Category: General

Arizona/Philly. Game 7. Who ya got?

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Game 7 of the National League Championship Series is in Philadelphia tonight, and I am torn. Pulling for Texas in the American League Championship Series was a given. Picking a team to root for in the NLCS is a lot harder.

A lot of times in games like this, games that do not involve Boston and have no implications for a Boston team, I want both teams to lose. A recent example of that was last years Chiefs/Eagles Super Bowl. That’s not the case for tonight, though. There are good reasons to pull for each side tonight. Even Philly!

First, let’s take a look at Arizona. They are easy to root for because they are (checks notes) not from Philadelphia. It’s also fun to root for an underdog. Arizona was the last team in the playoffs this year and are one game away from the World Series. And while their current uniform offerings are a bit of a mess, millennials everywhere look back fondly on these beauties:

The Diamondbacks GM Mike Hazen is also a local guy and former Red Sox front office executive. If that’s not enough, he recently re-upped with the D-Backs instead of potentially returning to the Nightmare on Jersey Street. Good for him, and enjoy the warm winters in the desert. And that brings us to the case for the Phillies…

Hazen’s last year in Boston was 2016, when he worked under Dave Dombrowski. Dombrowski of course is now the head baseball man in Philly. There are lots of reasons to root against Philadelphia in anything, including but not limited to the abhorrent behavior of so many of their fans. I’d sooner wear a Red Sox hat in the Bronx than a Patriots jersey to Lincoln Financial Field. But that’s not what this post is about. This post is about reasons to root for each side, and a win for Dombrowksi and the Phillies would be a great way to stick it to John Henry and the Red Sox.

Dombrowski was Boston’s top baseball man for nearly four full seasons (2016-2019). In those four seasons, the Red Sox won 58.3% of their games, including a team record 108 in 2018, three consecutive division titles for the first time in team history, and the 2018 World Series. He also hired Alex Cora in 2018, one of the top managers in the game today. In the midst of all that winning, though, I guess he didn’t pay enough attention to the farm system. And winning isn’t cheap. So for those crimes he was fired in September of 2019.

Dombrowski is a hall of fame executive. He is one of the last old school baseball guys and not an analytics-obsessed GM. It’s hard to forget how dirty the Sox did him when they showed him the door. His successor in Boston, Chaim Bloom, also met a similar fate as the Red Sox Chief Baseball Officer. While Bloom didn’t have nearly the success Dombrowski did in Boston, it’s tough to see a guy get fired for doing what he was asked to do (cut payroll, rebuild a farm system, and still field a somewhat competitive major league team). I say that as a guy who is only somewhat more hesitant than peak George Steinbrenner when it comes to making firings.

Which is why the Red Sox find themselves where they are today. There appears to be little interest from qualified candidates for what should be one of the best jobs in North American sports. So a win for Philadelphia tonight could be seen as a rebuke of the way business is being done in the Fens these days.

That being said, it’s also never a bad day when Philly loses. I just hope the light poles are greased.

The 300s Reviews Taco Bell Chicken Nuggets

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Earlier this week I heard whispers of a new Taco Bell menu item being rolled out in a select market. As David Letterman used to say, “I just pray to God that your city has been selected.” Well, the fast food gods were smiling on me because my market was selected and that’s how I got my hands on the latest innovation from Taco Bell.

Well, it’s not really an innovation. The Bell certainly didn’t reinvent the wheel to pump out chicky nuggies. Even nacho fries, which I love, were a little more innovative. If anything, the dipping sauces were more innovative than the nuggets themselves.

My first thought when opening the box was “oh shit.” These nuggets looked strikingly similar to the worst fast food nuggets I’ve ever had the displeasure of eating (congrats Sonic!). But they were actually somewhat juicy and tender, and not covered in a Michelin Tire-like coating.

The nuggets themselves were not that much of a departure from your standard (non-McDonald’s) nuggets. I didn’t sense any special seasoning on them, like there is on nacho fries. But the sauces were surprisingly good. The two nugget dipping sauces were “Bell sauce” and a jalapeno-flavored honey mustard. The Bell Sauce tasted like thicker Taco Bell sauce you’d get out of the packet and was the better of the two, but the honey mustard packed good flavor and wasn’t too spicy.

