Tag: Boston

Are the Celtics in on a Trade for Kristaps Porzingis?

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So just about an hour ago, Adrian Wojnarowski tweeted out this bombshell about the Knicks and Kristaps Porzingis.

Confirming what every Knicks fan wakes up in a cold sweat worrying about every night; Phil Jackson might actually trade Porzingis. The only bright spot for that dumpster fire of a franchise is coincidentally the only good move the Zen Master has made since taking over the Knicks. And now Woj puts it out there that the Knicks aren’t ruling out dealing him. Man, if I’m a Knicks I’m probably just putting on my Carmelo Jersey and jumping off the fucking George Washington Bridge.

But that brings me back to the Celtics, who have been stockpiling assets for years, basically just waiting for a young stud to become available.

And after Danny traded the No. 1 overall pick the other night (whether you agree with the logic or not), everyone in the media seemed to agree that this looked like the first step in a series of moves Danny would make. There’s a sense of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Is Porzingis that other shoe? Talk about a great fit for the Celtics if its true. The C’s need size. Porzingis is 7’3″. The guy is a goddamn giraffe. They also need big men who can shoot to really thrive in Brad Steven’s system. Last year KP averaged 18.1 points per game, shot 45% from the field, and 35.7% from behind the arc. Check, check and check.

Honestly, who the fuck knows what Trader Danny is ever really thinking. Does anyone doubt Danny Ainge could pull one over on this guy though?

But, I do know one thing. I am anxiously awaiting a Woj Bomb dropping. Notifications. On.

Miles Teller Arrested for Being Drunk in Public: Happens to the Best of Us

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Yahoo – Miles Teller had a not-so-fantastic weekend that culminated in his arrest in San Diego. “Fantastic Four” star Teller was arrested and charged with being drunk in public early Sunday morning, a spokesman for the San Diego Police Department told TheWrap on Monday. According to police, an officer made contact with Teller and other males at 12:26 a.m., and noticed that the actor showed signs of being under the influence of alcohol, slurring his speech and swaying from side to side.

Man as much as it must be awesome to be a celebrity (rich, good looking, famous), it must fucking SUCK for stuff like this. Can’t even have a couple daiquiris and then hit the strip. You have a few too many of those sneaky 11% alcohol IPA’s and before you know it you’re fancy walking down the sidewalk.

And now everybody is gonna jump on the guy for being an alcoholic, when he’s just a dude who got wasted one night. While its hard to read too much into a police report because a lot of the subtle details are lost, but lines like this are telling though:

“According to police, an officer made contact with Teller and other males at 12:26 a.m.”

12:26 seems a bit early in the night to be completely fucked up drunk. So either he was disgustingly, horribly hammered or he maybe was mouthing off to a cop which is neverrr a good idea. If you’re a young, white guy — not to mention a young, rich, white guy — I feel like you’re probably going to get the benefit of the doubt. “Move it along guys.” But you start mouthing off and you deserve whatever you get.

I used to work the door at a bar in Boston and the number of 20-something, drunk dickheads walking over from State Street was always the highlight of my night. Dudes in their boat shoes screaming outside the bar about how much more money they made than us, all while coming to a bar that specializes in fucking $3 Coors Lights.  I once had a kid *demand* that I call the police since his dad knew the Chief so I could explain to them why I wouldn’t let him in. Needless to say we told that guy to go eat a bag of dicks. Pretty sure we saved the kid a billy club beating from the cops themselves.

Of all the celebrity boozehounds though, Shia LaBeouf still has the greatest drunken arrest story ever told.

Introducing the Celtics New German Big Man Daniel Theis AKA The Daniel Wall

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So the Celtics have reportedly come to terms on a deal with Daniel Theis, a 6’9″ forward/center out of Germany. Not gonna pretend to know dick about this guy, so a quick breakdown from celticsblog.com below.

“He’s been a professional since 2011 and has played with Lowen Braunschweig, Ratiopharm Ulm and Brose Baskets in the German Basketball Bundesliga. In 2015-2016 and 2016-2017 he was a German BBL All-Star Starter and was named the Defensive Player of the Year in 2016-17. He was also named the Best National Player in the BBL in 2015-2016.”

