Author Archives

Unknown's avatar

Red

Hero Helps His Wife Prep for Her MLB Broadcasting Debut by Playing Video Games

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Yahoo – Jenny Cavnar didn’t have long to prep before providing Colorado Rockies play-by-play. She found out she would have to fill the role the day before the game, so she didn’t have a lot of options to get in some last-minute practice before her play-by-play debut. That’s when her husband hatched a plan, according to Joon Lee of Bleacher Report. He would play “MLB: The Show” and she would call his game..They fired up the game, selected the San Diego Padres as the Rockies’ opponent — since that was the matchup Cavnar would call the next day — and gave it a shot.

Shoutout to this guy for getting massive brownie points for helping his wife prep for the biggest day of her career while ALSO playing PS4 at the same time. His wife is getting called up to the big leagues, literally, to not only call a professional baseball game which is huge, but also be one of the first women to ever do it. Pressure cooker like you read about.

So what does my man do? Johnny on the spot here with the idea to have his wife simply call his game of The Show. He gets to do absolutely nothing while not even really having to talk to his wife while also appearing to be the most helpful husband in America.
This guy is bred for greatness. I feel like this should be a Miller Lite commercial or better yet Dave Chappelle should re-enact this scenario for an episode of Great Moments in Hookup History.

PS – I’ve bought two baseball games in the 13 years since the MVP Baseball franchise breathed its last breath in 2005 because every game since then is hot garbage. If I ever run for public office that will be my platform. #MakeMVPBaseballAgain

Red Sox vs Yankees IV: Pomeranz Battles a Broken Fingernail but Giancarlo Goes Yard Twice in a Yanks Win

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Giancarlo smoked two solo dingers to lead the Yankees to a 3-2 win over the Red Sox and Drew Pomeranz avoided a nail filing disaster to finish with a solid stat line: 6 IP, 2 Runs, 6 Strikeouts. As predicted, Luis Severino was not going to implode against the Sox twice in a row though as he went 6 IP while surrendering 2 Runs and striking out 11.

I gotta give props to Pomeranz though, I was legitimately typing the tweet getting ready to blast him for bailing on a start in the 2nd inning 2 hours after David Price got scratched. But after calling over the trainers and doing a little nail filing maintenance he was able to get back out there and pitch well. Trying to throw junk with a broken fingernail cannot be fun.

Down 2-1 the new best player on the planet Mookie Betts dragged the Sox back into a tie with a triple in the 7th to knock in a run, but that lead wasn’t meant to be.

Despite the two mistakes served up by Pomeranz to Giancarlo:

This game was more on the bullpen than anything else as Alex Cora figured the first guy out of the pen after an off day should be Heath Hembree! He got the first guy out but then gave up a double and then walked Gleyber Torres. After a mound visit Hembree immediately is called for a balk so now theres runners on 2nd and 3rd. He then proceeds to walk Brett Gardner before getting yanked for Joe Kelly, who gave up a single to put the Yanks on top for good.

Wednesday night’s projected starter *was* David Price but he was sent back to Boston yesterday because the numbness in his fingers returned so I’m in full blown panic mode.

We’ll have more on that later this morning.

So instead tonight we get Frederick Alfred Porcello (5-0) 2.14 vs  Masahiro Tanaka (4-2) 4.39 and Porcello has been on a roll to start the year so I’m picking the Sox to right the ship and regain their lead in the AL East.

Red Sox Looking to Temper Red Hot Yankees in the Bronx Tonight

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Starting tonight the Red Sox head into the Bronx to take on the Yankees while currently holding a 1 game lead in the AL East. After taking 2 of 3 from the Yankees in the first series of the year the Yanks have gone on an absolute heater winning 15 of 16…. all while leaning on rookies. So the Yankees lineup that was absolutely stacked with power hitters now has a rookie in Gleyber Torres who is hitting a cool .327/.357/.857 ?? Cool. I look forward to hating you soon enough Mr. Torres.

Thankfully the Sox have been taking care of business on their end as well with Mookie Betts merely becoming the best player in baseball. No big deal. And before you try and shut me down hear me out. Mookie is leading the MLB in Batting Average, Slugging Percentage, OPS, Runs Scored, Home Runs, Total Bases, and Extra Base Hits.

