Patriots Trade Jimmy Garoppolo to 49ers for 2nd Round Pick. Huh??

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Here I am minding my own business eating dinner and my phone starts BLOWING UP. At 8 pm on a Monday.

And I finally relent and check my notifications to see that the Patriots have traded Jimmy Garoppolo to the 49ers for a 2nd round pick. Huh?

Now, if the rumors by our old friend Mary Kay Cabot from the Cleveland Plain Dealer are true then this is a disaster. Cabot had been on a goddamn crusade telling anyone and everyone that the Browns were willing to basically give away their entire 2017 Draft to the Pats to get Garoppolo, but the Pats declined. First round pick. Two first round picks. You name it, Mary Kay reported it. Now Adam Schefter staunchly denied those reports saying the Pats were NOT trading Jimmy G. As he famously, and snarkily said: “Do I sound clear on that?”

The ONLY way this trade makes any sense is if the Patriots had hoped to work out some kind of bridge deal with Jimmy G and wait another year or two behind Brady and he flat out said no. Which I can’t blame the guy for, he sees QBs in his draft class like Derek Carr and Blake Bortles making big money and says enough is enough, now is my time. No more waiting. Thats the only reason this deal makes sense. Why else would the Patriots reportedly turn down a Top 12 pick (or two Top 12 picks) from the Browns in the 2017 Draft just 6 months ago? If thats the case then Belichick took a gamble and lost. Granted it’ll be a great second round pick, probably anywhere from No. 33-35 overall. But still, seems like a pretty underwhelming return for a guy that the Pats were, reportedly, turning down multiple first round picks for and had plans for him to be the QB of the future.

Now the next question is, umm who the fuck is the backup quarterback of the New England Patriots? Belichick has now traded the No. 2 and No. 3 QBs on the roster, having sent Jacoby Brissett to the Colts as well. Not ideal for a team banking on a 40 year old QB to stay healthy. It certainly makes a lot more sense now that the Pats were working out scrub backup QBs like the Yates of Hell a few weeks ago. So who is gonna be TB12’s backup now?

BAH GAWD IS THAT JOHNNY FOOTBALL’S MUSIC??

Could Calvin Johnson Soon Be a Member of the Patriots?

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Rumblings of some backdoor negotiations popped up over the weekend of two mystery teams inquiring with the Detroit Lions about Calvin Johnson, who as we all know is currently retired. Since Johnson retired while under contract with the Lions, Detroit still owns his rights so any team that wants to dust off Megatron would need to work out compensation with the Lions. Aside from Carson Palmer coming out of retirement and accepting a trade to Oakland, you don’t see a ton of moves like this. Usually the player is retired for a reason and he’s either 1.) washed up or 2.) doesn’t want to play anymore. But take one of the all-time great receivers of my generation and have him play on a dogshit Lions team for 8 years which included all of 2 playoff games. No wonder that guy said yea I’m done taking huge hits for regular season accolades.

But tempt that guy with the possibility of joining a playoff bound team like the Patriots (or the Eagles) then maybe he reconsiders. And Detroit is basically over a barrel because Johnson is already retired and could very easily stay retired, so it shouldn’t take more than a low draft pick, and of course the big money he’s owed ($16 Million this season).

Chris Mortensen is saying the Eagles and the Jaguars are the most likely landing spots, but I think we all know how many things Mort has fucked up in the past so I wouldn’t take this as gospel. But Schefty also threw some cold water on his own report this morning saying:

“The Lions told teams to reach out to the retired wide receiver to gauge his interest, but so far it has been noncommittal at best, diminishing any hope for a deal, sources said.”

But would there be anything more Belichick than coming out of the shadows and replacing an injured Edelman (and possibly Chris Hogan) with a future HOF player that no one ever saw coming? Put a physical specimen like that on the Patriots as the 2nd or 3rd option and it would just be unfair for opposing defenses. Either way, we’ll know the answer to this by end of day tomorrow since Tuesday is the trade deadline. Megatron watch is ON.

Is Philip Rivers the Most Entertaining QB Ever?

