Tag: New York

We Are On Porzingis Watch High Alert!

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Whether its early onset dementia or Phil Jackson just hates Kristaps Porzingis with a fiery fucking passion for blowing off his end of season meeting with the Zen Master, either way Phil just went nuclear.

There is absolutely no good reason for a GM to go on TV and trash his fucking franchise player unless he’s already decided Porzingis is gone.

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So I don’t know why he’s doing it, but as everyone has said every offseason for 3 years – the Celtics have enough assets to make any trade they want as long as a player is available. Anthony Davis ain’t available so we’re not gonna pretend we’ll trade 7 first round picks to New Orleans like its 2K. Porzingis is available though, so make it happen. Don’t sell the farm, but get it done.

There’s so much smoke and disinformation out there that nobody knows what the hell is gonna happen. But I am on full alert.

The NBA Offseason is the Best in Sports and its Not Even Close

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The amount of juice the NBA has provided since the season ended last week is just insane. Its been more entertaining than the NBA playoffs and even more so than the Finals. The NBA offseason is hands down the best in sports as GM’s continue to look around the league, see teams like Golden State, and just say fuck it lets reload.

In the immortal words of Ricky Bobby: “If you ain’t first, you’re last.”

I think that needs to be the new slogan of the NBA. If you’re not Golden State then your franchise might as well punt on the next 3-5 years. It sounds like a joke, BUT THATS WHAT TEAMS ARE DOING. Sure, there are teams like the Celtics who are technically within striking distance so I applaud Trader Danny’s efforts to improve this team as long as it does so without mortgaging the future. But even LeBron and the Cavs, the team thats been to the NBA Finals the last 3 years IN A ROW, seem to be panicking. Cleveland has been in talks for all the big names like Paul George and Jimmy Butler all sandwiched around kicking their own GM to the bricks.

As much as it sucks there is a goddamn Super Team standing between the Celtics and a title, I’m glad it at least gives the rest of the league the motivation to either completely blow things up and rebuild or just stockpile as many assets and big name players as possible.

It’s like the Elite Four at the end of Victory Road in Pokemon. An absolute nightmare to deal with so don’t even both walking down the road if you’re not ready. Level up, get your shit together and then go after the top dogs.

So yesterday we had Woj Bomb after Woj Bomb. Paul George told the Pacers after next season he’s out so now they’re looking to get whatever they can for PG-13. The Knicks are listening to offers for 21-year old stud Kristaps Porzingis and the Celtics are one of the teams in talks with NY. Jimmy Butler saying he’d rather not play in Cleveland so the C’s are still in on that rumor too. Dwight Howard got traded, minutes after dropping some fire jokes about NBA trades on his own Twitter account.

Then we got the Lakers trading D’Angelo Russell, the Clippers looking to deal DeAndre Jordan, all while we still have the NBA fucking Draft on Thursday night. God knows how many more trades there will be and how much more hot, hot heat Woj is going to be dropping on Twitter.

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The only one drooling more than me right now is probably Ainge. No sleep til Brooklyn.

Are the Celtics in on a Trade for Kristaps Porzingis?

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So just about an hour ago, Adrian Wojnarowski tweeted out this bombshell about the Knicks and Kristaps Porzingis.

Confirming what every Knicks fan wakes up in a cold sweat worrying about every night; Phil Jackson might actually trade Porzingis. The only bright spot for that dumpster fire of a franchise is coincidentally the only good move the Zen Master has made since taking over the Knicks. And now Woj puts it out there that the Knicks aren’t ruling out dealing him. Man, if I’m a Knicks I’m probably just putting on my Carmelo Jersey and jumping off the fucking George Washington Bridge.

But that brings me back to the Celtics, who have been stockpiling assets for years, basically just waiting for a young stud to become available.