These two teams are FINALLY both great at the same time. We’ve said it ad nauseam but over the past decade these two teams kept missing each other, which is why they haven’t faced off in the playoffs in years. Now both are a legitimate threat to win 100 games this year. The last time I could find two teams in the same division that won 100 games was the 2001 AL West when the Mariners won 116 games and the Athletics won 102 so this division race has the potential to be historic.

JD Martinez has actually been playing great as well hitting .349/.396/1.015 with 8 Home Runs and 27 RBIs on the year. The surprise in my voice in response to how well JD is playing is a sad reflection of how badly the Sox have botched big money free agent signings in recent years. David Price (too soon?), Pablo Sandoval, Rusney Castillo, Carl Crawford etc.  So Just Dingers Martinez actually living up to the hype thus far has been a pleasant surprise on Yawkey Way Jersey Street.

There’s 16 more rounds of this left and after a benches clearing brawl in the 2nd game of the year between them this is the earliest I’ve been jacked up for a Sox Yanks game. The rivalry is back, the two teams legitimately don’t like each other, and most importantly we are each other’s biggest threat and direct competition on the path to a World Series. Hey, ESPN might even finally benefit from having them on national TV every other week.

Tonight we have Drew Pomeranz (1-1) 6.14 ERA vs Luis Severino (5-1) 2.11 ERA so that is mismatch city. The Sox beat the hell out of Severino for 5 runs in 5 innings last time around, but since then he’s sporting a 1.24 ERA with 32 Ks and 5 walks in 29 IP. This will be Pomeranz’s 4th start back from the DL so I’m not super confident, but he does have a 3-2 record and a 3.12 ERA in his career at Yankee Stadium. All things considered I’ve gotta go with Severino tonight as the guy is on a roll and is unlikely to lay an egg against the Sox twice in a row. With that being said if you gamble on individual baseball games you are a sick degenerate and I cannot help you.

Celtics Unable to Complete the Sweep of Sixers (and the Refs)

By on • ( Leave a comment )

The Celtics missed an opportunity to put the Sixers away and end the series last night on a clean 4-0 sweep as they fell 102-93 to Philadelphia. While some serious home cooking from the refs didn’t cause the C’s to lose, it certainly didn’t help. Basically all of Boston’s top players were in foul trouble mid-way through the 2nd quarter, which is unusual to say the least.

Thats 4 rotation players and 2 of your top 3 offensive threats already forced to take their foot off the gas just to make it through the game (Marcus Smart fouled out later anyways). Hell Brad Stevens even had to jump in and get a technical foul just to prevent the refs from tossing Jaylen Brown on a shaky call later in the night.

Aside from all that nonsense though, the Celtics were sloppy, forcing up prayer shots and turning the ball over way too much.

I know we were ready to curb stomp Philly, but they are a pretty damn good team and when you make a boatload of mistakes anybody is going to make you pay for that.

In Scary Terry News, Terry Rozier finished with 11 points, 8 rebounds and a near fist fight with Joel Embiid.

Just to put this into perspective, Joel Embiid is 7’0″ tall and Rozier is 6’2″ Thats a full 10 inches Rozier is giving up and he don’t give a shit. Gotta love the tenacity. And even on a night where he only shoots 4-11 Terry is still feeling himself.

Also getting into it with Embiid was one Marcus Morris who were both jawing and talking shit throughout the game. Morris was able to body Embiid in the trash talk department though.

At least I think it was Marcus?

What really put the nail in Celtics coffin though was this sequence late in the game. Down 10 with 7 minutes to go the C’s were in a good spot to chip away, play D, and extend the game. Instead they uncharacteristically started playing hero ball and forcing a bunch of terrible looks rather than taking what was given to them. Over the next 5 minutes here’s what the Celtics did on offense.

Terry Rozier 3 pt MISS

Marcus Smart 2 free throws

Marcus Smart layup

Jayson Tatum 3 pt MISS

Terry Rozier 3 pt MISS

Marcus Morris 3 pt MISS

Jayson Tatum 3 pt MISS

And that was basically the game. Down 10 points with plenty of time left the Celtics force five three pointers and miss them all. Not great.

