Tag: MLB

Hanley Ramirez Was HUNTING Guerin Austin After Red Sox Win

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So Brian Johnson threw a complete game shutout in his Fenway debut, the first pitcher to do that since a guy named Pedro Martinez. Anyways, BJ got the customary Gatorade bath, and per usual Guerin Austin suffered the collateral damage. At this point I feel like that’s got to be in her contract that she accepts frequent Gatorade baths and has to pretend its funny that a Sox player ruined another one of her coats.

*Yes in my excitement I accidentally called Brian Johnson Brian Anderson. Hand up, that ones on me.

Derek Jeter Just Crushed His Nephew’s Dreams

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So Jeter’s little nephew Jalen, who is internet famous for adorably tipping his cap at Jeter’s last game, asked Uncle Derek if he could wear his No. 2 when he plays for the Yankees one day. And Jeter shut that shit down REAL quick.

I think Derek probably has to work on the little kid communication a bit since he’s got one on the way. I give Jeets props for not lying to the kid but a hard NOPE in his face, probably isn’t the best way to handle that question. But hey, alpha males gotta let everyone know what belongs to them right off the bat so no one challenges them. Little kids are no exception. #Re2pect

PS – I didn’t want to include this but I had to. Any time there is a directly relevant Simpsons clip, my hands are tied. The internet gods would strike me down if I didn’t post it.

Tim Tebow About to Get Promoted by the Mets?

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Yahoo – Tebow has gotten fairly hot lately down in the Sally League of late. Overall, he’s hitting .250/.330/.370 with two homers and 11 RBIs in 28 games for Columbia, but in his past 16 games he has an .849 OPS. It has the Mets thinking: According to a club source, there has been discussion about moving the former Heisman Trophy winner to a higher level within the minors, but such a jump likely won’t occur until after the All-Star Game in midseason. The next level up from where Tebow is now would be St. Lucie, which is high-A, but I bet if they promote him they’d send him to Double-A Binghamton. Partially to get him closer to New York geographically, but partially as a sink-or-swim proposition.

CHOO CHOO! GET OFF THE TRACKS! TEBOW IS COMING TO DOUBLE A!

At least, according to sources, the Mets are considering giving Timmy a promotion after a recent hot streak has him slapping the ball all over the yard. Is he “technically” only batting .250 in Single A ball? Sure. But maybe getting him up to Double A will really get the competitive juices flowing. Throw in a couple miracle walk off type plays and he’s a Met before you know it.

You know ESPN is already aroused at the thought of Tebow playing professional baseball in the Northeast. They’re gonna really wish they didn’t axe all those reporters when they need someone on Tebow’s lawn day and night this summer.

WNBA Daily Fantasy is Here and I am……IN

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NY Daily News – The WNBA is entering the daily fantasy sports market. The league announced a partnership with FanDuel on Thursday — the first time a women’s professional sports league will be available in one-day fantasy games…The site will also have its normal offerings of daily fantasy contests in which people can win money by picking a lineup of WNBA players and pitting them against other players. The WNBA is hoping this new venture brings more fans to the league, which starts its 21st season this weekend.

I am so, so, so IN on WNBA daily fantasy. This is it guys, this is how I build my empire. I was late to the party on NFL, NBA, NHL even Golf and MMA have daily fantasy now. But WNBA? I am diving in head first. Not to mention I could buy courtside seats with my winnings for like $35 right?

The fact that you can bet on a game at halftime is absurd enough, but now I can literally lay my hard earned cash on the table building my fantasy team around Skyler Diggins? Is a dunk worth extra points? Its gotta be right? Shore up the end of my bench with a savvy vet like Diana Taurasi. I think she still plays?

What happens when Candace Parker gets pregnant though? That could potentially tank my season. Shit, that could actually be the FanDuel commercial. Redraft your team every day so unexpected pregnancies don’t ruin your WNBA fantasy season!

Recap: I am IN on WNBA FanDuel.

Even Former MLB Players Are Still Shitting on Joe West

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Joe West is the ultimate dickhead umpire in all of baseball. The definition of inserting yourself into the game. People legitimately call him Cowboy Joe West for christ’s sake. Welp, even former players are still shitting on Joe West for being a terrible umpire.

Umpires and refs are a job where if you know the guy’s name he’s probably not doing a great job. Joe West, Angel Hernandez, Tim Donaghy, Walt Anderson etc. Except for Ed Hochuli. Everyone knows Ed Hochuli because he’s a boss.

