Tag: Celtics

Celtics Defy All My Expectations And Land the No. 1 Overall Pick. What’s Next?

In a stunning turn of events last night, the Celtics did NOT get hosed by the ping pong balls in the NBA Draft Lottery. More than 12 hours later and I am still shocked.

I was biting a towel, I was ready for it, I was fully expecting the C’s to get porked last night. We even had that smiling bastard Magic Johnson up there threatening to steal our shine.

I just want to take a quick second to once again thank the Brooklyn Nets for what may go down as the worst/best trade in the history of sports. Hershel Walker, please sit down.

I mean the number of times the C’s have taken a beating by the ping pong balls is insane. This team has never won the draft lottery. Ever. Now obviously having 17 championships doesn’t routinely put you in pole position to win the No. 1 overall pick. But even when they’ve been up there hoping against hope, they typically get fucked. Lets just run through the past few years real quick.

  • 2014: Best odds at No. 5 overall. C’s dropped to No. 6 and took Marcus Smart
  • 2007: The Oden/Durant draft that would make or break two franchises. Best odds at No. 2 overall. C’s dropped to No. 5 somehow and draft Jeff Green. Green then got shipped out in the Ray Allen trade.
  • You can go through the whole history of the Celtic’s lottery results here, but the only time the C’s EVER improved their position was 1986, when they had the best odds at No. 5 and ended up at No. 2 where they took Len Bias. Who, ya know, died 2 days later. So, not a great example.

Now we turn our attention to the beautiful and shiny words “Number One Overall Pick.” By most accounts Markelle Fultz is the guy to take here.

Unless of course Danny wants to wet his beak in the Big Baller Brand and take Lavar (I mean Lonzo) Ball.

Everyone after that is too much of a project to reach for at No. 1. I don’t give a shit that the Celtics have 11 guards on their roster, don’t mess around, take the best player. And as previously mentioned, me and Markelle are already best friends and he’s looking forward to wearing green, so just make it official Danny.

Or the C’s could trade the pick. I don’t know about you, but now that its officially the No. 1 pick I’m a little more hesitant to deal it unless you are getting an absolute stud. I love Jimmy Butler, but 2 years of Butler for 10 years of a potential stud like Fultz? Eh. Paul George? Not for the 1 year he has left on his contract. By all accounts George wants to be a Laker, so I don’t see this happening.

I heard Toucher and Rich this morning throw out Anthony Davis, who I would trade legitimately everyone on the roster to get. I don’t know why The Brow always gets thrown out in trade rumors. I legitimately believe he is going to be the best player in the NBA sooner than later and teams don’t just give those guys away.

The move here is to draft Fultz and let Brad Stevens figure it out. Him and Isaiah would be a dynamite 1-2 scoring punch. Team them up with Horford, Crowder, Jaylen Brown, Marcus Smart and Avery Bradley (assuming no one gets traded) and thats a pretty goddamn good team. Or maybe the C’s deal one of their guards like Bradley and bring in a guy like Gordon Hayward.

Either way, I think you keep the pick and continue to build. If you can swing a max guy like Hayward then that only accelerates things. What I don’t wanna see is perennial all-star Markelle Fultz playing for someone else while we bemoan the fact we sold that guy for 2 years of some to-be-named rental.

The C’s have traded a couple of lottery picks over the years that look bad. (No, not Jeff Green because he sucks.) The fact that the C’s traded Chauncey Billups and Joe Johnson, who were drafted 4 years apart, instead of building with a core of Billups, Johnson and Pierce, is nuts. Thats a pretty solid team right there. Throw in Antoine Walker with that core? Kobe and Shaq woulda had no rings and maybe Toine wouldn’t be broke playing ball in Puerto Rico.

PS – I can’t help but dance on the graves of the fallen.

Now THAT Was a Game 7

What. A. Game.

Now that was a goddamn Game 7. That my friends is what we in the business call an emotional roller coaster. Isaiah doing Isaiah things, Marcus Smart coming back from the dead to hit a couple 3’s and play his usual ferocious defense, and of course Kelly “Maple Jordan” Olynyk.

Seriously, holy shit, the awkward Canadian 7 footer just carried the Celtics to the Eastern Conference Finals with 26 points off the bench in Game 7. The guy was all awkward euro steps and scoop shots while consistently draining the 3 ball all night.

