Category: Red Sox

Red Sox Reportedly Hire Ron Roenicke as Manager, Team Says Search is Ongoing!

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So it was reported earlier today that the Red Sox had ended their expansive search for a new manager and hired…the guy that sat next to Alex Cora all last season. At this point I do not care who they hire as the next lameduck manager, but at least by promoting last year’s bench coach in Ron Roenicke it confirms the Sox don’t believe any further suspensions are coming from the MLB sign stealing investigation. So that would be a positive.

Then later on came the conflicting reports and we were back to square one.

John Gibbons would be a terrible hire, essentially John Farrell 2.0, but he would make for great content since he’s a dead ringer for No. 2 in Austin Powers.

So who the hell knows what the Red Sox will ultimately do in their managerial search, but is any of this a surprise to fans? Something I thought of today as I cackled amidst all the chaos; do other fan bases find the same entertainment in watching their team implode or are we just fucked in the head? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the Patriots could win 10 Super Bowls and the Red Sox would still be the most entertaining team in town because they are a reality show. They’re either flying high and winning titles or failing in a spectacular ball of fire. The Francona smear campaign, Bobby Valentine, Pablo Sandoval, David Price vs Eck, the Mookie trade; it’s. always. something.

Welp, we still have four days until pitchers and catchers report so theres PLENTY of time to figure it all out.

With the Red Sox Dumping $59 Million in 2020 Salaries, is This the Year of Rusney Castillo?

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Rusney Castillo is one of the few mega-millionaires I actually kind of felt bad for over the years. The Red Sox signed him to a gigantic contract based off of a And1 Mixtape workout video (which seems to have been scrubbed from the internet) and he shockingly never really lived up to the hype. Well because of their seemingly never ending luxury tax issues, the Sox stashed Castillo in Pawtucket for the last 4 years. The reason John Henry is fine paying Castillo $11 million a year to play in the Ocean State? Because AAA player salaries don’t count against the major league payroll of course! So rather than maybe work his way into a 4th outfielder role, Castillo has been stuck in Pawtucket so the Sox can hide his money like it’s an offshore bank account. He’s been pretty good too with a minor league career batting avg of .293 in 467 games and he even hit 17 dingers in 2019.

And if you enjoy players sticking it to owners, it’s impossible not to laugh at Castillo forgoing free agency and the opportunity to play in the majors somewhere. Nope, he had a player option for $13.5 million in 2020 that he happily opted into knowing he’ll most certainly remain in AAA.

After slashing $59 million off the 2020 payroll with the salary dumps of Mookie Betts and David Price, there’s suddenly some breathing room under the luxury tax. So maybe 2020 is the year we finally see Rusney Castillo for a full season? Why the hell not.

Red Sox Trade Former MVP Mookie Betts to the Dodgers. Lets Break It Down

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ESPN – The Boston Red Sox and Los Angeles Dodgers have agreed to a blockbuster deal that will send former MVP Mookie Betts and left-hander David Price to Los Angeles for a package that includes outfielder Alex Verdugo, sources tell ESPN.

The trade includes a third team, the Minnesota Twins, with the Dodgers sending starter Kenta Maeda to Minnesota, which in turn will ship hard-throwing pitching prospect Brusdar Graterol to Boston, sources said, confirming a report by The Athletic.

Verdugo, 23, hit .294/.342/.475 with a 2.2 WAR in 377 plate appearances for the Dodgers last season. He took over in center field when A.J. Pollock was out. Verdugo didn’t play after Aug. 4 because of a back injury he re-aggravated while on a rehab assignment in September.

He is excellent against left-handed pitching and is under team control through the 2024 season. He will make the MLB minimum of $563,500 in 2020. He’s also a member of the Mexican national team.

Graterol, a hard-throwing, 21-year-old right-hander, pitched 9⅔ innings last season in the majors, going 1-1 with a 4.66 ERA. In the minors last season, the Venezuelan was 7-0 with a 1.92 ERA across three levels. He was rated the No. 83 overall prospect for 2020 by MLB pipeline.

In the words of Red Sox owner John Henry, “It’s not ideal.”

