Author Archives

Unknown's avatar

Red

UCF is Claiming to Have Won the National Championship Despite Not Making the Playoffs and Finishing the Year Ranked 12th in the Country

By on • ( Leave a comment )

ESPN – UCF athletic director Danny White said Wednesday that the program has decided to claim a national championship and will place a championship banner inside Spectrum Stadium to recognize its undefeated 2017 season. The Knights beat Auburn 34-27 in the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl to cap a 13-0 season, finishing as the only undefeated team in college football. But because UCF doesn’t play in a Power 5 conference, it entered the bowl game ranked No. 12 by the College Football Playoff selection committee and was not given an opportunity to play for the national championship. Since the victory on New Year’s Day, UCF football has changed its Twitter display name to “2017 National Champions” with a logo designed to match.

I love this move. Undefeated Season? Check. Big bowl game win? Check. Opportunity to compete for a championship in the College Football Playoffs? Nope. “Welp, fuck this then we’ll just declare ourselves National Champs.”

This is the problem you inevitably run into with College Football. Sure, is the current 4 team playoff format better than the BCS computer ranking system of the AP Polls? Of course. But there will still be teams like this in the top 10, 15, 20 that feel like they got shafted. And going undefeated but not being given a chance to play against the big boys like Bama and Clemson is tough to swallow.

The NCAA commissioner smacked UCF down real quick though basically saying they’re schedule was too soft to rank them in the Top 4 despite their undefeated season. He’s not wrong. You wanna make the playoffs? Play a harder schedule and don’t beat up on teams like Eastern Carolina, Austin Peay, UConn, and Temple. You cannot sit here with a straight face and tell me you could even find AUSTIN PEAY on a map. Murderers Row that is not.

But UCF knew all of this and still said “nope we are the champions.” That is the ultimate George Costanza move and you have to respect it. Its like the time the Jerk Store bombed and it wasn’t until he was driving home later that a killer comeback hit him.

Respect the utter refusal to accept things as they are. Keep doing you, UCF.

*According to ESPN Stats & Information, UCF is the 10th team in the BCS era (since 1998) to finish the season undefeated and not win the national title.

Johnny Manziel Has Been Cleared to Play Football!! Has My Long Standing Boycott of the CFL Come to an End?

By on • ( Leave a comment )

NFL.com – Johnny Manziel’s return to professional football is close to getting a green light from north of the border. Canadian Football League Commissioner Randy Ambrosie announced Thursday the league is prepared to approve a contract for Manziel to play for the Hamilton Tiger-Cats if he continues to meet certain conditions tied to his eligibility. The Tiger-Cats own Manziel’s CFL rights.

Everybody, REMAIN CALM. JOHNNY MANZIEL HAS BEEN CLEARED TO PLAY FOOTBALL. I said back in September that I would be boycotting the CFL after Johnny Manziel was barred from signing a contract with the Hamilton TigerCats. I even mocked up this very appropriate quote from “Blow” in my rage.

I vowed that I would not watch a single CFL snap until one Johnny Football was allowed the opportunity to dominate that 110 yards long 65 yards wide Canadian Football field. It seems like that day is near.

We’ve been close to this before though and I’ve written about Johnny Manziel comeback rumors ad nauseam so I’ll believe it when I see him on the field tossing TDs against the Toronto Argonauts.

The NFL is probably a long shot for Johnny these days, which is a shame since he was *electric* at Texas A&M. His only shot at making a comeback is to DOMINATE in the Canadian Football League a la Doug Flutie and Warren Moon. Even if he doesn’t win 5 Grey Cups like the #1 Rated CFL Player of All-Time in Doug Flutie…

…he will still be fun as all hell to watch. I need Money Manziel back in my life and the CFL is legit built for him to thrive. CFL fields are just under 12 yards *wider* than NFL fields so that will make it that much more difficult for linebackers to chase him down, stack the box, or QB spy him. The wider fields give him tons of room to scramble around and make things happen with his feet.

And ya know, maybe take less massive hits from gigantic linebackers. Manziel is listed as 6’0″ 209 lbs on Google, which is like me claiming to be 6’2″ on my driver’s license. A bold faced lie. So a little extra room to scramble around will do Johnny good. Although, maybe he is 209 these days.

Thicc Money Manziel.

So while I don’t exactly know if the CFL Sunday Ticket is a package thats available on DirecTV in Boston, you can bet your ass I will illegally stream pay to watch any and every Johnny Manziel game I can find.