I have to admit I have given Olynyk my fair share of shit this season so I did not see this coming. I don’t think anyone did. Danny Ainge hoped for it, if only to get a 1-day reprieve of people reminding him he drafted Oynyk over this guy:

Giannis Antetokounmpo. The Greek Freak. But I digress.

Celtics were up, they were down, leading by double digits late in the fourth, only to see the Wizards claw back on the shoulders of Bradley Beal. Seriously Beal is an absolute baller who was putting the fear of God in me down the stretch. That guy can hit from just about anywhere. No thanks to John Wall, who seemingly used up all his turbo power in Game 6 because he ate a dick down the stretch shooting 0-11 over the final 19 minutes.

I laughed.

I cried

I nearly smashed my TV.

But thats what great teams do, they fall down and then they pick themselves back up.

And not to mention WE GET THE NBA DRAFT LOTTERY TONIGHT (Thank you Brooklyn). I feel like a kid with one Jewish parent and one Catholic parent and I get to celebrate BOTH Hanukkah AND Christmas. The best of both worlds. On back to back nights. Unless the Celtics get fisted by the ping pong balls again. Hell, even Markelle Fultz wants it to happen.

See you Wednesday night, Bron Bron.

Celtics Continue the Trend and Blowout Wizards. Now One Win Away from Eastern Conference Finals


It really is insane how neither the Celtics nor the Wizards can win a game against each other unless they’re at home. For whatever reason these teams are both 9-0 against each other when at home and 0-9 when on the road this season. And its not even close.

  • Game 1 (Celtics at home)
    • Celtics 123 – Wizards 111
  • Game 2 (Celtics at home)
    • Celtics 129 -Wizards 119 (OT)
  • Game 3 (Wizards at home)
    • Celtics 89 -Wizards 116
  • Game 4 (Wizards at home)
    • Celtics 102 -Wizards 121
  • Game 5 (Celtics at home)
    • Celtics 123 -Wizards 101

The closest game there was decided by 10 points with the largest deficit being a 27 point blowout by the Wizards in Washington. This series is literally defining home court advantage. Home court/home field advantage is such an exaggerated thing in sports most of the time. Sure in baseball you get the right of last refusal in the bottom of the 9th, but most sports it typically doesn’t make a huge difference. But my god am I glad the Celtics will host a potential Game 7 in Boston. It seems destined to get there. I don’t know how teams can routinely trade blowouts, you just don’t ever see it. The Celtics ran the Wizards out of the goddamn gym last night though and I think I know why.

Can’t let down Mr. Kraft and the entire Patriots organization when they’re sitting front row.

Avery Bradley had 25 in the first half for christ sake. The guy was on a roll, hip pointers and all, legit throwing up HEAT CHECKS.

Even Brad Stevens was having a good time. He’ll deny it, but the crowd was chanting “Fuck You Oubre” booing the shit out of Oubre at the line and after he bricked one, what does Stevens do? Sends Olynyk into the game.

And most importantly the Celtics did all of this with Isaiah Thomas having a TERRIBLE game. Just kidding, the dude scored 18 points, but typically the C’s have relied on 30, 40 and 50 point games from THA LITTLE GUY to bail them out.

Now Game 6 is gonna be fun. A total mystery wrapped in an enigma. Celtics could grind one out or they could get blown out again. But come on boys, lets wrap it up and move onto the Eastern Conference Finals so we can get ready for this shit show.

PS – Lets all remember that the Celtics finished with the No. 1 seed and are on the brink of reaching the Eastern Conference Finals AND have the best odds at landing the No. 1 pick in the NBA Draft this summer.

Is Kelly Olynyk a Dirty Player? Lets Break It Down.

Had to address this whole “Kelly Olynyk is a dirty player” storyline thats been gaining steam over the last few days. Look has Olynyk been involved in some scuffles the past couple of years? Sure, but most of them are pretty innocuous. It’s not like he’s going out there socking dudes. For Draymond Green of all people to call Olynyk dirty though is just absurd.

The guy who literally goes around kicking dudes in the DICK is calling our very own Maple Jordan a dirty player.

 

Pot meet kettle. Sit the fuck down Draymond. Even Isaiah said as much when asked about it.

And then Draymond, being the dickhead that he is, clapped back on Isaiah.

Hopefully the C’s pull this Wizard series out and LeBron gets mono or something because I would LOVE to see this matchup in the Finals.