Eating the nuggets dipped in the sauces was actually a similar experience to boneless wings at Buffalo Wild Wings.

So what’s the verdict? I wouldn’t go out of my way to grab Taco Bell chicken nuggets the way I would a Crunchwrap Supreme. But I won’t go so far as to say they serve no purpose. My guess is that Taco Bell chicken nuggets will be most popular in late night group orders. A good add on, or an option for the one guy in the car at 1 AM who doesn’t want a taco. I can’t imagine them being too popular with the younger set, though. (Sorry, dads who would rather a Chalupa than a Quarter Pounder when grabbing chicky nuggies for the kids.)

I didn’t order the meal, as I wanted 10 nuggets to try both sauces (could only do a meal with five nuggets). A 10-piece with both sauces ran me $6.99 before tax. Overall, I give the Taco Bell Chicken Nuggets a 5.8. Good, not great. Won’t go out of my way to grab these again, but I could see myself eating a few in addition to my next quesadilla. The dipping sauces helped the score. McDonald’s and the other chicken fast casuals do not need to press the panic button.

A Bit of “Inside Baseball” On These “Layoffs” and How You Can Avoid Them Maybe IDK

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Why does a semi-retired part-time blogger think he has the qualifications to speak on the goings on of the American business world?

Fair question. The two main things are I used to work in the recruiting/HR space and I also have been through four layoffs (surviving three) so I have a bit of a unique background in terms of discussing this specific topic. I just kind of “get it,” in my opinion at least.

To begin, it’s important to understand that anyone who works in a department outside of the groups that are actually making the company money (ex. in tech, the product teams, sales, marketing, etc.) works in a department referred to as a “cost center.” This literally means you are costing your company money for doing work that supports its operations. But you are indeed not making them a cent.

With that understood, here is my general view of what’s gone down.

Let’s first assume we all know companies (we’re going use the tech sector for this discussion) make stuff to make money. Right? And once the company and it’s original employees are making and selling so much stuff that they can’t do it alone lest they work 24/7 they start to hire people to do some of that work. Right? Makes sense so far?

Well over the last couple years (ish) companies have been doing well. They’ve been making and selling a lot more stuff. The money made from selling that stuff is called revenue. And as revenue has grown they’ve hired a lot more people to support the business. A lot of companies even predicted that revenue would keep steadily growing so they hired way ahead of their current numbers. They thought that sales would catch up with headcount and operational cost because of course they would! We’re killing it!

While this was all happening a lot of these companies also made a mistake that is becoming more and more common. You might have heard some variation of the phrase “stay close to the money” in terms of these layoffs the past few weeks. That phrase basically means, “don’t veer too far away from what made you make money in the first place.” And too many companies did not heed that advice. They decided to proof-of-concept (POC) or straight up begin building out new lines of business in which there was no guarantee of an actual revenue stream, let alone profit (more revenue than costs associated). So basically even if their normal revenue stream(s)/original business was doing well these pie in the sky side projects could be tanking their business. How exactly? Well what I failed to mention was the HUNDREDS IF NOT THOUSANDS OF FUCKING PEOPLE they hired to support them. So ya. Not great.

Now we cut to 2022 and these tech companies and 1. revenue and the overall operational business needs have not caught up to the amount of people hired. Yes, this does have to do with the economy to some extent because if their customers just had cash to burn they’d be like “fuck it buy a zillion software licenses.” But that’s only a small part of the problem. Then we get to 2. Those shiny side project that these companies have spun up are not making nearly the amount of money they thought, or any at all, so they are paying a fuckton of people to basically bury their business.

And this is where layoffs come in. As I mentioned it’s not necessarily an economic downturn. The business has just has too many people compared to what they need to operate the business at the “size” (how much stuff they need to make to produce the revenue they are creating) they are at.

And remember those “cost centers” we discussed earlier. Well when business are booming they tend to really invest in those areas. Because fuck it, why not? Isn’t it great for the brand to have a Sr. Director of Hiring Experience? Sure it is. It makes you look good to the talent market and shows you really care about your hiring process. Is it at all the fuck necessary to pay someone that much to do that extremely specific, not totally necessary job? Nope!