LeBron James Snuck in the Most Absurd Quote of of the Year Just Before New Years Eve

By on • ( Leave a comment )

ESPN – “LeBron James will spend his 33rd birthday on Saturday playing on the road against the Utah Jazz — a place where his teams have lost their past six games. “I need a win here. I suck here,” James said before the Cleveland Cavaliers’ morning shootaround Saturday. “I personally don’t suck, but my team sucks when we come here. We cannot win a game. So hopefully we can change that.”

Sigh. I really want to like LeBron, I really do. He’s one of, if not the best player, of our generation and will probably finish his career behind only Michael Jordan in terms of GOAT status. But then he says just the most cringeworthy shit. Like even if you’re the biggest LeBron fan in the world, how do you defend a quote like that? Its just a microcosm of his entire career. The guy is completely and utterly tone deaf. Whether its The Decision or the blatant subtweeting or the Arthur memes or the constant throwing of teammates under the bus, he is just always saying things that make it impossible to like him. Which is a goddamn shame because aside from that he seems like a genuinely good guy. He donates to charity, he builds schools, he speaks out on issues he’s passionate about, he’s never been involved in ANY type of scandal or been arrested, and he is amazing to watch play. But then he drops a quote like that and I just feel like Sweet Dee.

LaVar Ball Starting His Own Basketball League to Compete With the NCAA

By on • ( 2 Comments )

ESPN – LaVar Ball said Wednesday that he’s launching a basketball league for nationally-ranked players who have graduated from high school but don’t want to go to college. Ball’s Junior Basketball Association, which he says is fully funded by his Big Baller Brand, plans to pay the lowest-ranked player a salary of $3,000 a month and the best player $10,000 a month, Ball said. Ball is looking for 80 players to fill 10 teams that will seek to play at NBA arenas in Los Angeles, Dallas, Brooklyn and Atlanta.“Getting these players is going to be easy,” Ball told ESPN. “This is giving guys a chance to get a jump start on their career, to be seen by pro scouts, and we’re going to pay them because someone has to pay these kids.”

The modern day Vince McMahon just continues to roll along with his idea du jour; an alternative basketball league to compete with the NCAA. It’s geared at top players who don’t want to go to college, or ya know shit holes like Lithuania. Ya think LaMelo and LiAngelo might prefer playing in this league rather than taking trains and ferrys to Baltic League games in Kiev?

I gotta admit, this guy is COCKY, and it is contagious. Because on its face, its not a bad idea. If the NBA is so stuck on its “One and Done” rule (which it may actually get rid of sooner than later) then whats the point of a guy going to Duke for 8 months and showing up to a handful of classes posing as a college student like he’s in Never Been Kissed?

The NCAA is more corrupt than a North Korean election so a little competition to maybe keep them on their toes can’t hurt. Having a league that follows pro-style rules makes a ton of sense too.

“Ball said the rules of his league will follow those of the NBA instead of college — 12-minute quarters and a pro 3-point line.”

Having wildly different rules for college and the pros has never made any sense to me. Especially when leagues like the NBA and the NFL use the NCAA as a de facto minor league system. Why make the 3 point line deeper after turning pro instead of just having players get used to it in college and judge them all accordingly? Why do college football players only need to get one foot down for a catch, but in the NFL you need two?

Quotes like this though don’t really help the perception that this is just all a marketing scheme to further LaVar’s own brand.

“Ball said since Big Baller Brand is promoting the league, all players must agree to wear only Big Baller Brand products, including BBB shoes on the court. “We’ll give it to them all,” Ball said. “They’ll be wearing our uniform, our shoes, our T-shirts and our hoodies.”

Don’t get me wrong, nobody thinks LaVar Ball is here to save the manatees. The honesty and transparency is refreshing when compared to the toxic hypocrisy that is the NCAA, but in order to succeed this will need to be more than the latest example of LaVar Ball hawking garbage at an exorbitant price.

So if you’re a high school grad that doesn’t wanna play overseas and risk going to Chinese prison for swiping some sweet shades, then the Big Baller Brand league is for you. Ya know until the NBA inevitably gets rid of the “One and Done” rule, then this league will collapse faster than an IKEA kitchen table.

