Tom Brady to Grace the Cover of Madden 2018 at 40 Years Old

Alright now…how to react to this news?

A younger version of myself would freak out at the prospect of my franchise quarterback appearing on the cover of Madden because dudes used to routinely get injured after landing the cover. But TB12 put that to rest real quick with a few simple demonstrations.

Smashed mirror? No problem? Walk under a ladder? Get that shit out of my face.

Lets get scientific about it though and break it down year by year, going back an arbitrary number of years because Madden 03 was the first Madden I actually had. On the PC no less. You ever try running go routes on a 12 inch computer screen? Holy hell, but I digress. Onto the list, with some help from Digital Trends.

  • 2003: Marshall Faulk has one of his worst years ever and its the beginning of the end of his career.
    • CURSE: In full effect
  • 2004: Michael Vick fractures his fibula and misses the first 11 games of the season
    • CURSE: 100%
  • 2005: Ray Lewis has a down year, but nothing curse worthy…he did tear his hamstring the following year though.
    • CURSE: Meh
  • 2006: Donovan McNabb was plagued by a groin injury before tearing his ACL later in the year.
    • CURSE: You bet
  • 2007: Shaun Alexander broke his foot in Week 3 that season.
    • CURSE: Prevails once again
  • 2008: Vince Young was plagued by quad injuries all year before being replaced by KERRY COLLINS.
    • CURSE: Continues to cruise
  • 2009: Brett Favre played pretty well actually before injuring his shoulder down the stretch and tanking his (and the Jets) effectiveness.
    • CURSE: Yea, not even including Brett’s cell phone pic troubles
  • 2010: Larry Fitzgerald/Troy Polamalu – Fitz actually had a career year, but Polamalu injured his MCL, missed a month and then eventually injured his PCL as well.
    • CURSE: 50/50 split but still yes
  • 2011: Drew Brees stayed healthy but threw twice as many picks as the year prior and the Saints lost to the first team to ever make the playoffs with a losing record in Seattle that year.
    • CURSE: Not reallyyy
  • 2012: Peyton Hillis came out of nowhere to have a huge year to land the cover of Madden only to battle illness and hamstring issues all season. Rushed for under 600 yards, the Browns let him walk after the season and that was a wrap on Hillis’ career.
    • CURSE: Yup, you sunk my battleship
  • 2013: Calvin Johnson set the single season record for receiving yards soo he did alright.
    • CURSE: Nope, Megatron shatters it
  • 2014: Adrian Peterson battled through a foot injury all year long and the Vikings only won 10 games.
    • CURSE: Yessir
  • 2015: Richard Sherman had a great season and stayed healthy…but they did lose to the Patriots in the Super Bowl.
    • CURSE: Nah, but we did get this legendary GIF out of Sherman’s season 

  • 2016: Odell Beckham Jr. has 1,400+ receiving yards and 13 TDs and is named to this second consecutive Pro Bowl.
    • CURSE: No shot
  • 2017: Rob Gronkowski played only 8 games last season as missed the first game of the year with a hamstring injury, then got on a roll, but ultimately hurt his back in Week 7 against Seattle and missed the rest of the season.
    • CURSE: Put the smackdown on Gronk

So by my scientific count, that makes 10 instances of the Madden Curse wrecking a guy’s season since Madden 2003.

But, hey this is Tom Brady we’re talking about. The 5 time Super Bowl champ who continues to get better like a goddamn fine wine. As long as he’s go his avocado ice cream and his shady health guru Alex Guerrero and his TB12 voodoo magic, I think Brady will continue to roll. You think the Madden Curse and mother nature can stop this specimen?

I think not.

PS – If something does happen to Tom this year I am going to go full Brian Mills on everyone that has ever worked at EA Sports.

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