Tag: Drinks

Applebees Continues Its Quest to Kill You and Everyone You Know With $1 Jolly Rancher Vodka Drinks

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Pardon me for taking the lord’s name in vain, but Jesus Christ, Applebees. This could be the No. 1 reason twenty somethings across America black out on Christmas break. Are you trying to get diabetes? Because this is how you get diabetes.  Just guzzling sweet, delicious sour apple jolly ranchers infused with a liter of vodka. Come to think of it, this is just the properly branded version of one of my go to drinks in college: the Midouri Sour.

If you’ve never had a Midouri Sour, it’s essentially just drinking Puckers straight from the bottle. It tastes like a sweet, sweet mixer, but it’s riddled with vodka so it gets the job done. Pound down a few of these bad boys and you could dance the night away. Might even have to take your shoes off on the walk home.

So for anyone who wants to black out like an adult(ish) yet have nostalgia endorphins firing in their brain with the taste of Jolly Ranchers on your palate, then this is the cocktail for you. Excellent work, Applebees.

The 300s Reviews: Pepsi Fire

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I don’t do these reviews because I’m a masochist, I do it because I’m a man of the people. I do it for you. I’m a big fan of obscure drinks like Surge and Crystal Pepsi. Gotta pick out the diamonds in the rough. The best pumpkin spice latte you’ll ever have will be from 7-11. But for every success theres 10 disasters. I’m here to steer the ship so you know what’s garbage and what is so good that you have to at least try it, bodily harm be damned. With that, I introduce, Pepsi Fire.

Cracking the bottle open and its immediately apparent this is not some half-assed Pepsi marketing ploy; this is something different. The smell reminds me of when you run out of ginger ale and you have to mix Jameson with coke. Not a great start.

Poured it over ice and as its bubbling up I notice an unsettling reddish hue. The things I ingest for this blog.

First sip: It tastes EXACTLY like Fireball, which would have been great for Pepsi five years ago. May have even been a hit for Pepsi had Fireball never been invented. But now the cinnamon carbonation immediately brings back memories of ripping shots at the bar at 1 am. Not exactly what I want to pair with…anything really. Take a sip of this hungover and you might as well just call into work sick ahead of time.

Hey another fun fact, this concoction is WAY worse for you than any normal soda, let alone a diet Pepsi. After I poured it out I took a quick glimpse at the nutrition label before I threw it out and I gasped. Literally gasped. Pepsi Fire has 260 calories and 69 grams of sugar of nutrition in it. Jesus christ. Now I guess thats standard for a Pepsi 20 oz bottle, which I didn’t realize because I’m a devout supporter of asparatime in my diet sodas.

My point is, if you have more than 1 of these a month you are going to be in the dentist chair repairing some serious damage. Which I’d be fine with for a respectable drink, but I cannot knowingly destroy my teeth for Fireball soda. Final verdict: I cannot recommend trying this in good conscience. Pass.