ESPN President John Skipper Resigns Citing Substance Addiction Issues

By on • ( 1 Comment )

ESPN – John Skipper resigned as president of ESPN and co-chairman of the Disney Media Networks on Monday. George Bodenheimer, ESPN’s president from 1998 to 2011 and its executive chairman until May 2014, will take over as the acting chairman of the company for the next 90 days to help Disney chairman and chief executive officer Bob Iger find Skipper’s replacement. “Today I have resigned from my duties as President of ESPN,” Skipper said in a statement. “I have had a wonderful career at the Walt Disney Company and am grateful for the many opportunities and friendships. I owe a debt to many, but most profoundly Michael Lynton, George Bodenheimer and Bob Iger. “I have struggled for many years with a substance addiction. I have decided that the most important thing I can do right now is to take care of my problem.

So John Skipper, the president of ESPN, resigned from his lofty position yesterday citing substance addiction issues. The guy with one of the most powerful positions in all of sports and media stepped down after literally signing a contract extension through 2021 last month. That is not normal.  I don’t mean to break out the jump to conclusions mat..

..but this all just seems to be coming at an odd time. More and more sexual abuse and harassment allegations continue to pile in every day and now we’re starting to see the movement entering the world of sports. Christ, theres an 800 page book I read about all the wild shit that went on at ESPN over the years.

Just this week we heard that Panthers owner Jerry Richardson was coming under fire for allegations of workplace misconduct against him, then the NFL took over the investigation, then the creepy details came out, and now he’s selling the team. That shit happened QUICK.

Think about that for a second. This is the NFL; the definition of the old boys club. There’s no young tech billionaire owner in the NFL like the NBA has in Mark Cuban. Its all old, rich, white guys who probably think they’re beyond reproach. Welp, its 2017 boys and its become real apparent, real quick to a lot of entitled rich guys like Richardson that ain’t the case anymore. Now we have P. Diddy coming out saying he wants to buy the Panthers.

This NEEDS to happen. Besides the fact that I could just post Chappelle’s Show clips of Making the Band all day, he would bring some much needed diversity into the club that is NFL owners. Diddy would bring a new voice as both a black man and a much younger perspective on everything from the racial issues of the league to the promotion of the product.

Back to Skipper though, it seems like this guy has been underwater for some time. That scathing Boston Globe piece came out last week slamming the Worldwide Leader for its workplace environment that was toxic to many women. Buccigross was the main fall guy in that piece as he was outed for sending overly flirty text messages and unsolicited shirt pics. Not on the level of some shit we’ve heard from Weinstein, but obviously wicked inappropriate. I don’t understand what these guys don’t get. When I’m at work I pretend everything I say and do will be recorded and used against me in the future. So just don’t try and fuck all your coworkers or be a weirdo in the office and you’ll be good. We’ve all got skeletons in our closet, but keep that shit in the closet at home.

We all of course remember the short lived Barstool Sports show with the Pardon My Take guys PFT and Big Cat that lasted all of one episode before ESPN cancelled it.

ESPN was taking heat from Sam Ponder and other female employees about the network associating with Barstool, which they were pissed about. What I don’t get is, you know what Barstool is about, you know what their audience is, you know there may be controversy, but you green light the show anyways. Then you pull the plug after one episode and some blowback from disgruntled parties? Either stick with your decision and give the show a chance to make it through some growing pains or just don’t do it at all. If Skipper and ESPN were so concerned with the negative reaction AND they were knowingly embroiled in behind the scenes legal battles with former employees regarding sexual harassment, then why not kick the can down the road and try the show later on? Its just poor management.

Hopefully Skipper gets whatever help he needs for his substance issue, but with the timeline of everything and more allegations making their way into the sports world I would not be surprised if we start hearing some less than flattering details leaking out sooner than later.

Its Official: Disney Has Bought FOX for $52 BILLION. So What Does That Mean for the Avengers and X-Men?

By on • ( 2 Comments )

Yahoo – After weeks of rumors, the deal is done — Disney will buy up large chunks of Rupert Murdoch’s Fox media empire for $52 billion. The list of what it won’t take is shorter: the Fox News cable channel, broadcast networks and Fox Sports, which are expected to spin off as their own business. The Disney conglomerate adds the Fox movie and TV studios (including big-name franchises like X-Men, Avatar,Alien and The Simpsons), it now has majority control of Hulu, cable channels like FX/FXX and more.

Thats Billion with a B. I’m always a little surprised when giant acquisitions like this actually go through with all the concerns around monopolies. Remember when DraftKings and FanDuel announced a merger last year? Well the United States government disagreed and basically nixed that entire deal. Whoops!

