LeBron “I’m Not the GM” James Now Openly Discussing Moves the Cavaliers Need to Make in the Media

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ESPN – “As the Cleveland Cavaliers finalize a deal to acquire sharpshooter Kyle Korver from the Atlanta Hawks on Friday, LeBron James declared that the work is not done for the defending champions.”

LeBron has it so, so good. The guy is 1,000% calling all the shots in Cleveland. He’s assembled the team he wants. He made the Cavs trade the No. 1 overall pick in Andrew Wiggins for Kevin Love (who he won’t even let in team Insta’s) and singlehandedly got the coach fired last year. Hell he probably even picks the Gatorade flavors in the lockerroom.

But if any moves go sour, if any acquisitions or trades flop, hey man I’m not the GM. YES YOU ARE. Well, now LeBron (I mean the Cavs GM David Griffin) has made another great move in trading (reported) for Kyle Korver. That’s just what this team needs to make life even more unfair for the rest of the East. But put all that aside, before Korver even lands in Believeland, LBJ is already dropping quotes like this to the media:

“We still got a couple more things we need to do,” James said at Cavs shootaround Friday morning in preparation for their game against the Brooklyn Nets on Friday. “We got to get a point guard.” It was a continuation of the point guard drum James was beating after the Cavs lost to Chicago on Wednesday. “Yeah, it’s my last time saying it,” James said. “We need a point guard.”

Man life is good when you’re LeBron. You’ve got an entire franchise by the balls on continuous 1-Year deals with the threat of opting out always looming. You get to be the de facto GM except for when shit hits the fan. And now he’s just publicly demanding additional moves to the press.

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I still LOVE Tyronn Lue though:

“With the trade for Korver still not official, Lue was initially coy about what his addition could mean. “What shooter?” Lue said. “Like me? Well, shit, if you add me, man, butt-naked shots, nobody around, I’d probably shoot 54 percent.”

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Tom Brady Now Hawking TB12 Under Armour Pajamas and I Need Them Like I Need Air

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SI – “Tom Brady says he can only work has hard—or perform as well—as his ability to recover. And he considers sleep the best way to recover, exactly why he strives for eight to 10 hours of uninterrupted zzz’s every night….With such an importance placed on sleep and recovery, it follows that the NFL star’s next signature product from Under Armour comes in the form of tech-infused sleepwear.”

Do I want the TB12 PJ’s? No that would be silly. I don’t want them. I *need* them. Like I need oxygen. If Tom Brady says I’ll sleep like a lamb wearing these things, then I’ll take two pairs. It the guy started a new religion a la Scientology, I would at least attend a couple masses just to get the feel.

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First he made UGGs cool for guys. Then he blew everyones mind with the most monk-like diet I’ve ever heard of. Now? PJ’s. If thats what it takes to play at an MVP level nearing 40 years old, like no one has ever done before, then I’ll hear him out.

“The TB12 Sleepwear line includes full-length shirts and pants—and a short-sleeve and shorts version—with bioceramics printed on the inside. The print, sourced from natural minerals, activates the body’s natural heat and reflects it back as far infrared energy, a common tool used to reduce inflammation and help the body recover faster.”

It reminds me of the Phiten necklaces legit every baseball player in the MLB and every guy in college wore. They were alleged to “improve your balance.” Thing was literally a little nylon rope with rubber at the end. If it was a really good one thought it had some shiny stickers on it too. Complete scam. But guess what? I bought the shit outta those things.

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Friday Morning Randomness

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It’s not unusual to be loved by anyone.
It’s not unusual to have fun with anyone. 

But when I see an old British dude singing Purple Rain, things get weird. Makes me a little sad to realize I was too young to enjoy the halcyon days of random-ass programming on MTV and VH1 at 3 AM.

Bill Belichick Sneaky Rips the NFL for Rule Changes Designed to Stop Ty Law

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So Mike Reiss had a great article today with what Bill Belichick had to say about Ty Law and his Hall of Fame candidacy. I have to point out some of the excellent nuggets of Bill subtly ripping the league once again.

“Asked if he felt Law was among the best at his position for a period of time, Belichick said Thursday morning, “He’s pretty good. When they start … I don’t want to say changing the rules, but changing the rules because of the way he plays, there’s probably something to be said for that.”

I think what he means to say is when Bill Polian bitched and moaned to the league and the Competition Committee (which Polian is on) because Ty Law and the Patriots dismantled the Colts. Ty Law just dominated receivers, mugged them and absolutely disrupted everything that murderous (allegedly) psycho Marvin Harrison, Peyton Manning and crew tried to do.

