I Hate Instant Replay

By on • ( Leave a comment )

PFT – The Lions had what appeared to be another incredible fourth-quarter comeback victory today in Detroit. And then came instant replay.

After Golden Tate appeared to score a game-winning touchdown with eight seconds left, an instant replay review ruled that Tate’s knee was down before the ball crossed the goal line. By NFL rule, when the clock was stopped only because of a call that was then overturned, there’s an automatic 10-second runoff. Because there were only eight seconds remaining when Tate was originally ruled to have scored, the runoff ended the game.

This play and the outcome of this game perfectly encapsulate what is wrong with instant replay in sports. Instead of games being decided by players and officials on the field, games are being decided in dark, windowless rooms by the members of the leagues’ AV clubs in New York.

I’ve watched the replay of Golden Tate’s catch at game speed at least a dozen times, and I don’t know how any referee could call it anything but a touchdown in that moment. After watching the replay in slow motion a few dozen times more, was Tate’s knee down before the ball crossed the plane? Maybe. But that is not a blown call. That is a tough call that went the Lions’ way instead of the Falcons’ way, and that’s the way it should have stayed.

Instant replay was introduced as a way to get obviously blown calls corrected. Think of Don Denkinger’s safe call in the 1985 World Series, or Jim Joyce blowing Armando Galarraga’s perfect game with one out to go. Instant replay should not, in my opinion, be used as an attempt to achieve 100% perfect officiating. Perfect officiating is simply not possible, regardless of how much technology is implemented. It just shifts human error from one spot to another. Using instant replay in an attempt to achieve 100% perfect officiating opens a Pandora’s Box of bizarre and illogical outcomes just like the one yesterday in Detroit.

Last year, the Boise State men’s basketball team won a game at the buzzer on a Hail Mary shot. The ball was inbounded with .8 seconds on the clock and the player got the shot off before time expired. However, after review, the officials found that the clock was wrong. The clock did not start when the player first touched the ball, so the officials used a stopwatch and saw that it took him 1.3 seconds to get the shot off. The basket was waived off and the game ended.

Any sports fan who says they want more of this stuff is lying. Besides the artificially engineered game outcomes, instant replay is the reason the last minute of a basketball game takes 10 minutes now instead of just five. It’s why no one knows what a catch is. It’s why the “neighborhood play” is now the most dangerous play in baseball.

I’ve long been on the record advocating for more restraint with the use of instant replay, but I don’t know if there’s any turning back now. It would’ve been nice to see the Lions get one more untimed down at the end of the game yesterday but I’m not sure more lines in the rule book are the answer either.

I’ve always been told that football is a game of inches. Instant replay has turned it into a game of millimeters.

Pour One Out for Short Guy Hall of Famer Darren Sproles Who is Out for the Season

By on • ( 1 Comment )

ESPN – Philadelphia Eagles running back Darren Sproles tore an ACL and broke an arm on the same play Sunday, sources told ESPN’s Chris Mortensen and Adam Schefter. Sproles is having surgery on his arm Monday and will require surgery on his knee, sources said. His season is over.

After an “awkard plant and hit” Darren Sproles broke his arm and tore his ACL on the same play yesterday, ending the 34-year-old runningback’s season and potentially his career. Listed at 5’6″ and 190 pounds, Sproles was an absolute monster and has been a go to guy since 2008 when he was with the team formerly known as San Diego. Then he was paired up in the same backfield as Reggie Bush with New Orleans for 3 years where he scored 21 TDs (+1 on a punt return). Then in Philly for the last 3+ seasons where he scored 14 more TDs before going down this Sunday.

For his career Sproles has 532 receptions for 4,600+ yards and 30 TDs with 3,300+ rushing yards and 22 rushing TDs plus another 9 TDs on returns. If you had to design a passing down back this is your guy.

If it is the end (rumors were he had planned to retire after this season) then its been a hell of a career and someone the rest of us short guys LOVED to watch play. He’ll go down in the Short Guy Hall of Fame with the likes of Muggsy Bogues, Doug Flutie, Isaiah Thomas, and Dustin Pedroia.

Carmelo Anthony Traded to OKC; How Does This Affect the Celtics?

