CBS Sports – The U.S. men’s national team will only be spectators during the 2018 World Cup in Russia. That’s because the USMNT lost 2-1 at Trinidad and Tobago on Tuesday night in the final match of the hexagonal group stage. The loss, plus a winning goal from Panama in the dying seconds against Costa Rica gave the Panamanians the third and final direct spot in the group, eliminating Bruce Arena’s squad. Honduras defeated Mexico to earn the fourth spot.
For the first time since 1986 the United States won’t be playing in the World Cup. The USMNT failing to qualify for the 2018 World Cup is downright embarrassing. The worst part? A goddamn DRAW against Trinidad and Tobago and they qualify, which was apparently too much to ask.
Just a quick side note, as of a September ranking by a little organization known as FIFA, the USA men’s team was ranked 28th in the world. Wanna guess what Trinidad and Tobago was? Come on, guess. Well, they came in at just under triple digits at No. 99.
A few spots behind Sierra Leone; a country made famous by Leo Dicaprio and Kanye West for fucking blood diamonds.
After a 2014 World Cup run that got people excited and legitimately asking if the US could finagle a Top-8 finish in 2018 and play with the big boys. Welp, a loss to motherfucking Trinidad and Tobago may have just killed an entire generation of young, budding soccer fans. Just to put this into perspective, the earliest the United States can make the World Cup next, I will be in my mid 30s.
People forget that qualifying for the World Cup isn’t exactly a foregone conclusion for the US, even if it should be. Well all that goodwill, excitement, and momentum that American soccer had built up over the last 7 years is gone. And they won’t even have a chance to redeem themselves for another 5 years. And who’s to say they’ll be any better?
American soccer has struggled to ever get a real foothold in the international scene. 2014 was one of the most exciting World Cup runs ever as the USMNT got to the round of 16 and were eliminated, but in absolutely thrilling fashion, which only got people that much more excited for 2018. Seriously, if you’re even half a soccer fan, read this quick recap of that final game and remember the good times. I know where I was. I was slugging beers at Clarke’s while the sun was still up like a goddamn soccer hooligan.
“The U.S. drew Belgium in the round of 16. After spending much of the match defending against Belgium’s potent attack, with goalkeeper Tim Howard setting a World Cup finals record for saves in a match, the U.S. survived with a 0–0 score after 90 minutes, sending the match to extra time. After quickly falling behind 2–0 to Belgium in extra time, the U.S. cut the deficit in half in the 107th minute when substitute Julian Green volleyed in a lobbed through ball from Michael Bradley, but were unable to score a second and were eliminated.”
Anddd now we’re back to square one. I don’t think anyone is more bullshit than our boy and former Revs player Taylor Twellman though. TAKE EM TO THE WOODSHED, TAYLOR.
Are people listening to me yet? Are you making money yet? In tonight’s Patriots Pick Em I was not exactly overflowing with confidence about our boys. With the Pats being a (-5.5) favorite coming off a walkoff loss to the Panthers and still having the Patriots defense I felt that was a little rich and had the Bucs covering.
“Even with Brady having one of the best starts of his entire career, the guy can’t play defense. So while I’m not saying the Pats are necessarily gonna lose, I don’t see them winning by a touchdown or more. I think if anything they squeak by with a FG or less so I’m picking the Bucs to cover.”
What happened? The Bucs hang around and score a late TD with just over 2 minutes left to bring that Pats lead down to 5. Very, very close to blowing everything to hell, but as John Sterling would say THEEEE BUCCANEEERSSSS COVERRR!!!
I’m writing this after the Red Sox just finished getting bent over by the Astros so I’m a little bit jaded right now. So tonight on the American tradition that is Thursday Night Football Color Rush, the Patriots are a (-5.5) point favorite over the Buccaneers….and I don’t feel great about that line. (As always, all of our betting lines are courtesy of the Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook so blame them if the numbers change.) The Pats defense has obviously looked like shit. Well, no actually they’ve looked like a defense on pace to be the worst defense in NFL HISTORY. Alan Branch got left at home and now Gronk is out. That is not a great equation especially on a short week. Even with Brady having one of the best starts of his entire career, the guy can’t play defense. So while I’m not saying the Pats are necessarily gonna lose, I don’t see them winning by a touchdown or more. I think if anything they squeak by with a FG or less so I’m picking the Bucs to cover.
PS – I saw Rich Keefe tweet earlier today the payoff of an anti-Boston parlay today and I’m kinda wishing I took that right about now.
