Tag: Good Will Hunting

Woman Gets a Year in Jail for Lying on Her Resume to Land $185,000 Job

CNN – A woman who lied on her resume and faked “glowing” references to land a high-paying job with an Australian regional government has been sentenced to at least a year in prison.

Veronica Hilda Theriault, 46, was convicted Tuesday of deception, dishonesty, and abuse of public office, relating to her 2017 application for the chief information officer role, which came with an annual salary of 270,000 Australian dollars (US$185,000).

Theriault worked in the position with South Australia’s Department of the Premier and Cabinet for over a month and earned about 33,000 Australian dollars ($22,500) before being fired. She pleaded guilty to all charges and received a 25-month sentence with a non-parole period of a year.

The court heard that she submitted a fraudulent resume to the department with false information relating to her education and prior employment. After she was granted an interview, she also posed as a previous employer during a reference check, in which she “gave glowing feedback” about her own performance.

This is BULLSHIT. As someone who somehow stumbled into the position of hiring and firing actual adults, even I have to admit this is 100% on the company, not the woman. I don’t care if it was for a role as the Chief of Medicine at a hospital; it’s quite literally the company’s job to vett the candidate’s experience. If they sneak one past you to land a cushy six figure job, thats on you. Did they even bother sitting down with this woman to ya know, maybe ask her a few questions about the role?

I imagine her interview went something along the lines of Chuckie sitting in for Will Hunting.

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You wanna know why this is bullshit though? Because of things like this:

But the lies didn’t end there. In earlier submissions, the court heard that Theriault used a photo of supermodel Kate Upton as her LinkedIn profile photo, according to CNN affiliate 7 News.

And after starting the position in August, she was found to have hired her brother, despite him lacking the qualifications to perform the role.

So the hiring manager didn’t even bother to look at the LinkedIn profile of someone he was hiring? Well thats a bright, glowing, red flag right there. And then after hiring the woman they let her then hire her BROTHER without any qualifications?

If you think a little jail time is gonna scare some hustlers out of trying this again, you better think again. Pocketing $22k in a month like this woman did is more than worth the risk of going to the pokey for a lot of people.

Nice work, Australia.

 

What in the Sweet Hell is This David Ortiz Video?

It’s confusing, beautiful, and haunting, and it should probably win an award of some type. David Ortiz just nailing every big scene from all the biggest Boston based movies like The Town, The Departed, Good Will Hunting…and Fever Pitch.

Ya know, if David Ortiz legitimately remade Fever Pitch and played both roles I think that movie would be better than the Drew Barrymore Jimmy Fallon debacle that we got.

Big Papi, so hot right now, Big Papi.

Once Dominant Red Sox Reliever Daniel Bard is On the Comeback Tour

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Yahoo! Sports – For a time, Daniel Bard was one of baseball’s most effective and feared relievers. Now the 31-year-old right-hander is scratching and clawing for one more opportunity in the big leagues, which he hopes will come this season with the St. Louis Cardinals.

I admit I had completely forgotten about Daniel Bard. The once heir apparent to the best closer in Red Sox history, Jonathan Papelbon. Guy was absolutely lights out as a setup man and then the Red Sox fucked everything up. Seriously, don’t mess with success.

Remember when the Yankees had the same EXACT situation on their hands with Joba Chamberlain? Guy was an absolutely dominant reliever who was in line to take over as closer for Mariano Rivera. Nope, Yankees tried to move him into the starting rotation and the guy folded. Admittedly he had some sparks of dominance as a starter. I was at a game at Fenway he started and the guy went 7-8 innings and struck out 10. But for whatever reason, his build, his control, his endurance the guy unraveled and was ruined as a pitcher. They had a specific set of rules called the Joba Rules to keep this guy in tact for christ’s sake. Probably not the ideal guy to be messing with his whole workload and mindset. But I digress…

This is the latest team in a long list of teams kicking the tires on Bard. Theo was the first to try and resurrect Bard’s career unsurprisingly, picking him off the scrap heap in 2013 after the Sox placed him on waivers. He signed with the Rangers next season before actually re-signing with the Cubs organization in 2015, signed with the Pirates organization in January 2016 and didn’t even make it to April before getting released. Bard ultimately signed with the Cardinals last year and that’s where the comeback tour rolls on.

Reports say Bard seems to have his control back and is still throwing 96 mph. And this isn’t from some scrub St. Louis reporter, by “reports” I mean that this is coming from Peter Gammons, the human Britannica of baseball himself. So that’s gotta count for something.

With guys like Bard who were absolutely filthy for a short stint and then flamed out just as fast, it always reminds me of the Stellan Skarsgard quote from Good Will Hunting.

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Best of luck, Dan.

Amazon is Now Taking On the Bane of My Existence: Grocery Stores

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Forbes – On Monday, in the midst of what will likely be its largest holiday season in history, Amazon.com AMZN +2.43% unveiled a video for Amazon Go, a supposedly new store that will allow customers to walk in, pick up items and leave without having to pay in a traditional check-out line.

Amazon, did we just become best friends? Yup. With apps for ordering food from my couch, calling a taxi from the barstool and streaming full on movies from my phone, Amazon was falling behind a bit. That is until they decided to take on the goddamn bane of my existence: the grocery store. The grocery store is where men go to die.

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Sure, free 2 days shipping is cool, I guess. But uhh, thats not really gonna get the juices flowing. A grocery store free of useless employees and horrifically long lines just so I can CHECK MYSELF OUT? Sign me the fuck up.

Legit nothing worse than the Sophie’s Choice of do I A.) Wait in line for 10 minutes so the teenager can ring me up and slowly pack up half my stuff or B.) Go do the grocery store employees’ job for them in self checkout? I almost always choose option A because as Will Hunting once said, because fuck him thats why.

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I’m gonna get my money’s worth. Any discussions of the misery that is a grocery store has to include the Bill Burr bit that is A+ material. “Here I was, I thought I was a comedian. Apparently I also work at a grocery store.”

Come on Amazon don’t screw this up. I need this. You need this. But more importantly the world needs this.