And so the fat begins getting trimmed. And it usually starts with the cost centers. It’s a recruiter massacre usually. Learning and development and HR usually get hit hard too. Then outside of the cost centers even middle of the road Marketing will generally also take it off the chin.

And then they come for those working on the projects making no money. Those ones we talked about. Sure, you’re a kickass Engineer/Architect/Product Manager, etc. but what you’re working on has spent two years costing the company money. Better hope the company could use your talents elsewhere or you’re out. And good companies will do that by the way. They’ll evaluate those getting cut and see if they can use them elsewhere. It sucks to lose someone excellent just because the exact thing they are working on isn’t a good fit for the company anymore.

Given that that is my take on layoffs in general, the other question is how to avoid them. Well, that really goes all the way back to your job search in my opinion. But I want to make it abundantly clear I am not picking on anyone’s career choices or trying to be mean. Do something you love and you’ll never work a day and all that, but you have to know when reviewing the ads for those Sr. Director of Hiring Experience roles that you will always be at tremendous risk at being “the first to go.” So rule one is finding a role that is necessary to the company, literally. The further you get away from that the more at-risk you’ll be.

Rule two is taking a step back and measuring how important the thing you are working on/supporting is to the company. Are you working on “the” product or a side hustle the CEO is trying to kick off for shits and giggles. I remember a killer engineer I recruited years ago that was working at a leading home coffee machine company. They were trying to create a new line of their very successful coffee makers that could basically be some sort of IoT of coffee machines? Or something? Ya needless to say he was pretty sure the whole unit he worked for was being laid off soon despite how talented he was. Rule Two basically states that again, even if it’s a cool new thing you’ll be working on at least make sure it has real market heat or is already making money or you’ll be at high risk to lay offs.

For Rule Three we take a final step back. This really applies to start ups (we are talking tech this AM). Here we ask ourselves about how viable the company itself here. Do normal or even slightly bad economic conditions support this company? If companies or people need to tighten their purse strings, will your company be the first to get dropped from their spending? Or maybe is your company a flash in the pan? I mean I feel horrible for the people let go at Peloton, but honestly how long was that ride going to last PUN FUCKING INTENDED BOO YAH. No but seriously it always sucks to see someone lose their livelihood but I can’t imagine thinking that the Peloton boom would last forever. Especially considering how much in-person group spin classes and studios were on the rise just pre-pandemic. So ya Rule Three, make sure your company has some legs and can actually make it.

Again, this was all one man’s opinion. If I can give myself and my brain credit for one thing it’s that I’m (and it is) the ultimate pragmatist. Don’t make things too confusing. Just admit when Meta and Google hired 10,000 recruiters and then watched shit slow down on them and move on. It’s going to happen from time to time.

Best of luck out there. It’s a weird and scary place in corporate America but not impossible to navigate with the help of some simple rules to follow.

Until next time.

-Joey B.

The Lockout is Over!

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While my life would not be terribly impacted by a protracted baseball labor dispute, it is good to see that we will be getting a relatively normal baseball season this year. While the season may be starting a few days later than originally planned, I consider that win. Who wants to watch baseball in Cleveland in March anyway? My ideal opening day is actually the same day as the NCAA men’s basketball National Championship game. It won’t work out that way this year, but if it gets us out of Cleveland in March I’ll take it.

It’ll be good to have more than a dozen games to choose from on most nights. I’d rather watch a few innings of a Cubs/Cardinals game than scroll to the bottom of Netflix just to watch “The Comeback” for the 300th time.

Also, I’ll be a part of that thirty-something bachelor party Joe talked about a few weeks ago (no word if I’m a Stu or a Phil) and am thankful that baseball will be played that weekend. It’s always nice to have a sporting event to build those weekends around. Especially in flyover country. It’ll be a hell of a lot cheaper to put back some beers at a baseball game I won’t pay attention to than at a country music concert I won’t pay attention to (which was the backup plan).