The Celtics will now look to close out the series back at home on Wednesday night. The Sixers and TJ McConnell (19 pts) in particular are starting to feel themselves a little bit, but put them back in the Garden and get ahead early and this team will roll over. Lets put this team away so we can actually face the final boss in the Eastern Conference Finals with some gas left in the tank.

My biggest concern? LeBron finished off his sweep of the Raptors so now he’s just chilling on his couch getting extra rest waiting for us…

Vegas Underdog Celtics Go for the Sweep Tonight Against Vegas Favorite Sixers

By on • ( Leave a comment )

The Celtics have been underdogs in each of the first 3 games against Philly this series and are now up 3-0 and on the brink of a sweep. Massholes everywhere are putting Vegas bookies in the hurt locker this past week. The Celtics were +9 the other night for christ’s sake and it took a buzzer beater (and confetti!) just for the Sixers to force OT and lose again.

The Celtics, per usual, are fun as all hell to watch because they’re tough, gritty, smart with the ball, and are playing above their talent level. Once Hayward got hurt 5 minutes into the season, most reasonable hopes of a Larry O’Brien trophy went out the window. Then once Kyrie Irving got shut down for the season, I was content to just win a round. Not the C’s though. These guys are giving the Sixers fits, who are basically the bully on the block that gets punched in the nose and doesn’t know what to do.

Young guys like Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum are setting records and look years beyond their age. Seriously, these guys have been incredible. I’m done with the Kawhi Leonard trade rumors. I’m not moving these guys for anyone outside of Anthony Davis, let alone both of them for a player who’s battled injuries and has been a general sourpuss for the last 2 years.

Terry Rozier has become a national story as Scary Terry continues to put up huge numbers both on, and off the court (and murdered Eric Bledsoe as a result).

Al Horford has probablyyy heard the Average Al nickname and its probablyyy pissed him off as he’s looked like the max player we all hoped for night in and night out. Just look at the numbers. In the playoffs this year, Horford is AVERAGING 17.9 points (a career high)  and 8.6 rebounds per game.

Not to jinx it, but assuming the C’s don’t completely implode, we’re set up for another classic Eastern Conference Finals rematch with LeBron James. The Celtics bodied LeBron for the first half of his career and legitimately chased him out of Cleveland because he couldn’t get past Boston in the playoffs. The second and third acts of his career have been a different story though as LeBron has been ridiculously great for an unprecedented number of years and taken the Celtics behind the shed a few times along the way. At 33 you’d think LeBron would be slowing down, but nope the guy has gone Super Saiyan and is just putting on an absolute clinic carrying the Cavs to the ECF hitting iconic game winners in the process (soft defense by Toronto is besides the point).

So whether the Celtics are ready to get past LeBron remains to be seen, but goddamn will it be fun to watch. A young, long, athletic, and best of all cocky squad of guys in their early 20s gunning to knock off the best player of my generation will be legitimate theater.

The 300s Plays the Ponies: Kentucky Derby Edition

By on • ( Leave a comment )

So with one of the biggest gambling days of the year, the Kentucky Derby, falling on one of the biggest drinking days of the year, Cinco De Mayo, it was only right for the whole staff to put down a month’s worth of rent on some ponies. Live odds for the Kentucky Derby can be found right here, but its almost better if you don’t even know the odds because if you tell me you know what you’re talking about I immediately picture Kramer at the track.

Without further ado The 300s Plays the Ponies:

Big Z: I’m taking Bolt d’Oro as my pick. My trifecta pick is Bolt d’Oro, Good Magic, and Vino Rosso 1-2-3. I’m picking this on Friday morning, so hopefully no one ends up at the glue factory before tomorrow night. I’ll never forget the time my dad bet on a horse at Suffolk Downs during the Hot Dog Safari that broke its leg on the way to the post.

