What a move! The Patriots just signed Griff Whalen, who if you don’t remember, was one of the architects of the worst trick play in the history of the NFL. This genius:
Probably the hardest I’ve ever laughed at a failed play. I remember seeing them line up and thinking, well I must be missing something because this is some bullshit you couldn’t even get away with in Madden. But nope, just as dumb as it looked. Snapped the ball and somehow Griff wasn’t able to block two guys by himself for a loss.
So yes, the Patriots signed this guy to help fill in at WR since the team is falling apart at the seams and is now down Gronk and Amendola. Even the go-to emergency Go Route specialist Matthew Slater is out with an injury so the Pats needed to fill the depth chart with some security.
New England also bypassed former Patriots Kembrell Thompkins and Aaron Dobson (Drop-son) to sign Griff, so goes to show how highly Belichick thinks of his former draft picks.
We now turn to the man of 47 career receptions in our time of need.
Yesterday the NFL went out of its way to promote the fact that it was allowing and encouraging all of its players to wear custom cleats, which is the absolute height of hypocrisy for a league that has spent YEARS fining players tens of thousands of dollars for doing just that.
How does the NFL figure to sidestep the ridiculousness that are these fines? Make it about charity of course. Use it as a way to raise awareness for the various charities that NFL players work with. Which is of course a great cause, that I totally support, but once again the NFL could do so much more.
You really want to make an impact on these charities rather than just grab some good PR? Take all that money you’ve stuffed into your coffers over the years fining guys like Odell Beckham for wearing fire custom cleats. All the money collected for guys wearing different color socks. What about the money that Dangelo Williams was getting fined for having pink in his hair to raise awareness for breast cancer?
The NFL always has been and always will be a PR machine, nothing more, nothing less. Stay woke my friends.
Now without further ado, the best of the best from #CleatsForACause
Well thats a pretty shitty way to kick off Thirsty Thursday. Seriously, what a goddamn disaster. All the reports coming out now are saying Gronk will be out for 8 weeks due to a herniated disc in his back that he needs to get surgery on. That puts us right through to the Super Bowl. So in theory, Gronk could be back for the Super Bowl if the Patriots get a top 2 seed, earn a first round bye and win the AFC, all without their best weapon.
All of this if Gronk’s recovery goes as scheduled. Which it never fucking does. Name one Gronk injury that wasn’t filled with drama and setbacks. The torn up knee, the broken arm, doesn’t matter. We’ll get some joint press release from the Patriots and Gronk in like 7 weeks saying how he’s actually out another 6 months. Jesus Christ, it’s like they have the old Red Sox team doctors on staff that completely sandbagged Jacoby Ellsbury with horribly inaccurate target dates to get back on the field. No one ever knows with Gronk and thats what worries me the most.
Oh that and of course he’s getting ANOTHER back surgery, after he already had one in college, which is why he missed his last season at Arizone and which is why he dropped into the second round for the Pats to snatch up. Two back surgeries, a knee surgery, arm surgeries and countless other injuries before you even hit 30? I don’t want to be all doom and gloom, but that is a recipe for disaster and its a goddamn shame because if healthy Gronk has the potential to be the greatest Tight End of *all-time*
Hopefully some additional reports come out in the coming weeks with better news, but right now it looks like we’re back to the days of trying to win Super Bowls without your best player not named Tom Brady. Hey, at least Belichick was smart enough this year to have a mythical creature on the roster as a contingency plan in Martellus Bennett AKA “The Black Unicorn.”
St. Louis Post Dispatch – For the season, Rams games have been seen in an average of 9.4 percent of homes in the LA market…In contrast, the worst rating the Rams ever drew during their St. Louis days was 10.9, and that came in 2013 when the Cardinals were playing a World Series game at the same time. The Rams, who have lost six of their last seven games, haven’t drawn a rating above 10.6 in LA this year since Week 2.
People in LA aren’t interested in the terrible Rams team that just moved to town? Color me shocked. The fans lack empathy and don’t tune in to the games? No shit. You don’t say. Let me spend 4 hours every Sunday watching the Rams get their doors blown off. Or because its, ya know, Los Angels and 80 degrees outside, maybe I’ll go to the beach or play volleyball in overly short shorts. I also *love* how the source of the story pointing out the terrible ratings is of all places, the St. Louis Dispatch. Yo, throw that shade. If you’ve got hate in your heart St. Louis, let it out.
It’s like that tourism for California commercial where all the celebrities are downplaying all the stereotypes of LA, while doing those exact things. Yea thats exactly how I picture LA Rams fans. “People think we’re just a bunch of dreamers, with our heads in the clouds,” says the asshole riding the 15 foot tall bicycle. So yea, thats LA for you.
Or how about this one? “People think we’re all celebrities, or surfers. That we’re all into yoga. Or that everyone owns a winery.” Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. All assholes. Godspeed Rams, its gonna be a bumpy one.
Betty White does save that commercial from being totally insufferable so.