But in addition to just getting baseball back, and some important financial gains for players, it sounds like there will be some improvements to the on-field product as well. A subtitle for this CBA could well be The Base Ball Modernization Act of 2022.

  • I am all in favor of the Universal Designated Hitter. If Shohei Ohtani wants to hit on days he pitches, he still can! That is fun to watch, and it’s always fun to see a pitcher go deep! But that so rarely happened. Most plate appearances for pitchers were perfunctory bunts, strikeouts, or groundouts. This adds more action to the game by replacing these plate appearances with more competitive plate appearances. It also speeds the game up by reducing pinch hitters and pitching changes.
  • I could go either way on expanded playoffs. A 12-team playoff sure beats a 14 or 16-team playoff, though. I’ll miss the potential for chaos with no more tiebreaker games, but if that means the playoffs can start the day after the regular season ends I’m for it. Also of note, the playoff teams in each league will not be reseeded after the first round. Not sure why hockey and football reseed, while basketball and now baseball don’t, but I am firmly against reseeding. If #8 beats #1, they shouldn’t be rewarded with #2 in the next round. They’ve earned the right to take on the #4/#5 winner.
  • Starting in 2023, every team will play every other team every year. This is a huge step forward. While it might not mean every team visits every stadium each year, at least you’ll get to see everyone else at least once. There’s no need to play half of your games against your four divisional opponents any more. Variety in scheduling is good, and allows MLB to schedule more creatively if/when necessary. Red Sox fans in Colorado and Phoenix rejoice!
  • Also in 2023 we could see larger bases, the dreaded pitch clock, and the shift banned. I have absolutely no opinion on the size of the bases. I do not care. I don’t love the pitch clock, but it has become a necessity. I am 100% in favor of banning the shift. You can’t play zone defense in the NBA. You can’t drill the center on special teams plays in the NFL. Ban the shift, improve the game, and move on.

It took longer to get a deal done than fans and players wanted, but it seems like there is enough here to make it worth it. I’m ready for winter to be over and to throw back some crispy boys at the ballpark. Let’s go.

Considering a Bachelor Party, Post-30

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It hit my inbox, and set off my phone, with the thud legal text hitting a desk in an otherwise vacant library.

There it was, the invite to our comrade’s bachelor party. It’s been quietly discussed and prognosticated upon in whispers. Here and there someone would bring it up, some hypotheticals would be discussed, and then the subject would change like the seasons. Suddenly it would just be gone.

But this was concrete. This was tangible. We had a date. We had a location. We had, as is always important, a “To” section of the email where you could scope out the identities of the other attendees. It was happening.

This is unlike other bachelor parties, however. This one is different. It is not altogether uncommon, let alone unheard of. But it does come with it a certain extra degree of contemplation in terms of how one intends to stretch out a celebration of the end of your buddy’s life as a single man over the course of a number of days.

You see, all attendees of this bachelor party are now firmly in their 30’s. Things are just different now. If the men of the bachelor party do not expect more from themselves than they did in their previous decade, well, society and/or their significant other certainly does so judgement will be coming from somewhere. Not that it matters. No, while many men hit 30 and take it as some kind of gun-to-your-head mandate to declare yourself tired all the time, some still enjoy their share of nightlife. So therein lies the true quandry of a post-30 bachelor party: who are the players involved here and how do they come together to form the team. It is, believe it or not, easier than one thinks to breakdown each of these types of RSVPs, along with his strategy for the weekend at hand.

The Low-T Guy is aptly named because he should be an actor in one of those commercials that peddle cures for guys with, you guessed it, Low-T. Now I am not knocking every last guy who no longer has his fastball, especially not every day. We’re in our third decade here. That’d be a big ask. No, I’m talking about the guy that just doesn’t even show a slight regard or any effort to have any fun whatsoever. It’s not necessarily that they fear the hangover or the look on their wife’s face when they walk in fresh off a plane and resemble someone that just escaped from Shutter Island. It’s that they in Peter Banning-like fashion completely lost the ability to have, and no longer have the memory of, a good time. So what should they do? The trick for the Low-T Guy is to find a perfect spot on a graph where the two axis’ are “Partying” and “Attending”. If you’re buddy wants to go the beach/pool, a few bars, a strip club, and and then, I don’t know, a comedy show, try and do all of that having a beer or two. Don’t be a noticeable downer, pretty much. We get it, you suck now. Just try not to make it obvious.