Anti-Boston Parlay
Astros, Predators, Buccaneers all win
$100 to win $947.10
ESPN – A New England Patriots spokesperson apologized Monday, a day after the team charged fans at least $4.50 for tap water at Gillette Stadium. With the temperature hitting an unseasonably high 86 degrees in Foxborough, Massachusetts, the team doubled its inventory of water bottles for Sunday’s game, the Boston Globe reported. That was almost four times the inventory for an average game. The problem was that each concession stand could hold only so many bottles. When the on-hand supply ran dry, fans started asking for cups of tap water — and, according to numerous tweets, were charged $4.50 or $5 per soda cup.
What a bunch of cocksuckers. If you run out of bottled water thats not my problem, go run to Tedeschi’s. That does not give you an excuse to charge people $5 for a cup of unfiltered toilet water. Unless that crisp Abraham Lincoln I just gave you comes with a free Budweiser, then I should not be held liable for flipping over the whole goddamn snack stand.
God forbid some elderly lady croaked in the 90 degree heat because she didn’t have $5 on her. I better be getting a souvenir cup and a coupon for a free fucking bottle of water if you’re trying to charge me for Foxborough sink agua.
The Patriots cruised to a blowout win over the Saints yesterday so its all popsicles and sunshine around here. Kind of. Not to throw cold water on a great victory, but we saw some key players exit the game or clearly playing at less than 100% with various injuries. I’m not yet in panic mode, but this shit has me straight up concerned.
Julian Edelman (IR)
Malcolm Mitchell (IR)
Matthew Slater (OUT – hammy)
Danny Amendola (OUT – concussion/knee)
Philip Dorsett (came out of the game)
Chris Hogan (was in and out of game, severely limping)
“It really, really sucks that Edelman is done for the year, but if there was ever a year to have an injury at receiver, its this year.” I said those words after Edelman went down because we still had Hogan, Amendola, Mitchell, and of course the newly acquired Brandin Cooks. Now? Frighteningly thin. Sure, Brady went out there and had one of his best games ever with fucking fullbacks lining up out wide, but that game had an eerily-2006 feel to it when Brady was basically throwing to trashcans in the AFC championship game.
Dont’a Hightower (OUT – knee)
Reports are still pegging this at 2-3 week “minor” injury, but the fact that it happened in Week 1 after the Pats and other teams in Free Agency were concerned with Hightower’s health is not a great sign. If he misses a lengthy period of time, then this Pats defense is cooked against the better teams in this league.
Rob Gronkowski (left the game with a groin injury)
Here’s my real-time reaction to Gronk making a reception and taking a hit before gingerly getting up and taking himself out of the game.
I literally cannot watch Gronkowski take a hit anymore. #Patriots
And its true, I legit can’t bear to watch the guy take hits anymore because you never know which one is gonna be the one that ends his season this time. But in the sick paradox that is football, its the only way for Gronk to be effective. If he’s not out there being a physical monster, then he’s just not making an impact. It seems like this is a groin injury and not too serious; Gronk said he was “fine” after the game. Thankfully its not the back as Tony Romo pointed out multiple times on the broadcast. Romo’s career was effectively ended by back injuries so this guy knows what he’s talking about, which is scary. Hopefully its just a tweak and Gronk’s back out there next week.
Eric Rowe (left the game with a groin injury)
Role players for the Pats (except both started against the Saints) so to see these guys exit the game with injuries is concerning as well. Rowe is the 2nd or 3rd corner depending on what day it is, so to lose that guy for any period of time is a huge hit for the D.
Rex Burkhead (left the game with a rib injury)
Burkhead looked like yet another wrinkle in the Pats offense that McDaniels could have some fun with before leaving the game with a rib injury. Its unclear how serious that injury is, but he didn’t return to the game. Sure the Pats have a stable of RBs, but their effectiveness is in the combined efficiency of their diversity, ya know kind of like the Captain Planet Planeteers. So the more of them that are healthy the better off the Pats will be.
So long story short, injuries are starting to pile up for the Patriots and its not even October yet, which has me concerned. Combine the recent injuries with preseason losses like top draft pick Derek Rivers (ACL) and Rob Ninkovich (delicious Bud Lights in retirement and arguing with Felger on TV) and the Pats are getting thinner each week on both sides of the ball. They looked awesome against the Saints, but hopefully some of these injuries clear up or Tom Brady will literally have to carry this team on his back like the old 2006 squad.
