Tag: Alex Guerrero

A List of the Top Tom Brady Documentaries, Cameos, and Skits to Watch While Self Quarantining

By on • ( 2 Comments )

Tom Brady will soon be holding up the jersey of another team and I fully expect that sight to make me weep and/or vomit. So in the meantime while we’re all self quarantining anyways, lets break open the Disney Vault and go through all of the best Tom Brady documentaries, cameos, and skits from over the years.

The Brady 6
If you’ve never seen this NFL Films doc, it is pure Tom Brady porn so make sure you do it alone. It details all the bums drafted ahead of Brady and how all their careers played out. “He has four goats” is still the greatest ether these ears have ever heard.

The Great Brady Heist
A relatively recent addition to the Brady archives, I just caught this one on FOX Sports 1 last night and it was *electric.* If you’re a fan of true crime docs then this one is for you because it details how TB12 had his Super Bowl LI jersey stolen right out of his locker after completing the greatest comeback in sports history and how the authorities got it back.

Tom vs Time
This is a quick watch as most episodes are only 10-15 minutes long, but this Facebook Watch exclusive was a fascinating look behind the curtain into Tom Brady’s every day life. His family at home, his relationship with Alex Guerrero, post game phone calls with Josh McDaniels etc. It also offered a now prophetic glimpse into Brady’s future plans as the shine wore off with Belichick.

Three Games to Glory (Take your pick)
These were difficult to find on the interwebs aside from a few clips here and there as they are the DVDs produced and sold directly by the Patriots. So you may need to pony up to see them all, but it never hurts to build out the collection.

Peyton’s Places with Tom Brady
The full 30 minute episode is available only on ESPN+ so you might not be able to watch it for free, but this was a great piece of content. If you still blindly hate Peyton Manning and can’t get past that to watch these two legends chop it up, you’re missing out.

America’s Game: New England Patriots
These are the NFL Network documentaries of the Super Bowl champs they do every year. I’m sure you’ve seen some or all of these, but holy hell are there a lot of episodes on the Patriots! Take your pick: 2001, 2003, 2004, 2014, 2016, 2018. My personal favorite is the 2001 episode, solely because it features a *young* Tom Brady sharing what Drew Bledsoe told him on the sidelines during the game.

Do Your Job Bill Belichick and the 2014 New England Patriots
Another masterfully produced documentary from NFL Films, this one breaks down the 2014 Patriots season. It’s definitely more of a focus on Bill, but you get some great Tom Brady highlights in there.

A Football Life: Bill Belichick
Again this is another NFL Films doc that focuses primarily on Belichick, but you get some delicious interviews and mic’d up clips of Tom Brady. Released in 2011, you get never before seen footage, most notably after the 2009 beatdown from the Saints on MNF, Brady is shown venting to Bill how he “can’t get these guys to play the way I need them to play.” It’s actually two parts, both of which you can watch below.

Detail: Peyton Manning on Tom Brady
This is another ESPN+ exclusive and is one I haven’t checked out yet, but Detail is an excellent watch if you’re into the X’s and O’s.

Entourage – “Fore!”
One of the best cameos on a show that had multiple per episode so thats saying something. Brady dominates in all facets of life including on the links and even befriending dick head New Yorkers. Check this Season 6 episode out on HBO Go.

Ted 2
Two words. Golden. Balls.

Jimmy Kimmel Skit
Matt Damon just can’t catch a break.

Saturday Night Live
Tom Brady hosted SNL once and only once, back in 2005 and he absolutely killed. Probably because of the times we live in now and the #MeToo movement, but the laugh out loud funny Sexual Harassment PSA skit has all been scrubbed from the internet. But I still found it.

What I Learned from the Tom Brady Tom vs Time Epilogue

By on • ( Leave a comment )

To be honest, not much. When news of this Tom vs Time epilogue dropped out of the clouds I was a little nervous. People were theorizing that he might use it as an opportunity to announce his retirement. What it really seemed like though was a PR market adjustment attempt by Tom Brady. This offseason was not a great one for Tom’s image as rumors of infighting with Belichick, rumors of him threatening to retire, all the Alex Guerrero drama, and then of course his buddy and TB12 client Julian Edelman getting popped for PEDs.

So it seems like Tom just wanted to put his spin on everything and let people know that despite all the noise, its just that; noise. He still intends to play for as long as he can aka “5 more years.” So we’ll see, but I don’t think that 5 minutes of Tom vs Time can make you feel anything other than confident Brady is focused on getting that next ring.

