MLB Can Fuck Right Off With Putting a Team in Las Vegas

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CBS Sports – MLB commissioner Rob Manfred seems increasingly to have expansion on his mind. While the general sense of things is that Manfred and MLB will look to expand their international footprint in the next round of expansion, you should also consider Las Vegas to be in the mix of potential locations. In fact, Manfred himself said as much to Michael Kay on Tuesday.

MLB can fuck right off with putting a team in Las Vegas after sandbagging Pete Rose for all these years. The most sanctimonious, anti-gambling league in all of sports is now considering putting a team in the gambling capital of the world.

I applaud the Knights and potentially the Raiders for finally putting a team in Vegas, but holy hell MLB be more hypocritical. The guy with the most hits in the history of your sport isn’t even recognized by baseball because he was placing bets on his *own* team.

And now they’re gonna waltz into town and drop a team in the same spot that Pete Rose has basically been banished to. The guy signs autographs in Vegas every day for a living. Did you know he’s signed so many autographs that its basically worthless on the resale market now?

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That would be some fucked up irony if I ever saw it. One of the best players of all time banned by his sport for gambling, ironically takes up residence in a city that is known solely for gambling, and then years later that same sport puts a team in said gambling city, right in his backyard? Holy shit, Pete Rose might legitimately drop dead.

So put a pitching clock in, speed up the game, put a goddamn guy on second base to start extra innings, I don’t care, but get the hell outta my face with putting a team in Sin City.

I really hope the C’s/Nets trade becomes the Herschel Walker trade of the NBA

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Business Insider – The infamous Paul Pierce-Kevin Garnett trade with the Brooklyn Nets is the gift that keeps on giving for the Boston Celtics.

In 2013, the Celtics sent Pierce, Garnett, and Jason Terry to Brooklyn as the Nets tried to build a star-packed team to rival the Miami Heat. In exchange, along with some role players, the Celtics received the Nets’ 2014, 2016, and 2018 first-round picks, with the right to swap picks in 2017.

We’re still in the midst of the annual NBA Trade Deadline Sweepstakes and everyone knows that the Celtics have a big stack of chips to play with if they want to get in on the fun this year. I’m writing this blog because I still have to remind myself of the Brink’s Job Trader Danny pulled off in 2013.

In exchange for their picks, the Nets got three guys that would be at least 36 years old by opening night with 47 combined seasons of experience. On what planet did they think that would work out well?

People were afraid the new Big Three would have a very short window in Boston when Ainge put that group together in 2007. The Celtics wound up getting six seasons out Garnett and Pierce (five out of Ray Allen), and that felt like a success. More championships would have been nice, but one championship, two trips to the Finals and a renewed relevancy were more than the Celtics had offered at any other time since Larry Bird’s retirement. How long did the Nets think they could keep the band together?

The Nets got 206 games out of Garnett, Pierce and Terry between 2013 and 2015 and one playoff series win. All three have since moved on from the Nets.

I’d rather lose by ten points going for the win than lose by one point and look back and say “Goddamn, we should have gone for the win”. But right now, it looks like the Nets are gonna lose by 50.

Theres Nothing Crueler in This World Than Waiting for a Woj Bomb

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So as everyone already knows, Isaiah Thomas set the internet on fire tonight with this tweet:

Maybe that means the next big Celtics trade is imminent? Or maybe it means Isaiah’s kids got a hold of his phone? Or maybe IT just wants to watch the world burn. But the last time Isaiah tweeted out the cryptic eye balls emoji the Celtics signed their biggest free agent ever.

So who the hell knows, but now I’m checking my phone every 30 seconds like a goddamn junkie waiting for a call from his dealer. Need my fix from Woj. Drop the Woj bomb, Adrian. Drop it.

Super Mario to the Patriots, Revisiting the 2006 Draft and Talking MTV’s Two a Days

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Another aging, overpaid and undermotivated former NFL star is cut and whats the first thing everyone in the league does? Looks to see what Belichick does. At first glance this does look like a player that the Patriots would take a chance on, especially with some potential holes to fill in the defensive line this offseason. But Mario Williams is now 32 and his numbers have gone down across the board the last 3 years. He doesn’t strike me as a high motor veteran in a shitty situation like Chris Long this past season. But hey if he wants to take a massive pay cut and reserve his spot on the Duckboats for next year, far be it for me to stop him.