Addison Russell is Using Pokemon Cards to Flip the Autograph Game On Its Head

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ESPN – When Chicago Cubs shortstop Addison Russell asked those two All-Stars — and many others around the league — to autograph the back of his Pokémon cards, he knew he would get some puzzled reactions. And he most certainly did. Yes, Russell is sending clubhouse attendants to opposing locker rooms armed with Pokémon cards for some of Russell’s favorite players to sign.

Did Addison Russell just become my new best friend? Yup. You see it all the time; professional athletes asking other pros to sign balls or even exchanging jerseys, but this, this is something. Busting out Pokemon cards and asking people to sign those instead is so awesome. Thats how you know Russell is a stud. He doesn’t need to front like he’s the baddest guy on the block and pretend Pokemon is only for kids. He loves Pokemon and he owns it.

If you’re in your 20’s and deny liking Pokemon then you are a walking, clinical definition of insecurity. We all loved the Pocket Monsters. Sure, maybe not all of us were illegally playing Pokemon Red emulators on our laptops in class back in college, but theres a reason Pokemon Go is one of the highest earning mobile apps of all time.

Did I spend hours upon hours playing Pokemon Go in traffic so I could snag the special edition Christmas Pikachu with a Santa hat? I mean, I didn’t not do that.

There is a method to his madness. He doesn’t just pick the cards randomly. He’s looking for a card that fits the player’s game or personality. “If there are flame balls on them, I’ll get a closer like Kenley Jansen to sign,” Russell said.

This isn’t just some gag from the 23-year-old, Russell is doing his research. You can’t just have anyone signing holographic or legendary cards. Thats bullshit. That would be stupid and childish. The autograph needs to fit the Pokemon.

So keep doing your thing Addison, hopefully you get Pablo Sandoval to sign that shiny Snorlax card. Get it? Because all he does is sleep and eat! Woof.

PS – Shoutout to my dude Kenley Jansen for dropping the Dragon Ball Z reference.

“I watched Pokémon a little bit. I was more of a Dragon Ball Z type of guy. I was watching more Dragon Ball Z growing up. So I get it,” Jansen said of Russell’s hobby. “Pokémon is his stuff, and everybody has their own unique way.

Now that is a goddamn show and if you’re not a fan, thats fine, but you’re wrong.

Pittsburgh Pirates Continue to Have the Best Ballpark in the MLB with Super Mario In-Game Contest

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As some of you may know, aside from Fenway, PNC Park in Pittsburgh is by far my favorite ballpark in the MLB. Just a great looking park, great sight lines, cheap tickets, easy access from public transport and solid fan giveaways. Now take all of that, throw in some cutting edge technology and sprinkle in some old school gaming nostalgia? That is a goddamn ballpark my friends. And that is exactly what the Pirates did with their new “Super Bucco Run” on the right field wall.

It’s basically an in-game contest for fans to physically compete in, essentially playing in your own version of Super Mario while running the warning track. This is awesome. Take those racing hot dogs, sausages and perogies out behind the shed and put a bullet in their brain because Super Bucco Run is the future.

Yankees Prospect Asks Team to Un-Retire Mickey Mantle’s Number for Him

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Yahoo Sports – The number on the back of a baseball player’s jersey is more than just a number. In a game filled with superstition, having your lucky number could make a huge difference in your performance…But when that number is retired by the franchise, that player is out of luck. It’s time to find a new number. Well … unless you’re New York Yankees prospect Clint Frazier. The 22-year-old outfielder reportedly asked the team if it “un-retire” numbers, according to Yankees broadcaster Suzyn Waldman. Predictably, Frazier was denied. Teams don’t un-retire numbers. It doesn’t happen. It was an absurd request by Frazier. And yet, the whole thing gets even more ludicrous. Frazier wanted the Yankees to un-retire No. 7. Yes, he wanted to wear Mickey Mantle’s number!

Goddamnit you’re gonna make me like you Clint Frazier aren’t you? I’ve already written about my fascination with the up and coming Yankees prospect before because of his absolute mane of red hair that the NYY will ultimately make him chop off because they still think its 1920. But now this comes out that Frazier is legit asking to wear numbers the Yanks have already RETIRED and I’m starting to develop a man crush on a guy who will one day play for the team I despise. A juiced redhead who absolutely mashes the ball. He’s like the Neo of gingers. The one to reset the Matrix of abuse that redheads have taken for decades.