It is an absolute bummer to trade a dynamic, homegrown, and MVP level talent. Theres no other way to put it. A gross mismanagement of assets if you will, but a situation the Red Sox put themselves in. Mookie Betts seemed like a great teammate, a good dude off the field, and was fun as hell to watch, but he is a businessman. Thats not meant to be a knock because everyone should look to get paid what they think they’re worth, but that meant the Sox were never going to get a hometown discount, let alone sign him before he hit Free Agency. Lou Merloni told a story on NBC Sports last night about how Mookie’s been very consistent over the years on how he approaches these situations. Merloni brought up how the Sox offered Mookie a signing bonus of $300K out of high school, but he counter offered with $750K and threatened to go to college if the Sox didn’t meet his number, which of course they did to sign their 5th round pick. My point is the Red Sox saw the writing on the wall, had a value in their minds of what Mookie was worth and realized it probably wasn’t going to be what he figured to make on the open market next season so they chose to (barely) get ahead of it and recoup some assets.

Maybe if the Sox managed their assets a little better they could have not worried about paying top dollar to re-sign Mookie Betts next offseason. Drunken sailor deals given out to David Price, Nathan Eovaldi, and Chris Sale over the years put them in a tight spot financially. You can’t pay everybody. Or the team could have traded him last year to get a bigger return. However, Mookie was never going to sign before hitting free agency unless the Sox offered him $500 million so lets not pretend otherwise.

Oh, and let us never forget *when* the news of this trade actually broke.

The Return

Not great! This is where I do have a problem with the deal. I am an unabashed “Prospects Guy,” much to the chagrin of Big Z. My stance has always been I am OK trading Mookie Betts if it meant restocking the depleted farm system, which the Red Sox did not do here. They got one young major league outfielder and one pitching prospect. Not exactly a haul for arguably the second best player in the game.

The main piece of the deal is Alex Verdugo, who had a 3.1 WAR in 106 games at 23-years-old and will be under team control for the next five seasons. Not terrible. To be fair, prior to last season Verdugo was the Dodgers’ top prospect.

“One of the best pure hitting prospects in baseball, Verdugo recognizes pitches and controls the strike zone better than most players his age. He uses the whole field, repeatedly barreling balls with a quick left-handed stroke geared for line drives. Though he homered just seven times in 132 games last season, his hitting ability, bat speed and strength should translate into average power if he adds some loft to his swing.

As good as he is in the batter’s box, Verdugo’s best tool actually is his plus-plus arm. Despite average speed, he has spent much of his pro career in center field, where his instincts help him get the job done. Scouts are split on whether he can handle center on a daily basis in the Majors, but no one doubts that his arm would play in right.”

Then there’s also this, which I would like to chalk up to just a young guy being a young guy, but Boston fans will have zero patience for that as the centerpiece of a Mookie Betts deal.

The Red Sox also received the No. 83 ranked prospect in baseball from Minesota with pitching prospect Brusdar Graterol, who’s *ceiling* is a No. 2-3 starter according to baseball guys like Sean McAdam.

The realistic hope is that Graterol turns into a young, cheap closer for the Sox. Boston absolutely needs a young flamethrower in the pen, but it seems like a player of that caliber could have come much cheaper. Graterol will be under team control until 2026.

Oh and the Sox will also be paying HALF of David Price’s remaining contract for him to play elsewhere for the next three years! Good grief.

The Red Sox screwed this up by not having a long term plan, which they haven’t had since Theo Epstein left town. They change organizational philosophies at the drop of a hat, which leaves you with these gigantic problems down the line.

Also, can someone make sure John Henry never gets in front of a microphone again? He hamstrung Chaim Bloom from Day 1 by announcing to the rest of the league that the Sox were looking to get under the luxury tax so every team in baseball knew the Sox HAD to trade Mookie. Add in the fact they were trying to shed Price’s contract too and the Dodgers were one of the only teams in the league that could make a deal work, and the Dodgers knew it.

Get your “It’s Not Ideal” shirts now!

The Contract

I don’t feel comfortable giving any player in the league a 12 year $400+ million contract, let alone a 5’9″ guy. If his power slips at all, that contract will be an absolute albatross, making Jacoby Ellsbury look like a bargain. Granted on those mega contracts you’re paying for the front half and hoping for the best in the second half, but tell that to the teams paying Ellsbury, Albert Pujols, Miguel Cabrera, and Robinson Cano just to name a few recent examples.

“Stop Rooting for Rich Guys to Save Money.”

Okay, this is one I need to address because I could not care less what John Henry’s ROI is on the Red Sox so I’m not rooting for one of the most valuable franchises in the world to save money. However, I am also an adult and realize the situation the team was in. Every business has a budget and yes the Sox could absolutely “afford” Mookie Betts, but by doing so they would blow through their budget, not to mention the landfall of luxury tax penalties they would have to bear for being a repeat offender. I’m talking fines, lost draft picks, international signing money etc. etc. You would be strapping your team by overreaching on one contract. Not an efficient way to run a business. And thats if Mookie plays at an MVP level for the next 5-12 years, which he won’t.

