Tag: Canada

Watch the Losers Episode “Stone Cold” ASAP

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Reading the title, you may be thinking that the documentary I am about to describe is about one of Stone Cold Steve Austin’s defeats at the hands of Bret “The Hitman” Hart or Triple H. Serious WWE fans may even be hoping for an entire episode devoted to Stone Cold vs. The Rock at Wrestlemania XIX, when Austin risked paralysis or even death to compete, according to his doctors.

The Rock vs. Stone Cold at Wrestlemania XIX in 2002.

When I tell you the episode is pure excitement, sparkling electricity, and dripping with more sex appeal than a Rihanna music video, I wouldn’t blame you for thinking of such a legend. However, if that’s what you are thinking right now, you are mistaken.

No, “Stone Cold” isn’t about the beer-chugging, finger-flipping king of the ring. It’s about none other than….curling. That’s right. I said it. Curling. “Stone Cold” takes us deep into the world of Canadian curling culture in the 1980’s, building to the historic 1985 battle between Pat Ryan and Al “The Iceman” Hackner. And it’s glorious.

Netflix curling documentary | The Curling News
Pat Ryan in full concentration mode.

I’m not gonna lie to you, this is nothing short of Oscar-worthy. Loaded with the magical mustaches and devastating calm only 1980’s Canada can produce, this made me want nothing more than to throw stones with my buds, beer in hand and cig dangling from my lip.

The story starts by describing the sport and it’s beer league mentality during the 1970’s and early 80’s. We learn about the rules, the terms, and the annual championship event, known as The Brier, where teams from each province are represented. For years, The Brier was dominated by The Iceman and his Ontario squad, who, after suffering their own heartbreaking defeat early on, set the standard for the sport.

Is curling a real sport? Why was it invented? Help. | Dawson Creek Mirror
Pat Ryan and the Albertans holding the Brier trophy.

Then, the drama escalates. The year is 1985. Enter the sexy MF’s from Alberta pictured above. And you know what they do? Change the game. Nonstop training. Workouts. No drinking or smoking. Laser. Fucking. Focus. These measures are unheard of at the time, but they work. Crazy Albertans, amiright? Behind the intensity of team leader Pat Ryan, they cruise to the finals to take on defending champ Al Hackner and team. Down 5-3 in the 10th and final end, the Iceman hits this incredible shot, forever to be known as “The Hackner Double”.

Now, you need to watch the documentary to really understand the significance of this shot, which is why I don’t mind spoiling it a bit. Regardless, the shot only ties the game. The match inspires Pat Ryan to once again change the game, and he develops a defensive approach in the years to come that revolutionizes the sport while also eliminating nearly all of the scoring. In typically raucous Canadian behavior, this lack of scoring leads furious fans to chant “Boring! Boring!” And they say Philly fans are bad! Anyway, Pat Ryan eventually becomes a champion, but the league institutes rules banning his new approach in the years to come.

In what is quite possibly the best ending to the story imaginable, Pat Ryan goes on to become a country singer in retirement. The whole episode is superbly Canadian. Maybe I’m late to the game here considering this series came out in March of 2019, but I never noticed it until a few days ago. It’s pure gold and everyone should know about it.

Johnny Manziel Currently Dominating in the CFL. Now How Do I Pirate (Stream) Canadian Football Games?

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Yahoo – Start with this when it comes to Johnny Manziel and his attempted return from self-induced football career disaster – the former Heisman Trophy winner has said all he wants is a chance to play, and faced with no NFL opportunities, he’s grabbing one. In Canada, no less. Manziel, 25, announced Saturday morning that he has signed a two-year contract with the Hamilton Tiger-Cats of the Canadian Football League. Conceivably, he could suit up for a preseason game against Toronto as soon as June 1.

Johnny Manziel is playing football again! And playing well at that might I add. Listen, I’ve gone back and forth on Johnny and whether I thought he’d play again, that time I thought he was a lock to join the Patriots, and then of course that time I boycotted the CFL when they blackballed Manziel. But we’re back baby!

