Tag: Macy’s

Sears is on the Brink of Collapse and I’m Absolutely Thrilled

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USA Today – For years, there have been reports of Sears death spiraling toward the corporate graveyard alongside other popular brick-and-mortar retailers. The company, once one of the great brands of America, has managed to stay afloat in recent years by borrowing cash from its CEO and selling off desirable assets such as real-estate and brands. Now, reports say Sears is working with advisers to prepare to possibly file for bankruptcy, as soon as this week.

I’ve never rooted against a business as hard as I root against Sears. You can add K-Mart to that list as well since they’re owned by them. In 2018, Sears has no business being allowed to function as an actual store. Every time I go into Sears it is a god damn disaster. There’s never more than two people working the place in the same shift. You got one guy floating around the sales floor folding jeans leaving the registers completely baron while the other guy is out back having a smoke. And K-Mart? Oh boy, do not even get me started. That place is an indoor flea market.

Now I understand, jobs are being lost here and I do feel bad for those just trying to make a living. This anger is directed towards upper management. The same breed of greedy SOBs that put our favorite toy peddling giraffe out on the streets. Get with the times or get left behind. I do hope a company like Macy’s steps up to the plate and hires all 15 of Sears employees as an act of good faith though. It’s funny, because an unnamed 300s blogger actually used to work at Sears back in the day, so we can just pretend it was his fault the company is in shambles now.

RIP Sears. It was fun while it lasted.

Fill In the Blank: Millennials Are Now Killing ____

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You could really put in anything there and you’d probably win this game. It’s become the running joke of the internet for anyone thats a Millennial. Today we’re killing Applebees and Buffalo Wild Wings. Seriously, just google “Millennials are killing”

Well first off, FUCK malls, office parks, home ownership and everything else us Millennials are killing. The kids have come home to roost. Baby boomers and Gen X saddled us with a shitty economy, crippling student loans, destroyed social security, the list goes on.

So, yea all those ridiculous things like paying for a newspaper subscription can kick rocks. Technically Millennials are the majority now and it would seem we’re weeding out all the shit that no one wants or needs. SEARS? Fuck outta here with a store that sells khakis, dryers, and garden hoses.

And this isn’t about participation trophies that everyone over 40 seems to think Millennials line their shelfs with. It’s about combatting a shitty perception thats been put on an entire generation. What started out as lazy descriptions for 20 somethings like entitled, impatient, or too dependent on technology has morphed into those same older generations dumping their shit on Millennials.

I think some of it is just straight up resentment, which is normal for any older generation facing an upstart younger generation. The fact that any 21 year old dickhead can start a company from their parents basement with nothing but a laptop probably breeds that contempt. I feel ya, if you’ve been working at the same company for 30 years hoping to get that gold watch at retirement, that’s frustrating. But Millennials are pretty woke to the fact that anyone can get canned at any time (see ESPN) so more and more people are looking to work for themselves in some form or another.

But with that contempt comes the outrageous articles blaming Millennials for killing department stores like Macy’s. No, Macy’s killed Macy’s because they run 100,00 fucking square foot stores with too much overhead selling shit no one needs. Solid business model. Let me introduce you to Blockbuster and cab companies, you morons.

This all brings me to my final point; the Avocado Toast story. This shit has become an ironic rallying cry for Millennials who can’t help but laugh when these hit pieces pop up every other week. Millennials now can’t afford to buy houses because they buy avocado toast and Starbucks. Or maybe its the amazing advice that is continuously doled out to young people. I saw a recent CNBC package titled “Millennials not saving for homes.” What was the sage-like advice from CNBC? Move out of cities like NYC to cheaper, shit holes like Cleveland, get a tiny house, or buy an RV. That’s their advice.

 

Welp, appreciate the wise words, but I think we’ll take our chances and see what other shitty industries we can successfully kill off along the way.