And after Danny traded the No. 1 overall pick the other night (whether you agree with the logic or not), everyone in the media seemed to agree that this looked like the first step in a series of moves Danny would make. There’s a sense of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Is Porzingis that other shoe? Talk about a great fit for the Celtics if its true. The C’s need size. Porzingis is 7’3″. The guy is a goddamn giraffe. They also need big men who can shoot to really thrive in Brad Steven’s system. Last year KP averaged 18.1 points per game, shot 45% from the field, and 35.7% from behind the arc. Check, check and check.

Honestly, who the fuck knows what Trader Danny is ever really thinking. Does anyone doubt Danny Ainge could pull one over on this guy though?

But, I do know one thing. I am anxiously awaiting a Woj Bomb dropping. Notifications. On.

Derek Jeter Just Crushed His Nephew’s Dreams

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So Jeter’s little nephew Jalen, who is internet famous for adorably tipping his cap at Jeter’s last game, asked Uncle Derek if he could wear his No. 2 when he plays for the Yankees one day. And Jeter shut that shit down REAL quick.

I think Derek probably has to work on the little kid communication a bit since he’s got one on the way. I give Jeets props for not lying to the kid but a hard NOPE in his face, probably isn’t the best way to handle that question. But hey, alpha males gotta let everyone know what belongs to them right off the bat so no one challenges them. Little kids are no exception. #Re2pect

PS – I didn’t want to include this but I had to. Any time there is a directly relevant Simpsons clip, my hands are tied. The internet gods would strike me down if I didn’t post it.

Tim Tebow About to Get Promoted by the Mets?

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Yahoo – Tebow has gotten fairly hot lately down in the Sally League of late. Overall, he’s hitting .250/.330/.370 with two homers and 11 RBIs in 28 games for Columbia, but in his past 16 games he has an .849 OPS. It has the Mets thinking: According to a club source, there has been discussion about moving the former Heisman Trophy winner to a higher level within the minors, but such a jump likely won’t occur until after the All-Star Game in midseason. The next level up from where Tebow is now would be St. Lucie, which is high-A, but I bet if they promote him they’d send him to Double-A Binghamton. Partially to get him closer to New York geographically, but partially as a sink-or-swim proposition.

CHOO CHOO! GET OFF THE TRACKS! TEBOW IS COMING TO DOUBLE A!

At least, according to sources, the Mets are considering giving Timmy a promotion after a recent hot streak has him slapping the ball all over the yard. Is he “technically” only batting .250 in Single A ball? Sure. But maybe getting him up to Double A will really get the competitive juices flowing. Throw in a couple miracle walk off type plays and he’s a Met before you know it.

You know ESPN is already aroused at the thought of Tebow playing professional baseball in the Northeast. They’re gonna really wish they didn’t axe all those reporters when they need someone on Tebow’s lawn day and night this summer.

Yankees Prospect Asks Team to Un-Retire Mickey Mantle’s Number for Him

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Yahoo Sports – The number on the back of a baseball player’s jersey is more than just a number. In a game filled with superstition, having your lucky number could make a huge difference in your performance…But when that number is retired by the franchise, that player is out of luck. It’s time to find a new number. Well … unless you’re New York Yankees prospect Clint Frazier. The 22-year-old outfielder reportedly asked the team if it “un-retire” numbers, according to Yankees broadcaster Suzyn Waldman. Predictably, Frazier was denied. Teams don’t un-retire numbers. It doesn’t happen. It was an absurd request by Frazier. And yet, the whole thing gets even more ludicrous. Frazier wanted the Yankees to un-retire No. 7. Yes, he wanted to wear Mickey Mantle’s number!

Goddamnit you’re gonna make me like you Clint Frazier aren’t you? I’ve already written about my fascination with the up and coming Yankees prospect before because of his absolute mane of red hair that the NYY will ultimately make him chop off because they still think its 1920. But now this comes out that Frazier is legit asking to wear numbers the Yanks have already RETIRED and I’m starting to develop a man crush on a guy who will one day play for the team I despise. A juiced redhead who absolutely mashes the ball. He’s like the Neo of gingers. The one to reset the Matrix of abuse that redheads have taken for decades.