Now onto what everyone cares about from this gigantic deal; the X-Men are finally back under the Marvel umbrella via Disney. It remains to be seen what exactly Disney and Marvel will do with Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, but I am stoked for potential crossovers down the line (and maybe a Fantastic Four movie that doesn’t blow goats).

Its probably a little too late in the game to expect any current X-Men to show up in Avengers 3 or 4 as they bring Phase 1 to an end. Sure, maybe there’s some easter eggs or brief cameos thrown in, but X-Men has a ton of shit already going on they probably need to handle first. There’s the upcoming “Dark Phoenix” movie with my girl Sansa Stark seemingly taking the reigns of the franchise as X-Men does a second take on Jean Grey’s Phoenix character, which they royally fucked up in X-Men 3. *shutters*

Phoenix is slated for a November 2018 release. I haven’t seen much about that one yet, but I’m a huge fan of the X franchise so I’m always juiced for a new one. They’re not always critically acclaimed, but they always do their own thing and take some chances rather than rolling out the same old storylines. They did an entire movie around time travel for christ’s sake in “Days of Future Past.”

There’s also the incredibly intriguing spinoff/horror movie “The New Mutants” coming out in 2018, which the director has already hinted at being a trilogy.

The one thing that does worry me about this acquisition though is Marvel hitting the wrap it up box on the current X-Men universe before rebooting them AGAIN.

Disney/Marvel was not shy about rebooting Spiderman and introducing a third Peter Parker in less than 10 years.

Granted, the GOAT X-Men Wolverine played by Hugh Jackman is allegedly retired from the game so people probably wouldn’t cry too hard if Marvel went in another direction with a new flock of mutants.

Also, good luck fixing some of the inconsistencies that already exist now that both studios are under one roof; most notably the fact that there are two Quicksilvers. One, played by Aaron Taylor Johnson who (spoiler) got gatted in Avengers: Age of Ultron.

Then there’s the FOX version of Quicksilver, Evan Peters, who is still alive and well.

So that character will either require some rickety duct tape explanation for being alive (and deciding which actor will actually play him) or he’ll most likely just get kicked to the curb, which is a shame.

I’m sure there are more of these inconsistencies as FOX owned the rights to X-Men, but not all of the individual X-Men characters, which is why garbage spin off shows with fringe mutants like The Gifted and Inhumans even existed in the first place.

All I ask is that the executives over at the Mouse don’t neuter Deadpool. It took years of Ryan Reynolds campaigning to get that movie made the way it was made and it was a goddamn mega-hit. Don’t fix what ain’t broke.

Now give me a Magneto vs Iron Man battle ASAP.

Derek Jeter, the King of Optics, Continues to be a Walking PR Disaster as Marlins Owner

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Derek Jeter, Mr. Yankee, the guy who did it “right” sure is piling up the PR blunders as he got bagged on TV at the Dolphins game last night after being a no show at the MLB Winter Meetings the day before. The perception of him as a newly minted CEO is somewhere between aloof and Jeffrey Loria 2.0. Not great. First he comes into Miami, after the MLB gifted him the team despite a better bid from Jeb Bush, and axes franchise icons left and right. This included firing a guy while he was in the hospital after undergoing colon cancer surgery. Not to mention Jeets wasn’t even doing the firing himself. He had a guy he had already fired deliver the bad news on his behalf.

Then it came out that he hadn’t even SPOKEN to Giancarlo Stanton. Ya know, the franchise’s all-time greatest player. May want to shoot him a text or something. Jeter then announces to the world his intention to gut the team’s payroll and likely trade off said Miami legend, Giancarlo Stanton.

Man, he must be fucking awesome at poker. Jeter then proceeds to work out finalized trades with the Cardinals AND Giants before actually asking Stanton if he’d accept a trade to either team. It was reported that the Marlins threatened Stanton to either accept one of the trades or he’d be a Marlin “for the rest of [his] life” surrounded by no talent on a losing franchise. Wow.

Naturally, once Stanton blocked those trades, Jeter was basically up shits creek with zero leverage and old friend Brian Cashman *knew* it. The goddamn Yankees snuck in under the cover of darkness and robbed Jeter blind by basically eating the contract, sending over Starlin Castro and a few bum ass prospects. For a guy who just hit 60 home runs. Unbelievable.

So after all that, you would think the CEO of the team, who had his dick sucked by the media for nearly two decades, would merely show up to the MLB Winter Meetings to answer a few questions and play some grab ass with the media. Nope, total no show. And the baseball nerds were PISSED. Even guys like Buster Olney are starting to turn on Jeter.