The Retired Guy has earned that nickname, and not something quite frankly ruder, out of respect for his since-ended career. In his heyday he was something, but just has aged out of being the focal point of an offense day in and day out. He will indeed show some flashes of what he once was, but he won’t expect himself to keep that going for, let’s say, three straight days. You shouldn’t either. You should respect his decision to make an appearance at a pick up game every now and again, where he will indeed light the place up with that once remarkable talent. In this case that means smashing unbelievable amounts of beers and possibly ass if he’s single. But again. It will come in waves only. If you are indeed the retired guy, just stick to that. When it’s time for the lion to come out its cage, roar. When it’s time to take a few plays off, let it be known.

The Steady Guy is an interesting case because he has probably played this role as long as you’ve known him. Aside from a the rare cases he gets shithoused drunk, he sets his pace and can keep it up without getting wasted until the cows come home. He did when he was 16, he’ll do it now. There may be one night of the bachelor party, when he is possibly consumed with nostalgia, that he goes a little harder than expected but he’ll even that out with a few moments of a slower flow before getting back to his normal speed. He’s the steady guy. If you are that steady guy in his 30’s good on you. It’s a great place to be.

The Carpe Diem Guy can literally be anyone from a complete train wreck to a snoozefest in day-to-day life but goes absolute hog wild during events like bachelor parties. To reiterate, he seizes the day. Beers, shots, possibly nose beers, all the strippers, as much shitty take out as humanly possible, and just the right amount of passing out in bizarre places is what is on the menu for this guy. He’s an unstoppable force. If I was the best man I’d simply just not try and babysit this guy because it is only going to fuck up your weekend and no one wants that. Plus, this guy knows who he is. He knows who he is and what he’s about. Let him do his thing. If you are the Carpe Diem Guy you know what? I salute you. You are a complete lunatic but good on you sir. Other than that, don’t let your good time fuck up anyone else’s via a visit from the cops to the AirBnB or a visit from your buddies to the morgue. Be an adult.

The Still Got It Guy is simply someone who still likes to party here and there. They like to have a few, knock em back, sip on Granddaddy’s ol’ cough syrup. Nothing wrong with that. He brings that lifestyle to the bachelor party. When it’s time to go he goes and can go hard. Once in a blue moon Natty Light Narcissus gets a little too close to the pond and falls in, but hey, it happens to all of us. The Still Got It Guy will often band up with the Carpe Diem Guy and the Steady Guy because that’s three men who know what they’re about, individually. If you’re this guy, make sure you’re not forcing the fact that you still got it on anyone else. They might not still have it.

The Chick Choosing A Restaurant Guy is named that because he’s not fucking sure. He’ll probably get hammered one day and not do dick the next. He’s an enigma. He’ll also inadvertently make different days of the trip hard to plan because he won’t know what side of the coin is landing face up that day. We raging? We sleeping? He won’t know until he gets into the swing of the day. It’s honestly not his fault, he’s completely discombobulated having not really been in this situation in awhile. My advice to this chap is to try and set your limits and such beforehand so that you can make a fair guess each day how you’re feeling.

BONUS: The Strip Club Guy is the one guy in a group of friends that LOSES. HIS FUCKING. MIND. At a strip club. More money spent than you thought possible and more services rendered than you wanted to conceive. He is a normal seeming guy when amongst civilized society, but in establishments of fleshly desires, he turns into a Goddam animal. I honestly have no advice for these guys. There’s no saving them.

So as I consider this post-30 bachelor party which I am to partake in I know who I go to battle alongside, although I do not know which armor they will inhabit. Will they be wildcard or a Snorlax? Will they bring back memories of sticky floors and dollar drafts or will they shock you with their newfound, new money love of narcotics? One can never truly tell when you get there. Just enjoy the ride.

