Tag: Albert Breer

My Fantasy QB Cam Newton is Dressing Bad, Playing Worse

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Look, sometimes I enjoy dressing like a dickhead too. Maybe throw on some white jeans when I’m in a beach town and have a couple crafties by the water. But Cam Newton cannot continue to dress like Audrey Hepburn if he is going to keep putting up these disastrous fantasy performances.

I honestly don’t know what I did to Ron Rivera to deserve such blatant disrespect for my fantasy team, but he’s about to get himself fired with bullshit play calls like this.

In reality he’s probably still hurt after offseason shoulder surgery and an ankle injury in the preseason because he missed throws that literally I could make on multiple occasions last night.

I give him credit for shouldering the blame, but I don’t know if he actually gets it. It sure as shit doesn’t seem like it with SNL worthy clips like this from his post game presser.

If we’re being honest I knew I was in trouble last week after I saw him strutting to the podium wearing a hat wrapped in barbed wire immediately following a 5 point performance.

Maybe this is all some abstract art project like the time Joaquin Phoenix pretended to lose his mind just because. I remember being legitimately concerned for the guy and it all turned out to be a hoax. Remember even David Letterman almost kicked his ass.

But hey, if I can’t win a fantasy football matchup, at least I can laugh at my own expense. Here are the best of the rest smoking Aunt May Cam Newton’s outfit last night.

The AAF Has Officially Folded. We Hardly Knew Ye

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SI – The Alliance of American Football will suspend football operations on Tuesday, reports ProFootballTalk. The league is just eight weeks into its inaugural season.

SI’s Albert Breer reported AAF team officials have a conference call with the league office at 1 p.m. ET. Breer reported there’s a perception inside the league that AAF majority owner Tom Dundon bought a bought a stake in the league for the gambling app being developed with one source saying, “Dundon got the technology he wanted and he’s now minus one rather large headache.” SI’s Conor Orr reported league heads were stunned and still working on a solution.

According to ProFootballTalk, the league is not folding yet but it is heading that way.

The writing has been on the wall for a while now as I’ve already written a few blogs over the past month about the AAF nearly going out of business and it’s barely Month 3 of the league’s lifespan. Welp, that’ll do it for the AAF apparently, who is heading the way of the dinosaur.

I won’t rehash the same things I said in my last blog on this, but here’s what I had to say on a league not having a plan to make it through even one season:

“Who is running these leagues? Obviously we’ve seen football leagues come and go over the past 20 years as the NFL has maintained its stranglehold on consumers’ attention without even lifting a finger. Most of these leagues fail because its just morons running the business side of things it would seem.

In marketing they say the average person needs to see an ad or a brand message seven times before it sticks. Now apply that to the AAF. How many AAF games do you think the average sports fan has watched? One? Maybe two? The AAF *had* to be prepared for slow adoption, otherwise it was a stupid business venture.”

But then there’s that tidbit from Bert Breer’s report that Tom Dundon, the Carolina Hurricanes owner that invested $250M to save the league last month, has basically sold the league not for its football but for it’s technological IP.

If thats true that is wild and I can imagine the other owners are bullshit. Those other owners probably feel swindled for paying to build up this football league only to have an investor come in and sell the whole thing for parts. But hey thats what happens when you sell majority ownership to a billionaire; you give up control. It’s fascinating just because I’ve never heard of anything like it. For all of its failings, the AAF was at least trying out innovative things, like the makings of a gambling app apparently.

Then on the other side of the Football Leagues Competing With the NFL coin is Vince McMahon who smells blood in the water now.

“Vince McMahon, who plans to give the XFL another shot next year, has sold $272 million worth of WWE stock, and company filings say that money will primarily go toward the XFL..McMahon has said he’s ready to spend $500 million over the first three years of the XFL to get the league off the ground, suggesting that even if the league struggles to gain traction at first, he’ll stick with it rather than pulling the plug after one season”

Vince seems to be pretty confident, cocky some would say, that he has fixed the issues that plagued the XFL the first time around. Despite the fact that a very similar concept just failed spectacularly, Vince has doubled down and is apparently ready to pour $500 million into the XFL.

