Boston Movies 101

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Braxton Berrios, the senior wide receiver out of Miami who the Patriots drafted last week, has been billed as the next Wes Welker, Julian Edelman or Danny Amendola. Whether or not the 210th pick in the 2018 NFL Draft will have that kind of impact on the Patriots, or even make the team this year, is anyone’s guess. His tweet from yesterday brings up a good point, though. If you knew a guy who was moving to Boston, which movies would you recommend he watch to get a feel for the place?

[For this discussion I’m only going to consider movies released since Berrios was born in 1995. The Friends of Eddie Coyle and The Brink’s Job may have been great movies 40 years ago, but they don’t really help explain Boston to a 23-year-old today.]

Good Will Hunting Quintessential Boston movie that put two Boston stars – Matt Damon and Ben Affleck – on the map. Robin Williams won an Academy Award for his performance in this film. Possibly responsible for a resurgence of Boston movies over the last 20 years.

21 Based on the book Bringing Down the House, 21 follows the exploits of the MIT blackjack team. I debated whether or not to include this one on the list as the college students aren’t necessarily from Boston and a lot of the action takes place outside of Boston, but I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to showcase the Hub as a beacon of higher education.

The Town Ben Affleck is back in Boston (Charlestown to be specific) as a career criminal bank robber. This movie makes this list instead of The Departed because it features better accents and because the city itself is a bigger part of this movie. I don’t remember Frank Costello trying to take down Fenway Park.

Ted  A Boston comedy for the Family Guy generation. Mark Wahlberg turns in a solid performance in another Boston movie (after The Perfect Storm, The Departed, and The Fighter). This movie always sucks me in when I see it on FX. Eminently quotable and rewatchable.

Manchester by the Sea Yeah, this one is definitely a downer, but I’ve never seen an actor portray a Bostonian better than Casey Affleck did in this film. Casey Affleck won an Oscar for his performance in this film. Subtle townie references, including  Affleck’s Dugout Cafe t-shirt, reinforce this film’s spot on this list.

And Braxton, if you don’t have time to choke down these five films fear not. Seth Meyers can catch you up on most of what you need to know about Boston in less than five minutes.

Joe Kelly Watches Red Sox Game from the Bleachers, Continues His Rocket to the Top of My Favorite Athletes List

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I don’t know many Boston athletes that have had a more prolific rise in my rankings than Joe Kelly. Kelly was always fine. He’s a flamethrower on the mound, which always adds bonus points, but he’s never really had any defining moments on the Red Sox. He also hasn’t really lived up to the hype surrounding him when the Sox acquired a young power arm from the Cardinals. So I never had anything against the guy, he was just kind of there.

First we had the rise of Good Guy Joe Kelly. The dude goes out of his way to not only visit sick kids in the hospital, but he legit goes full costume to make a kid’s day. Dressed from head to toe as Green Lantern simply because it would make a kid happy. You don’t see a lot of that in professional sports.

Then of course we had the benches clearing brawl he incited by beaning that mouth breather Tyler Austin. Not only did he jumpstart the Sox Yankees rivalry, but he also was itching to fist fight the guy. Most pitchers will bean the guy then if he charges the mound they want no part of it. You often see the pitcher throw his glove at the charging batter much like a purse, until the first baseman or catcher can intervene. Not Joe Kelly, that guy wanted blood.

And now, while serving a 6 game suspension for the aforementioned beaning incident, he’s literally watching the game in the bleachers with the fans. This dude just gets it. A down to earth guy that visits sick kids in the hospital, lays the wood on the Yankees, and now is self aware enough to joke about taking in a Sox game while sitting where the real fans sit.

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Keep it up and I might have to invest $34.99 into a freshly printed Joe Kelly t-shirt jersey after a bakers dozens beers at Who’s On First.

PS – Who’s On First on Yawkey Way is now a goddamn trivia question as that bar, after incidents, fights, and shootings was forced to sell off and change its name. As did the street itself with all the well known issues surrounding the Yawkey name. So now when people ask how to get to The Bullpen on Jersey Street, you know where to direct them.

1st World Problems: I Have to Watch TWO of My Teams’ Playoff Games Tonight

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Do you want to know the definition of first world problems? I legitimately am upset, vexed even, that the Bruins and Celtics have playoff games on at the same time tonight.

