Tag: Jets

Picking Up the Pieces: How’d I Do Gambling NFL Week 2?

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Season record: (8-7)
Last week: N/A

Somehow we missed the Bills-Panthers in Week 2’s column, so by technicality we get outta here above .500. We’ll try to do better in Week 3. But hey if you’re coming here for gambling advice you have a much larger problem. Enjoy your meager winnings!

NFL Week 2

Texans (0-1) at Bengals (0-1), Thursday
Opening line: Bengals, -3 points

Bengals threw up an absolute stinker, losing 13-9, as people are legitimately starting to question if the Red Rifle is cooked meanwhile Tyler Eifert remains about as healthy as the goddamn bubble boy.
Our pick: Bengals to cover – L (0-1)

Jets (0-1) at Raiders (1-0)
Opening line: Raiders, -14 points

Did not expect the Jets to win, but did not expect the Raiders to cover a 14 pt spread. Cover they did, winning by 25 points.
Our pick: Jets to cover – L (0-2)

Browns (0-1) at Ravens (1-0)
Opening line: Ravens, -7.5 points

Ravens more than covered the -7.5 spread, winning by 14 pts. We got a W in the book!
Our pick: Ravens to cover – W (1-2)

 

Cardinals (0-1) at Colts (0-1)
Opening line: Cardinals, -7.5 points

Cardinals continue to be the definition of mediocre, eeking out a 3 point win over the Colts who were coming off a blowout to the lowly rams. Needless to say they did not cover.
Our pick: Cardinals to cover – L (1-3)

Patriots (0-1) at Saints (0-0)
Opening line: Patriots, -4.5 points

As predicted, the Patriots blew doors, smoking the Saints 36-20, easily covering the initial -4.5 spread.
Our pick: Patriots to cover – W (2-3)

Vikings (1-0) at Steelers (1-0)
Opening line: Steelers, -7 points

After looking like the goddamn MVP of the league, Sam Bradford came back down to earth on his graham cracker knees and the Vikings got smoked by the Steelers 26-9. Thats a no show.
Our pick: Vikings to cover – L (2-4)

Dolphins (0-0) at Chargers (0-1)
Opening line: Chargers, -4 points

Rather than winning by at least 4, the Chargers actually lost by 2 to Smokin Jay Cutler in his first game post retirement. FML.
Our pick: Charges to cover – L (2-5)

Titans (0-1) at Jaguars (1-0)
Opening line: Titans, -1 point

Titans easily covered the -1 pt spread, smoking the Jags 37-16. Blake Bortles continues to drift further and further away from being a respectable NFL quarterback, which is weird because just a couple of seasons ago he was one of the top fantasy QBs in the game.
Our pick: Titans to cover – W (3-5)

Eagles (1-0) at Chiefs (1-0)
Opening line: Chiefs, -4 points

As predicted the Chiefs continued their winning ways, beating the Eagles by a TD, covering the -4 point spread.
Our pick: Chiefs to cover – W (4-5)

 

Bears (0-1) at Buccaneers (0-0)
Opening line: Buccaneers, -6 points

The Bucs kicked the shit out of the Bears 29-7, much to the chagrin of every other Jordan Howard fantasy owner in the world, easily covering the -6 point spread.
Our pick: Bucs to cover – W (5-5)

 

Redskins (0-1) at Rams (1-0)
Opening line: Rams, -2.5 points

As bad as the R-words have looked, its still the Rams and I would hammer a -2.5 point spread every day of the week as Washington won by a TD.
Our pick: R-words to cover – W (6-5)

 

Cowboys (1-0) at Broncos (1-0)
Opening line: Cowboys, -2.5 points

Cowboys were a -2.5 point favorite, which I felt good about, but the Broncos smoked the Boys 42-17, with Hall of Famer LaDanian Tomlinson calling out Zeke for quitting on his team. Great. Swing and a miss.
Our pick: Cowboys to cover – L (6-6)

49ers (0-1) at Seahawks (0-1)
Opening line: Seahawks, -12.5 points

Seahawks were a -12.5 point favorite, which I felt was way too big for a struggling Seattle offense, which turned out to be dead on as the Hawks had to use a late game drive just to barely win. Seattle snuck out of town with a 12-9 win and we all won some money.
Our pick: Niners to cover – W (7-6)

 

Packers (1-0) at Falcons (1-0)
Opening line: Falcons, -2.5 points

I was very confident in Green Bay winning outright despite Atlanta being a -2.5 favorite, buttt nope the Falcons looked like the Falcons of 2016 in their new stadium winning 34-23. Nuts.
Our pick: Packers to cover – L (7-7)

Lions (1-0) at Giants (0-1), Monday
Opening line: Giants, -5 points

This was a tossup as technically Odell Beckham played, but he clearly didn’t look like himself and only had 4 catches for 36 yards. Since ODB himself said this was a 6-8 week injury, I’m not picking the Giants in a close game until I see him back to his old ways. I’m giving myself this one.
Our pick: Lions to cover – W (8-7)

Week 2 Predictions Grade: C+ – Average, not my best effort, room for improvement. You made a little money if you bet every game, but you’re not gonna be buying rounds at the bar or anything.