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That 03 AFC Championship Game Ty Law and the Pats beat the Colts 24-14. That defense set up shop in Peyton’s head and baited him into FOUR interceptions (3 from Ty Law alone). Like 2 weeks off winning the MVP, Peyton had one of his patented meltdowns. So Polian said enough is enough and petitioned the league to CHANGE THE FRIGGIN RULES.

“Belichick was referencing how the NFL made a point of emphasis against illegal contact in 2004. “I know they didn’t ‘change them’ change them, but we all know what happened,” he said.”

Oh we know Bill, we know. Luckily Ty Law’s game was more than just jamming receivers though, hence the HOF candidacy.

Cry Baby Grayson Allen Back After One Game Suspension: Is Going to Get MUGGED in the NBA

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Yahoo Sports – Grayson Allen’s indefinite suspension didn’t last long. Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski reinstated his preseason All-American on Wednesday night after just a one-game absence. Allen started Wednesday’s 110-57 rout of Georgia Tech and helped spearhead the onslaught. The junior guard scored 15 points and dished out seven assists, providing the creativity and distribution off the dribble that Duke lacked with Allen unavailable for last Saturday’s loss at Virginia Tech.
You wanna talk about a guy that is going to get RAGDOLLED in the NBA? Grayson Allen is your guy. Now I’m not an NBA draft geek so maybe he won’t even get drafted, I don’t know (Draft Express has him ranked as their No. 38 prospect). I just assume every good player on top NCAA teams get there. And this kid is going to be the poster child for rude awakenings. Imagine if he’s tripping gigantic men in the NBA? He’s going to get snuffed. And before you throw Draymond Green out there saying he pulls the same stuff, Draymond Green can get away with this shit because he’s 6’7″ 230 lbs and looks like this:

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Just for comparisons sake, Grayson Allen looks like this:

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And what a puss Coack K is. I honestly don’t even care that he only had a 1 game suspension. But when you throw your balls down on the table and say your best player is going to be suspended for an “indefinite” period of time, you look pretty weak when after 1 game you relent. Come on K, you got Carmelo to play D-E-F-E-N-S-E in the Olympics for Christ’s sake.  I think you can handle one little rich kid.

P.S. – Still the best white yuppy who just jacks up shots to come out of Duke and actually make it in the NBA was and always will be JJ Reddick. That guy looked like he was gonna play himself out of the league, but he developed his game and most importantly got a sleeve tattoo and bang: legit NBA player.

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Odell Beckham Almost Bags Sterling Shepard Taking Adderall On Instagram During Infamous Boat Party

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SNY – Giants wide receiver Sterling Shepard was offered and turned down Adderall, a prescription stimulant, during his recent trip to Miami, according to a TerezOwens.com report. Shepard, along with wide receivers Odell Beckham, Victor Cruz and Roger Lewis were seen partying in Miami on a yacht with Justin Bieber and rappers Fabolous and Trey Songz following the Giants’ win over the Redskins.

What an absolute bunch of morons. Its one thing to be out partying when you have a few days off. Its another thing to be on a boat with rappers and drugs a few days before your biggest game of the year.

Sure, maybe Shepard did indeed turn down anything offered his way, thats not my point. I don’t care if these guys are blowing lines of Adderall off bathroom stalls. My point is these dummies are putting themselves in terrible positions just days before a PLAYOFF game. Can you even imagine Julian Edelman and Danny Amendola partying on a boat before a game? Not even Gronk does that shit, who has been on the record saying he doesn’t even drink during the season. No. Those guys get shitfaced and tear up the city *after* they win the Super Bowl. Not before the postseason even starts.

Sure the Giants beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl. Twice. I remember. But theres a reason the Pats are in the hunt every single year and its the first time the Giants have made the playoffs in half a decade and its shit like this.

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A video posted by Odell Beckham Jr (@royal_objr) on Jan 2, 2017 at 3:10pm PST

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Bruins Waive Anton Khudobin, Could Really Use a Young Goalie Prospect

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The Bruins just waived backup goalie Anton Khudobin, who had some decent success in his last go round with the B’s in 2012-13, but the guy’s numbers have been awful this year at 1-5-1 with an .885 save percentage. That just ain’t gonna get it done in the NHL these days.

It got to the point that every time Tuukka Rask wasn’t playing, it was a goddamn adventure out there. For all the crap people gave Tuukka last year for not “carrying” the Bruins, thats exactly what he’s doing this year. When he’s in net the B’s have a shot against most teams. When he’s not? Circus adventure. Zane McIntyre seems to be the next man up from Providence, who has been crushing it in down in the AHL, but had a rough go his last time up to Boston (10 goals on 71 shots for .859 save percentage).

It’s too bad the Bruins don’t have a goalie in waiting that they used a 1st round draft pick on a few years back….that’d be awesome to have a guy like that.