Looking Ahead

So by making the impossible decision to trade a home grown superstar player the Sox have freed up a ton of money AND gotten ride of that pill David Price. This is what Theo and his disciples fetishized as a “bridge year.” Take a step back in order to take two steps forward rather than dumping more money into the problem, which is exactly what got them into this situation in the first place.

You could say I’m a bit more optimistic, or at least pragmatic, than most of what I’m seeing on Twitter today, but make no mistake: the Red Sox just punted on the 2020 season. Ownership could have kept Mookie and made one last run at it this year even if they knew he wasn’t going to resign, but maybe they saw the writing on the wall. Eovaldi, Sale, and Price are always hurt, the Yankees are loaded, and this team’s chances of winning a World Series were precarious. So they figured to punt on 2020, and dump Mookie and Price rather than pay through the nose to field a Wild Card team.

Here’s hoping they now put together an actual organizational plan for the first time in a decade and get after it next year. At least we’ll have the XFL to watch this spring!

It’s Official: Truck Day Got Here Before the New Red Sox Manager Did

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It’s official! Truck Day has come and gone and we are now eight days away from pitchers and catchers reporting to Spring Training without anyone in charge. The Red Sox were in a tough spot with the sign stealing hysteria when they decided they needed to fire Alex Cora. That was nearly three weeks ago and we still are no closer to learning if the Sox are going to get hammered by MLB or escape with a slap on the wrist. It seems like John Henry and co. are wary of promoting from within in case MLB does throw the book at the Sox and suspend more coaches than just Cora. Firing more than one manager in a single offseason would be an unmitigated PR disaster.

The team has been pretty tight lipped about who they’re looking at to take over, but it did come out the other day they were interviewing Luis Urueta, who’s been a coach in the Diamondbacks system for the past 10+ years. Oakland A’s “quality control coach” and former Sox first baseman Mark Kotsay has also been a rumored candidate. At this point I don’t even care who they hire, but you absolutely cannot show up to Fort Myers in a week without anyone in charge.

I feel like Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross. Have you made your decision?

The Red Sox Can Pay Mookie Betts $420 Million or Trade Him for Pennies on the Dollar. Clocks Ticking

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I love watching Mookie Betts play. He is one of the best homegrown talents the Red Sox have ever had. Betts has been insistent on reaching free agency, much to the chagrin of the Sox, but I don’t blame him one bit. Know your worth and go out there and get it. If I’m John Henry though, do I really want to pay Mookie $420 Million?? That is a lot of Schrute Bucks.

The answer seems more and more likely to be no he does not.

I don’t know if Mookie wants to be here or not and it’s not really fair to look at contract negotiations and decipher one way or another, especially with both sides so far apart in total dollars. Sure you’d prefer a guy who loves Boston over someone who hates the fishbowl mentality of playing at Fenway, but thats not even my concern. My concern is this contract becoming a disaster relatively quickly. 12 years is a long, long time. We laugh when we look back at the Albert Pujols Angels contract, the second A-Rod Yankees contract,the Giancarlo Stanton contract, the Miguel Cabrera contract etc. etc. Now of course you’re paying for the front half of that contract where guys are racking up MVPs, Triple Crowns, and ideally World Series rings, but a 12 year deal would have the Sox paying Mookie through his age 40 season. How many 40 year old baseball players do you know?

And Dennis Quaid doesn’t count.

Again, it’s not my money so if the Sox want to break the bank then have at it, but the team is already mired in a (self imposed) payroll mess because they can’t (read: won’t) foot the bill.

Betts is an absolute stud and although he had a bit of a down year last year, he is only 2 years removed from an MVP season. I just worry about a 5’9″ guy making $35M a year until I have kids old enough to be wearing their Sox jerseys to MIDDLE SCHOOL. The Sox are in a similar situation right now with another homegrown talent limping to the finish line in Dustin Pedroia. I don’t want to speak ill of a fellow short guy, but Pedroia’s body just could not hold up and the Sox are now on the hook for a player who sadly may never take the field again.

So should the Red Sox trade Mookie? Well if John Henry didn’t show his poker face worse than Teddy KGB with a box of Oreos then yea maybe.

But the entire league knows the Sox are looking to unload Mookie and shed salary so they are getting lowballed by everyone. Granted a lot of the best deals that get done are the ones you never hear of in the press, but the best offer we’ve heard, according to the San Diego Union Tribune, is with the Padres for Wil fucking Myers plus “two young major leaguers and at least one prospect.”