With all that being said…

There is TONS of fire flames TB12 swag in the pipelines that I can only hope is coming our way soon.

Did anyone else catch this?

TB12 SHOES. Sorry Kanye, but Tom Brady just became my lord and savior in the sneaker world. So you better believe I will have my eyes open and on the lookout for these babies.

And the 5 Rings hoodie?

Just take my credit card information right now.

Tom Brady teased us for years with the TB12 hats before we were able to actually buy them. Once they went on sale I did not wait around. I bought two.

What can I say, the man knows how to market. I will, however, NOT buy a vibrating foam roller. Come on now.

 

BREAKING: Tom Brady Announces New Episode of Tom vs Time for Tomorrow at Noon

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Breathe, just breathe. Tom Brady just announced on Facebook that he is dropping a new episode of Tom vs Time from the clouds tomorrow at noon. Why is he doing this? I feel like Ari Gold when Terrance came to visit him at home in the bar mitzvah episode.

But seriously, this show had a very definitive ending with the Patriots losing the Super Bowl and Tom pretty openly questioning his commitment to football.

It was a pretty controversial and was really just the beginning of a completely hectic offseason that featured infighting, rumors of both Brady and Gronk threatening to retire, Alex Guerrero got his groove back, with Gronk and Brady getting reworked contracts.

But there has been a cloud over this team for the better part of 7 months and now 4 days before the Patriots are set to kick off their 2018 season, Tom Brady busts his Facebook show out of the Disney Vault after saying time and time again he was done with Tom vs Time. Why?

On 98.5 this morning they were throwing out conspiracy theories saying that Brady may announce his retirement and that 2018 will be his last season. Or maybe he just wants to put his own spin on the narrative that got away from him this offseason after one of his favorite guys in Amendola left town, skipping OTAs, as well as his WR1 and TB12 client Julian Edelman getting popped for PEDs.

Who knows what the hell is going to be said on this episode tomorrow, but I suggest everybody take their lunch break at noon tomorrow with a pair of headphones and your iPhone.

The Patriots Have Become TNT: We Know Drama

By on • ( Leave a comment )

The latest episode of The 300s Podcast is LIVE! Click here to listen or download on iTunes or Google Play.

We talk about Julian Edelman’s possible suspension and how apparently the NFL doesn’t even know what he tested positive for, how does this all affect Tom Brady and TB12, some good old fashioned Boston media on media crime and more! Listen, subscribe, and review us on iTunes, Google Play or wherever you get your podcasts!

Now the NFL Doesn’t Know What Edelman Tested Positive For; NFL Scientists Trying to Figure it Out

By on • ( Leave a comment )

SI – “I know what Julian Edelman posted on Instagram in the wake of the suspension news (“I don’t know what happened”) came off as a little weird, but there is an explanation for it. I was told Edelman’s result was triggered by a substance that wasn’t immediately recognizable, and there are scientists analyzing it. And as to the timing, the test did happen during the offseason (a couple months ago), which means it’s not for any kind of stimulant. You might remember the rash of players saying they got popped for Adderall—the rules have changed now so that offseason use of stimulants falls under the substances of abuse policy, rather than the PED policy.”

Late last week Julian Edelman got popped for PEDs, but it wasn’t immediately known what he had actually tested positive for. However, Bert Breer of MMQB reported today that Edelman’s “I don’t know what happened” defense may not be totally unfounded because apparently the NFL doesn’t know what happened either.

“I was told Edelman’s result was triggered by a substance that wasn’t immediately recognizable, and there are scientists analyzing it.”

Ask anyone who has read “Game of Shadows” or “Juiced” or followed really any of the Olympic track scandals over the past 20 years; the steroid scientists are always ahead of the league scientists. Its just a constant game of catch up as the leagues are trying to reverse engineer everything and figure out what to test for. With that being said, when they do pop someone its usually a hybrid substance or a masking agent of another substance that triggers the test. Breer makes it seem like Edelman tested positive for something the NFL has never seen. But if thats the case, then is the substance he took actually banned? Did Edelman even know if it was or wasn’t?