Our embarrassment of riches collide as the Bruins play Game 2 of the semi-finals and the Celtics kick off Game 1 of their respective semi-finals as both teams are playing for a shot at the Conference Finals. What a time to be a sports fan in Boston. Combine that with the Red Sox being arguably the best team in baseball and the Patriots being the talk of the NFL with their draft decisions over the weekend. No time to dilly dally.

Is it a chore to go picture in picture so I can watch BOTH of my teams playoff games? Sure. Is it hard work to flip back and forth in between intermissions? Absolutely. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I now have my entire 6 pm-11 pm blocked off tonight. No time to watch The Office unfortunately.

Its time like these I almost envy the complete lack of passion from fans in cities like LA or Tampa. Just go about your day partaking in all sorts of activities. Me? I’ll be in front of the TV with garbage food that I 100% GrubHub’d and a 6 pack of moderately priced IPAs. Thats the cross I bear.

Drafting Georgia RB Sony Michel is the Most Patriots Move Ever

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The Patriots love to zig when everybody else zags. They absolutely love it, which is why drafting Georgia running back Sony Michel is the most Patriots move ever. Most teams these days seem to have all but agreed that the RB position is overvalued (except for the Giants). With absolute studs like Alvin Kamara and Kareem Hunt both drafted in the 3rd round, its no secret that you can find elite running backs after Day 1 so why waste the draft capital? So we’re all in agreement? Ok cool.

*Bill Belichick immediately drafts a running back in the first round*

Its the first time he’s even drafted a SKILL POSITION player in the first round since Laurence Maroney in 2006.

Zagging for days.

You saw it in recent years as the Patriots adopted the more commonly seen in college spread attack and hurry up offense, which all but eliminated the need for a fullback. Then most of the league gravitated towards a similar approach. Then the Pats shifted gears and started heavily utilizing a fullback in James Develin, who only made the Pro Bowl this past year. Or what about when the Patriots all of a sudden changed their offense on the fly and morphed into a two Tight End system? They proceed to wreak havoc on the league with a young Rob Gronkowski and Aaron Hernandez. Until one of them became a famous serial killer, but the point remains.

Sony was a beast at Georgia playing with the big boys in the SEC, where he averaged 7.9 yards per carry last year.

He’s also the guy that ended Baker Mayfield’s college career with the walkoff TD run in that epic Rose Bowl game earlier this year.

As Phil Perry points out, Sony’s ball control is a bit of a concern, fumbling 12 times in his career, but half of those came in his freshman year. The only thing Bill Belichick preaches more than Do Your Job is hold onto the football. Ball security is job security. So that’ll be something to watch. Perry also shed some light on another reason why the Pats may have fallen in love with Sony:

“But in the passing game is probably where Michel’s true value will be at the next level. He may be the best pass-protector at the position in this year’s class of backs (two hurries on 52 pass-blocking snaps, per Pro Football Focus), and he’s a capable receiver (64 catches, 621 yards receiving in his career).”

The Pats love a guy that can play in pass protection. Thats your No. 1 priority. Then running the football, and if you can also catch the ball out of the backfield? Well now we’re cooking with gas. Too many times in recent years have teams been able to either stack the box or just sit back in coverage because the RB on the field was either a battering ram (Blount) or a receiver (James White). Dion Lewis was excellent as a runner and a receiver, but he’s gone so Belichick got someone who can do both.

The Patriots are the ultimate marketing arbitrage in the NFL, buying and selling where they identify the most value. Everybody devalues running back these days? Time for us to snatch up a potential stud while you’re all sleeping on him just because thats what the rest of the league says you should do.

They are the tastemakers of the NFL. They’re not trying to do business as business is done, no they’re setting the trends themselves and letting the rest of the league react. And thats why the Patriots will always be successful with Bill Belichick running the show.

Plus if you are a fan, not an NFL Draft Analyst that gets paid to scout and report on players, who gets genuinely angry about who your team does or doesn’t draft? Then you are lying to yourself because any rational human being realizes that the only thing we really know about the draft is that we don’t know shit. So just sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.

An Open Letter to the Patriots and Patriots Nation: Baker Mayfield is About to Go #1 Overall to Cleveland and I am About to Become a Browns Fan

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Dear New England Patriots, Pats Nation, my colleagues here at The 300s, and anyone I’ve failed to recognize,

For almost three decades now I have been a dedicated fan of all four major Boston sports franchises without fail. The lows of the Bledsoe/(Dee)Brown/Bourque/…Valentin? slumps of the 90’s. The highs of breaking the curse, the Big 3, the Cup in 11′, and, of course, that slew of Super Bowls.