But, back to the point at hand. Is Olynyk a great player? No. Is he an awful player? No. Is he wildly frustrating at times? Yup. But do I think of him as a dirty player? Trying to be as objective as possible even as a Celtics fan, but I just don’t see it. Lets go through some of the more memorable incidents from the past couple of years.

The time Olynyk blew out Kevin Love’s shoulder in the playoffs:

I still think this is just a case of two gangly white guys getting tangled up and one of their noodle arms getting stuck. Love definitely didn’t see it that way though as he went on to rip Olynyk as a dirty player, thus starting the movement. My ruling? Not dirty. Drink more milk, Kevin.

Kelly Olynyk setting a pick on Kelly Oubre in Game 3

This play is literally a pick, probably more like one of the illegal moving screens that Kevin Garnett made famous, but a pick nonetheless. One that knocks Oubre on his ass. There’s nothing malicious or dirty here. Looks like a young guy in Oubre overreacting to a physical play before going up and tossing Olynyk, getting himself ejected. My ruling? Not dirty. Toughen up, Oubre.

I do have to give props to the Wizards owner Ted Leonsis though, definition of a ride or die boss.

 

Either way, here’s a FOUR MINUTE highlight video of Draymond Green dirty plays.

 

PS – Dirty or not dirty, this did make me laugh though.

NBA 2K esports League to Launch With 17 Teams and I Will Watch the Shit Out of It

And we’re off. It was officially announced that there will be 17 teams participating in the inaugural season of the NBA 2K esports League in 2018. Good looks by 2K on the official sponsorship, my sources are telling me they narrowly edged out the NBA Jam franchise.

To be honest, I’m surprised the NBA got this many teams to participate, but I for one am all about this. God forbid MLB tried this, it would take a decade of old guys debating how this would sully the history of the game. As a guy who plays far too many video games, breaking only to watch sports, this is a win-win.

I would watch the shit out a YouTube show documenting how the Celtics go about building their team, scouting, recruiting, training and competing.

Might have to call up Wyc and pitch that idea myself. Franchise that shit out as a vlog for every team…

We’ve all heard how big esports are becoming (hell even colleges are offering esports scholarships now), but it was mainly for games like League of Legends, which I’ve never even contemplated playing. But when you catch something a little more accessible like a Call of Duty tournament on G4, its just nuts how good the guys are. In the same way its nuts watching professional sports. The NBA knows a cash cow when they see it coming down the road, like ya know god damn La Liga patches on jerseys.

So a lot of people will say this is for nerds and nerds alone, but in the same sense its hard to appreciate just how good LeBron James is if you’ve never played competitive basketball. I am 5’8″ and didn’t make it past youth basketball so watching what that manchild can do resonates with me. I have a frame of reference as an average white guy with just how absurd LeBron is at basketball.

Here are the 17 teams that will be a part of the inaugural NBA eSports league.

  • Boston Celtics
  • Cleveland Cavaliers
  • Dallas Mavericks
  • Detroit Pistons
  • Golden State Warriors
  • Indiana Pacers
  • Memphis Grizzlies
  • Miami Heat
  • Milwaukee Bucks
  • New York Knicks
  • Orlando Magic
  • Philadelphia 76ers
  • Portland Trail Blazers
  • Sacramento Kings
  • Toronto Raptors
  • Utah Jazz
  • Washington Wizards

What I’m curious about is how the hell you can get 5 guys playing together on one NBA 2K team. Have you ever tried playing with a buddy on one team? Fucking impossible. You basically just end up playing iso ball and looking for running screens chucking up 3’s falling out of bounds because its impossible to try and run any semblance of a real play.

So yes, I will watch the shit out of this. Will I pay to watch this? Probably not, but I’ve bought dumber things. So, probably, yes.

Terry Rozier is a Bad Man

This is the first time in a long time where I legitimately said to myself, shit maybe this dude can play in the NBA!

I haven’t seen much to get me amped about him until that A+ defense, transition ball and finishing with the HELLACIOUS dunk. So hopefully the 2017 playoffs are a bit of a coming out party for Terry Rozier.

Does Rajon Rondo’s Dominance in the Playoffs Help Redeem His Image Around the NBA?

Win or lose, if nothing else I hope this Bulls series has helped redeem Rajon Rondo’s name in the eyes of Celtics fans (and around the NBA) and of course the cantankerous Boston media. This is a guy who was a key component of the Celtics first championship in 20+ years and these days the media talks about him like a total bust who sunk the franchise. I swear these people revel in ripping the guy. I mean we all know the stories of how Rondo is a dickhead, smokes little kids in Connect Four, but thats part of what endeared him to Celtics fans and thats part of what makes him a ruthless competitor.