“Myers led the Padres with a 4.4 combined WAR (wins above replacement) in 2017 and ’18 but last season endured significant slumps and finished with a .239/.321/418 batting line and -0.3 WAR.

Betts posted a 33.8 WAR over the past four seasons, second in the major leagues to Mike Trout’s 35.5 in that span.” 

Oh and eating at least half of Myers’ contract to boot? PASS.

God damnit. Always look for the blue check mark kids.

Ken Rosenthal also reported something similar with names like Manuel Margot and Kirby Yates thrown in.

Margot is a 25 years old centerfielder who hit .238 with 12 HRs, 37 RBI, a 3.04 OBP and 1.8 WAR last year. Solid. Kirby Yates (who the Sox actually drafted in 2005) is a legit reliever, was an All-Star last year, and had 41 saves and a 1.19 ERA with a 15.0 SO9 (K’s per 9 innings). However, he’s also going to be 33 before the start of the season and had 15 career saves in the 5 seasons prior to last year. MLB relievers rise and fall like the ocean so I’m not exactly dying to have one be the linchpin of a Mookie trade.

I would rather ride out the season and take one last shot at a World Series with a still borderline elite Red Sox roster (if healthy) and risk losing Mookie for nothing rather than dumping him for 30 cents on the dollar.

Now all the Sox need is a manager…

McNabb and T.O. Continue to Feud 15 Years Later While the Patriots March On

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Yahoo – Old grudges die hard. In 2005, Terrell Owens engaged in one of the most public holdouts in NFL history…his feud with teammates and repeated jabs at quarterback Donovan McNabb led to locker-room discord. The Eagles devolved that season from NFC champions to 6-10 and last place in the NFC East.

For that, McNabb is still agitated. He recounted the experience in an interview with Bleacher Report’s Master Tes released on Wednesday and blames Owens for breaking up a contender.

“I thought that was the major distraction for us,” McNabb said. “He’s doing sit-ups, he’s doing push-ups, he’s playing basketball, he’s ordering pizza for the people out there, and we’re sitting there in training camp just like, ‘You’ve got to be kidding me.’ …

“This is like ‘Days Of Our Lives.’ It’s unbelievable. But that was something that kind of broke us up.”

And this is why the Patriots are the Patriots and every other team in the NFL is forever chasing their own tails. Fifteen fucking years later, T.O. and Donovan McNabb are still sniping at each other in the media. McNabb even says in the interview with Bleacher Report that T.O. is what broke up the Eagles, which is the softest shit I’ve ever heard. Was T.O. an all-time asshole diva receiver? Yup, you bet. But, T.O. is also the reason the Eagles were ever that good. In 2004 McNabb threw 31 touchdowns, 14 of which went to Owens. It was also the first, and only, time McNabb threw more than 25 touchdowns.

But, I’m not here to bash McNabb because he was also one of the godfathers, well more like a distant uncle I guess, of the mobile QB revolution we see today. The guy was fun as all hell to watch so if he wants to bitch about T.O. in 2020 go for it.

My point is this is exactly why no team has ever replicated the Patriots’ run of dominance. The Pats literally had the biggest asshole in the league on the team this year in Antonio Brown. A guy who forced his way out of Pittsburgh, torpedoed his short stint with the Raiders, and then got cut by the Pats after a whole bunch of (alleged) dirtbag behavior came out. So the Pats dropped him like a bad habit and his name was never uttered again like he was Beetlejuice.

The Patriots are just experts in PR and damage control. AB is a legitimate disaster waiting to happen and currently has a warrant out for his arrest, but the team never let it become a distraction. This is the same team that, albeit disappointingly briefly, rostered Tim Tebow without any distraction, gave new life to perceived diva Randy Moss, and even had a convicted murderer on the team in Aaron Hernandez without it breaking up the team.
So my point is, T.O. did not ruin the Eagles and cause them to go from playing in the Super Bowl to finishing last in the NFC East the next year. The Eagles did that to themselves.

“It’s Not Ideal” T-Shirts On Sale Now!

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What a dumpster fire of a press conference that was by the Red Sox. A lot of quotes that made me cringe and/or laugh out loud. This one by John Henry spoke to me though. So much so that we had to slap it on a t-shirt because laughing is the only thing we can do to keep from crying. Buy a shirt now!

The Astros Got SMOKED by MLB, Alex Cora Got Fired, Yet Owners Still Aren’t Happy

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ESPN – The kneecapping of the Houston Astros went off Monday in exquisite fashion. Big names were fired. Draft picks were revoked. A record fine was levied. Pounds of flesh were exacted from egregious cheaters. The optics worked. The Astros’ comeuppance was here, and it was severe. Major League Baseball was righting an obvious wrong.