Patriots Triumphant Return to the Playoffs Marred by Glorious Flameout

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Most of the goodwill Bill Belichick earned by bringing the Patriots back to the playoffs with a rookie QB evaporated last night after getting throttled by the Bills 47-17. The Pats were the gang that couldn’t shoot straight in a 30 point blowout with the Bills becoming the first team EVER in the Super Bowl era to score touchdowns on their first 5 drives of a playoff game. It also marked the second worst playoff loss in franchise history, second only to the 36 point drubbing at the hands of the ‘85 Bears in Super Bowl XX. At least that beatdown was to an all-time team though.

Not like this is anything new, but goddamnit did that game make me miss Tom Brady. Obviously no longer having the greatest player of all time hurts our chances, but you never felt out of a playoff game with TB12 (insert 28-3 joke here).

It was a disaster of a night that just snowballed with bad penalties, dropped passes, a defense that couldn’t stop Josh Allen through the air or on the ground, and routinely failed to set the edge. Any spark the Patriots had seemed to be snuffed out on Mac Jones’ endzone INT, which took an incredible effort from Micah Hyde to even make.

So where do we go from here? I’ll let the true football guys break down the All-22, but what seemed like a quote unquote successful year 24 hours ago now limps into the long, cold offseason after getting completely embarrassed on national TV. The Pats will get better, Mac Jones will get better, but last night showed that they’re a lot further away than we all wanted to admit from returning to true title contender status.

Joey B’s 2021 In Review – Quick Hits

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I had every intention in the world to do my normal multi-part series to wrap up this year. I had fun with it last year. But life is what happens when you are busy making other plans and all that. Plus this year felt like a decade and I am still finding out that actual events that involved my own human person occurred this past like, March, and not in 2018 and that is fucking wild.

So without further ado here are a few things that did indeed stand out.


The Twentieth Anniversary Of 9/11

Nothing, I don’t think, has ever made me feel older than remembering the 20th anniversary of arguably the most horrible day in American history. Possibly the worst part of this day was that we were all so burned out from the pandemic and every other shitty thing going on in the world that we didn’t even have it in us, in my opinion, to give it its due. Maybe that’s for the best in a way, as I’ve heard multiple families of victims say they’d rather not see it played on loop on their TVs once a year. Either way it’s not something we should ever forget. If not to remember how we all stood together for a brief few months after that.

I Was Reminded I Sort Of Caused The Pandemic

Being of a certain amount of Irish descent I fully believe in jinxes, karma, or whatever you want to call putting something into the universe that you may come to regret. I guess I briefly forgot about that at the culmination of 2019. For that I am truly sorry. It was during a discussion with a very close friend at that time. We were talking about where we were in life and where we wanted to be – our goals, our hopes, all of it. To that end we both had an odd feeling that we were on the precipice of some great happenings in our lives. Just an instinct that things were about to come together. And then we made the mistake of stating as such. I believe what was said was, and I quote, was, “2020 is going to be our year.” Needless to say three months later we realized how wrong we were. And a couple of days ago I was (fucking) reminded of that.

Long Live X

DMX was a man and entertainer who truly transcended any kind of labels you could possibly come up with – from his proper occupation, to his proper genre in the music world, to his place in the cultural zeitgeist. He was beloved by all of the generation during which he rose to prominence, famously hypnotizing a crowd of 300,000+ Limp Bizkit fans into mosh their faces off at Woodstock 99′. Unfortunately, he was also a testament to the phrase that the brightest lights burn twice as fast. His own demons caught up to him eventually. I don’t know how someone who goes that hard in every aspect of life was suppose to last too long. But he gave the world literally everything he had. There indeed was X.

Life Finds A Way (Back To Normal)

Memorial Day Weekend of 2021 marked the first weekend Boston officially “reopened” meaning bars and restaurants lifted all restrictions pertaining to Covid. It was glorious. Beers were drank, Ubers were puked in, Churches were broken into. Life seemed to be getting back to normal. Things have since gotten a little more dicey but it seems like for now the powers that be will stand strong in keeping life “open” as opposed to going back to the dark days of 2020 where there was nothing wrong with getting blackout drunk on my couch, alone, on a Friday at 6pm. It’s this writers opinion that at this point if you’ve taken your precautions, gotten vaccinated, and feel up to hitting the town you should be able to. If you are terrified of the reality we are never going to escape (probably), don’t. I don’t understand how this is still a debate.