Lets Gamble! NFL Week 2

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All our betting lines are courtesy of CBS Sports so blame them if the numbers change. Anyways its time to start playing fast and loose with our paychecks now that the NFL season is here. Introducing our new weekly NFL gambling column, LETS GO!

Texans (0-1) at Bengals (0-1), Thursday
Opening line: Bengals, -3 points

I expect a bounce back game from the Bengals, especially with so many Texans players getting hurt on Sunday and of course Brian Cushing will miss the game as he got popped for PEDs again. Not to mention the Texans have a rookie making his first career start on a short week. Take the Bengals and take the points.

Jets (0-1) at Raiders (1-0)
Opening line: Raiders, -14 points

14 points is a TON of points to cover and I just don’t feel confident laying my hard earned cash on the line betting the Raiders win by more than TDs. Look for the Raiders to get ahead and then hand off to Marshawn Lynch all game. Take the Jets to cover.

Browns (0-1) at Ravens (1-0)
Opening line: Ravens, -7.5 points

The Browns actually looked surprisingly competent last week, nearly upsetting the Steelers. Did the Ravens look good last week or did the Bengals really play that bad? Hard to say, especially with the Ravens losing Danny Woodhead last week. I would bet against the Browns putting up solid games in back to back weeks until I see it happen so I’m going with the Ravens to cover here.

Cardinals (0-1) at Colts (0-1)
Opening line: Cardinals, -7.5 points

Holy shit the Colts are even worse than we though and may even be starting former Pats 3rd string QB Jacoby Brissett in this one. The Colts are a full blown disaster without Andrew Luck. Take the Cardinals and enjoy your winnings.

Patriots (0-1) at Saints (0-0)
Opening line: Patriots, -4.5 points

-4.5 points? I would HAMMER the Patriots in this game, there’s no way the Pats don’t win by at least a touchdown coming off that shit show in Week 1 against the Chiefs. Bet the house on it.

Vikings (1-0) at Steelers (1-0)
Opening line: Steelers, -7 points

This is probably the toughest game of the week. Minnesota looked excellent on Monday night and so did Sam Bradford. I think the Vikings keep it close and cover.

Dolphins (0-0) at Chargers (0-1)
Opening line: Chargers, -4 points

Chargers are coming off a 3-point loss to a top defense in Denver while the Dolphins are opening the season with their new QB Jay Cutler. I think Cutler is better than people give him credit for, but its his first game on a new team, lets go with the Chargers to cover.

Titans (0-1) at Jaguars (1-0)
Opening line: Titans, -1 point

I think the Titans and Marcus Mariota in particular bounce back this week, plus with a -1 point spread I’m taking the Titans. The Jags want to play a ball control offense and run it with Leonard Fournette, but I got the Duck this week.

Eagles (1-0) at Chiefs (1-0)
Opening line: Chiefs, -4 points

Nelson Agholor and Carson Wentz both looked to finally be on the same page and had a big week together last week, but after watching the Chiefs stomp the Patriots I’m taking Kansas City here. Alex Smith is not gonna throw for 300+ yards and 4 TDs again, but Kareem Hunt is the real deal. KC covers.

Bears (0-1) at Buccaneers (0-0)
Opening line: Buccaneers, -6 points

The Bears nearly topped the defending Super Bowl loser in the Atlanta Falcons, boosted by rookie Tarik Cohen’s explosive game. -6 points is a lot, but I like the Bucs behind Jameis Winston, Mike Evans and new toy Desean Jackson. Lets go with the Bucs to cover.

Redskins (0-1) at Rams (1-0)
Opening line: Rams, -2.5 points

The Rams looked like a competent offense in Sean McVay’s debut, but they also were playing the god awful Colts in Week 1. The R-words bumbled their way to a loss against the Eagles so I anticipate a bounce back game from them and a big game from Terrell Pryor. R-words cover.

Cowboys (1-0) at Broncos (0-0)
Opening line: Cowboys, -2.5 points

Another tough game to pick, but as long as Zeke keeps dodging that suspension I’m riding the Boys. The Broncos had to eke one out against San Diego last week, so I think the Cowboys cover here.