As the day rolled on and people around baseball pondered exactly what had happened, a less obvious version of the story emerged. It was all so tidy, all so clean, so carefully orchestrated and meticulously calibrated — like something the Astros, ever lauded for their efficiency and ruthlessness, might concoct…As much as MLB played the big, bad monolith in delivering the ruinous news from on high, this was not some unilateral punishment for the Astros. It was a sneak peek inside the sausage factory of power and the anger that Crane’s relative acquittal caused across the league…Multiple ownership-level sources told ESPN that dissatisfaction with the penalties had emerged following a conference call with Manfred, in which he explained how the Astros would be disciplined, then told teams to keep their thoughts to themselves..”Crane won,” he said. “The entire thing was programmed to protect the future of the franchise. He got his championship. He keeps his team. His fine is nothing. The sport lost, but Crane won.”

It’s a long read, but I definitely recommend you check out Jeff Passan’s whole story because it is a pretty fascinating peak behind the curtain. My first reaction to the Astros news yesterday was that they got absolutely HAMMERED by the league. The other owners don’t seem to agree. While I completely understand owners around the league still being bullshit at the Astros, this Passan story just shows how out of touch these team owners have become. What the hell do you want Manfred to do? He fined the Astros the largest team penalty in league history at $5M (and the maximum allowed under MLB rules), banned the GM and the manager for a year and took 1st and 2nd round picks from the team for the next two years. I know, I know the Astros will recoup most of that $5M, if not more in money saved from not having to pay those four draft picks.

With all things considered, thats still pretty, pretty savage. Especially for an organization like MLB that is basically setup like a franchise model thats comprised of franchisees operating their own businesses. For all his faults, Manfred is working with what he’s got here and a lot of that is playing politics amongst 30 billionaires. These owners have no idea what it takes to appease a boss, let alone 30 bosses that make 100x what you make annually, so to bitch and moan about the punishment rings hollow.

“Manfred’s report named Beltran as one of the players involved in the scheme, though the league did not discipline him because it gave players immunity in exchange for their testimony.

That choice registered publicly as another curious part of Manfred’s ultimate decision. What sort of disciplinary action clears players for a “player-driven” scheme? The answer is a practical one. Between the well-defined lines that held GMs and managers responsible and the fear of the Major League Baseball Players Association defending any discipline against active players and sending the cases into grievance hell, Manfred’s pragmatism here, though not satisfying, is understandable.”

Have these guys never watched a cop movie in their lives? Or an episode of The Sopranos? You gotta let some of the small time guys off the hook if you want to get anyone to talk about the Capos. This ain’t the NBA in the 70s where David Stern could just tell some bum owners what was going to happen and they had to accept it.

Now its just a matter of time until Alex Cora gets absolutely roasted himself. Passan cited two sources saying “the end of Cora’s time in Boston could be coming” Alex Cora got the axe from John Henry on Tuesday night. During the middle of the Jeopardy GOAT Tournament no less, which is about as big of a news dump as I can remember.

This came as no surprise because of the optics of the situation. There was no way the Sox were going to take that heat for a guy who in all likelihood won’t be able to work for *at least* the next year. AJ Hinch already completely threw Cora under the bus in the statement he released

Although Shaugnessy did a nice job playing both sides of the fence on this one and reported on Tuesday that the Sox may not actually fire Cora.

I think any reasonable person understands sign stealing happens in baseball and the more technology you add the more sophisticated the sign stealing is going to become. Granted it’s my favorite baseball team that is embroiled in this, but as former Marlins slugger Logan Morrison has said, he knows first hand of several teams that do the same type of stuff.

Manfred’s report directly references how teams like the Yankees were fined for doing the same exact thing in 2017. I mean Cora even joked about Carlos Beltran and how much he’s “helped” the Yankees after the Sox got bludgeoned by them in the London Series last season.

So lets not all start acting like this is someone stealing a $20 out of the Sunday School collection basket. This is a bunch of guys getting bagged doing something they should not have been doing and they knew it. This is not the 1918 Black Sox throwing a game and ruining the integrity of baseball.

Just take a look at the response Passan got when he asked an unnamed team president if he would take that hit for a World Series title:

“I don’t know that I would,” one team president said, “but I don’t know that I wouldn’t.” It was an honest answer.”

So everybody just pump the breaks on the hysteria train before you hurt yourselves.