A Guy Dressed Like Someone Going As A Viking To The Electric Daisy Carnival Leads A Storming Of The Capitol Building

Ya, that was this year. Insane. People’s reaction to this greatly interested me. Some sort of shrugged, ostensibly understanding that a small subculture of our country were indeed batshit and this just made sense. Some were shaken, our main federal governmental building and thus the epicenter of our nation had just been attacked by its own citizens. That is the kind of chaos saved for 2nd and 3rd world countries, not the great US of A. Some were even passively or directly supportive of QAnon Ragnar and thought he and his peeps were some sort of unemployed freedom brigade. I’m not here to talk politics. I just know it was a weird day.

Britney Is Indeed Freed

For whatever reason I can’t convince myself to care more about this. Maybe it’s because Britney Spears is indeed completely batshit. But good for her because her Dad has no right to control her money or her birth control (you creep).

Everyone Wears Big Dumb Hats Now

Have you ever observed a fashion trend from afar and just known that if you indeed participate you’ll hate yourself in retrospect? That is this new trend of coachella-esque big ass hats. It’s the ultimate red flag. If I see a girl in a big red hat I figure she either desperately needs it to have one discernable personality trait or she has MANY THAT SUCK and thus needs a now socially acceptable one to make up for it. Stop it with the hats.

You Cannot And Will Not Beat Dave Chappelle

Dave Chappelle put out a special in 2021. It was the last on his deal with Netflix and he is expected to sort of disappear for a bit again after this. So he went quietly with a pretty steady, run of the mill special.

Just kidding.

Among the other jokes he told and observation atom bombs he dropped he decided to slip in the fact that he isn’t 1000% behind the trans community, all over the course of discussing a trans friend of his who had committed suicide. The backlash to this bit was swift and furious. And one gigantic misstep. At this point the powers that be in the trans community probably should know that Dave Chappelle is a.) A comedian that takes his job as someone who lampoons every last inch of society very seriously a.) Therefore is largely considered above reproach as it pertains to doing that job. The calls for his head weren’t nearly as notable as the calls for him to sit down with local (Los Angeles) leaders of the trans community. I cannot begin to imagine the smirk of Dave Chappelle’s face upon hearing very average citizens he had never heard of were demanding to speak with him. He in fact did not acquiesce to their demands and has since ridden out the controversy, which included an awkward moment or two with his high school alma mater. It is kind of poetic that in the year we lost DMX’s body, Dave Chappelle’s soul refused to die.

Gridiron Tales Week 3: Back The Cats In Houston Edition

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Fantasy football running back depth charts: Safest backfields, committees, handcuffs for 2021 - DraftKings Nation

Last Week: 0-5 (-5 units)

Recap: A lot of bad things occurred; nothing more, nothing less.

First Thursday Pick: Christian McCaffrey O5.5 receptions (-115)

Fact #1: CMC has logged 9 and 5 catches, respectively, over the past two games and the latter came through roughly three quarters of play before he got hurt and did not return.

Fact #2: The Texans have given up an average of 4.5 catches to RBs over the first two weeks.


Second Thursday Pick: Chuba Hubbard O2.5 rec yards (-115)

Fact #1: After playing just 11% of the snaps in Week 1 vs the Jets (a close game), CMC’s injury + the score, raised that percentage to 25% in Week 2 vs the Saints.

Logic point #1: Many pundits except this game to be a very one-sided affair and at just 2.5 rec yards, he literally needs just one catch to make this come to fruition.

Fact #2: This will somehow be a game-long sweat!

Third Thursday Pick: Anthony Miller O22.5 rec yds (-120)

Fact #1: It’s his Texans debut!

Fact #2: Both Danny Amendola and Nico Miller are out with injuries.

Fact #3: I’m skeptical on the Panthers Defense because their first test was Zach Wilson in his NFL debut and their second test was the Saints without eight coaches, most of which were on the offensive side of the ball.