Los Angeles doesn’t put up with 7-9 bullshit, as Jeff Fisher would say. The only way to get attention in that town is to basically be the Showtime Lakers or the 2003-2005 USC Trojans. Some glitz, some glamour and of course MASSIVE amounts of winning. When you’re a boring team that is also terrible, not a great combo. Todd Gurley’s entertaining commercials aside, him slamming into the back of his O Linemen 30 times a game for no gain does not put asses in the seats.
You know who does put up with terrible football year after year and embraces the 7-9 bullshit?
ESPN -“Just one week after the NFL returned to Mexico City for the first time in over a decade, there are already reports suggesting a new contest for the 2017 season. The New England Patriots would face the Oakland Raiders at the Estadio Azteca at some point during the next year, according to ESPN’s John Sutcliffe…Pats owner Robert Kraft is very interested in the possibility of playing in Mexico City.”
So now the hot rumor in the streets is that the NFL is thinking of having the Raiders play the Patriots in Mexico City next year. And as much as I love forfeiting home games, as Robert Kraft is rumored to have pitched, I can’t say I’m too excited for this. Traveling across the country, playing in a stadium with BARBED WIRE FENCES IN THE STANDS all while being 5,000 miles HIGHER than Mile High Field. Mexico City does not seem like a great place. I fully expect and fear a Man on Fire situation where Giselle gets kidnapped by the banditos and Kraft has to hire Denzel Washington or some shit.
Either way, I don’t care if its Mexico, London, Russia or the Moon. Do. Your. Job. And the Patriots will do just that and win….Unless its a late season game in Miami. That I fear.
So in watching Monday Night Football this season something keeps jumping out at me every single week and that is Charles Woodson and his consistently glorious ascot. The man does not rest. New week? New ascot. Last night a golden yellow, or as all the Packers (Michigan?) fans on Twitter chirped at me last night; “Maize.” The man does not disappoint and even he himself got on board with #AscotWatch last night as a phenomenon was born. I already can’t wait for next Monday night. Some of the best responses below.
To quote my man Kevin Garnett, that was a pure Grit and Balls win from the Patriots tonight.
It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t pretty. But it got the job done. Sure did the defense look like dog shit? Did Tom Brady look a little gimpy? Did the Pats struggle to really get anything going until the second half yet again? Sure. But a win is a win and that last minute strip sack from Chris Long got the juices going. Good night Jets.
CSNNE – “They’ve got several rules to protect him in various situations so you’ve got to be careful with how you sack him.”
Here we go again, Richard Sherman firing up the hype machine and making pre-emptive excuses. Look the only reason you say stuff like this is so you have something to point to when you lose. Two years ago when he was really balling out, Sherman would have just said TB12 sucks or is too old to get it done. Not now, he sees the way Brady is playing and wants to hedge his bets before Sunday Night.
Now I actually like Richard Sherman, but he’s definitely overrated. That pick he had last week against Buffalo was practically a fair catch so don’t give me that.
Is he trying to get the refs attention ahead of the game to not coddle Brady? Probably. But hey this is the NFL, it’s absolutely a QB’s league. With that being said Brady has been taking some massive shots in recent weeks, too many for my liking, so Sherman can pipe down with that.
Tom Brady loves going after defensive players talking shit during the week to try and burn them and I think that’s what Rich is setting himself up for here. People don’t forget.
TB12 is back and I have to admit, I am extremely disappointed in the local media. Aside from two tweets of random guys with a couple pics of Brady playing catch around town, there’s been ZERO news or info on him. And the sunbathing pics don’t count because that was over in Italy, I’m talking strictly local media guys. Brady is legit Boston royalty, well really more like a Mob Boss. Because no one reported anything on what he was up to like they feared getting kneecapped as retribution. All my Brady news came from Wes Welker and TMZ. No one even asked him about the pics and I don’t think anyone even thought about bothering Tom on his 4 week vacation. You don’t disturb the boss when he’s busy. More important than any one man’s life… is order. Some straight Keyser Soze shit.
SB Nation – It’s official: Tim Tebow is a professional baseball player, and he didn’t even have to sign with an independent league team to get there. The Mets made him a member of their organization by announcing a deal on Thursday morning, and Tebow’s next step will be to head to Instructional League in — where else — Florida.
Now I love Tim Tebow, but this guy has got to be suicidal. Signing with a New York team. Again. I know he probably wasn’t fielding a dozen offers, but you would think if you really want to make this work you may want to limit distractions or you know, horribly negative fans chirping you all day. Especially after already playing in NY once for the Jets. And that was an unmitigated disaster.
Maybe he’s a glutton for punishment, or maybe he really does just enjoy the limelight and wanted to be as close to the action as possible. Well, that should wear off after the 5th 9 hour long bus ride. Just watch that Michael Jordan 30 for 30 and you’ll be over it real quick. Best athlete of our generation and he barely hit over the Mendoza line.
Or you could ya know play fullback or something and be playing in the NFL every single week. Won’t switch positions, but I will switch sports. Hey, at least I can add to my collection of Tebow jerseys that I buy at Marshalls for $8 in a few months. Still got the Tebow Patriots shirt in rotation. Collector’s item.
The 300s 