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Something I wanted to touch on as it does directly affect the Boston Celtics was Carmelo Anthony getting traded to the Thunder over the weekend. Now obviously Melo’s trade value has plummeted over the years, especially with the $54 Million he’s due to make over the next two years, but it was still a pretty measly return for the Knicks. I guess they just wanted to close that chapter and move on and rebuild (AROUND DOUGIE MCBUCKETS!)

But hats off to Sam Presti. This guy has been getting roasted for years, rightfully so, for blowing up the Thunder and trading away “bench players” like James Harden who has only grown into a Top 5 player in the league. So getting Carmelo Anthony and Paul George this offseason for Enes Kanter, Doug McDermott, a 2018 second-round pick, Victor Oladipo, and Domantas Sabonis is the definition of pulling a rabbit out of your ass.

Now how does this affect the Celtics? Well its always good to see an elite scorer not land with your biggest rival in Cleveland, which is where a lot of rumors had Melo going. Problem is GM LeBron has gutted this team of assets so the Cavs don’t really have much to offer anyone aside from that brand new Brooklyn pick, which was obviously never gonna happen. But, Melo on the Cavs was a scary thought. Say what you want about the guy, but if he’s the second or third option and can just hang out in the corner waiting for his shot, thats lethal. So him going to OKC helps Boston avoid an even larger uphill battle against the Cavs.

Remember when LeBron said Super Teams weren’t a thing? Welp, What is dead may never die. There are now like 4-5 teams (read: Golden State) that have a real shot at winning the title, which is bad for the league, but great for NBA2K because OKC just became a must play team.

Also, hopefully Carmelo, Paul George and Russell Westbrook don’t murder each other when they’re all gunning for the last shot. Hopefully it works out because I NEED Russell to win a title in OKC soon just to see him essentially host the Haters Ball in his victory speech. I don’t think Kevin Durant would ever recover from the things Russ might say in that speech. Need to see it.

PS – While Carmelo on the Knicks was basically a dumpster fire for the better part of six years, let us never forget that trade spawned one of the best sports commercials of all-time. I’m not even a Knicks fan and that commercial still gives me goosebumps.

After Odell Beckham’s “Dog Taking a Leak” This Adam Carolla Classic Celebration Can’t Be Far Behind

By on • ( 1 Comment )

The NFL softened its stance on touchdown celebrations this season after years of being dubbed the No Fun League. Most of them are just fun dances (or punting the ball into the stands if you’re Stefon Diggs), but Odell Beckham is not like most cats. No, rather than salsa dance, backflip, or fake moon the crowd

ODB decided to get on all fours, crawl around, and pretend to piss like a dog?

Weird move, but I feel like free speech has been a particularly hot topic the past few days, so do your thing ODB. I guess. The NY Post missed a huge opportunity though to print the single greatest headline ever: GIANTS PISS AWAY GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY IN LOSS. But I digress.

After seeing the dog taking a leak TD dance, it reminded me of an old classic from The Man Show. Adam Carolla’s trademark celebration of reading the newspaper while taking a dump. After seeing ODB, this one cannot be far behind:

Charles Barkley Just Roasted the NBA for Reducing Back to Back Games

By on • ( Leave a comment )

ESPN – Hall of Famer Charles Barkley is “angry” that the NBA moved up the start of the season to lessen the amount of back-to-back games and eliminate any teams playing four games in five nights. Speaking at Southern Methodist University on Wednesday, Barkley sarcastically said he wanted to “commend the NBA” for cutting the amount of back-to-back games. The 2017-18 schedule reduces the number of back-to-back games to an average of 14.4 per team, down from 16.3 per team last season. No team has more than 16 back-to-backs this season. “You know, these poor babies can’t play back-to-back games. They’re making $20, 30, $40 million a year. But we want to make it convenient for them. They’re making $40 million making a year, we can’t stress ’em out. So we’re just going to make it more comfortable for them. The private jets and four-star hotels aren’t enough,” he said, continuing his sarcastic tone.

God bless Charles Barkley, the guy just says whatever the fuck he’s thinking, which is truly a dying breed these days. Sure, a lot of players say he’s just bitter, which is on full display in his frequent near fist fights with Shaq on TNT. But he’s right.