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I like Philip Rivers, he seems like a guy that just wants to get out there and sling it. Let him throw it 50 times a game and see what happens. I’ve liked him ever since the Pats faced off against the Chargers and a young Rivers in the 2008 AFC Championship Game and Rivers played on a torn ACL. Guy just balls out. With that being said Rivers is high comedy on the sidelines and coming off the field. Always looks bullshit, 1,000 yard stares, and routinely screams into his helmet. If thats Jay Cutler then its “poor body language” and “bad leadership” but since its Rivers its just hilarious to me.

Granted, he’s had a string of bad luck with the Chargers playing in the most close games in the league the past 2 seasons…and lost most of those games. They just always have a ton of self inflicted injuries, which was on FULL display yesterday with the ATROCIOUS safety the Chargers ran into:

Not to mention the Chargers running the goddamn Wildcat on a key 3rd and 2 like its 2008.

Rivers started running towards the sidelines and I was convinced they were going to run a direct snap to the RB or something. Nope, just a terrible play from an antiquated offense that did not pick up the first down and Philip Rivers died just a little bit more inside.

Thats not to say Phil didn’t have a hand in his team bungling a game they had a pretty good handle on early.

But the complete disdain for everyone around him is what makes him so lovable, especially after this brutal penalty on a pick play negated a yuuge touchdown for the Chargers.

And then to wrap it all up Rivers threw an interception as the Chargers had one last chance to tie it up.

Never change, Philip. Never change.

Happy Declassified JFK Documents Day!

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If you’re from Massachusetts then you know JFK is a goddamn legend around these parts. Seriously, I grew up with framed photos of JFK all around my parents’ house. An Irish Catholic Boston boy became the most powerful man in the world; no wonder he’s a folk hero around here. As Frank Costello said in The Departed:

“Twenty years after an Irishman couldn’t get a fucking job, we had the presidency.”

Not to mention the guy was smooth as silk and (allegedly) dated the most famous actress ever in Marilyn Monroe. But of course Lee Harvey Oswald had to go and fuck that up for everyone. 50 years later and people still aren’t entirely sold on what exactly happened or if it could have been prevented. Having sealed, classified documents for five decades breeds skepticism? Go figure. Well Donald Trump just said fuck it lets get in there and allowed a ton of previously unseen docs to hit the public eye. Haven’t had a chance to dive into them myself, but I’m sure we’ll learn some juicy details. From what I’ve heard its more of the CIA and the FBI shit the bed on preventing the assassination rather than second shooter conspiracy cover ups. Either way, buckle up because this should be an interesting couple of weeks.

Cashman, Yankees Move on from Girardi

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Image result for joe girardi sad

ESPN – Joe Girardi will not be back next season as manager of the New York Yankees, the team announced Thursday.

Girardi just completed the final season of a four-year, $16 million contract. Sources told ESPN’s Buster Olney that Yankees general manager Brian Cashman recommended to owner Hal Steinbrenner that the team change managers.

In an email to local media outlets, Girardi said: “With a heavy heart, I come to you because the Yankees have decided not to bring me back.” He went on to thank the Steinbrenner family and Cashman.

This is a ballsy move by Brian Cashman and I love it. I understand that this year’s Yankees team exceeded pretty much everyone’s expectations and came within one game of the World Series. But if you think your team needs new leadership in the dugout and in the clubhouse, why would you wait to take make the move?

What did the Red Sox gain by keeping John Farrell around for an extra year? Nothing. The Red Sox once again departed the playoffs in the first round in 2017 while the heir apparent, Torey Lovullo, helped the Diamondbacks win 24 more games than they did in 2016. I’m sure glad Theo didn’t keep Grady Little around just because he won 188 games in two seasons.

It took Ron Gardenhire four-straight god-awful 90-loss seasons to get fired in Minnesota. Why, because he won a few division titles and went 6-21 in the playoffs? That dude should have been given his walking papers at least two years sooner, if not three. Four 90-loss seasons in the first five years of a new ballpark is not a great way to reenergize a fan base.

If I had to choose between the Minnesota method of hiring managers or the George Steinbrenner method from the 1980s, I’d take the Steinbrenner method every day of the week. If you can’t be good, at least be interesting!

That being said, letting Joe Girardi go is not a vintage George Steinbrenner move. Girardi managed the team for ten years. The team has only had two managers since Bill Clinton’s reelection in 1996. This is not like the days when Billy Martin was coming back every other year like the Olympics. This is a conscious decision by Cashman to move in a new direction.