Papa Giorgio: Justify and Mendelssohn getting the early love from the experts, My Boy Jack is my vote based on the name alone. Derby is a great race to bet, best spread all good ponies, good way to make some cash

Joey B: Flameaway. The New York Times described this horse as girtty and thats all I need to hear. Tom Brady is gritty. Frankie Edgar is gritty. Prime Kobe was gritty. Flameaway at 30-1? C’mon. Lets fucking go.

Red: Full disclosure, I am basically picking my horse the same way your girlfriend picks March Madness games; its all in the name baby. I’m taking Magnum Moon at 13-1. Apparently he was just crushing the competition during Kentucky Derby qualifiers and his trainer Todd Pletcher won the Derby last year. And with a name like Magnum? The choice is already made for me.

 

Celtics Go Up 2-0 On the Sixers as Likely ROY Ben Simmons Drops ONE Point

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Likely Rookie (not really a rookie) of the Year Ben Simmons was on fire last night with ONE point the whole goddamn game. I feel like I could get at least 2 points in a game on pure luck alone. You had Philly’s gigantic freak of nature center Joel Embiid hitting freaking fallaway three pointers, yet Ben Simmons can’t get one basket??

The onslaught of memes though are going to take some monster playoff games for Simmons to ever really scrub.

Ryan Donato Will Play for the Bruins Tonight. Finally.

By on • ( Leave a comment )

The baby faced assassin will finally be let out of the luxury box as Bruce Cassidy confirmed Ryan Donato will play tonight. After a blistering start to his career in the regular season with 9 points and 5 goals in 12 games, Donato was tasked with riding the pine for the majority of the playoffs.

For a guy with just a dozen NHL games under his belt it wasn’t really a surprise. For such a clearly gifted scorer to be unavailable while the Bruins struggled offensively was tough to watch though. Now with the B’s facing a 2-1 deficit in what amounts to a must win game they’re shaking things up after a sloppy past 2 games. Not to mention ineffective (3 goals in the last 2 games).

What better way to shake things up than to have an absolute sniper floating around on the ice? We saw glimpses of it earlier this year; Donato has an absolute ROCKET of a shot. So while he may not be as polished defensively as they’d like, its time to try something new before this series really gets away from them. This isn’t Claude’s team anymore, we don’t need 12 fourth line forwards who grind and always stay home. This is a faster, more talented, flashier team with young studs like Pastrnak, McAvoy, DeBrusk and “older” guys like Krug and Marchand wheeling and dealing out there in the offensive zone. Lets build on that and we can all reminisce about the Big Bad Bruins later, OK?

Is Rajon Rondo Resurrecting His Career Purely Out of Spite the Most Impressive Thing He’s Ever Done?

By on • ( Leave a comment )

I’ve never seen a player absolutely thrive on shit talking and haters and proving people wrong more than Rajon Rondo.

Sure, plenty of athletes have a chip on their shoulder, but this is different. This is the same guy that used to smoke kids in Connect Four back in Boston because he was so psychotically competitive.

Rondo’s career looked cooked after he was a disaster in Dallas and then was creating all sorts of drama in Chicago with Dwyane Wade and Jimmy Butler (all not on the team anymore). He had a brief resurgence in the playoffs with the Bulls (averaged 3.5 steals per game) and putting a real scare in the Celtics before getting injured and missing the rest of the series, albeit in a fire flames short sleeve suit.

Now playing for the New Orleans Pelicans he has looked like the Rondo of old, the guy that was putting up triple doubles in between Pierce, KG, and Ray Allen. He’s averaging a career high 12.7 assists per game in the playoffs to go along with 12.7 points per game and 7.5 rebounds per game. His .484 FG% is a career high in the playoffs to go along with a career high eFG% of .531, with his second best season coming during the 11-12 run with the Celtics when he had a eFG% of .482.

And its all because he thrives on the hate. Ray Allen was chirping Rondo while promoting his new book and Rondo clapped back hard. Rondo is now living off of nothing but his opponents frustration as he goes toe to toe with the biggest instigator in the league in Draymond Green. The dude is thriving off of it.

Just egging Draymond on.

Some of us get up in the morning for our families, for our jobs, for our dogs. Rajon Rondo gets up in the morning with the sole pursuit in life of pissing people off while dropping dimes on the hardwood. And for that, I’m grateful.