The 300s Official Oscar Nominations Round-Up

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As many of you know, I like to go to the movies. A lot. Thanks to AMC rolling out their $20 a month for unlimited movies plan, I try to go at least once a week to see whatever is playing, good or bad. I’ve really gotten into the Oscars the last few years or so, and I’ve seen “pretty much” every movie nominated for the big awards this year, so I figured I’d run through the list and give some of my thoughts.

A good thing about this year’s batch is that there aren’t any movies nominated for Best Picture, that I’d classify as “Oscar-bait.” You know what they are when you see them. The “Call Me By Name’s, and the “Roma’s,” of the world. You absolutely have to respect them because of how well they are shot, directed, and acted, but the plot just never really hooks you or appeals to you at all. None of those this year, thank goodness.

(Note: there are still two or three movies that were nominated for the big awards that I haven’t seen)

On to the nominees.

BEST PICTURE


Ford vs. Ferrari: The ultimate Dad movie. Christian Bale, Matt Damon and race cars. What more could a guy in their mid 50s wants. My last two cars have been Subarus, so I wouldn’t be exactly what you’d call a “car guy,” but the last third of the movie where it focused on the 24 Hours of Le Mans, had me at the edge of my seat. That being said, the movie is a little too long, and Damon and Bale don’t make the characters all that memorable. I wouldn’t have nominated it for Best Picture.

The Irishman: Speaking of LONG movies, here we got The Irishman. An absolute epic made by and with some of the gods in Hollywood. Scorsese, De Niro, Pacino, Pesci. This is something I feel like I need to re-watch again because I watched it over three sittings on multiple days. I’d classify it as a “liked, but not loved it” movie. Pacino steals the movie with his role as Jimmy Hoffa. Just an absolute crazy man with some legendary rants throughout. Definitely deserves to be nominated for Best Pic, but I’d throw it in the middle-tier of nominated flicks.


Jojo Rabbit: One of my Top 5 favorite movies of the year. Taika Waititi can do no wrong for me. First Thor: Ragnarok, now this. He’s on an absolute heater and now he’s bringing Christian Bale into the MCU with his next Thor movie. Let’s. Go. A perfect mix of comedy, drama and tension. Waititi as a young, confused Nazi’s imaginary best friend (who happens to be Adolf Hitler), is just a ridiculous concept and he pulls it off so well. Sam Rockwell is in this too as a Nazi general, and you know he’s going to kill in every movie he’s in.  Also full marks to Thomasin Mckenzie (go see Leave No Trace, a great movie which literally no one saw. She kills her role in that.) and ScarJo! The year of ScarJo! Her two best acting performances in back to back flicks. I feel like not a ton of people saw this, but once it gets on high demand, I highly HIGHLY recommend it. 

Joker: Feel like this is the most divisive movie on the list. People either loved or hated it. Well except me, I’m kind of in the middle here. Joaquin Phoenix killed his role as Arthur Fleck turning into the Joker, and it’s a fascinating character story which dives into the problems of mental illness, and the lack of support for those struggling with the disease. I just didn’t like the “twist” at the end. It was pretty clear to me, that (SPOILER) he was making a lot of shit up in his head. The last scene of the movie with De Niro’s talk show host and Fleck was great tension, but there was also a lot of meh parts in it too. I didn’t think we needed to include the Thomas Wayne subplot. Don’t think it added much to the plot and it seems like it was shoehorned in there so you could be like “Oh, yeah this is a Batman movie.” I would have been fine with just subtle easter eggs that could have appealed to the comic book fans in the room.


Little Women: I clearly wasn’t the demographic this movie was intended for, but I still enjoyed this, DESPITE, the incessant chatter commentating on every single scene of the movie by the two middle-older aged women sitting next to me. And people think millennials are the problem with society… Greta Gerwig is one of the best directors in Hollywood and it’s a shame she wasn’t nominated for this. I hadn’t seen any of the older movies or read the book, so I was only vaguely familiar with the story coming in, which probably made me more engaged with the movie. Florence Pugh (Midsommar, Fighting With My Family) was probably the highlight of the movie for me and I was pleasantly surprised to see her earn an Oscar nom. She was definitely the highlight for me over her more-acclaimed co-star Saoirse Ronan. My biggest complaint was that they told this movie in a non-linear way, when I think they could have told it without switching back and forth between present and past timelines. I could see Gerwig choosing this method to differentiate this version from all the previous iterations, but as a first-time viewer it was a little muddy at times.