Now I’m all for the Celtics adding some size to the roster, but the scouting report seems to describe a strong rebounder, a guy who block some shots into the rafters, yet has a limited offensive game. AKA Jordan Mickey. And Mickey was a guy who showed some flashes of being a beast on the boards, but got next to no playing time because of said offensive limitations so it’ll be interesting to see how Brad Stevens works Theis into the rotation.

Again, not gonna claim to be an expert on this German import so I’m gonna lean on the guys at CelticsBlog.com here. Theis definitely seems like a project as he’s a guy that was available to anyone in 2013, but went undrafted. His only NBA experience coming in the Summer League with the Wizards in 2014. But hey, maybe he’s a diamond in the rough. Don’t hate it, shoot your shot Danny.

Either way, I’ve been a gentleman and given Theis the opportunity to pick his own nickname, but I’m leaning heavy towards The Daniel Wall since he is from Germany and all.

Cue the mixtape!

Guerin Austin Could Learn a Thing or Two from this Red Sox Sideline Reporter

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So as is tradition here at The 300s, I enjoy giving Red Sox sideline reporter Guerin Austin shit because every single time there’s a victorious Gatorade bath she gets SOAKED. Every. Single. Time. Smiles right through the pain too.

Last night though this suave new guy stepped in (prob because Guerin has pneumonia from one of those Gatorade waterboardings) and showed everyone how its done.

 

Cue the highlights!

 

If the Warriors Sweep the Cavs, Are They the Best Team Ever?

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Real talk: A year after winning 73 games, would the Golden State Warriors be the best team ever if they sweep the Cavs and go 16-0 en route to an NBA championship?

Considering no other NBA team has ever done it, then you can definitely make the case. Sure you can bitch about the level of competition in the league and how we all picked these two teams to make the Finals back in October. But, theres always dominant teams in the NBA and there always will be.

The Cavs and LeBron “I’m not the GM” James had the same opportunities the Warriors had to beat up on a weaker league overall; Golden State just benefitted from drafting the majority of their super team. The Warriors put a team together primarily through the draft that just happened to become incredible and win 73 games. AND THEN THEY GOT BETTER.

I don’t like Durant joining the team that knocked him out of the playoffs anymore than you because its a soft move, but thats a conversation for another day.

The Warriors need 2 more wins to become the first team EVER to go undefeated in the NBA playoffs. All while toppling the best player in the world (Paul Pierce disagrees) in LeBron James as the cherry on top.

Considering Steph, Durant, and Dub Nation have dominated LeBron and the Cavs over the first 2 games, its not hard to imagine GSW completing the sweep. And to bring that back to a Celtics fan perspective for a quick minute, that makes me so fucking sad. The Celtics got absolutely waxed by Cleveland, the Cavs were just on another level, and now that same Cavs team is getting dismantled by the Warriors. Trader Danny would be wise to draft Markelle Fultz and keep it moving because unless Durant opts out and signs with the Celtics this summer, we ain’t winning shit with an asset depleting trade for Jimmy Butler or Paul George.

Anyways, enjoy this while its on because this is some rarefied shit we’re watching. Just elite basketball being played by the Warriors as the Cavs try and figure out a way to stop the pain train.

Red Sox Have Up and Down Memorial Day: Price Looks Good, Pedroia Gets Hurt

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Yesterday was a shitty loss for the Red Sox that can be pinned pretty much on anyone in the bullpen not named Craig Kimbrel. But the point of this post is to talk about the return of one David Price. In his first major league start of the season Price’s line looked like this: 5 IP, 2 Hits, 3 Runs, 2 Walks, and 4 K’s

After getting smacked around in Pawtucket and getting chirped by fans *in Pawtucket* I think we all weren’t expecting such a solid start. Now did Price look dominant? No. But for a guy who hasn’t pitched in a major league game in about 8 months, not too shabby.

Remember, Price missed all of spring training so this is basically still his version of that. And of course I have no idea what to expect out of his health, I still am pretty pessimistic about a guy in his 30s who opted to skip surgery and let it heal naturally because that rarely works in the long run.

But, for a guy with a shaky elbow, Price was juicing his fastball consistently at 94 mph and even hit 97 on the gun. Not bad at all. So while the Sox shit the bed in the last few frames…

And Price did serve up an absolute batting practice ball to x for a 3 run dinger. But with it being his first start of the year, all in all I’ll take it. Hey, at least he seems like he cares, which is more than some other guys.

Now onto the bad shit.