Super Mario did outlast his incrediblyyy hyped up peers from the 2006 draft though. I still remember ROASTING the Texans for passing on Reggie Bush, who had just finished one of the greatest college careers of all time at USC.

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What a wacky draft. Then of course there was Vince Young at No. 3 who had the highest of highs winning Rookie of the Year and landing on the cover of Madden before having some personal issues and fizzling out. He is on the comeback trail now though!

There were some pretty good players in that draft with Pro Bowlers like D’Brickishaw Ferguson, Jay Cutler (pre-smoking Jay Cutler meme days), Vernon Davis, Donte Hitner (Whitner). But holy shit do I feel old looking through the rest of this draft class. These guys have either been in the league for 10+ years or are already retired: Haloti Ngata, Tamba Hali, DeAngelo Williams, Nick Mangold, Devin Hester, D’Qwell Jackson (the original fall guy for Deflategate), Maurice Jones-Drew and my man Antonio Cromartie.

Required to post any time Antonio Cromartie is mentioned:

I’d be remiss without mentioning the thunder to Reggie Bush’s lightning, my man LenDale White. And how about these two HOF picks from Belichick himself; Laurence tap-dancing Maroney and Chad Jackson. Yuck.

Chad Jackson’s No. 1 claim to fame to this day is still having been on MTV’s Two a Days back at Hoover High (RIP Angels and Airwaves).

PS – Ever wonder what happened to those guys? This is absolute porn for anyone that used to actually watch Two A Day’s like me. And yes Hoover HC Rush Propst is 100% Bud Kilmer from Varsity Blues.

Adrian Peterson to the Patriots? This Move Would Be More Albert Haynesworth Than Corey Dillon

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A move like this just screams Joey Galloway, Albert Haynesworth and Chad Ocho Cinco more than it does Corey Dillon or Randy Moss. A guy who at one point was one of if not the premier player at his position who now is a bit older and admittedly has some baggage. We’re not even gonna get into the details of whether or not AP is a good guy, because beating the shit out of your kids does not a good person make you. As a pure football fit, I just don’t see it. The guy looked toast last year and *then* he blew out his knee. So running backs on the wrong side of 30 with multiple knee injuries don’t really do it for me.

Plus its not like AP is gonna take the veteran’s minimum to play alongside Tom Brady. He just does not seem like that kind of guy. I’d rather the Pats stick with what they have, maybe sign some other decently talented (and younger) running back like oh idk KARLOS WILLIAMS. Rather than bring in this guy and try and force a square peg into a round hole. Would it be nice to have the Adrian Peterson from 2012? Of course, but this guy is not that guy. He’ll be 32 when next season starts and he has taken a *beating* over the past 10 years with over 2,400 carries. The next guys on that list who are either still active or just recently retired? Matt Forte, Marshawn Lynch and Chris Johnson. Not great company.

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Plus the Pats did just fine if I recall correctly, winning a Super Bowl with LeGarrette Blount carrying the ball primarily. A guy that Felger and Mazz ripped on and complained about how terrible he was from Day 1, despite rushing for 18 TD’s and almost 1,200 yards. I think TB12 and the Pats can make due without Adrian Peterson.

PS – Never forget the most frightening NFL commercial of all-time with AP just angrily running towards the camera in slow motion.

Gold Jacket, Green Jacket, Who Gives a Shit?

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The ’90s was a great decade, definitely the best of the four decades I’ve lived in. A booming economy, the rise of the world wide web, no major wars and Bubba holding things down in the White House. The ’90s also had more than its fair share of great television and movies. Happy Gilmore was a classic in its time the way Citizen Kane and Casablanca were in the early ’40s. They are great products of their respective times.

Happy Gilmore is also, arguably, the best Adam Sandler film. It is the one film I can quote endlessly with friends, and have them respond in turn with another classic Chubbs Peterson quip.

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A lot of ’90s nostalgia can get me feeling pretty old, but I don’t feel as bad when I realize that this movie came out before I hit 10. Looking back on Happy Gilmore 21 years later, here are three quick takeaways.

  1. Julie Bowen (Virginia Venit) looks better today than she did in 1996.fdvumz9
  2. Bob Barker may be the World’s Greatest Master of Ceremonies, but his fight scene in Happy Gilmore brought him adulation from a whole new demographic. It’s hard to imagine all those college students in the audience at The Price is Right in the late ’90s without him kicking Adam Sandler’s ass first.giphy
  3. One more thought on the fight scene. When commissioner Doug Thompson suspends Happy from the tour for getting into a fight with a game show host on national television, what was his archrival Shooter McGavin doing in that meeting?cqaidwpusaainrb

I could go on and on, but you should just pay tribute and watch this classic tonight. It’s the only movie I have on DVD AND VHS. So grab a footlong cold cut combo and settle in for this 92-minute time capsule from the great decade of the 1990’s.