Marriage Story: If you were to ask what movie had the best overall acting this year, this would be my number one choice in a heartbeat. Adam Driver and ScarJo absolutely kill it in each of their roles and they have great chemistry together, despite the disintegrating chemistry of their characters. Laura Dern and Ray Liotta also provide a really interesting look at the cutthroat nature of divorce lawyers, although I wonder how realistic some of the tactics that they used actually are. It’s a really well-done movie that has you going back and forth siding with each side of the couple during the course of the movie, while highlighting the tiny details which can make divorce such a painful and messy process. The fight scene in the condo which was getting memed all over the internet may be one of the best scenes of the year. 

 

1917: HAVEN’T SEEN YET. 

Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood: We’re getting to my two favorite movies on the list now. I am a big Tarantino fan (Inglourious Basterds might be my favorite movie of all-time and I even enjoyed The Hateful Eight, which many people hated.) This is just Tarantino, Leo and Pitt at their absolute best. I could watch Leo and Brad do anything together, and it’s crazy that this is the first time they’ve ever worked together. Margot Robbie as Sharon Tate is awesome as well, and she puts in a great performance showing a burgeoning actress at the peak of her life who was on the cusp of superstardom. The whole movie, you are just sensing the obvious dread for her, until Tarantino throws a complete u-turn into the whole movie with one of the most incredible sequences I’ve seen in a movie in a while. My biggest gripe with the movie is probably that the acting scenes of Rick Dalton go on a bit too long, but I understand the necessity of them to fully understand and flesh out Dalton’s character.


Parasite: My favorite movie of the year. I was absolutely blown away. I came into this movie pretty much completely blind, just knowing that the film was completely in Korean and that it had a positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes. And it was awesome. It is essentially two different movies. The first half being a social commentary about class and wealth, and then halfway through, the movie is completely flipped upside down and becomes something else completely. It is a completely original concept and there really has never been a movie anything like this one. I really hesitate to say more, because I feel like not many people have seen this movie yet as it wasn’t even released in the AMC theater near me. Had to venture into Providence to go find it. Now that it’s nominated for Best Picture, it’s just going to get more and more buzz, I cannot recommend this enough. Don’t let the subtitles scare you away.

SNUBS

Knives Out: Damn, I wanted this to get nominated so bad. Such a fun experience. Daniel Craig was just born to play a Southerner, I guess? I love movies that plant little clues throughout the movie that are eventually tied together at the end, and this does it with the best of them. Also one of the funniest movies of the year, the running gags they have and some of the one-liners are just hysterical. Brilliant script and I’m glad Rian Johnson got at least nominated for screenplay. Only nitpick I have,is that the true “mastermind” was a little predictable, even if the reveal of how they did it was not.

Uncut Gems: Adam Sandler, Kevin Garnett AND Mike Francesa??? Yes, please. No Oscar nominations for this movie is super sad, because this is one of the more anxious and tense movies I’ve ever sat through. It’s also one of the noisiest. There’s no time to breathe, no silence. Something loud is happening in literally every scene. Just a whirlwind of a movie that absolutely flies by. Julia Fox is going to be an absolute star in the future. Must-see.

Avengers: Endgame: Obviously, no chance of getting nominated for Best Pic, but it would be criminal for me not to include it here. Brilliant end to a decade-long stretch of incredible movies.



Now, some rapid fire takes on the other five major noms :

Best Actor:

Antonio Banderas — Pain and Glory

Leonardo DiCaprio – Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood 

Adam Driver – Marriage Story 

Joaquin Phoenix – Joker 

Jonathan Pryce – The Two Popes

Haven’t seen Pain and Glory or The Two Popes. Still sounds like a three-way race between Leo, Driver and Phoenix either way. I’m a big Leo fan so I will be rooting for him to win it, but I think Joaquin Phoenix will get an overdue first Oscar. Sandler needs to be in here.

Best Actress

Cynthia Erivo – Harriet 

Scarlett Johansson – Marriage Story

Saoirse Ronan – Little Women 

Charlize Theron – Bombshell 

Renée Zellweger – Judy

Haven’t seen Harriet. Give me ScarJo here, although quick shoutout to Charlize Theron, she looks and sounds so much like Megyn Kelly in Bombshell, that it’s a little scary. Zellweger as Judy Garland will probably win and she was very good in her role, but the movie was a snoozefest.

Best Supporting Actor

Tom Hanks – A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Anthony Hopkins – The Two Popes

Al Pacino – The Irishman

Joe Pesci – The Irishman

Brad Pitt – Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood

Haven’t seen The Two Popes. Just a couple of no-name struggling actors in this category, eh. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, was a little different than I thought it would be, but very enjoyable movie, and Hanks absolutely deserves a nomination, and it is rightfully as a supporting actor. I would give this to Pacino, but I have no qualms if Pitt wins it.