Its also been wild to see the Celtics point guard of yesterday whom they had once planned to build around going head to head with his direct replacement in Isaiah Thomas.

So even if it was short lived, with Rondo busting his thumb, it was fun seeing the old Rondo out there dropping dimes, driving defenses nuts and generally quarterbacking a team as he dismantled the Celtics. I don’t know where that Rondo has been the last couple of years, maybe getting traded to Dallas then getting picked up off the scrap heap from Sacramento had his “Fuck This” attitude firing on all cylinders, but it was fun watching that guy again. (Reports say Rondo may play in Game 5 now)

So is Rondo a mature adult who takes setbacks and more specifically authority and discipline all that well? Nope, the guy is a big kid. Ya know, like half the league. But put him on a decent team, give him the keys to the offense and let him do his thing? Thats the guy I remember dropping triple doubles in the playoffs, the guy slapping the floor begging to guard LeBron, the guy who played with one hand after Dwyane Wade broke his fucking arm. (Still an outrageously dirty play, so yea not exactly shocking that Rondo ripped his new teammate Wade this season.)

It was good to see THIS guy back.

So Felger and Mazz can cut the shit ranting and raving about how Celtics fans pumped up Rondo as some false prophet when in reality he was a bum. Put him on the right team and this guy is a one man show. So hopefully he pops a couple Senzu Beans and we see him again in this series because the Rondo resurgence has been too short lived and I need more of it.

PS – Say what you will, that short sleeve suit was balling. Its called fashion guys, have a little class.

Celtics Can Now Achieve the Rare Feat of Claiming the No. 1 Seed AND the No. 1 Overall Pick in the NBA Draft

The Celtics have the opportunity to earn one of the more rare accolades in all of sports this week. They could lock up the No. 1 seed in the East with a win on Wednesday (thanks to another Cavs loss Monday night) to go along with the potential No. 1 overall pick in the NBA Draft.

Now the Celtics are still at the mercy of some goddamn ping pong balls, but thanks to the Nets being an abysmal basketball team, they’ve already locked up the best odds at the No. 1 overall pick of any team this year. So it would be pretty wild to see one of the best teams in the league (at least by record) with the No. 1 overall pick. That never happens. The last time I can remember anything close to that would probably be the Celtics winning the 1985-86 title and then drafting Len Bias No. 2 overall. Hopefully it works out a little better this time around.

Normally you need to hit rock bottom before you can start getting better in the NBA. Or just be the Cavaliers: get three No. 1 overall picks in 4 years and then have the best player in the world come back to town. That also works. But usually you have to absolutely bottom out so you can get a lottery pick and start building around that top talent from the draft. You don’t do yourself any good consistently being a No. 6 seed and then getting a draft pick in the 20’s. Thats how you become the Atlanta Hawks.

Sometimes you’ll see a rare case with a good team having one real down year, luck out with a top pick after a terrible season, then get back on track. Case and point the 1996-97 Spurs who had Tim Duncan fall into their lap. They went 59-23 in the 1995-96 season then fell to 20-62 the next year before taking Duncan No. 1 overall and then jumping back up to 56-26 and starting the run of success they’re STILL on.

But you never see a top team with a top draft pick while they’re CURRENTLY a top team. So for all the shit Trader Danny takes, the fact that he’s been able to maneuver the Celtics into this situation by trading two aging superstars in their late 30’s for multiple Lottery Picks is amazing by itself.

If the Celtics can turn just ONE of those Nets draft picks into a home run, then this is the Herschel Walker trade of the NBA that will be talked about forever. I cannot wait to watch that 30 for 30.

What if I told you a General Manager took an aging roster and turned them into a Lottery ticket? This is the story of how Danny Ainge swindled the suddenly cash happy and attention starved Brooklyn Nets out of a bushel of NBA Lottery picks and got the Celtics back to the promise land with the quickest rebuild in league history. Trader Danny. Directed by Bill Simmons. 