When Girardi was brought on board in 2008, the team was in a much different place. It was an aging collection of superstars and the average age on the team was 31.5. The Core Four was still in place. A-Rod was coming off of his third (and last) MVP season. Hell, Bobby Abreu played 156 games for the Yanks in 2008. Mark Teixeira and C.C. Sabathia were still a year away from joining the team.

The average age of a Yankees player this season was 28.7. The team is more focused on building than on signing the top free agent every off-season. Maybe Cashman sees Dave Roberts (45 years old), A.J. Hinch (43), and Alex Cora (42) and believes that the best path forward for the Yankees is to also get younger in the manager’s office, and to install a manager that can better relate to today’s younger players.

Bringing Girardi back for another go around wouldn’t have been a bad move. It would have been a safe move. But ten years in the Bronx is a long time for anyone. With a new nucleus of young players set to play together for many years to come it makes sense to want a manager who will be in place for more than just the next few years. The next Yankees manager could easily be in place in 2022. It’s hard to imagine Girardi sticking around that much longer. As Bill Belichick has demonstrated so often, it’s always better to move on a year too early instead of a year too late.

So maybe it’s not be a popular move today, and it surely won’t be an easy vacancy to fill. But you know what’s easy? Being the Minnesota Twins. Championships don’t come easy. And they don’t hang up division Wild Card champions banners in the Bronx.

Dustin Pedroia Out 7 Months After Knee Surgery, Awesome

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So Dustin Pedroia decided to undergo the surgery he’s been publicly hesitant to get because by his own admission its a long road to recovery. If all goes well with his knee surgery and rehab then, according to the Red Sox, Pedroia should be out 7 months, which puts him back on the field by May. But, how often does everything go according to plan with this team and injuries? There’s always some misdiagnosis or they rush guys back or second and third opinions derail everything because the players don’t trust the team doctors. So if all that goes off without a hitch then he’ll be back in May. But, thats back to being a functioning, walking human, not an everyday Major League Baseball player. Pedroia won’t be able to do any of his offseason conditioning and will miss all of spring training. So while the team is saying May, this could easily be a situation where we don’t see Pedey back on the field at Fenway until July. Thats a scary proposition.

So the Red Sox are most definitely going to need another guy that can play 50-100 games at second base next year. Is that Brock Holt? I’d prefer to keep Holt as a super utility player and not an every day infielder as he tends to get exposed the longer he plays plus he has his own injury concerns with the concussion and the vertigo from this past season.

Is that Eduardo Nunez? That would probably be the ideal fill-in, but after being picked up by the Sox in the second half where he crushed the ball to a BA of .321, Nunez is a free agent and is probably 1.) looking for big dough and 2.) looking for assured playing time. Not to say Nunez will immediately ride the bench upon Pedroia’s return, but I could easily see him going somewhere else where he knows exactly what position he’ll be playing every day.

Deven Marrero’s not exactly a sexy option having hit .211 this year in the big leagues, but he’s the only guy you’ve got on the roster right now. I simply cannot see Dave Dombrowski punting on second base to start the year and hoping a 34-year-old Pedroia returns to form after major knee surgery. The Sox are still tight up against the Luxury Tax and everyone will lose their shit if Dombrowski starts dishing more prospects, so while there is a move to be made they may have to get creative with this one.

 

Dont’a Hightower Done for the Season. Suddenly Improving Patriots Defense is Now in Trouble

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SI – New England Patriots linebacker Dont’a Hightower has a torn pectoral muscle and will miss the rest of the season, reports NFL.com’s Ian Rapoport.

This Patriots team is falling apart at the seams. First it was Julian Edelman blowing his knee out and now its our defensive captain in Hightower. In the first year of his new contract too, what a goddamn bummer. This will be the first time that Hightower, who has a reputation for missing time, will miss more than 2 games in a row as a Patriot. So now the Pats will have to scramble to shore up yet another hole on their roster.

If theres any silver lining at all its that this injury happened a few days before the trade deadline. Not like theres a Pro-Bowl linebacker out there to be had for cheap, but it gives the Patriots way more options than if this injury happened next week.