I understand what the NBA is trying to do here; eliminate, or marginally disrupt, the practice of teams resting its top stars. Especially for nationally televised games. There was nothing worse than when the league hyped an upcoming Spurs game for weeks only to find out Tim Duncan and half the starters are in three blazers on the bench.

So if this helps reduce that, then fine. But to Chuck’s point he says the league is babying these players that are already making $20+ million per year. So if they’re complaining about back to backs now, what the hell are they gonna bitch about next?

Credit to LeBron James, who has really lead this revolution of giving the players more power than they’ve ever had before. He was really the first guy to ask why should I sign these long term contracts with Cleveland? How am I going to make sure they keep their promise to always be improving my team? As the best player in the league LeBron has created more leverage than any other player in American sports by signing the now common 1+1 deals. Basically a one year contract with a one year player option that subtly threatens he’ll leave in Free Agency if ownership doesn’t keep improving the team. Gotta give the dude credit for continuously putting himself in the best situation.

So I agree with what Chuck is saying here 100%, especially about road trips:

“It’s just sad because you’re just disrespecting the fans. You know they’re only going to get to see you one time a year in some of these situations, and you would think a guy was like, ‘You know what, they’re only going to see me one time a year, I’m going to play in that city.”

But I’m pragmatic and times are a changing. Guys don’t wanna play back to backs. Coaches want to rest their players. Look at the Cavs, they take half the regular season off because having the best regular season record doesn’t mean shit to them. So if this is what allows players to suit up for those random road trips then fine. I’d be bullshit if I paid $100 for a ticket to see Anthony Davis at the Garden, only to see he’s sitting out because he needs some R&R. Ultimately it’ll be good for the league, but keep spitting that hot fire Chuck. Say that shit.

This is Why You Don’t Gamble Kids

By on • ( 1 Comment )

Last night was the most entertaining Thursday Night Football game I can ever remember watching. Now obviously these go back to like 2006, but that was a great game that I did not expect. First off, fire flames Color Rush jerseys by the Rams.

Props to them for actually wearing an absurdly loud uniform like the Bills and Jets original Color Rush jerseys before all the blindos complained.

BUT, if you had money on the Rams then you were well within your rights to smash everything in the house. The Rams were a (-2.5) point favorite, meaning they had to win by at least 3 to cover, which we said they would in our Week 3 picks.

So, after a Sammy Watkins’ TD catch midway through the 4th quarter the Rams go up by 15 with a little under 9 minutes left in the game. At that point I’m feeling pretty good about my pick.

That tweet was where it all started to unravel. After the Watkins TD the two sides exchanged punts and then the 49ers get the ball back with a little over 6 minutes left. From there on out it was Brian Hoyer time. Dude completes a 59 yard BOMB to Pierre Garcon in stride.

Now I’m getting a little nervous.

Hoyer promptly throws for another TD, the kick is good, and now the Niners are down 8 with a little over 5 mins to go.

OK, Todd Gurley time to run out the clock. Grind time baby. Oh wait nevermind, the Rams fucking FUMBLE the ball on the kickoff return. Niners ball. On a short field the Niners take 8 plays for Carlos Hyde to punch it in for a 1-yard TD with 2:17 left in the game.

The 49ers are now down 2 before they elect to go for the 2-point conversion. At this point I am PRAYING that they convert so the Rams will actually have a reason to move the ball and score again. Nope, of course Brian Hoyer throws a goddamn pick and they don’t convert the 2-point attempt. Shit.

The 49ers onside kick it and the ball perfectly bounces off a guys head before the Niners RECOVER IT! We’re back in business baby! If the Niners score then the Rams have to go all out. Lets see what you got Hoyer.

Two incompletions. Offensive holding penalty. Incompletion. Sacked on 4th down. Game over. Rams win by 2 points.

Friday Morning Randomness

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Jerry Seinfeld’s new Netflix special is out and, critics be damned, it is a must-watch. I know it’s a lot of recycled material, but it’s still one of the best comedy specials I’ve seen in a while. Even if he’s just “playing the hits,” it’s solid material from one of the best to ever play the game.

Here’s his 1998 HBO special, “I’m Telling You For the Last Time.” This was the first comedy album I ever owned, and I still listen to it today.