Now this same guy is just pissing on Yankees tradition and asking to wear Mickey Mantle’s number? Love it. Kid probably doesn’t even know who the Mick is. Guy banged Marilyn Monroe, have some respect.

Hilarious lack of self awareness and it probably just makes Yankees fans like the kid less, which I always enjoy. It’s like when A-Rod was hitting 40 dingers with 140 RBIs and all of New York just absolutely loathed the guy. “Still not better than our light hitting shortstop who’s defense should’ve forced him to left field years ago.” Oh Yankees fans, what a bunch of wacky loudmouths.

Bruins Drop Fourth Straight Game; Time to Hit the Panic Button

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Are the Bruins really gonna do this again? Are they really gonna collapse down the stretch and miss the playoffs for the THIRD straight year?

Last night was an embarrassment as they legitimately could not hold a lead for more than 2 minutes. Every time they scored, the Lightning scored. Until the Bruins finally stopped scoring and Tampa Bay just kept right on, tuning them up for their 4th straight loss. That is some shitty hockey, amiright Barry?

Now with 8 games left the Bruins have slipped to the second Wild Card spot. They’re 2 points up on the Islanders as they cling to that final spot. And guess who the Bruins are playing tomorrow night? Yup, the Islanders. So if they lose yet again and blow their fifth straight then the free fall will be complete. The Islanders also have 2 games in hand over the Bruins so that’ll be fun to watch over the next two weeks. Look I did not sign up to do math equations and statistical probability. If I wanted to pretend to do math, I’d go back to playing Pokemon Red on my laptop during Math 110 in college.

Or we could ya know just start winning again and take back the 8 seed from Toronto, but with a loss to them the other night the B’s are now 3 points back and things are looking grim. I had 1/4 season ticket package last year and I swear the Bruins lost probably 8/10 of those games so naturally I didn’t renew. And now for the 3rd straight year we’re on the verge of this shit happening again.

The ONLY thing I ask is that Tuukka stays away from Buff’s Pub for the next 2 weeks because we cannot afford to have him bailing on games over a tummy ache.

Rex Ryan Working for “Free” at ESPN

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PFT – So how much will former Jets and Bills coach Rex Ryan make over the next three years as an employee of ESPN? Probably not a dime. Per a source with knowledge of the situation, Ryan’s contract with the Bills has offset language that applies not only to other coaching jobs but also to broadcasting jobs. Thus, with $5.5 million due to Ryan for each of the next three years, the biggest winners in light of Ryan’s employment at ESPN are owners Terry and Kim Pegula, who will be getting credit for every dollar Ryan earns at ESPN, up to $5.5 million per year.

Well that’s not entirely true. He’s not working for free, but because of a clause in his contract that covers broadcasting jobs as well as other coaching jobs, any money he gets paid over the next couple of years will split the difference with what the Bills owe him.

How about the Pagula’s with the big brain thinking? “Yea, if we shit can you we are 100% more worried about having to still pay you to bullshit on Sunday NFL Countdown than actually landing another coaching job.” Good for Rex though, either way the guy gets paid $5.5 million a year. As a head coach? Meh. As a guy with a mic in his face?

At least this way he can literally say whatever he wants. We gotta get back to the days of “Lets go eat a goddamn snack” Rex. This fat bastard was built to be a TV personality.

Once Dominant Red Sox Reliever Daniel Bard is On the Comeback Tour

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Yahoo! Sports – For a time, Daniel Bard was one of baseball’s most effective and feared relievers. Now the 31-year-old right-hander is scratching and clawing for one more opportunity in the big leagues, which he hopes will come this season with the St. Louis Cardinals.