I apologize to anyone that listened to The 300s Podcast last week where I all but promised the Patriots would win by three touchdowns.
They only won by 16. I am truly sorry for that. Just 1-point less than a true three score victory, but we don’t accept moral victories around here. In the blog I tempered that to a 10 point victory, but I’m a man of my word and what I say on the podcast lives on. Now…my other gambling takes are taking a Week 1 beating, which we’ll give the post mortem on tomorrow, but for now lets just bask in that Patriots blowout on Bourbon Street.
Don’t close down the grill and certainly don’t stop drinking because yes thats right, FOOTBALL IS BACK. Listen and subscribe to Ep 013 of The 300s Podcast on iTunes. More specifically Football Sundays are back. Sure we had the Pats on Thursday night, but yesterday was the first time we all got to watch football on the couch for 10 straight hours. And it was glorious. In Ep 013 of The 300s Podcast we’re talking Patriots, the rest of the NFL, the Draftkings Ponzi scheme, Fantasy Football, NCAA Football (Baker Mayfield is a bad, bad man) and a Red Sox update (probably still will get swept in the first round). SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES!
In a game that had the fans frothing at the mouth, ready to pounce on the Chiefs, their fans and most of all Roger Goodell, the Patriots couldn’t get the job done and dropped their season opener 42-27. Second year Chiefs receiver Tyreek Hill was an absolute monster as was rookie RB Kareem Hunt who had his way with the Pats defense. The Patriots looked excelling out of the gate, scoring less than 3 minutes into the game. But an failed 4th down conversion on their next drive swung momentum, followed by an overturned Gronk touchdown, some key injuries to the Patriots, and then huge plays down the stretch by the KC skill players and all of that was enough to wipe out the 19-0 dream before I even had my first Shipyard pumpkin beer of the season. On to the highlights, the lowlights, and all the rest.
Highlights
Obviously dropping the 5th Super Bowl champs banner at Gillette was a glorious thing to see, albeit awkwardly brief and to the soundtrack of House of Pain, but despite a shitty loss ya can’t take that banner away.
Brandin Cooks looks to come as advertised, fast as all hell and he is going to be a problem for defenses all year. This guy is going to get legitimately 100 hundred PI calls this season.
Robert Kraft unveiling and rocking his own damn shoe, the RKK Air Force 1.
Alex Smith is only the second QB to EVER throw for 300+ yards and 4 TDs on a Belichick defense with the only other being Drew Brees in 2009. That game was also an absolute beatdown in New Orleans that I remember clear as day watching from my college newspaper editors meeting.
The Danny Amendola head injury was devastating because Malcolm Mitchell was put on IR just hours before the game so the Pats were down to just 3 wide receivers in their first game; Brandon Cooks, Chris Hogan, and Philip Dorsett. Amendola is nails, but he needs to be managed because he does get hurt a lot. So naturally the Patriots ran him into the ground, return punts, and take absolute buddy passes over the middle from Brady. Huge loss as he put up a sneaky line of 6 catches for 100 yards before exiting the game. Hopefully he’s not out long because this team needs him right now.
The Dont’a Hightower injury could legitimately wreck the season for a team already dangerously thing in the front seven. Hightower got rolled up on by a lineman in the 3rd quarter and missed the rest of the game. He went into the medical tent and could later be seen riding the stationary bike with a hot pack on his knee, which I don’t know what to make of, but certainly looked like an MCL injury. If he is out for an extended period of time then the defense is really in trouble. Update: PFT is reporting its just a “minor” MCL sprain.
The Pats newest addition to the defense Cassius Marsh got a crash course in how to not cover a runningback out of the backfield as he got smoked for a 74-yard TD reception by Kareem Hunt. To be fair, Marsh was more of a defensive end than a coverage linebacker during his time in Seattle, but still not a great look. Especially not when you have your whole face painted like a goddamn juggalo.
The one thing that does concern me is with Julian Edelman out for the season and a brand new shiny toy in burner Brandon Cooks is that I hope Brady doesn’t try and force too many deep balls each game. Thats exactly what the Patriots were doing in the 4th quarter last night. Obviously they needed two scores to win the game at that point, but just forcing seam routes is never a great option. Gave me cold sweats as it was reminiscent of the end of Super Bowl XLII when Brady was just hucking 40 yard bombs in vain to Randy Moss.
Marcus Cannon getting smoked by Justin Houston was like seeing an old high school friend after years. Not exactly a great thing to see, but its exactly how you remember it.