Lets Gamble! NFL Week 3

By on • ( Leave a comment )

As always, all of our betting lines are courtesy of Westgate so blame them if the numbers change. Its that time once again to start playing fast and loose with our paychecks. Its Week 3 in the NFL, LETS GO.

Overall Record (8-7)
Last week (8-7)

Thursday, Sept. 21
Los Angeles Rams (-2.5, 40) at San Francisco 49ers

Bet this one at your own risk because this has all the makings of an ugly game. But if I HAVE to make a pick, I’m going with the Rams to cover. Goff has looked decent and Cooper Kupp looks like the next young white slot receiver. Its crazy how one goes out (Edelman) and another immediately takes its place, like a goddamn snake.

Sunday, Sept. 24
9:30 a.m. ET (at London)
Baltimore Ravens (-4, 39) vs. Jacksonville Jaguars

SUNDAY MORNING FOOTBALL IS BACK! Bloodys and bacon for kickoff. I LOVE London football because it means there are games on from when I wake up until when I go to bed. Sure, its a shitshow for the teams playing, but hey as long as its not my team. Jacksonville looked good Week 1 and then looked like shit in Week 2. I think that trend probably continues, especially so far from home. I’m taking the Ravens to cover here.

1 p.m. ET
Denver Broncos (-3, 40.5) at Buffalo Bills

The Broncos have looked excellent thus far as they shut down the high powered Cowboys and Ezekiel Elliott last week. They also look like they’ve stumbled onto something with Trevor Siemian under center, throwing four TDs last week. And as much as I love Tyrod Taylor, he’s throwing to a bunch of bums and rookies out there when Charles Clay isn’t catching it. Shady McCoy is still a beast, but I think the Broncos take it to the Bills in Buffalo and cover.

New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers (-6, 48)

The Panthers barely got out of Week 2 alive, topping the Bills 9-3, so they’re not exactly firing on all cylinders. The Saints meanwhile are plagued by a swiss cheese defense for what feels like every year since they won the Super Bowl. Cam Newtons been getting banged up, but I think they still have enough to cover over the Saints.

Pittsburgh Steelers (-7.5, 45.5) at Chicago Bears

Bears are a dogshit football team and I cannot advise picking them in any situation outside of them playing the Jets or Browns. Antonio Brown, Leveon Bell, Martavis Bryant? Steelers roll.

Atlanta Falcons (-3, 49) at Detroit Lions

This will be an interesting game to watch. Atlanta got back on track against Green Bay last week and the Lions took it to the Giants on MNF. (-3) isn’t a huge favorite, which is why I’m going with the Falcons to cover. Remember, Detroit beat up on a NYG with a super limited Odell Beckham. Plus they murdered the Giants’ punter too.

Cleveland Browns (-1.5, 40) at Indianapolis Colts

This is the first game the Browns have been favored to win since 2015! So tread lightly here. But I like what I saw out of rookie receiver Rashard Higgins last week (7 catches, 95 yards) and the Colts are still starting the Patriots 3rd-string QB. While it is with great trepidation, I’m taking the Browns to cover.

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Minnesota Vikings (no line)

Westgate had no line on this game. Cool.

Houston Texans at New England Patriots (-13, 43.5)

Jesus christ, another gigantic spread for the Pats to cover. Heavy lies the crown I guess. While I told anyone and everyone to bet their house on the Pats routing the Saints last week, I’m not as confident in predicting a blowout here. The Texans defense is legit, especially upfront. And if you’ve been paying attention over the years, these are the types of teams that usually give the Pats trouble (except for last year when Brissett and co. wrecked them). But Pats also have historically struggled with mobile QBs and Deshaun Watson is that dude. So while I think the Pats win, I’m picking the Texans to cover.

Miami Dolphins (-6, 41.5) at New York Jets

Theres no sugar coating it, the Jets are a brutal team to watch. They put up a decent fight in the first half last week against Oakland before getting stomped out in the second half. But I have very little faith in them week to week. I could see them staying with the Dolphins, but Smokin Jay Cutler looked very efficient last week and Miami’s run game is legit. So I’m picking the Dolphins to cover.