To top it all off, the very next day Jeter gets BAGGED on national TV sitting in the luxury box at the Dolphins game in Miami. A mere one hour flight from where the Winter Meetings are taking place in Orlando. And he knew it too.

In his first time speaking to the press as a member of the Yankees Giancarlo Stanton wasted no time in ripping the Marlins and how they go about their business. In a matter of a couple of months on the job Jeter has already blown through most of the goodwill he had earned over the years as a figurehead of the Yankees dynasty.

AND ITS NOT EVEN JANUARY YET.

Yea Jeets.

LiAngelo Ball and LaMelo Ball Both Turning Pro to Play Together in Lithuania

By on • ( 1 Comment )

ESPN – LiAngelo and LaMelo Ball have reached an agreement to sign professional basketball deals with Lithuanian club Prienu Vytautas, the team’s coach/GM Virginijus Seskus and Ball family agent Harrison Gaines told ESPN’s Jeff Goodman. After ESPN reported on the seriousness of the talks between the Ball brothers and the European team on Monday afternoon, the two sides finalized the agreement hours later.

This week in LaVar Ball’s continued efforts to ruin his kids lives, dad is sending his kids off to go play professionally in LITHUANIA! Ball in the Family season 3 is going to be fucking must watch TV. You got LiAngelo going to Chinese prison for shoplifting only to be saved by Donald Trump, LaVar pulling LaMelo out of high school and then pulling LiAngelo out of UCLA, and now both of Lonzo’s brothers with questionable basketball talent will be going pro and playing together in Lithuania.

Real talk though, I understand LaVar’s want to turn all three of his sons into NBA players, but at what cost?

This is not UCLA. To quote a morbid scene from the movie 300, this will not be over quickly, you will not enjoy this.

“Prienu Vytautas, or BC Prienai as it’s often called, is a low-level club from a small, non-English speaking village of roughly 10,000 people in southern Lithuania. The team has been grappling with financial issues and started the season losing eight of its first 12 games in the Lithuanian league…The club plays in a 1,700-seat arena; 500 of those seats are reserved for team sponsors and their friends. Tickets cost around 5 euros. The team has no general manager and doesn’t practice regularly due to the poor financial situation.”

Oh this should go swimmingly.

By all the reports I’ve read from the heavy hitters like Woj, LiAngelo is not considered an NBA prospect. Dan Wetzel said scouts told him LiAngelo’s best bet was to transfer to a mid-major and stay for four years, not burn every bridge and go play in a third world country. LaMelo may have a shot at the NBA, but he’s 16. Going from high school to playing against grown ass men in Lithuania does not seem like the smart route.

As Dan Wetzel put it on Yahoo:

“[LaMelo] will be eligible for the 2019 NBA draft and there is plenty to lose playing against grown men in the Lithuanian and Baltic leagues. LaMelo is 16. The two point guards currently on the Vytautas roster are 28 and 32. This isn’t the Nike AAU Peach Jam tournament…LiAngelo is not considered an NBA prospect at this time, no matter what LaVar says.

These kids grew up rich and pampered in sunny California with every advantage, raised by an overbearing father who controlled everything for them. Now these two are going overseas to a country where they don’t speak English to play for a team where they’re not even guaranteed playing time, let alone success. These two kids quit high school and quit UCLA after things didn’t go their way. Quitting this time would probably be a death knell to any serious NBA aspirations. Its sink or swim time boys.

Patriots Drop an Ugly Game to the Dolphins with Steelers Looming

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Last night the Patriots lost 27-20 to the Dolphins in a shitshow of a game. They didn’t have Gronkowski who was out due to suspension from the people’s elbow he dropped on a guy last week, but Miami hit em hard, shut down their receivers and even pretended to deflate the football (I guess?) after a TD.

It was ugly. For all the people saying this loss doesn’t matter, it’ll sure as shit matter if the Pats lose a tight one to the Steelers next week. Then the Patriots are facing the prospect of opening the playoffs on the road in fucking Jacksonville. Not like the Jacksonville is this powerhouse that you should fear, but the Patriots could very easily slip from the No. 1 seed with home field advantage to having to hike down to Florida for a playoff game in front of those diehard fans watching from goddamn swimming pools.

If we learned anything from this game its that the Patriots can lose one of Edelman or Gronk and still manage, but they absolutely cannot lose both. They won the Super Bowl last year without Gronk, but Edelman balled out all year and made all-time catches in the SB.

