People love CT from the Challenge because he is a Masshole through and through, for better or for worse. Guy is an animal, dominates the game, is a total asshole and disregards what anybody tells him, but is also loyal to his guys and hates losing with a fiery passion. Sound like a certain mercurial someone in the NBA?

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Demarcus Cousins would be worshipped here in Boston because of those qualities, not in spite of them. Don’t let the morally righteous sports writers of this city tell you otherwise. Do I agree with Cousins spitting his mouthguard out at an opposing assistant coach? No. But in the midst of a MONSTER 55 point game against a team your fighting for a playoff spot, all while on a winning team in Boston?? Fans around here would be FIRED UP about that and be tripping all over themselves to say how uber competitive he is, like a young KG. And so would I.

Don’t get caught up on a guy being a miserable prick when he’s on a team thats been in the basement of the league every year of his career. You gotta take some chances to win in the NBA if you don’t have a LeBron fall into your lap like Cleveland. So I’ll take a chance that this guy would thrive in Boston and be embraced by this city.

People used to point to the Pacers in the early part of this decade as a team that did it right and built through the draft without any real superstars. They did it on depth, good coaching and some pretty good players in Paul George (who has grown into a star), Roy Hibbert and David West. They were a fun team to watch and root for. But what happened? They never won shit and they got beat every time by bigger, badder teams like the super team the Heat had a few years ago. They slowly got worse and the team hasn’t gotten close since.

Take a chance on a super talent. Or don’t and be the Pacers for the next decade.

The NFL Combine is Now Open to the Public and I Need to Go

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Yahoo – The NFL reportedly is opening the doors to the NFL combine to fans to get a look behind the curtain at how the biggest pre-draft event works. But the question we have: Once they see it, will they ever want to again? The league is allowing 6,000 fans to witness events such as the 40-yard dash and the bench press, along with prospect interviews, for the combine, which runs March 2-5 at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis.

YES. Yes I want to go see this. Are you kidding me? Get a chance to see the Westminster Dog Show in person, count me in. All kidding aside this could make for a long day, but what better way to legitimately understand what freaks of nature these athletes are than seeing them workout in person.

It also seems like the perfect opportunity to take your shithead friend who played D2 football and still things he has a shot at the League. Witness a dude bench 222 lbs 30 times or run a 4.3 40-yard dash as a 6’2″ freak of nature. Now that is some shit that would be entertaining.

Or who knows, maybe you hit the jackpot and get to witness greatness:

But seriously count me in. Any bullshit sporting event I am always in. Arena Football, UFL (Daunte Culpepper shredded it up in Hartford), NLL Lacrosse inside a CASINO, the list goes on and on.

Still my biggest regret in life though was being too young to fly out for an NFL Europa game and see Rohan Davey rip 70 yard throws in Berlin.

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Book the flights!

A Festivus Airing of Fantasy Football Grievances

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With Festivus coming up and after narrowly avoiding my first Sacko last night, I just wanted to take the time out for a proper Airing of Grievances for my once promising fantasy football team that went straight to hell. Below is the original team that took the field on Week 1; til death do us part.

QB1: Jameis Winston: The 13th scoring QB in fantasy this year. Look I’ve won titles with Donovan McNabb and Tim Tebow. QB was not the problem here.

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QB2: Philip Rivers: Traded him for a 2017 3rd round pick once my season was cooked. Draft board flexibility like you read about.

WR1: Alshon Jeffery: Decent stats, but was ultimately at the mercy of shithead Smokin Jay Cutler. Oh and ya know got popped for PEDs and missed 4 weeks down the stretch.

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WR2: Michael Floyd: – Shout out to my number 2 WR who can hold his booze just about as well as he can hold a football. On the verge of a breakout season in a top offense and he ends up with just as many drops as touchdowns (4) before being cut for getting a DUI. This was after cops found him piss drunk passed out at the wheel of his car in an intersection. Not to mention just 33 catches on 70(!) targets. Now, that is what I call Return. On. Investment.

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RB1 and KEEPER: Thomas Rawls: Coming off a beast finish to 2015 with 830 yards on just 147 carries for 5.6 YPC, Rawls was a sneaky steal with a 16th round pick as a keeper. Dude did break his leg though, which made it risky, but sometimes ya gotta race.


All the reports and draft experts pointed towards Rawls being ready for Week 1 and naturally he ran for a combined 25 yards in the first two games before ultimately missing EIGHT MOTHERFUCKING WEEKS. The guy didn’t put in a good game until Week 13. SAD.

RB2: Ezekiel Elliot: We good.