49ers (0-1) at Seahawks (0-1)
Opening line: Seahawks, -12.5 points

This is gonna be a long season for the 49ers as they embark on a long rebuild. The Seahawks did not look great last week as the offensive line is still a disaster and the musical chairs at RB continue. I think Seattle gets on track this week but 13 points is a big spread, so I’m taking San Fran to cover.

Packers (1-0) at Falcons (1-0)
Opening line: Falcons, -2.5 points

I’m taking the Packers all day on this. Green Bay’s offense looked great in the second half against Seattle last week and the Falcons look primed for a Super Bowl hangover.

Lions (1-0) at Giants (0-1), Monday
Opening line: Giants, -5 points

This all depends on ODB availability. If he’s in the game I’m taking the Giants to cover, but if he’s not I’m taking the Lions to win outright. The G-Men looked hapless without their blonde burner so keep close tabs on that.

The Best of the NFL from Week 1

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After 7 long months, the NFL is BACK. Don’t worry, I watched all the games so you don’t have to. Sure, we had the Pats game on Thursday, but Sunday marked the first day where you could watch professional football for 10+ hours straight. So that is exactly what I did. A lot of bad games yesterday, but NFL Sunday is like pizza or sex. Even when its bad its good.

The fucking Jets man, they just cannot get out of their own way.

Nelson Agholor with an absolute web gem for the Eagles as they shut down the R-Words.

I would say Tony Romo is probably not a fan of the players sitting for the anthem.

It don’t matter if they’re 16-0 or 0-16, Bills Mafia always shows up to play.

After getting his first career INT called back on a penalty, Deshaun Watson gets his first career TD, looking noticeably more effective than Tom Savage unsurprisingly. Welcome to the league rook.

KAAA MEEE HAAAA MEEE HAAAAA

Just a week after being traded to Indianapolis, and just 3 quarters into Scott Tolzien’s season, the Colts turned to former Patriot, Jacoby Brissett.

Much to the chagrin of my Draftkings lineup, the Rams smoked the Colts and on the way Jared Goff resembled a real NFL quarterback.

Russell Wilson played like horseshit for most of this game against the Packers, but he is still fun to watch, making plays like this.

And your nominee for best catch of the week came on Sunday Night Football. Cole Beasley just putting on a show.

Jets Are Now 1,000-1 Odds to Win the Super Bowl; the Worst Odds Ever

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1,000-1. Those are the Jets odds of winning the Super Bowl. The same odds as the Warriors NOT making the playoffs. Insane. Just for comparisons sake, the Patriots odds to win the Super Bowl are currently 11/4. Just slightly better.

I guess if you’re a Jets fan, the one saving grace is that this year they are intentionally bad. Sure if they had really tried they still wouldn’t have been great, but by getting rid of Brandon Marshall, Eric Decker, Sheldon Richardson and other players they have basically punted on the season. And as painful as this season will be for those dummies in green, its a smart play long term. Especially with a pretty solid looking crop of top QB prospects this year. UCLA’s Josh Rosen looked like a goddamn stud this weekend.

But it is the Jets, so odds are they luck into like 3-4 wins and lose out on a franchise QB. It really is amazing to have witnessed three peaks and valleys in the Jets franchise all while the Patriots have remained consistently dominant the entire time. Think about it. We’ve witnessed the rise (and fall) of Eric Mangini, the Rex Ryan era featuring the roughly 3 year reign of Bart Scott and the mouthy assholes, and most recently the moderately successful 1-year reign of Todd Bowles and Ryan Fitzpatrick before falling back to earth and saying screw it lets be REALLY bad.

All sandwiched between a mere 5 Patriots Super Bowl victories. What a goddamn shadow over the New York Jets of New Jersey.

The New York Jets Have Truly Embarrassed Themselves With This New T-Shirt

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The Jets have done a lot of embarrassing things over the years, but this new t-shirt may take the cake.

No Off Days? Why..does..that..sound..so..familiar?

Oh thats right, its because Bill Belichick made it the biggest Patriots rallying cry since Do Your Job and The Patriot Way. But here come the Jets like some shitty t-shirt vendor just switching a couple words around and passing it off as their own. Embarrassing. Not even worth the ink it would cost to print the cease and desist letter.

NO. OFF. DAYS.

Edelman Out, but the Work Goes on for the Patriots

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As was suspected Friday night when Julian Edelman left the Patriots’ third preseason game with an injury, Edelman tore his ACL and will miss the entire 2017 season.

A lot of fans on social media were quick to decry the NFL preseason but the truth is that this injury could have happened at any time. Tom Brady didn’t play at all in the 2008 preseason and suffered a season-ending injury in Week 1 of the regular season. Wes Welker tore his left ACL and MCL in Week 17 in 2009. Rob Gronkowski has suffered a wide range of injuries during his seven year career, including a broken arm while playing on field goal protection (!) against the Colts in Week 11 in 2012.