It took me a minute to find the stats for Manizel’s first game because if I asked you right now, where do you go for CFL stats? What’s your go to source? Its not exactly on the back page of the sports section or in my ESPN push notifications.

I ultimately used my brain and just went to the Hamilton Tiger Cats website where I was swiftly and sharply reminded that this is Canada.

If I had just written that joke out you would have ridiculed my wit and said it was too predictable. Welp, thats literally the first thing I saw on this Canadian Football League website, god bless em those hosers love their Tim Hortons.

Say what you will about Johnny Football, but his game was created in a Canadian lab somewhere in the mountains of Alberta. (Does Alberta have mountains?) The wider fields, the larger endzones, the unlimited motion on offense; this is like college football on coke.  Anyways, on to the stats because as we all know stats don’t lie. And my dude Johnny Manziel is LIGHTING. IT. UP.

Can’t say I necessarily understand the vaunted three quarterback attack, but in his first CFL game Manziel had an 81% completion percentage going 9/11. Thats a pretty good start after only throwing footballs in the illustrious Spring League and at Texas A&M Pro Days. I have full confidence that Manziel will be wrecking that league in no time at all.

But the real question is; how do I pirate legally stream CFL games? I feel like thats some shit you’re going to need an old school black box from your dad’s shady buddy. So if anyone finds that stream deep down the Reddit rabbit hole tweet me @the300sboston to hook it up. Otherwise, we might have to expense a road trip on The 300s non-existent credit card to Tim Hortons Field in Hamilton, Canada in the name of content.

I think Johnny Manziel needs a new nickname though if he’s going to truly follow in the footsteps of another diminutive American QB and run shit in the CFL.

My vote goes to Johnny Maple. Bookmark this blog so when somebody with a little more venture capital steals it and makes a billion dollar t-shirt out of it, I want my royalties.

 

 

CFL Team Hires and Fires Dirtbag Ex-Baylor Coach Art Briles in Less Than 24 Hours

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SB Nation – “On Monday morning, the CFL’s Hamilton Tiger-Cats announced the hiring of former Houston and Baylor head coach Art Briles, who was fired in May 2016 amid the Bears’ program-wide sexual assault scandal, as an offensive assistant. But Briles won’t join Hamilton after all, according to the league. Its statement on Monday night: “Art Briles will no longer be joining the Hamilton Tiger-Cats as a coach. We came to this decision this evening following a lengthy discussion between the league and the Hamilton organization. We wish Mr. Briles all the best in his future endeavours.”

I gotta say, I was more than a little surprised when I saw that ex-Baylor coach Art Briles had gotten hired by a CFL team as their offensive coordinator. Granted its the CFL, but this guy wouldn’t be able to get a job managing a Denny’s, let alone another football team.

For anyone that forgets all the details of the Art Briles era at Baylor, here are the sparknotes: this guy basically emboldened scumbags up and down the Baylor roster and intimidated college women from coming forward about sexual assault at the hands of his players. Baylor had one arrest after the other, most of which were for violent crimes. There were legitimate gang rape allegations against Briles team. Sports Illustrated had the below breakdown of utter scumbag entitlement Briles promoted while at Baylor.

“The details of what happened at Baylor under Briles are sickening. At least 52 acts of rape committed by 31 different players between 2011 and ’14, including five gang rapes, according to a lawsuit filed earlier this year by a former Baylor student. Multiple instances of Briles and his staff either ignoring or covering up reports of assault and interfering with police investigations. Players not disciplined while victims were encouraged to keep quiet or leave the university. A blind eye toward accepting players with a history of violence toward women.”

So how the fuck anyone would let this guy oversee even the equipment room for a football team is beyond me.

Well, its apparently beyond the Hamilton Tiger-Cats as well who figured 15 months was enough time passed for a Briles hiring to not be controversial. They guessed wrong. The internet had a field day with this once it caught wind of the hiring. Not even 24 hours later the CFL team came out and said just kidding we’re not going to hire Art Briles.

Art Briles’ new coaching job?