Tag: Mark Zuckerberg

Facebook is Stopping Your Nudes from Leaking…by Asking You to Send Facebook Your Nudes Directly

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Ad Age – Facebook is fighting revenge porn in Australia … by asking for access to people’s nude photos. And the Australian government is involved in the effort. This all requires a bit more explanation: Australia is one of a few pilot countries testing a way to stop revenge porn before it happens, as the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, or ABC, reports. People worried their photos might leak online can contact the governmental e-Safety Commissioner, which might ask them to send themselves their own nude images on Messenger. Then Facebook will flag them. If anybody else tries to upload the photo on Facebook or Instagram, they won’t be able to, ABC says. And in case you’re worried, Facebook won’t keep your sexy shots on their servers, ABC says: “They’re not storing the image, they’re storing the link and using artificial intelligence and other photo-matching technologies,” e-Safety Commissioner Julie Inman Grant told ABC.

So Facebook is going to prevent my nudes from leaking by having me cut out the middle man and just send you my nudes directly?

You wanna know how to avoid having naked pictures of yourself end up where they shouldn’t? Don’t send them to dickheads, and turn off the cloud. Thats all ya need to do. That 28-year-old man-child who lives in his parents’ basement and still gets hammered at Applebee’s every weekend? Yea, he’s probably not worthy of your nudes. Its like Glengarry Glen Ross.

“These are the Glengarry leads. And to you they’re gold. And you don’t get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. They’re for closers”

And turn off the goddamn cloud. You know how many times my iPhone has told me its once again failed to sync with the cloud? No shit, phone. Its like Steve Jobs is just ITCHING to see all the pics of my dog on my iPhone. I remember The Fappening. The cloud got hacked and people couldn’t believe it. No thanks, I’ll just store backups of all my shit on an external hard drive like a senior citizen.

So remember this about your nudes, ladies. They’re for closers.

Fake News is the Dumbest Concept Since Crystal Pepsi

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I’ve had it up to here with Fake News. Talk about the buzzword of the year. People point to “Fake News” as to why so many are misinformed. No, people are misinformed because a large percentage of this country are sheep with a pack mentality. Build the Wall, I’m With Her, Let it Burn. It can be said for legit every candidate’s followers. People aren’t misinformed because Brad from high school shared a made up story, people are misinformed because people are dumb.

You wanna know how to spot Fake News? Step 1: Is the article from some website you have NEVER heard of? Step 2: Double check your sources (Big J Journalism trick) and see if you can find ANYTHING about that story on ANY other news website. Step 3: Nobody else has even mentioned it? Probably a good indicator its “Fake News.” Step 4: Ignore and go back to mindlessly stalking all your high school friends on Facebook.

You know how many times I’ve seen some moron I went to high school with share an article from some website thats only been in existence for a month? And now because of dumb dumbs like that Zuckerberg has literally created a tool to handhold people into not being bamboozled by Fake News. Read a book for me one time people.

Curt Schilling is the absolute worst about this. The guy literally retweets fake memes from Barstool and points to it like “See?!”

So please get out of my face with Fake News. If Fake News is an issue that you concern yourself with you are a simpleton and I don’t want to know you. Now everyone shut up and resume watching puppy videos. Thats what the internet was made for.

PS – Yes, I have notifications on for anything Zuckerberg posts on Facebook. He’s the brainchild and head of the biggest tech company of our lifetime. Sue me.