Everyone’s Favorite Crazy Closer Brian Wilson Planning Comeback as a Knuckleballer

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ESPN – Former reliever Brian Wilson is planning a comeback — as a knuckleballer. Wilson hasn’t pitched professionally since 2014 with the Los Angeles Dodgers, but he recently has thrown for at least two teams, Yahoo Sports reports.

If there is anyone who deserves to have a second career as a knuckleballer it’s Brian Wilson. That guy is batshit crazy in the mold of someone like Bill the Spaceman Lee. Coming off his second Tommy John surgery, the days of Wilson throwing triple digits are in the rear view mirror. So we need Wilson to get good at knuckleballs and fast. Knuckleballers are notoriously a little odd, probably just because its one of those positions that so few people can relate to. You’re basically on your own trying to figure out how to make this whiffle ball pitch good enough to strike out major league hitters while throwing 60 mph meatballs.

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There’s so few pitchers that have been good at consistently throwing knuckleballs that its almost impossible to groom in a player. I mean the Red Sox had one of the best knuckleball pitchers ever in Tim Wakefield so a guy like Steven Wright definitely had a huge advantage.

As a knuckleballer, Wilson likely would attempt to move from relief to a starting role. “I can already see myself out there,” he told Yahoo, “throwing up some waffles.”

But can you imagine a former flamethrower in Wilson, a guy who used to throw up some sort of UFC/MMA “X” with his arms after nailing down a save, a guy who legit painted his beard with shoe polish so it would be jet black, that guy coming back as a slow pitch softball player on the mound? Just lofting knuckles hoping they don’t get hit to the goddamn moon? Would be A+ viewing material. Plus he’s a New Hampshire guy, so he’s definitely already a little bit off. He was born for this.

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Ranking the Patriots Super Bowl Calls

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We talked about it on The 300s Podcast this week, and I think the time has come to rank the game-winning calls from the five Patriots Super Bowl wins. Here’s my list, and my thoughts on the broadcasters and their calls. Apologies in advance for having to watch some of the clips on YouTube, but at least all the links are in one place now.

5. Super Bowl 38 – CBS – Greg Gumbel

Back in 2003, Jim Nantz was still on studio duty hosting The NFL Today and Greg Gumbel was the lead play-by-play announcer for CBS. Gumbel is a sold broadcaster, but there’s not much here. Neither the call after the field goal nor the call after the kickoff add much. There’s something to be said about letting the moment “breathe” and letting the pictures tell the story, but some narration here would have been great.

4. Super Bowl 39 – FOX – Joe Buck

Joe Buck’s first Super Bowl broadcast. I think Buck takes far more criticism than he deserves, but he falls into the same trap here that Gumbel did at the end of Super Bowl 38. It’s nice to let the moment breathe, but some excitement or commentary would have helped distinguish this interception with nine seconds remaining in the Super Bowl from an interception in Week 9.

3. Super Bowl 36 – FOX – Pat Summerall

This call gets a lot of flack. I remember not liking it much at the time, either, but it has grown on me. Sure, a little more excitement or commentary would have been nice. But this moment benefits the most from the broadcasters letting it breathe and letting the pictures tell the story of complete bedlam after time expired. This was also Pat Summerall’s last game as FOX’s lead football broadcaster. Watching game replays today I half expect him to start talking about the leather helmet days and about when men were men.

2. Super Bowl 51 – FOX – Joe Buck

The easiest call in sports might be the walk-off home run, and this is the closest equivalent in football. Buck does a good job to call the play, shows some excitement, and sums things up pretty well at the end. “Brady has his fifth! What a comeback!”

1. Super Bowl 49 – NBC – Al Michaels

Not the first time Al Michaels has taken the top spot on a “best sports calls” list and hopefully not the last. I love the excitement in his voice, and am very impressed that he was able to spit out the name Malcolm Butler so easily. Butler wasn’t exactly a household name at that point.

EXTRA POINT

Not sure what the NFL television contract situation looks like right now, but I’d love to see ESPN/ABC get another Super Bowl soon. No one beats Sean McDonough in moments like these.