Who knows if the XFL will be any more successful than the AAF, but I’ll tell you one thing, Vince will not fail because of a lack of marketing and promotion. Thats his bread and butter so don’t be surprised to see mass media promotions and gigantic billboards featuring Johnny Football, maybe Colin Kaepernick and whatever other fringe NFL players with a big name that they can find. Either way, this whole 2-3 year drama of new football leagues popping up and dying off will be a fascinating case study of monopolies in American business as the NFL crushes these competitors without even lifting a finger.

Speaking of Manziel, he’s the voice of reason and restraint here today, which was refreshing to see. My man is once again a free agent and as I’ve said before, it’s probably XFL or bust for his football career at this point.

Brian Hoyer Seems to Have Singlehandedly Won the Super Bowl for the Patriots

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Yahoo – Patriots backup quarterback Brian Hoyer used one of the projects [Peyton] Manning is currently involved with to help him prepare his teammates on defense for the Super Bowl…He bounced around a bit, but got a chance to be a starter in 2013-14 with the Cleveland Browns. In Cleveland, Hoyer played under offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan — and a young coach named Sean McVay, who was then tight ends coach.

Via Albert Breer of The MMQB, Hoyer (who also played for Shanahan in San Francisco) believed he’d have institutional knowledge of the offense McVay now runs with the Rams because of his time in Shanahan’s system.

So in the days before the Super Bowl he watched Manning’s “Detail” on ESPN+, the episode centered around Rams quarterback Jared Goff, and quickly realized the offense is the same one he worked in.

Hoyer watched film of the Rams, saw an interview in which Goff and McVay discussed McVay being in Goff’s ear right up until the 15-second cutoff during games, and for good measure, he watched the Amazon series “All or Nothing” which focused primarily on the last days of Jeff Fisher’s tenure with the organization but included McVay’s first organized team activities from his first months with the Rams.

The language was the same.

Armed with all of that, Hoyer was able to do a great job impersonating Goff during practice, preparing his teammates for how to play Los Angeles’ young quarterback.

I mean this was bound to happen sooner or later was it not? You have one of the best, most analytical quarterbacks of all-time in Peyton Manning just breaking down game footage for anyone with $4.99 in their pocket to see. Surely someone was going to watch that and use it to their advantage. Especially the Patriots if their opponent in the Rams appeared on said show. Especially if those MORONS didn’t even bother to change anything in the last 5 fucking years.

The key excerpt is just that. Brian Hoyer, from his time playing under Kyle Shanahan, and a young Sean McVay, on two different teams knew the type of system they like to run on offense. Except it wasn’t just the system that was the same.

“The language was the same.”

How is that even possible? For a league that treats the smallest of details like Soviet Bloc state secrets this is laughable. Now a lot of coaches rehash the same ideologies and styles of play over the years (i.e. Andy Reid, Wade Phillips), but to just re-use the same system without even changing a word here or there? Come on Sean, you learn this in every 9th grade homeroom across America when you need to copy off of your buddy’s homework.

 This was why it took two full years for the “A Football Life” documentary on Bill Belichick to come out. Released in 2011, the doc featured behind the scenes footage of the 2009 Patriots season, the one made famous for Bill predicting how easily the Pats would be stopped in the playoffs:

and him commiserating with Tom Brady on the sidelines during a blowout to the Saints

That was legendary, behind the scenes, insightful footage that I never thought would see the light of day. But it literally took two years after the season ended to come out. When half the players featured were no longer even on the team.  Not a couple of weeks after a game in real time so anyone with an ESPN+ subscription can watch behind the scenes Rams footage to go along with Rams game tape as well as a Hall of Fame quarterback breaking it down so even idiots like me can follow along.

Well hats off to Brian Hoyer for doing his goddamn job.

Hoyer had done such a good job preparing his teammates that when the Patriots were practicing in Atlanta, he felt frustrated.

“They had everything covered,” Hoyer said. “I was like, ‘Either these guys know what all our plays are, or they’re gonna ball out in the game.’ You could see it. They were playing so fast, they were so on top of it. And you get to the game, and they go and have the best defensive performance I’ve ever witnessed.”

The rest, as they say, is history.