I mean technically, if its not a banned substance then you can’t suspend a guy for it. You would have to at least inform the NFLPA that it will soon be banned and that it will be tested for in the future. Without knowing all the details its hard to say who’s more in the wrong here (neither Edelman nor the NFL are in the right) because if you’re the NFL how can you suspend a guy for something you didn’t know even existed let alone banned? If you’re Edelman WTF are you doing taking something that isn’t 100% approved by the NFL. A lot of players won’t even step foot in a GNC anymore because who the hell knows whats in half of the supplements they sell? If you don’t know, then don’t risk it.

So the real question is what did Edelman test positive for? Adamantium? Vibranium? The symbiote that forms Venom?

Or is it a TB12 cocktail? I’m certainly not going to point the finger because it would be criminally negligent for Alex Guerrero and Tom Brady to be signing off on anything even approaching questionable as part of the TB12 Method. Doing so would essentially submarine a potential billion dollar business in a second.

But thats not to say the media won’t make the connection, allude to the connection, or nearly come to blows arguing over the mere mention of a possible connection.

Either way the Patriots have become a constant source of drama and gossip this offseason, which is the antithesis of what this team has been for the past 18 years. Thats tough to ignore because where there’s smoke there’s usually fire. But until that shoe drops, I fully expect the team to win 12+ games and be chasing another Super Bowl this year. So for all the critics calling for the end of the dynasty, saying every great team run ends the same; It only ends once. Everything before that is just progress.

Apparently Tom Brady Hasn’t Committed to Playing in 2018. This is My Nightmare

By on • ( Leave a comment )

So after my Patriots blog yesterday telling everyone to RE-LAX, Adam Schefter just told me to go get my shine box.

I’m just going to quickly summarize my emotions in the only way I know how because I’m a socially awkward millennial; using a GIF.

I don’t want to do a full 180 on my take from yesterday because I still believe everything I wrote, but that was also with me assuming the psychotically competitive Tom Brady would compartmentalize whatever bullshit disputes there were going on so he could get back to chasing Super Bowls.

But now Adam Schefter comes in from the clouds to ruin my Wednesday morning commute with a report that Brady hasn’t officially committed to playing in 2018. Does that mean he’s out? Of course not. Does this concern the shit out of me? Absolutely. With all the soap operas surrounding this team for the past 4-5 months, the reported power struggles, the alarmingly open ended finale to Tom vs Time; all of that has been building up and stewing. For a team that has always kept distractions to a minimum (they literally killed Tebow Mania in an afternoon) this, their biggest distraction ever, has only gotten worse. Typically when you keep sparking flint near a powder keg it doesn’t just resolve itself and go away. No, that shit usually blows sky high.

So if Brady comes back and plays then obviously no harm no foul, but the fact that IF he’ll play this season is even a question is a problem. What I really do not want to see this turn into is the modern day Brett Favre saga. That was painful to watch and you know it pissed off everyone involved. But more so, you just know Belichick will shut that shit down like he’s late on the cable bill if Brady waffles on playing. I mean the NFL Draft is next week for christ’s sake. Would it surprise anyone if the Pats said oh you’re not sure if you want to play? Welp we just traded up and drafted a new franchise QB.

Its like Bill Belichick is Arthur Curry

And I’m Bruce Wayne. “Thats not the saying.”

I would hate to see my favorite team and my favorite player break up over this high stakes pissing match just because Bill wouldn’t let Tom’s guru personal trainer into the locker room. This is on everyone by the way, I’m not blaming Brady or Belichick. Together they’re still the odds on favorite to win the Super Bowl. We’re all adults here so lets be better. Thats what they’ve done for 18 years.

In These Dark Days for Patriots Fans I Offer a Market Correction

By on • ( 1 Comment )

With all the hysteria surrounding the Patriots after some viral comments from former players like Danny Amendola and the missed OTAs by Gronk and Brady, I think its time for a little market correction. And no this is 100% not an increasingly on edge Patriots fan trying to force some sunshine into your newsfeed…

Obviously with every hot take artist out there all we here is how Amendola called Bill Belichick an asshole, but conveniently leave out the fact that Amendola in the very next sentence goes on to laud the approach because it was what made them successful, which is why he respects Bill.

“It’s not easy, that’s for sure. He’s an asshole sometimes. There were a lot of things I didn’t like about playing for him, but I must say, the things I didn’t like were all in regards to getting the team better, and I respected him,” he said. “I didn’t like practicing in the snow, I didn’t like practicing in the rain, but that was going to make us a better football team and that was going to make me a better football player. It wasn’t easy, and he’d be the first to admit, at the [Super Bowl] ring ceremony, that it wasn’t easy playing for him. The silver lining was that we were at the ring ceremony.“

Now everyone is freaking out because Brady and Gronk missed the start of OTAs leaving out the fact that they’re voluntary workouts. Literally, they’re workouts, not practices:

And while I still don’t love the idea of Brady missing anything, its not entirely unprecedented. He’s missed some time in OTAs in 08, 09, and 2010. Lets not mention the fact that those were some of the leanest years for the franchise in the past 20 years….