I admit I had completely forgotten about Daniel Bard. The once heir apparent to the best closer in Red Sox history, Jonathan Papelbon. Guy was absolutely lights out as a setup man and then the Red Sox fucked everything up. Seriously, don’t mess with success.

Remember when the Yankees had the same EXACT situation on their hands with Joba Chamberlain? Guy was an absolutely dominant reliever who was in line to take over as closer for Mariano Rivera. Nope, Yankees tried to move him into the starting rotation and the guy folded. Admittedly he had some sparks of dominance as a starter. I was at a game at Fenway he started and the guy went 7-8 innings and struck out 10. But for whatever reason, his build, his control, his endurance the guy unraveled and was ruined as a pitcher. They had a specific set of rules called the Joba Rules to keep this guy in tact for christ’s sake. Probably not the ideal guy to be messing with his whole workload and mindset. But I digress…

This is the latest team in a long list of teams kicking the tires on Bard. Theo was the first to try and resurrect Bard’s career unsurprisingly, picking him off the scrap heap in 2013 after the Sox placed him on waivers. He signed with the Rangers next season before actually re-signing with the Cubs organization in 2015, signed with the Pirates organization in January 2016 and didn’t even make it to April before getting released. Bard ultimately signed with the Cardinals last year and that’s where the comeback tour rolls on.

Reports say Bard seems to have his control back and is still throwing 96 mph. And this isn’t from some scrub St. Louis reporter, by “reports” I mean that this is coming from Peter Gammons, the human Britannica of baseball himself. So that’s gotta count for something.

With guys like Bard who were absolutely filthy for a short stint and then flamed out just as fast, it always reminds me of the Stellan Skarsgard quote from Good Will Hunting.

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Best of luck, Dan.

Danny Ainge is Wary of Becoming the Knicks By Trading All His Assets and I Can’t Blame Him

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I’m as frustrated as the rest of you that the Celtics didn’t make any trades, not a single move, but at the risk of sounding like a Green Teamer did we really want to blow up our team for another guy? If you believe the rumors of what Larry Legend wanted for Paul George (both Brooklyn picks and 3/4 of Marcus Smart, Jaylen Brown, Avery Bradley and Jae Crowder) then there’s no way in hell you make that deal.

I don’t even need to leave the Atlantic Conference to point out the last blockbuster trade a team gutted their roster to acquire a new stud; the New York Knicks and Carmelo Anthony.

The Knicks sent Wilson Chandler (16.4 ppg that year), Raymond Felton (17.1 ppg that year), Danilo Gallinari (15.9 ppg that year), Timofey Mozgov and a 2014 first-round draft pick and two second-round picks to the Nuggets. All this when Melo was set to become a free agent like 4 months later. So say what you want, but the Knicks did themselves no favors in gutting the roster. “Felton, Gallinari, Mozgov and Chandler were four of New York’s top six players,” this 2011 ESPN article reminds us.

Since making the trade the Knicks have finished:

  • 2011: 36-30 (lost in the 1st round)
  • 2012: 54-28 (lost in the Eastern Conf. semis)
  • 2013: 37-45
  • 2014: 17-65
  • 2015: 32-50

Not great. And with exactly two playoff appearances, never making it past the second round. My point is just taking every asset you have and throwing it against the wall to get one player doesn’t guarantee success. In fact its the main reason Carmelo is so untradeable now, he’s got an albatross of a contract that is weighing down a team’s cap so much that they can’t justify giving up much of any assets for him at all. Oh the irony.

I didn’t mention Boogie Cousins because I 100% wanted him but for whatever reason the Celtics were never in on him. They just flat out did not want the guy. So as shitty as it sounds, Trader Danny will continue to lay in the weeds waiting to bite some unsuspecting GM in the ass. Or the price of Paul George or Jimmy Butler goes down.

PS – Regardless of the fact the Knicks still aren’t any good, that Melo MSG “Coming Home” commercial still absolutely BANGS 6 years later.