Amazon is Now Taking On the Bane of My Existence: Grocery Stores


Forbes – On Monday, in the midst of what will likely be its largest holiday season in history, AMZN +2.43% unveiled a video for Amazon Go, a supposedly new store that will allow customers to walk in, pick up items and leave without having to pay in a traditional check-out line.

Amazon, did we just become best friends? Yup. With apps for ordering food from my couch, calling a taxi from the barstool and streaming full on movies from my phone, Amazon was falling behind a bit. That is until they decided to take on the goddamn bane of my existence: the grocery store. The grocery store is where men go to die.


Sure, free 2 days shipping is cool, I guess. But uhh, thats not really gonna get the juices flowing. A grocery store free of useless employees and horrifically long lines just so I can CHECK MYSELF OUT? Sign me the fuck up.

Legit nothing worse than the Sophie’s Choice of do I A.) Wait in line for 10 minutes so the teenager can ring me up and slowly pack up half my stuff or B.) Go do the grocery store employees’ job for them in self checkout? I almost always choose option A because as Will Hunting once said, because fuck him thats why.


I’m gonna get my money’s worth. Any discussions of the misery that is a grocery store has to include the Bill Burr bit that is A+ material. “Here I was, I thought I was a comedian. Apparently I also work at a grocery store.”

Come on Amazon don’t screw this up. I need this. You need this. But more importantly the world needs this.

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