MOVING ON

The point of this blog is to offer a market correction. Lets right set exactly what draws players to this horrible place we call New England, even knowing full well how much of a psycho the guy twirling the whistle on his finger is.

Martellus Bennett recently announced his retirement after an injury shortened second stint with the Patriots. When Bennett was healthy he was an absolute stud and a huge factor in the Patriots winning another Super Bowl. Another shining example of a “problem player” coming to NE and somehow just “figuring it out.” That shit is not a coincidence folks. Bennett actually does a great job of illuminating exactly why this approach is so successful, especially for players that have not been in a similar environment previously.

“Bennett played for five teams in his 10 NFL seasons, but he says the Patriots are different, and that his time with the organization helped prepare him to run his own business. “It was the first team I ever went to where I got an employee handbook,” he says. “And I was like, ‘Wait, what? An employee handbook?’ It was the first place where you felt like, they’re running a business, you’re part of a business, this is your role in the business, this is what we expect from you.”

He adds that he observed a policy of transparency around the franchise: “The thing about the Patriots is the honesty around the building, from top to bottom,” he says. “Everyone is honest with everyone. If someone feels a certain way, they’re honest about it, Bill’s honest about it, he tells you exactly what he’s feeling. Some teams like to deal with issues with players in private, but everybody knows what’s going on, but then nobody knows the result of what really happened, so it creates gossip. With the Patriots, there’s not room for that, because everything is upfront.”

So the Patriots expect a ton from you. In return they are honest (if painfully so), transparent, clear in their expectations, and they lay out exactly what is required to do your job. That sounds simplistic, but its really not. Most businesses in this country don’t even run that way. Most businesses have a fundamental crack in one of those pillars, which creates ambiguity, confusion, resentment, and dissension. The Patriots have a rock solid foundation, which is why they are successful.

Then we have free agents who willingly elect to sign with the Patriots. But why? If so many guys hate it then why do they come here? Because they know by playing for the Patriots they will maximize every single ounce of potential they have as a player. For Jordan Matthews that was too good to pass up.

“I think probably the biggest reason [for picking New England] was I knew this was the best opportunity for me to grow as a player,” Matthews told reporters Thursday at Gillette Stadium. “I had some other teams that contacted me that I visited, but I knew just as a player and as a man — I’m recently married, about to have my first child — I don’t think I’m called to be comfortable. And I knew this would be a great place for me to grow, not only as a player but as a man in general.”

Does this guy sound like a Patriot from Day 1 or what? We continue.

“I feel like it’s so easy for us as people to say, ‘OK, what’s the easiest role, and what’s the path of least resistance?’ And then we look up at our lives and we’re 80 years old, and we haven’t done anything great. And so, In my life, in my self, I’m not looking for the easiest route to make myself look great. I want to always do what’s going to make it harder for me to attain any level of success, so that way, anything I can do has meaning.”

God I hope this dude makes the team.

So as I round the corner heading into 1,000 words my point to everyone reading this is just take a deep breath and RE-LAX. Have things been a bit more rocky since the Seth Wickersham article came out? Yes. Have we started hearing more about the TB12 power struggle, Tom vs Time questioning Brady’s future, and Gronk openly waffling on playing in 2018? Yes, yes, yes. Have we had to watch beloved guys like Danny Amendola sign for more money somewhere else? Yup. But this is the way its always been with the Patriots and for good reason.

So while it may be a Patriots homer kind of thing to say, but I’m going to sit back and let the team do its thing because thats whats gotten them 5 Super Bowls. Having Tom Brady lets the team cover A TON of their deficiencies, but reading those quotes from Martellus Bennett and Jordan Matthews just remind me that this organization is built to be more than just a football team. They’re a business operation.

ESPN Asks Who Are the Best QBs in Patriots History? Hmm

By on • ( Leave a comment )

ESPN asked the question of who are the 5 greatest Patriots QBs of all time? Let me stop you right there ESPN.

Tom Brady.  Tom Brady. Tom Brady. Tom Brady. Tom Brady. Because I spit hot fire.