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TE: Zach Ertz: Solid first game. Dislocated a rib. Didn’t have a good game until Week 9. God damnit.

Flex: Allen Hurns22b933b11f8c0890c6e8a1efed1046fe3f99a3aa188dd315d89cbaeb74b5ae7b

Flex: Willie Snead: Some weeks I score 30 points. Other weeks I put up a goose egg. Enjoy the ride.

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6 Bench Spots:

(IR) Danny Woodhead: BEAST. But got hurt again and submarined any solid PPR flex options for me.

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Jeremy Langford: Oh just a *total* asshole. A starting RB with potential solely because of workload volume alone. So what’s he do? Suck, get hurt and lose his job. Another draft pick nailed.

(IR) Shane Vereen: Hurt and missed most of the season.

(IR) Josh Doctson: I *also* drafted Breshad Perriman last year who *also* missed his entire rookie season.

(IR) Braxton Miller: A dart throw who had exactly one game with more than 4 pts and ultimately wound up on IR. Brock Osweiler is radioactive to offense.

Kickers and defenses do not matter so I will not address them.

Final Record: 4-9 for an 11th place finish

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Andy Reid Continues to Be a Master of Clock Management

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Andy Reid’s latest bungling of clock management and overall basic common sense once again fucked his team good. Guy just doesn’t ever, ever learn. Tried to ice a kicker in freezing temperatures on a 53 yard Field Goal. WHY? What are the odds he actually makes that kick on the first try? I don’t know the answer to that, I’m not a mathematician. But, I’ll tell you, those odds sure as shit double when you give him TWO TRIES. Moron. (The NFL kindly avoided any references to Andy Reid’s terrible coaching decisions in their game recap though.)

This just further proves my point of how incestual the NFL really is. There’s no other explanation for how guys like him and Jeff Fisher keep getting head coaching jobs. They’ve proven they are not good coaches, but are somehow revered as so without ever having won anything.

Maybe, I’m spoiled being a Patriots fan, but why settle for a guy you know is going to mismanage the clock and lose you a game in crunch time when you could try and hit on a young coach? And don’t tell me consistency because thats how the Rams were consistently 7-9 for the last 5 years.

 

Did I Just Fix NCAA College Football?

johnnyfootballI think we can all agree that NCAA football players are getting screwed, especially when it comes to Bowl season and the schools are making BANK. Pay the players. Don’t pay the players. They already get free school. They can’t afford lunch. I’ve heard all the arguments. Well, I think I just solved the issue and fixed college football.

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College Enrollment is Falling as People Start to Wise Up

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Yahoo“Despite aggressive efforts nationwide to boost the number of people who attend college, enrollments declined this fall for the fifth straight year as better job prospects for older potential students and a stalled pipeline of new high-school graduates were compounded by continued woes in the for-profit college sector.”

Good. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. College is the biggest scam going and is 1,000% the next bubble to burst. Now don’t get me wrong, I think college is extremely valuable if for nothing else than life skills: learning to live on your own, dealing with issues w/o your parents help and even making some money on the side to supplement your hobbies (drinking).

But that is not a skill set that is worth 200k+ (cue the kids chirping who went to trade schools). And the costs keep rising as if the colleges don’t even seem to realize this is a problem that will ultimately kill their racket. From when I was a freshman in college years ago to now, the yearly tuition at my school has gone up at least 12K. So you’re now paying 50k+ a year at some schools for degrees in fields that don’t have the supply to meet the demand. Which is why you have millennials living in their parents basements until their 30 and no one buying a house until their 40.

“The trend of prices continuing to rise faster than inflation is beginning to have more and more of an impact” on enrollments, especially among low-income and first-generation students, says Jamie Merisotis, president and CEO of Lumina Foundation, a nonprofit aiming to increase college attainment. He says affordability concerns are outweighing projections about the economic benefits of a college education.

Now obviously its a sliding scale. If you’re becoming a doctor or a lawyer, then yes clearly you need a college degree. And yes, of course I know a college degree has given me and my peers opportunities we just wouldn’t have been able to get without a degree. But for an English Lit major, going 200k in debt is a terrible, terrible idea. And not to be a blameless millennial, but letting a 17 year old make the decision to take on that debt for the rest of their life is an unbelievable lack of judgement on everyone’s part.

So I’m glad college enrollment is falling. Maybe when it starts to fall at 10% per year colleges will start to realize, oh shit maybe they can’t charge 65k a year for a Communications degree so I can work at the Gap.

But probably not. Higher Ed will push prices higher and higher until it explodes and no one can afford it OR everyone defaults on their loans. Should be a fun decade to watch the world burn. My kid is gonna be a plumber no doubt.

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