Rob Gronkowski was getting flanked by one of the best safeties in the league last night in Eric Berry (who may have unfortunately torn his achilles), but as the best TE in the league you gotta make something happen. I thought he did just that on his would be TD catch, but the refs disagreed and overturned the call saying it touched the turf. Huge break for the Chiefs that helped turn the momentum of the game.
Kicking a FG on 4th and inches. Especially after going for it on 4th and 1 earlier (and failing). It was very un-Patriots like, but maybe Bill just knew he wasn’t going to get through that D-line last night as they later got stuffed on another 4th down conversion attempt.
Kareem Hunt setting the goddamn record for most yards from scrimmage for a rookie in his first game. After fumbling on his first career carry, the Spencer Ware backup exploded for 148 yards rushing and 1 TD on the ground with 5 catches for 98 yards and another 2 TDs. Savvy fantasy owners everywhere rejoice.
How about Marky Mark being unable to not promote something for 5 fucking minutes? Wahlberg was wearing some branded t-shirt that just seemed so cheesy. My man, just throw on a TB12 jersey for me one time.
Mike Gillislee looked great, rushing for 3 touchdowns, but it was definitely disappointing to see him get stuffed on 4th and short on two separate occasions. For our goal line guy, you gotta have those.
It looked like the Patriots weren’t exactly dying to have Tom Brady smash his head into a wall in Week 1 as they decided against the QB sneak on 4th and inches. Instead electing to go with Gillislee again, who got stuffed. Very odd to see because Brady is essentially automatic from that spot.
The Pats special teams unit frustratingly (and hilariously) refusing to not absolutely smoke the Chiefs punter. Thankfully it was a long 4th down conversion as the Pats ran into the kicker on two consecutive plays to earn a 5 yard penalty each time. Almost seemed intentional, maybe they just don’t like the guy.
Now I gotta listen to shit like this all over again.
No, no he’s not. Lets give him more than one game with a new offensive scheme and see how things go. Brady was far from great last night going 16/36 for 267 yards with 0 TD’s, but if anything I’m putting this L on the defense.
So whats the silver lining?
Its one bad game. This same exact thing happened two years ago against the same exact team and everyone was more than happy to dance on the Patriots graves.
Then what happened? The Pats came back and anihilated the Bengals and then went on to win the Super Bowl. So lets all pump the breaks. Bad games aren’t concerning. Trends are concerning. So if they get trounced next week by the Saints, then we can talk.
247 Sports – Vince Wilfork will not be in New England for his retirement tailgate. The former Patriots nose tackled retired from the NFL earlier this offseason and in his announcement teased a big tailgate party in the Gillette Stadium parking lot as he partnered up with Kingsford to send off his career in the league. However, Wilfork announced on social media that he’ll no longer be in the region for the tailgate or the opener as he’s elected to stay in Houston to help those impacted by Hurricane Harvey. “It’s one of those things when Mother Nature calls, it calls,” he said in a video expressing his desire to help.
I was so damn excited for Vince Wilfork’s retirement BBQ tailgate party. It looked like it was gonna be a blast with the big man grilling and smoking meats with the best of em before the Pats start their Super Bowl defense.
But in true Big Vince fashion, Wilfork knew he could do more good by helping out down in Texas after that sonofabitch Harvey did its best to smash Houston.
Vince Wilfork will not be in New England for his official retirement tailgate; staying back in Houston to help those affected by Harvey.
LETS GOOO. LETS GOOO. Your Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots are back tonight after 7 months without football. Tonight they’re gonna light the biggest fire the north has ever seen.
The last time we saw this team they were lifting the Lombardi Trophy after completing the greatest comeback in NFL history and giving Roger Goodell and the league a gigantic middle finger. As Robert Kraft once said, this one is unequivocally the sweetest.
The Pats had to literally redesign the goddamn stadium to make room for Super Bowl Champs banner No. 5. That is preposterous and tonight we get to see Tom Brady and the boys drop another banner on the rest of the NFL.
It sucks that we lost Julian Edelman for the year with a knee injury, but this team is still stacked. We’ve got Gronk back, added Brandon Cooks, and brought in Rex Burkhead and Mike Gillislee. Another year in the system for Chris Hogan and Malcolm Mitchell. Dion Lewis, Danny Amendola, Dont’a Hightower, Malcolm Butler, Devin McCourty, Stephon Gilmore, GET OFF THE TRACKS BECAUSE THE TRAIN IS LEAVING THE STATION.
The 300s 