Best Supporting Actress

Kathy Bates – Richard Jewell

Laura Dern – Marriage Story

Scarlett Johansson – Jojo Rabbit 

Florence Pugh – Little Women 

Margot Robbie – Bombshell

Not the strongest batch in my opinion. Robbie was better in Once Upon a Time, than she was in Bombshell. Dern was really good, but she was basically playing the same character as she did in Big Little Lies, and she had limited screen time. Bates was fine, but nothing spectacular in Richard Jewell. Comes down to Pugh or ScarJo for me, and I’ll take ScarJo here, but I think Dern wins.

 

Best Director

Martin Scorsese – The Irishman

Todd Phillips – Joker

Sam Mendes – 1917

Quentin Tarantino – Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Bong Joon-ho – Parasite

Bong Joon-ho is my new king, and he absolutely deserves this award. Although I wouldn’t be that upset if Tarantino wins. Mendes won the Globe, but I’ll reserve my opinions until I actually see the movie. Gerwig should be here instead of Phillips.

Top 5 Movies of the Year (NON-ENDGAME DIVISION):

5. Jojo Rabbit
4. Knives Out
3. Uncut Gems
2. Once Upon A Time… In Hollywood
1. Parasite

We Need To Talk

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Yahoo – Kate Beckinsale is not having it. The actress shut down critics of the fun snapshots she’s shared on Instagram over the last few days from a beach trip to Mexico. They show the 46-year-old Underworld actress in a couple of different swimsuits, prompting most people to shower her with compliments. However, a few commenters took issue with Beckinsale’s age.

Here’s the thing. We as a society have a very specific, subconscious place in our hearts. And to an extent our nether regions. I’d say 99% of people have it. And in this place we hold very dearly a very specific subsection of the human race. That populace would be the miracles that are the men and women of the world that simply don’t age. Or at least not when they’re supposed to. And to be quite clear there are more women on this list than men, which is pretty impressive considering the upkeep it takes to adhere to society’s standards. Given that women seem to be doing better in this little game, it’s no surprise that someone like Jennifer Lopez seems to hold the thrones currently – and despite the fact that my sources tell me she’s involved with one of the biggest frauds and douchebags of all time, I won’t argue with it. Men are a little different because there’s no way around the aging piece. But in terms of holding up looks I guess I’d go with Clooney? People still like Clooney right? Whatever.

A very notable member of this exclusive club, and my personal #1, is someone we will from heretofore refer to as Kate Fucking Beckinsale. She was in “Underworld” and before that “Pearl Harbor” and always had that “pretty, but actually really sexy and possibly a wild animal in the sack” thing going for her. She is honest to God fucking perfect.

And at 46, Kate Fucking Beckinsale is still an absolute fucking rocket. She is still throwing 104 on the black. She is welcoming younger, hungrier challengers in the ring and knocking them out in seconds. Come one, come all.

I could drop a “this is why the internet sucks” here but that’d be a little inaccurate. People having a forum for hating on Kate Beckinsale for throwing up pics their thirteen year old son suffered upper body blood loss to is not the problem. No, the problem is that they can disguise their motives. That’s what sucks. Former MMA fighter turned analyst/podcaster Chael Sonnen said something the other day I found interesting. He said there was an unacknowledged and misunderstood different between jealousy and envy. I don’t remember the exact definitions but basically jealous is a corrupt need to protect something you have while envy is the corrupt desire to have something someone else has. These haters of Kate Fucking Beckinsale are envious. Enviiiiiiiooooouuussss. EeNnVvIiOoUuSs. They log onto Tim Berners-Lee’s world wide web from the house they share with a dolt of a husband and 3 screaming kids and see Kate Beckinsale looking like a snack, the entree, and dessert all rolled into one and suddenly HATE that their bodies look like a fucking water balloon that is being squeezed by 4 different people at once. They HATE her for it. 46 years old. 46 and still looking better than some of these 46 year old haters’ daughters and possibly, in the south, granddaughters.

Don’t be them. Don’t be that envious. There aren’t many Kate Fucking Beckinsale’s out there.We can’t help. We aren’t going to look like that at 46. We probably don’t look like that now and never did. And that’s ok. That doesn’t mean mean we tear her down for firing off ‘kini shots at this stage in the game. That’d be like getting mad at Tom Brady for winning this stage in his. Smile, embrace it, and if you have a negative thought, well, shut the fuck up. That’s Kate Fucking Beckinsale you’re talking about.