This year the Pats have been surprisingly fine on offense without Edelman because Gronkowski, Amendola, Cooks, Hogan, and the stable of runningbacks have shared the load. But without both Edelman and Gronkowski? Well without both the Patriots went 0-11 on third down last night. An absolutely absurd stat for a team that routinely moves the chains on offense. Without that horse of a man to draw double coverage and make big plays when you need em most, the Pats offense looked strikingly like their defense last night; a bunch of JAGs.

This was a game I worried about going into for the sole reason that dirtbag Ndamukong Suh gets off on hitting Brady late, low, and hard. And the delusional Dolphins fans that defend him.

The Dolphins have a legit defensive line with him and Cameron Wake, and Jordan Phillips, which we all know is the one thing that seems to disrupt the Pats. Throw in the fact that they ALWAYS seem to struggle when playing down in Miami late in the year and this had all the makings of a trap game with Pittsburgh looming next week.

So the Pats get down early for the first time in about a month of football and now facing a 17 point deficit, Suh and the boys are able to just pin their ears back and tee off on Brady. Not ideal.

Granted they almost came back and they probably would have if not for a ton of uncharacteristically sloppy plays. Not converting late in the 4th on 1st and goal from the 1-inch line is unexcusable. The Patriots did not look themselves at all with James White drawing an illegal motion penalty, Solder taking a holding penalty, and a couple of busted plays later the Pats are kicking a 35 yard FG. Granted they still would have had to recover an onside kick either way to have a chance, this series was a microcosm of the entire game. Bad execution, some poor throws by Brady, not enough time to throw, and just overall sloppy football.

Its for those exact reasons that I fully expect the Patriots to blow doors in Pittsburgh next week. Those guys are marshmallow soft and are feeling themselves just a bit too much for a team that has had to squeak out wins over dog shit teams. Over the past month the Steelers have beat the Colts by 3 points, smoked the Titans by 23, barely beat a Brett Hundley led Packers team by 3 points, beat the Bengals by 3 points, and the Ravens by 1 point. Not exactly the class of the AFC there. Sure, the Pats haven’t played the hardest schedule either, but before last night they weren’t just squeaking by like Pittsburgh. They were fucking demolishing teams, or tomato cans as Shanks likes to put it. Over the same period of time New England has blown out the Broncos by 25 points, the Raiders by 25 points, the Dolphins by 18 points, and the Bills by 20 points.

Don’t be surprised when they take the Steelers to the woodshed on Sunday.

Seattle Approves $660 Million Stadium in the HOPE an NHL Team Will Come

By on • ( 1 Comment )

SI – The Seattle City Council approved a plan Monday to renovate the aging Key Arena with the goal of attracting an NHL or NBA team. The $660 million project and any cost overruns will be covered entirely by the Los Angeles-based Oak View Group. The company claims it can reopen the arena by the fall of 2020. Seattle has tried numerous times to build a new arena for a potential pro sports franchise but previous efforts have been unsuccessful.

Holy shit, I know people on the west coast are a lot more optimistic than my brethren here in the Northeast, but even this is wild. I’m sure there have been some wink, wink agreements, but I ain’t putting a goddamn dollar down unless I have something in writing about a pro team coming to town. Otherwise you’re going to have the nicest facility in the country that Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran can play at once a year. Props to the city for getting a private equity group to cover the costs. As Miami will tell you, saddling a city with the bill for an entire arena is a goddamn disaster that residents end up paying off for 30 years. If the Boston Red Sox themselves threatened to leave town unless the city paid for a new stadium with the public’s tax dollars, I’d drive them to the airport myself.

The Supersonics leaving Seattle remains one of the all-time great screwjobs in sports history. Especially because they had JUST drafted Kevin Durant and you saw how great he was going to be.

Then they up and moved to OKC and formed the Thunder. I would be so goddamn bitter if that happened to me. Like if the Celtics just moved to Milwaukee, I’d probably never watch the NBA again. Which is probably why they’re shooting for an NHL franchise. If you get dumped you don’t go crawling back to your ex asking them to take you back. No, you find a chick thats twice as hot and flaunt that shit. AKA a shiny new stadium with a new NHL team for a ravenous fanbase.

I hope it works out for ya Seattle, I truly do, because there is nothing I want more than to eat sushi in the bleachers at Safeco Field. Combine that with a little Starbucks brewery tour and an NHL game? Now thats a pretty sweet little trip.