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New T-Shirt Alert! Chris Long With an All-Time Quote

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ESPN – “Look, I get it, there’s a playoff beard thing. But I decided I wanted a mustache this week,” Long said Wednesday morning with a touch of humor. “It might be there next week, it might not. I’m the captain of my destiny.”…”I get to decide what facial hair [I have]. People on the Internet were like ‘Dude, where’s your [beard]? and I was like, ‘Really? Is that like a prerequisite? Sorry, I do playoff mustache.”

What an absolute all-time quote here from Chris Long. And it makes perfect sense too. Playoff Beard? Why? Because everyone else does that. No way. Playoff Mustache. When you zig, Chris Long zags. Had to do it. T-shirts for all.

<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet” data-lang=”en”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>&quot;There’s a playoff beard thing, but I decided I wanted a mustache…I’m the captain of my destiny.” – DE Chris Long <a href=”https://t.co/GgaflrA8YA”>pic.twitter.com/GgaflrA8YA</a></p>&mdash; Mike Reiss (@MikeReiss) <a href=”https://twitter.com/MikeReiss/status/816683478397964288″>January 4, 2017</a></blockquote>
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Rating Yahoo’s Rankings of the Best Possible Patriots Super Bowl Matchups

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So I’ll save you the pain of imagining a Texans-Cowboys Super Bowl matchup, which Yahoo’s Shutdown Corner had ranked as the worst possible game. Four of the top 5 and 5 of the top 7 potential matchups are all Patriots games too. Who says people don’t wanna see another Pats SB? To the ratings!

7. Patriots – Giants: “Third time’s gotta be a charm, right Pats fans?”

Rating: A+ // This game would be the granddaddy of them all. I would be living off adrenaline and anxiety for two weeks straight leading up to this game. I need to beat the Giants in a Super Bowl more than I need oxygen. It’s like acid in my mouth. Buuuttt, Playoffs Eli scares the shit out of me for obvious reasons and I don’t think I can emotionally handle a 3rd straight SB loss to the Giants. But there coach has a mustache and looks like he’s on a list somewhere so maybe things are different this time. Tread carefully.

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5. Patriots – Seahawks: “Seattle isn’t what it’s been in the past, but it beat New England in Foxborough this season and Super Bowl 49 was an absolute classic. We’ll gladly roll the dice on another round.”

Rating: B+ // This would be another great matchup, the rematch of arguably the best Super Bowl ever with (not arguable) the greatest ending ever. Part of me worries the Seahawks get their revenge, but the last 5 times the Pats have played Seattle have gone: Loss (2016 reg season), Win (SB XLIX), Loss (2012 reg season), Win (2008 reg season). Soo science says the Patriots win this one.

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4. Patriots – Falcons: “This matchup might not be at the front of everyone’s mind, but it has just as much potential for a great game with the league’s top scoring defense (New England) trying to harness the league’s top scoring offense (Atlanta).”

Rating: C+ // I want to rank this higher, but every angle that the media will play to hype this game seem forced. Thomas Dmitroff left NE, built this Atlanta team and is now going against his former boss Bill Belichick, Former Boston College stud Matt Ryan going up against the Boston pro team etc. However it would be pretty interesting to see the NFL’s No. 1 scoring offense (ATL) vs the NFL’s No. 1 scoring defense (NE) and see who takes the title.

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3. Patriots – Packers: “Tom Brady vs. Aaron Rodgers. What more do you need?”

Rating: B- // Yahoo somehow did not mention a SB XXXI rematch?? (Still the best SB logo ever BTW) Belichick was just a young pup in 1996, the assistant coach under Bill Parcells. Think Belichick would love to beat the same franchise his mentor and boss couldn’t? Plus Brady vs Rodgers would indeed be a matchup made in Madden exhibition mode.

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1. Patriots – Cowboys: “Yes, Super Bowl media week would be insane and there’s no way anyone is running out of storylines with Jerry Jones around. But take away the hoopla that would cause TV ratings records to be smashed and we’re still left with a game between two teams that were the best in the NFL from wire to wire this year. If this matchup happens, it’ll be the fourth straight Super Bowl that the No. 1 seeds meet in the Super Bowl.”

Rating: B+ // The two biggest franchises in the NFL. America’s Team vs the Team That Invented America. The parallels are crazy too. A young QB stepping in for the injured veteran, playing so well he keeps the job and leads his team to a Super Bowl title. Shit, no I don’t like the way this is setting up. Luckily the Pats run defense is their strength because Ezekiel Elliot could dominate this game single handedly. In the end though I think Brady and co. make it a track meet and I don’t think Dak Prescott, as well as he’s played, is ready to win that kind of game yet.