But, seriously why is this even a list? The best 5 quarterbacks in Patriots history? Tom Brady is No. 1 and then Alex Guerrero is No. 2 for providing Brady with all of his (completely legal) TB12 voodoo magic to play at an MVP level at the age of 40. Then I guess maybe Drew Bledsoe at 3. That’s it.

In case you’re curious how the world-wide leader ranked the top QB’s in Patriots history:

  1. Tom Brady
  2. Drew Bledsoe
  3. Steve Grogan
  4. Babe Parilli
  5. Jim Plunkett
  6. Tony Eason

Tom Brady to Grace the Cover of Madden 2018 at 40 Years Old

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Alright now…how to react to this news?

A younger version of myself would freak out at the prospect of my franchise quarterback appearing on the cover of Madden because dudes used to routinely get injured after landing the cover. But TB12 put that to rest real quick with a few simple demonstrations.

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FTomBrady%2Fvideos%2F1560009470706864%2F&show_text=0&width=560

Smashed mirror? No problem? Walk under a ladder? Get that shit out of my face.

Lets get scientific about it though and break it down year by year, going back an arbitrary number of years because Madden 03 was the first Madden I actually had. On the PC no less. You ever try running go routes on a 12 inch computer screen? Holy hell, but I digress. Onto the list, with some help from Digital Trends.

  • 2003: Marshall Faulk has one of his worst years ever and its the beginning of the end of his career.
    • CURSE: In full effect
  • 2004: Michael Vick fractures his fibula and misses the first 11 games of the season
    • CURSE: 100%
  • 2005: Ray Lewis has a down year, but nothing curse worthy…he did tear his hamstring the following year though.
    • CURSE: Meh
  • 2006: Donovan McNabb was plagued by a groin injury before tearing his ACL later in the year.
    • CURSE: You bet
  • 2007: Shaun Alexander broke his foot in Week 3 that season.
    • CURSE: Prevails once again
  • 2008: Vince Young was plagued by quad injuries all year before being replaced by KERRY COLLINS.
    • CURSE: Continues to cruise
  • 2009: Brett Favre played pretty well actually before injuring his shoulder down the stretch and tanking his (and the Jets) effectiveness.
    • CURSE: Yea, not even including Brett’s cell phone pic troubles
  • 2010: Larry Fitzgerald/Troy Polamalu – Fitz actually had a career year, but Polamalu injured his MCL, missed a month and then eventually injured his PCL as well.
    • CURSE: 50/50 split but still yes
  • 2011: Drew Brees stayed healthy but threw twice as many picks as the year prior and the Saints lost to the first team to ever make the playoffs with a losing record in Seattle that year.
    • CURSE: Not reallyyy
  • 2012: Peyton Hillis came out of nowhere to have a huge year to land the cover of Madden only to battle illness and hamstring issues all season. Rushed for under 600 yards, the Browns let him walk after the season and that was a wrap on Hillis’ career.
    • CURSE: Yup, you sunk my battleship
  • 2013: Calvin Johnson set the single season record for receiving yards soo he did alright.
    • CURSE: Nope, Megatron shatters it
  • 2014: Adrian Peterson battled through a foot injury all year long and the Vikings only won 10 games.
    • CURSE: Yessir
  • 2015: Richard Sherman had a great season and stayed healthy…but they did lose to the Patriots in the Super Bowl.
    • CURSE: Nah, but we did get this legendary GIF out of Sherman’s season 

  • 2016: Odell Beckham Jr. has 1,400+ receiving yards and 13 TDs and is named to this second consecutive Pro Bowl.
    • CURSE: No shot
  • 2017: Rob Gronkowski played only 8 games last season as missed the first game of the year with a hamstring injury, then got on a roll, but ultimately hurt his back in Week 7 against Seattle and missed the rest of the season.
    • CURSE: Put the smackdown on Gronk

So by my scientific count, that makes 10 instances of the Madden Curse wrecking a guy’s season since Madden 2003.

But, hey this is Tom Brady we’re talking about. The 5 time Super Bowl champ who continues to get better like a goddamn fine wine. As long as he’s go his avocado ice cream and his shady health guru Alex Guerrero and his TB12 voodoo magic, I think Brady will continue to roll. You think the Madden Curse and mother nature can stop this specimen?

I think not.

PS – If something does happen to Tom this year I am going to go full Brian Mills on everyone that has ever worked at EA Sports.