Gridiron Tales Week 2: Dak to Life, Dak to Reality Edition

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What would you do if the Cowboys offered Dak Prescott to the Jets? - Gang Green Nation

Last season: 25-18 (58.1%)

It feels so good to be back. I took Week 1 “off” from making official picks because I didn’t want to write prop suggestions based on feelings because I’m a stats and research kind of guy. Week 1 was enough of a sample size + I’ll very much utilize player history where applicable.

First Pick: Dak Prescott O26.5 completions at LAC (-105)

Fact #1: In 5 full games under Mike McCarthy, Dak’s completion totals are: 25, 34, 37, 14 and 42 last week.

Fact #2: At 55 points, this is the highest O/U this week, so points are expected to come early and often.


Second Pick: Jalen Hurts O19.5 completions vs SF (-130)

Fact #1: In 4 full games as the starter, Hurts has compiled completion totals of 17, 24, 21 and 27 last week.

Fact #2: This is a 9ers team that let Jared Goff and the Lions creep back into last week’s Game with 38 completions on 57 attempts.


Third Pick: David Montgomery O63.5 rush yards vs CIN (-120)

Fact #1: In Week 1, Montgomery turned 16 carries into 108 yards and a score vs a Rams team that did not allow a 100-yard rusher all last season.

Fact #2: I know the Bengals held Dalvin Cook to 61 rush yards on 20 carries, but no one believes Cincy is on the same defensive playing field as the Rams.


Fourth Pick: Chris Carson O68.5 rush yards vs TEN (-115)

Fact #1: Carson turned 16 carries into 91 yards against the Colts, who allowed the third-fewest rushing yards to RBs last season.

Fact #2: In Week 1, the Titans allowed 53 rush yards to James Conner and 63 to Chase Edmonds. With Rashad Penny out, that’s even more breathing room for Carson to take more of the rushing attempts.


Fifth Pick: Christian McCaffrey O6.5 receptions vs NOLA (+105)

Fact #1: CMC caught all nine of his targets vs the Jets.

Fact #2: In 6 career games vs Nola, his reception totals are 9, 5, 8, 1, 9 and 7. New head coach, but the feeding doesn’t look like it will stop.

COUNTERPOINT: Red Sox to Participate in UCLA Cosplay

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Gonna have to go ahead and disagree with Red on this one. To paraphrase Roger Ebert, winner of a Pulitzer Prize for Criticism, I hate these uniforms. I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate these uniforms.

Keeping 'Siskel and Ebert At the Movies' Alive - High On Films
Red and Big Z weigh in on the newest Red Sox uniform.

The one constant through all the years, Red, has been baseball. For the past 90 years, the Red Sox uniforms have been nearly as constant. Sure, the Bosox font on the front of the jerseys and on the cap has been tweaked a bit since the days of Ted Williams, they wore red hats for a few years in the ’70s, and refreshed the road unis in the early ’90s. But you could watch any Red Sox game since World War II and immediately recognize them. This uniform feels like a stunt. A stunt better left to the Astros, Brewers and Rays of Major League Baseball.

This design just doesn’t do it for me. I understand the reference to the Boston Marathon (even though it won’t be run on Patriots Day this year), but couldn’t they use a little more, um, red for the Red Sox uniform? This looks like a random Boston shirt you could buy above Park Street. It’s a Boston Marathon softball uniform, not a Red Sox uniform.

What’s even more irksome is that this uniform feels like it is trying to one up the most significant addition to the Red Sox wardrobe since they ditched the pullovers after the Bucky Dent game. The original (This is Our Fucking) City Connect jersey:

Boston Waves Goodbye to David Ortiz: 3 Reasons We'll Never Forget Big Papi - The Prompt Magazine

No word if UCLA and/or Adidas will try to block this obvious copyright infringement:

UCLA Baseball: Bruins are the #1 team in the country

I know the Sox are trying to stay under the luxury tax threshold again this year. Hopefully they can sell a few of these jerseys at the souvenir store to raise a few more bucks. I know times are tough for John Henry and company. Maybe they could have a bake sale next.

Rovell says six more teams will unveil similar City Connect uniforms this season. Let me know when teams like the Dodgers, Yankees and Tigers participate in these shenanigans.