I think Belichick secretly strokes it to situations like this though. He fucking HATED every minute of this pre-season when people saying the Pats could go 19-0. But, take away his best receiver and his best defensive player?  Now we’re cooking with gas. People are doubting us now, saying we don’t have the personnel. Stephon Gilmore’s a bum you say? MEET JOHNSON BADEMOSI! Oh Hightower’s hurt? BRING IN CASSIUS MARSH! Edelman went down? I HAVE FIVE RUNNINGBACKS ON THIS ROSTER!

The guy just loves playing checkers especially when its on All-Madden mode with an injury plagued team. Belichick loves being in the trenches just putting out fires; thats where his genius really comes into play. If we’re being honest, anyone could have fell ass backwards into Tom Brady in the 6th round or known to take Vince Wilfork in the first round. Most guys though aren’t able to craft an entire roster and keep the train moving down the tracks while the engine’s on fire. As fictional Miami Dolphins GM Larry Siefert once said in Ballers: anyone can fill the top or the bottom of a roster, its those guys in the middle that set you apart.

#RushHourRap – Mobb Deep

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Shook Ones is a first ballot Hall of Fame rap song.

Now obviously this song came out in 1995, but it had a renaissance when it was the featured instrumental on the final 8 Mile rap battle in 2002. The unforgettable scene where Eminem just rips Papa Doc to shreds over the Mobb Deep beat. That movie was a pre-game go to for me and my roommates back in college. Just have like 6 captain and diets and then see who can rattle off the rap battles the best. Hell, to this day we jokingly ask which one of us is gonna have the 8 Mile rap battle played at our wedding. CUE THE HIGHLIGHTS!

UCF Unveils a Fire Flames New Basketball Court

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USA Today -There are plenty of positives to a life if one were to attend UCF. One of the most specific upsides is UCF’s proximity to Universal Orlando Resort; just a half-hour car ride southwest of campus, UCF students can make a day trip almost any time. Luckily for UCF’s men’s and women’s basketball teams, the Knights’ new floor at CFE Arena is bringing roller coasters — and palm trees — much closer to the hardwood. In fact, it’s putting them *on* the hardwood. UCF introduced the latest edition of its court Wednesday. Out is the old two-toned look from last season, with a gray wood center court and tan wood inside the arcs.

Wow. If there’s two things I can get behind its wacky basketball courts and of course fire flames jerseys.

We have that here in spades. Shout out to UCF for realizing that no one will give a shit about your basketball team unless you sex it up a little bit. Introducing roller coaster tycoon parquet. Pop on a couple neon and camo jerseys and you got yourself a marketing campaign.

FIFA 2018’s Worst Rated Soccer Player Isn’t Actually a Soccer Player

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Kotaku – The lowest possible rating a FIFA 18 player can have is 46, and there are ten players plumbing these depths. Nine of them, like Grimsby Town’s Max Wright and Scunthorpe United’s Leslie Sackey, are professional athletes. The tenth is a former youth goalkeeper roped in to get around an administrative loophole. Tommy Käßemodel, listed in the game as a player for the German club FC Erzgebirge Aue, has a defensive rating of 36, while his pace is a comedic 23. For reference, most players in the game find their ratings nestled somewhere between 60-90. Those would be mortifying stats for someone paid to play football, but the weird thing here is that Käßemodel isn’t paid to play football: he’s Erzgebirge’s kit man , the guy responsible for looking after everyone’s shirts and shorts.

I guess this bottom of the barrel rating would sting if you actually, ya know, played soccer. But as the “kit man?” Well thats just gravy man.  Do you think Lionel Messi cares what rating they give him for his ability to file taxes properly? Come on, this guy’s job is to make sure the team walks out wearing the right shorts with their jerseys. The guy is probably stoked to even be in a video game.

I remember my borderline D-1 college was in the NCAA Basketball video game back before the NCAA basically cancelled all their games because nameless athletes got sick of selling video games without seeing any cash themselves. And let me tell you, these kids that were all destined to either sell insurance or maybe play in Italy were STOKED to be in a video game. No one gave a shit they had a 42 rating. Nobody was ever gonna cut down the virtual nets with this team, but it did make for some entertaining drunk video game betting on games with final scores of 32-38.

Although EA probably fucked ya boy Tommy on this one, exposing the loophole that had him likely collecting a second paycheck as a rostered player, despite not actually being a player. Woops.