The Patriots obviously hold a special place among special places. They are our dynasty. They are our safety blanket. We worship at the Church of the Immaculate Hoodie and at the Statue of the Perfect Cheekbones. We were a down, downtrodden fan base and the Pats gave us hope.

With that said, Baker Mayfield is the balls. There is something about his chip-on-the-shoulder, “Fuck you I’m too small” self-confidence, electric style of play, and just pure competitiveness that is completely absorbing. He sometimes gets compared to Johnny Football, but Baker is a fucking mad dog QB1, a gunslinging sonofabitch who happens to be on the shorter side and can use his feet, as opposed to Manziel who always had a questions mark when it came to his arm and competitiveness.

So with that my dear, dear contemporaries I must confess that should the Cleveland Browns, the worst franchise in the history of anything – and I mean that, there were militias that were quite frankly paved by the Roman conquerors that looked better in comparison – draft Baker Mayfield, I must switch teams. I can’t root against Baker. His elusiveness as it pertains to law enforcement may not pass the sniff test, but he has the ability to drive the ball downfield and into my heart.

I hope you understand this is out of a love gained, not a love lost,

Best wishes,

-Joey Ballgame.

Tuukka Rask and the Bruins Avoid Near Disaster to Pull Out Game 7 Win

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Holy hell what a game. As many of my buddies that are not Bruins fans texted me last night; that was an incredible game, probably the best game of the entire first round of the playoffs. As a Bruins fan though? That shit was beyond stressful. From puck drop that game was a sprint and luckily, despite some massive miscues, the Bruins pulled out Game 7 in exciting fashion.

I’ve never been a TRADE TUUKKA guy. I think he’s fine. He can flash the mitt sometimes, but he’s not a top 3 goalie. He’s just not. Among goalies with at least 30 Games Played this year, Tuukka Rask ranked 15th in Save Percentage at .917, 17th in Shutouts with 3, and 15th in Quality Starts with 30. Its not like he was a workhorse either, he was 18th in Games Played with 54, which are the fewest games he’s played since the lockout shortened 2012-2013 season.

He’s also not a complete bum. He was 6th in GAA at 2.36, but holy shit does this guy have a scary tendency to disappear in big moments. Going into last night Tuukka was 1-2 with a .849 Save Percentage in Game 7s, which is cringe inducing. Still, thats a small sample size and anything can happen in a Game 7.

So what happens 2 minutes into the game? Tuukka gives up a goal. Ok, ok it was a powerplay goal so its hard to get on him too much, but this is a bad sign.

Bruins tie it 3 minutes later on a goal from Jake DeBrusk!

Less than 2 minutes later, Tuukka gives it right back.

Tuukka, buddy, you have got to be shitting me. Are you trying to get run out of town? I’m still waiting for Ol’ Milk Crates to make an appearance.

If you’re not familiar with that reference, back in 2009 when he was still playing for the Baby B’s in Providence, a young Rask gave up a goal to lose a game in a shootout and he went berserk. He goes after the ref, throws his stick, skates off the ice, walks down the tunnel, and then reemerges to chuck milk crates onto the ice like an absolute psycho. Thats the guy I wanna see. A crazy asshole.

Not to mention the short handed goal Rask gave up to Kasperi Kapanen in the 2nd period. It was a disaster of a play from the Bruins in the offensive zone ON THE POWER PLAY, and Marchand got bodied trying to get back in coverage. But still, Tuukka got deked out of his goddamn shorts.

It was an all around ugly play. If you want to be the man on a Stanley Cup winning team you need to pull some saves out of your ass every now and again, which Tuukka hasn’t done a ton of this series. He had a huge night in Game 4 for 31 saves, but he followed that up by getting yanked in Game 5. To make matters worse, Freddy Anderson was making Superman saves all night at the other end of the rink. Hell even Joey Hags was calling for the B’s to yank Tuukka.

Imagine that? Imagine your $8 Million/year goalie getting yanked in a Game 7? That would have been disastrous.

It wasn’t just Rask though as Boston was sloppy all night long. Whether it was fatigue or injuries piling up, they just could not clear the puck out of their own zone and they were turning it over in the offensive zone constantly.

Luckily the Bruins were shot out of a rocket in the third period scoring FOUR unanswered goals (including an empty netter) all but removing the necessity for great goaltending.

We also got this laugh out loud interview with Matt Grzelyck after the game. Keep in mind that NESN cut to this on-ice interview like 20 mins after the game ended so its not like it was live.

One more thing, how about DirecTv pulling a Newman and refusing to work in the rain?