Or they’ll continue to butcher draft picks with players that aren’t good enough to make the roster so they have to stash them in Europe and the Celtics fade back into mediocrity. That is a frighteningly real possibility. But you gotta figure Danny is due to hit on a stud. Maybe that superstar is already here in Jaylen Brown, but it sure as shit won’t hurt for Danny to get 2 more cracks at it. Since the Nets ain’t getting better any time soon and we’ve got their picks both this year and next. Or maybe Danny swings the draft pick for a guy like Paul George. Either way the Celtics are gonna need another superstar to make a real run at another Larry O’Brien trophy.

We’ll see, but as loud as that clock is ticking on this window of opportunity to make something big happen, name one GM in the entire freaking league who wouldn’t sell his soul to be in Ainge’s position right now. Just don’t blow it, Danny.

Coming to a TD Garden Near You: Boston eCeltics

SI – The Boston Celtics may be the next NBA organization fielding a team for the league’s new 2K eLeague. On a Forbes SportsMoney podcast earlier this month, Celtics Managing Partner, Governor and Chief Executive Officer Wyc Grousbeck spoke with host Mike Ozanian…There will be an eCeltics.”

Can I see myself watching, nevermind paying to watch, an NBA 2K game? Probably not, but hey money talks. And the NBA is seeing some serious dollar signs. So as dumb as it may seem to some, eSports is a cash cow.

Video games like League of Legends have HUGE eSports followings with tons of people tuning in. Not to mention the kids playing for these eSports teams are bringing in legit paychecks. It’s not like these kids are getting paid in Baja Blast and Slim Jims, these guys are earning like $65k base salaries. Sign me the fuck up because I would play Madden 40 hours a week for $65k a year, I would make that sacrifice.

So the NBA is the first professional sports league to put together a legitimate effort to squeeze a little cash outta the nerds.

And it sounds like Wyc is serious as shit about it.

“We will find players, we will compensate these players. We’ll house them in Boston. They’ll be a team. They will train. There’s training for this. And then we’ll go compete against the other NBA teams in 2K…We will stream these matches.”

Wyc sounds more like he’s assembling The Avengers than a squad of guys who play entirely too much NBA2K.

Even Jonas Jerebko is getting in on the action and bought a franchise, the Detroit Renegades, so thats how ya know its a can’t miss idea.

I am still pretty pissed at Wyc for shit canning me in Year 4 of my Celtics rebuild in NBA2K16. We were building something special and you just threw it away. Sad!

I Am SHOCKED the NFL Has Yet to Accuse the Patriots of Collusion for Potential Malcolm Butler Trade

As much as I would hate to see the Patriots trade a young stud cornerback in his prime, this would be the ultimate wink-wink trade between Bill Belichick and good friend Sean Payton.

I mean, the Patriots trade their only 1st round pick to the Saints for Brandin Cooks, who was originally rumored to be demanding a much higher price tag. Then not long after that trade becomes official, the rumors start to fly about the Patriots trading Malcolm Butler to the Saints for a 1st round pick. The 32nd overall pick. The same exact pick the Patriots just traded to the Saints.

Basically, if this trade were to go through, the Pats essentially traded Malcolm Butler and a 3rd round pick to the Saints for Brandin Cooks and a 4th rounder, with the 32nd overall pick coming back to New England. With all the subtle shit the Pats try and pull to get around the rules, I cannot believe that I don’t hear people screaming from the rooftops about collusion.

Remember when the NBA just straight up nixed the Hornets’ Chris Paul trade to the Lakers just because? Legit just said, nope fuck that you’re not getting Chris Paul. Or even the more directly relevant situation, when the Celtics basically tried to trade Doc Rivers and Kevin Garnett to the Clippers for DeAndre Jordan and the NBA shut that down too. The NBA didn’t like the fact that the C’s were combining a player and a coach in a deal so they nixed the deal. The C’s later dealt Doc to the Clippers for a 1st round pick (with both KG and DeAndre being removed), but if Doc to the Clippers and KG to the clippers were two separate deals from the start no one would have said shit, but because they were combined into one deal initially the NBA didn’t like it and basically screwed the Celtics out of any shot of landing DeAndre for KG later because the league viewed it as collusion; a quid pro quo deal based around the Doc deal. Total horse shit.

Maybe thats what Belichick learned. The guy is an elephant. Separate the deals. Leave no room for opposition and then execute ruthlessly. Dude is like a Lannister really. I guess no one is bitching because Butler getting traded actually makes the Patriots worse, not better. But keep your ears open. The Patriots are “always cheating” so its only a matter of time until that narrative comes up again.