Time and again, the Patriots have shown the ability to adapt and not only survive, but excel. The Patriots won the Super Bowl last season despite not having Gronkowski for the last five games of the regular season or the playoffs. They won the Super Bowl in 2003 after cutting Lawyer Milloy four days before the start of the regular season. And they won 11 games in 2008 without Brady, becoming the first 11-win team to miss the playoffs in more than two decades.

This season will be no different. It’s always disappointing to see a star player go down, but Bill Belichick never lets emotions affect his team’s play. The Patriots still have a very talented wide receiver corps that includes Brandin Cooks, Chris Hogan and Danny Amendola. Future hall of famer Rob Gronkowski is apparently healthy and ready to go, and the Patriots should still be able to cobble together a pretty good running game (to the chagrin of fantasy football players). With the AFC East still consisting of the Jets, Bills and Dolphins, it’s hard to bet against this team making it back to at least the AFC Championship game in January.

If you’re still down about Edelman, though, rest assured. He will be back, and it will be a hell of story in the updated afterword to his memoir in a few years.

Belichick Refuses to Mention the Jets by Name. Shoe-in for Hater of the Year.

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Yahoo – Belichick and the Patriots are practicing with the Texans this week and the Patriots coach was asked about his long relationship with Texans assistant head coach Romeo Crennel during the press conference. “Well, Romeo and I started together at the Giants in special teams, so he and I coached special teams together and then we coached defensively together through 1990,” Belichick said in comments distributed by the team. “We worked at the Patriots together, then another team, and then back with the Patriots in 2001. I’ve relied on him through the years, both with our team when I worked with him, but even at times outside when we could help each other and it wasn’t a conflict in competitiveness.”

How can you not love a man with this much hate in his heart? A guy thats won FIVE Super Bowls while his former employer has literally become the worst team in the league.

Doesn’t matter. If you’ve got hate in your heart, let it out. Bill still feels like the Jets mistreated him one way or another so whats a bigger fuck you than not even mentioning your name? Its like when people ask about an old ex-girlfriend from college and you just pretend like you can’t even remember her name. Ultimate disrespect.

Even if you think Bill should be over the whole Parcells/Jets situation, you can’t argue that Mangini and the Jets fucked him pretty good in 2007 by creating the whole Spygate scandal. That shit will never die for Belichick.

Some people may call that petty. I call that an insatiable, burning desire to crush your enemies. Thats the kind of general I want to follow into battle.

Jets QB Christian Hackenberg Sent Off the Field for Terrible Practice Performance

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SI – On Monday at Jets’ camp, Christian Hackenberg was having trouble just breaking the huddle correctly. During one rep in seven-on-seven drills, as he approached the line of scrimmage, a coach ordered him to re-huddle. When he broke the huddle again—in the wrong fashion for a second time—he was ordered off the field. No one expects the Jets to contend this season, but at some point, they will have to decide whether Hackenberg is the answer at quarterback, a decision that could affect their 2018 draft plans and their franchise for years to come.

First off, what the FUCK does this even mean? He didn’t exit the huddle correctly? I don’t even understand what that entails. Did he not clap after calling the play? Did he try and line up in the slot like the old Wildcat days? Its such a Jets problem to have too. The guy can’t even get out of the HUDDLE to get ready to attempt to play QB. Forget actually playing QB well. Baby steps guys. J-E-T-S. Just Enough To Suck.

Rex Ryan Working for “Free” at ESPN

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PFT – So how much will former Jets and Bills coach Rex Ryan make over the next three years as an employee of ESPN? Probably not a dime. Per a source with knowledge of the situation, Ryan’s contract with the Bills has offset language that applies not only to other coaching jobs but also to broadcasting jobs. Thus, with $5.5 million due to Ryan for each of the next three years, the biggest winners in light of Ryan’s employment at ESPN are owners Terry and Kim Pegula, who will be getting credit for every dollar Ryan earns at ESPN, up to $5.5 million per year.

Well that’s not entirely true. He’s not working for free, but because of a clause in his contract that covers broadcasting jobs as well as other coaching jobs, any money he gets paid over the next couple of years will split the difference with what the Bills owe him.

How about the Pagula’s with the big brain thinking? “Yea, if we shit can you we are 100% more worried about having to still pay you to bullshit on Sunday NFL Countdown than actually landing another coaching job.” Good for Rex though, either way the guy gets paid $5.5 million a year. As a head coach? Meh. As a guy with a mic in his face?

At least this way he can literally say whatever he wants. We gotta get back to the days of “Lets go eat a goddamn snack” Rex. This fat bastard was built to be a TV personality.