Dustin Pedroia got tabletopped by Jose Abreu who was sliding into first to try and beat Pedey to the bag. With the 6’3″ 255 pounder basically diving into Pedroia’s path, he banged into Abreu and flipped over landing awkwardly on his wrist.

Initially it looked like Abreu took the brunt of the hit, but Pedroia was slow to get up and left the game. Dustin’s headed back to Boston to get an MRI on his wrist, which concerns the shit out of me. As a 5’8″ second baseman, Pedroia is diving all over the place every single day, but now he lands on his wrist and can’t finish the game. I. am. concerned. These little bumps and bruises like the Machado knee injury are starting to stack up for him, so hopefully its nothing, but flying back to Boston mid-series to get an MRI is obviously a red flag.

But hey guys, don’t worry, with all the injuries piling up it might force the Red Sox hand and leave them no choice but to call up the $95 million disaster, the kung fu fucking panda.

Sandoval, who by the way is healthy now, is currently playing down in Pawtucket and went 1/4 with another error last night. So thats good. Him and Rusney Castillo are probably laughing their balls off at the money they’re making to play baseball in fucking Rhode Island.

Even Price was down in Pawtucket for like a week and a half before saying get me the fuck out of here.

At least Chris Sale takes the mound tonight.

Hanley Ramirez Was HUNTING Guerin Austin After Red Sox Win

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So Brian Johnson threw a complete game shutout in his Fenway debut, the first pitcher to do that since a guy named Pedro Martinez. Anyways, BJ got the customary Gatorade bath, and per usual Guerin Austin suffered the collateral damage. At this point I feel like that’s got to be in her contract that she accepts frequent Gatorade baths and has to pretend its funny that a Sox player ruined another one of her coats.

*Yes in my excitement I accidentally called Brian Johnson Brian Anderson. Hand up, that ones on me.

Celtics Nearly Steal Game 4 to Even Series with Cavs. Enter Kyrie Irving.

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Not really a big silver lining guy, but the Celtics took the Cavaliers to the absolute brink last night. It took a freaking career game from Kyrie Irving, who literally scored a career playoff high 42 points.  On a bum ankle nonetheless. It took all that for the Cavs to hold off the C’s from tying the series, who in the first half played the best basketball they’ve played all year long.

Cleveland wanted NO part of an even series heading back to Boston, Kyrie straight up admitted it in his post-game presser.

“In the back of my mind, I thought, ‘They can’t tie up the series,’” he said. “We can’t go back to Boston tied 2-2. We needed everything tonight.”

If the Celtics hold onto their first half lead and finish the job last night the series is a toss up. LeBron had 4 fouls in the first half for the first time in his career and he looked absolutely RATTLED.

The entire Cavs team looked shook and then Kyrie started taking over. There’s no shame in it, Kyrie is one of the best players in the world and it took everything he had to hold off the outgunned Celtics.

The one thing that will always bug me though is how LeBron had to sit for the last 6 minutes of the first half due to foul trouble and then had to play the entire second half with 4 fouls and we still couldn’t steal a win.

I’m not going to complain too much about the refs because they ate shit on both ends of the court, but LeBron would have had to hit somebody with a fucking metal chair in the second half to have drawn a 5th foul. Or god forbid a 6th and foul out of an NBA playoff game. The league was having none of that. But hey its hard to beat a team that shoots 60% for the game and nearly 80% in the second half.

Also, how can you not LOVE the balls on Jonas Jerebko. The guy is getting in there and is just going bananas, talking shit, picking fights with everyone on the Cavs. Jerebko has seemingly become the Celtics’ energy guy, a spark plug, an instigator, whatever you wanna call it. There’s always a place for a guy like that on my squad.

I’d also be remiss if I didn’t mention the fact that the Celtics covered the 16 point spread. They covered a yuuuge spread for the second game in a row. Sure they still lost by 13, but winning (the spread) is winning. I would have been ready to smash my TV though with the Cavs piling on garbage time points at the end as I bit my fingernails off. But, man money won is always sweeter than money earned.

PS – How many water boys you think LeBron fired last night after the shitshow that was the Cleveland parquet. Jae Crowder legit nearly blew his knee out slipping on the court, LeBron slipped under the hoop, Kevin Love slipped getting up too. It was like the pipes were leaking or something.

Clean that shit up before Game 7, Cleveland.