Its 2018. I can talk, text, tweet, and stream the Bruins on my iPhone, but DirecTv can’t figure out how to not completely crumble every time the doppler radar gets a little spotty.

Now we move onto the second round where the Bruins will take on an even tougher opponent in the Tampa Bay Lightning. Awesome. If the Bruins play the way they played in Games 3-7, they’re going to get their teeth kicked in. If they play more like they did in Games 1-2 then they’re in business. Tampa finished as the No. 1 seed in the East with 113 points, winning 54 games, and they have an absolutely stacked roster. BUT the Bruins need to remember they went 3-1 against that team this year. As good as Tampa has been, the Bruins have had their number in the regular season. Now they just have to translate that to the postseason. See ya Saturday for Game 1.

Sports Pope Coming Back

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New York Daily News – Unless there is a last-minute snag in the negotiations, Mike (Sports Pope) Francesa will soon return to WFAN, the Daily News has learned.

Francesa will be back in the 3 p.m.-7 p.m. slot, according to well-embedded Hudson Street (FAN Headquarters) rats…

Sources did not know Francesa’s exact starting date, but said it would be soon.

Francesa “retired” from WFAN four months ago. During his “farewell” tour, he repeatedly said “no more FAN.”

I don’t live in New York, I’m not from New York and I’m not a New York sports fan but this is good news.  This is good news for for anyone who consumes sports radio or sports media in general. There are so few people or programs in the sports media that matter any more. Look at ESPN, they couldn’t get anyone to watch SC6 with Michael and Jemele and Get Up! looks to be on the same path. Mike may have lost a little off his fastball, but at least he still matters. You don’t need to be a New Yorker to recognize that.

Is it a little awkward to go on an 18 month farewell tour, just to come back five months later? You bet, but let’s not pretend like this is unprecedented. Johnny Carson is the gold standard of retirement. He signed off at age 66 in 1992 and was on screen for less than 90 seconds the rest of his life. He’s also the exception. Michael Jordan and Brett Favre each made multiple comebacks. Jay Leno (in)famously returned to The Tonight Show. Francesa will be in a similar situation as Leno. If you didn’t like him before, this will be another thing to jab him about. Otherwise, what’s the big deal?

Underrated in all of this may be the fact that Francesa is coming back almost entirely out of spite. Here’s what he said to the New York Post:

“This is for those who started this campaign in recent days. I didn’t decide to go back to WFAN until I was told I better not go back,” Francesa told the paper. “For those behind it, that was the moment I decided to return.

I love a good grudge. Makes for must-listen radio, too.

Marcus Smart Returns to Energize Celtics in Game 5 Win Over Bucks

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The Celtics remained undefeated at home this postseason by taking a near must-win game 92-87 over the Bucks last night. The C’s led by as many as 16 at one point, but the Bucks crawled back into it to make it a game down the stretch. Al Horford had arguably his best game as a member of the Celtics too with 22 points and 14 rebounds. Horford doing everything he can to bury that Average Al nickname.

The story of the day though was the return of Marcus Smart. It came out Tuesday morning that Smart had been physically cleared to play, but it would “be up to him” and how he felt at shootaround before the C’s would announce anything official. So ya there was no way Smart was missing Game 5.

It was Smart’s first game back since getting surgery to repair a torn ligament in his thumb in mid-March. He didn’t waste any time stirring up some shit either as he literally bumped two Bucks walking onto the court. He was a terror all night long.

This dude was everywhere last night with 9 points, 5 rebounds, 4 assists, and THREE blocks. He was routinely blocking the 6’11” Giannis Antetokounmpo for christ’s sake.

He does still takes shots he has no business taking, but its stunning how much tougher and nastier this Celtics team is with Marcus Smart back on the floor.

This was a different team on Tuesday, plain and simple. Of course being back on their home court helps, but Smart gave this team another gear that we haven’t seen in a long time. We even saw Shane Larkin picking Giannis’ pocket for a fast break layup, although Giannis’ was chasing him down like a heat seeking missile.

To top it all off Mike Gorman legit had me dying laughing with his “completely unfazed, but totally over it” description of yet another Marcus Morris circus shot.

I think I might have to slap that on a T-shirt for the stretch run right?

The Celtics will look to close it out in Game 6 on Thursday night in Milwaukee, but they have yet to win on the road in this series. So I wouldn’t be too surprised to see this go seven, but I’d really rather not find out what The Greek Freak Game 7 mode looks like.