Now this same guy is just pissing on Yankees tradition and asking to wear Mickey Mantle’s number? Love it. Kid probably doesn’t even know who the Mick is. Guy banged Marilyn Monroe, have some respect.

Hilarious lack of self awareness and it probably just makes Yankees fans like the kid less, which I always enjoy. It’s like when A-Rod was hitting 40 dingers with 140 RBIs and all of New York just absolutely loathed the guy. “Still not better than our light hitting shortstop who’s defense should’ve forced him to left field years ago.” Oh Yankees fans, what a bunch of wacky loudmouths.

Remember Theo Epstein, the Guy the Red Sox Forced Out? Yea, He Was Just Named the World’s Greatest Leader

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ESPN – Theo Epstein is the world’s greatest leader. So said Fortune magazine, which published its annual list on Thursday morning. The Chicago Cubs’ president of baseball operations finished in the top spot, ahead of Alibaba founder Jack Ma. Pope Francis at No. 3, Melinda Gates at No. 4 and Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos rounded out the top five.

Thank GOD the Red Sox won the World Series in 2013 because otherwise this shit would be straight up demoralizing. Not only has Theo Epstein taken a perennial dumpster fire of a team that used to routinely top 100 losses a season and turned them into the BEST team in baseball, but now he’s been crowned the World’s Greatest Leader by Fortune.

Dude beat out Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and the Pope. Theo Epstein beat out the motherfucking Pope. The Red Sox forced that guy out. All because Larry Lucchino, who has since been put out to pasture, wanted to have a dick measuring contest with the young blood. Because the guy who doesn’t even work here anymore wanted to feel important, we let legitimately the best baseball executive of our generation slip through our fingers.

Larry Lucchino calling all the shots because he helped build a cool ballpark down in Baltimore. Lucchino was a straight up real life version of Mugatu. “I INVENTED CAMDEN YARDS.”

Theo, a guy who grew up in BROOKLINE, who dreamed of working for the Red Sox did just that, then helped construct 2(!) championship teams and then was shown the door. How does that happen?

And now he’s the World’s. Greatest. Leader. Good. I hope that makes John Henry puke on his 50 fucking foot yacht.

The Red Sox did not immediately respond when asked to comment.

Holy shit imagine if the Sox did not have that miracle run to win the World Series in 2013? There was the absolutely epic collapse of 2011, the chicken and beer fiasco, the downright shameful smear campaign of Terry Francona, the Bobby Valentine abortion of an experiment, followed by 3 last place finishes in 4 years. That is a dark, dark period if not for that title they somehow shoehorned in there. And Theo is probably laughing like a bastard right now out in Wrigleyville counting his $10 million a year salary.

If one of the highest spending teams in baseball could only somehow get their hands on a young stud executive the Sox would be set for a generation.

God damnit.

 

Evan Drellich Says Chris Sale May Be Red Sox Most Electrifying Pitcher Since Pedro

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CSNNE – The newest lefty ace can succeed where David Price did not. Chris Sale might be the most electrifying pitcher the Red Sox have had since Pedro Martinez. Josh Beckett had his moments. Jon Lester was steadily excellent. But the stuff Sale brings is a step above.

I am HYPED for this season. Cannot wait to get it going. Despite my very real fear of 2/5 of the starters in our rotation going down with arm injuries, Chris Sale is gonna bring the juice. This guy is an incredibly talented pitcher and is hyper competitive, but he’s also a complete psycho. That is the full package for what it takes to be a legend in a town like Boston. You need a guy thats a little crazy to thrive in a pressure packed, often cynical market like this.  That was Pedro.

With Sale striking out 10 Yankees in a Spring Training game last night, it provided a glimpse into hopefully years of dominant performances against the Bombers. There was nothing better than the days where Pedro was so good he could legit toy with dudes or reach back and blow em away with his fastball.

David Price can be great, but he can also implode like he did in the playoffs last year. But either way, he’s a pretty laid back quiet guy. It’s hard to get fired up about a David Price start. Chris Sale seems to have that fire. He seems to be the guy who will bean a dude without hesitation. Sox haven’t had a guy like that really since Beckett and even Lackey, as short lived as that one was. But to describe a guy as the most anything since Pedro has me sweating for the season to start.