New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles (-6, 43)

The Giants will continue to be an enigma until Odell Beckham is healthy and right, which who knows when that could be. Like I said last week, until ODB proves to me he is 100% I’m not picking the Giants because they’re just not that good without him. Plus Carson Wentz is playing well and Darren Sproles continues to be the most spry 34-year-old running back I’ve ever seen.

4 p.m. ET
Seattle Seahawks at Tennessee Titans (-3, 43)

The Seahawks offense is rip your hair out frustrating right now as the offensive line is a goddamn sieve. So until that shit improves, Russell looks like Dangeruss again (and saves my fantasy season) and someone takes that RB job (looking at you Chris Carson) then I’m not too confident picking the Hawks. For that reason I’ll go with the Titans and the Duck to cover.

Cincinnati Bengals at Green Bay Packers (-9, 44.5)

The Bengals are a walking disaster right now. Andy Dalton is having the worst start of his career and Tyler Eifert is back into injury purgatory (is he hurt? is he not?) so Cincy is a tough pick. The Packers don’t look like world beaters either though with Rodgers throwing a ton of shitty passes while under duress last week. Is Green Bay (-9) points better than Cincy? I say no, I think its a closer game than that as both teams are struggling. Bengals cover.

Kansas City Chiefs (-3, 46) at Los Angeles Chargers

The Chiefs are rolling, put some big bucks down on them to cover this week. Unless of course the Chargers miss another game winning kick and lose by 2…BUT I think KC is one of the best bets of the week to cover.

8:30 p.m. ET
Oakland Raiders (-3, 54) at Washington Redskins

Taking Oakland all day, especially with how disappointing Kirk Cousins and the R-words have been thus far. Derek Carr and Marshawn will have a day against Washington so I’m picking da Raiders to cover.

Monday, Sept. 25
Dallas Cowboys (-3, 47) at Arizona Cardinals

The Boys are back in prime time and after a beatdown by the Broncos last week look for Zeke, who had a disastrous game against Denver, to get the rock early and often here. Dallas needs that to help keep the pressure of Dak and avoid the dumb INTs. Cowboys cover.

Great, Torey Krug Broke His Jaw

By on • ( Leave a comment )

ESPN – Boston Bruins defenseman Torey Krug broke his jaw when he was hit in the face with a puck Tuesday against the Red Wings and will miss at least the rest of training camp. The team said the 26-year-old suffered a non-displaced fracture and will be reevaluated in three weeks.

Goddamnit. Coming off one of his best seasons with 51 points last year, Krug was in line to build on that breakout campaign. Now he’s out for at least the next 3 weeks, but I would imagine having a broken jaw will probably have you a little gun shy about heading into the corners for a while. Hopefully its a quick recovery for Torey, T&P’s. Until then, if someone orders pancakes just sip the sizzurp.

Toys R Us Just Filed Bankruptcy and I’m Pretty Sure Its Me and My Friends’ Fault

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Forbes – Toys “R” Us, Inc.— with over $5 billion in debt—made big headlines this week by filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, making this the third-largest retail industry bankruptcy of all time!

$5 Billion – with a B – in debt is no joke. I guess the endless aisles of Furbys and boardgames finally caught up to them. I thought if anyone could make it, it’d be Toys R Us. Place was like crack for little kids. They’d go apeshit for Toys R Us, which is why I think I’m partly responsible for them filing bankruptcy, or at least my degenerate friends are.

So there was a huge Toys R Us in the town I went to college in, right next to the the Wal-Mart, Goodwill, and McDonalds. So needless to say we made many a trips there half in the bag from the night before. And just about every single time we went, one of my buddies would enroll someone we knew into the Geoffrey the Giraffe Birthday program. For those that are unfamiliar, you’d write down your name, phone number, and birthdate and you’d get a call from Geoffrey the Giraffe on your birthday. Every. Single. Year.

“A child enrolled by his or her parent/guardian will receive a special birthday card and gift from Geoffrey the Giraffe every year until he or she turns 10 years old.”

Or, ya know, until you’re 30.

There must be dozens of people I went to college with that still get phone calls from that fucking giraffe. Toys R Us was probably doing their books and wondering how they could be in so much debt when millions upon millions of kids are still enrolled in their birthday program. Unbeknownst to them, a good portion of those phone numbers are just dickhead college students messing with their friends. Sorry Geoffrey, you did your best.