Tag: NFL

Lets Gamble! NFL Week 2

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All our betting lines are courtesy of CBS Sports so blame them if the numbers change. Anyways its time to start playing fast and loose with our paychecks now that the NFL season is here. Introducing our new weekly NFL gambling column, LETS GO!

Texans (0-1) at Bengals (0-1), Thursday
Opening line: Bengals, -3 points

I expect a bounce back game from the Bengals, especially with so many Texans players getting hurt on Sunday and of course Brian Cushing will miss the game as he got popped for PEDs again. Not to mention the Texans have a rookie making his first career start on a short week. Take the Bengals and take the points.

Jets (0-1) at Raiders (1-0)
Opening line: Raiders, -14 points

14 points is a TON of points to cover and I just don’t feel confident laying my hard earned cash on the line betting the Raiders win by more than TDs. Look for the Raiders to get ahead and then hand off to Marshawn Lynch all game. Take the Jets to cover.

Browns (0-1) at Ravens (1-0)
Opening line: Ravens, -7.5 points

The Browns actually looked surprisingly competent last week, nearly upsetting the Steelers. Did the Ravens look good last week or did the Bengals really play that bad? Hard to say, especially with the Ravens losing Danny Woodhead last week. I would bet against the Browns putting up solid games in back to back weeks until I see it happen so I’m going with the Ravens to cover here.

Cardinals (0-1) at Colts (0-1)
Opening line: Cardinals, -7.5 points

Holy shit the Colts are even worse than we though and may even be starting former Pats 3rd string QB Jacoby Brissett in this one. The Colts are a full blown disaster without Andrew Luck. Take the Cardinals and enjoy your winnings.

Patriots (0-1) at Saints (0-0)
Opening line: Patriots, -4.5 points

-4.5 points? I would HAMMER the Patriots in this game, there’s no way the Pats don’t win by at least a touchdown coming off that shit show in Week 1 against the Chiefs. Bet the house on it.

Vikings (1-0) at Steelers (1-0)
Opening line: Steelers, -7 points

This is probably the toughest game of the week. Minnesota looked excellent on Monday night and so did Sam Bradford. I think the Vikings keep it close and cover.

Dolphins (0-0) at Chargers (0-1)
Opening line: Chargers, -4 points

Chargers are coming off a 3-point loss to a top defense in Denver while the Dolphins are opening the season with their new QB Jay Cutler. I think Cutler is better than people give him credit for, but its his first game on a new team, lets go with the Chargers to cover.

Titans (0-1) at Jaguars (1-0)
Opening line: Titans, -1 point

I think the Titans and Marcus Mariota in particular bounce back this week, plus with a -1 point spread I’m taking the Titans. The Jags want to play a ball control offense and run it with Leonard Fournette, but I got the Duck this week.

Eagles (1-0) at Chiefs (1-0)
Opening line: Chiefs, -4 points

Nelson Agholor and Carson Wentz both looked to finally be on the same page and had a big week together last week, but after watching the Chiefs stomp the Patriots I’m taking Kansas City here. Alex Smith is not gonna throw for 300+ yards and 4 TDs again, but Kareem Hunt is the real deal. KC covers.

Bears (0-1) at Buccaneers (0-0)
Opening line: Buccaneers, -6 points

The Bears nearly topped the defending Super Bowl loser in the Atlanta Falcons, boosted by rookie Tarik Cohen’s explosive game. -6 points is a lot, but I like the Bucs behind Jameis Winston, Mike Evans and new toy Desean Jackson. Lets go with the Bucs to cover.

Redskins (0-1) at Rams (1-0)
Opening line: Rams, -2.5 points

The Rams looked like a competent offense in Sean McVay’s debut, but they also were playing the god awful Colts in Week 1. The R-words bumbled their way to a loss against the Eagles so I anticipate a bounce back game from them and a big game from Terrell Pryor. R-words cover.

Cowboys (1-0) at Broncos (0-0)
Opening line: Cowboys, -2.5 points

Another tough game to pick, but as long as Zeke keeps dodging that suspension I’m riding the Boys. The Broncos had to eke one out against San Diego last week, so I think the Cowboys cover here.

49ers (0-1) at Seahawks (0-1)
Opening line: Seahawks, -12.5 points

This is gonna be a long season for the 49ers as they embark on a long rebuild. The Seahawks did not look great last week as the offensive line is still a disaster and the musical chairs at RB continue. I think Seattle gets on track this week but 13 points is a big spread, so I’m taking San Fran to cover.

Packers (1-0) at Falcons (1-0)
Opening line: Falcons, -2.5 points

I’m taking the Packers all day on this. Green Bay’s offense looked great in the second half against Seattle last week and the Falcons look primed for a Super Bowl hangover.

Lions (1-0) at Giants (0-1), Monday
Opening line: Giants, -5 points

This all depends on ODB availability. If he’s in the game I’m taking the Giants to cover, but if he’s not I’m taking the Lions to win outright. The G-Men looked hapless without their blonde burner so keep close tabs on that.

Philip Rivers Commutes to LA from San Diego in His $200K SUV. Wait, What?

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Yahoo – Rivers and his wife, Tiffany, decided not to uproot their family (they have eight children, ranging in age from 2 years old to high school freshman), for at least the Chargers’ first year in Los Angeles, with Rivers deciding to see how he could handle the ride. Enter his man cave on wheels. In a story by the San Diego Union-Tribune’s Kevin Acee, we learn that Rivers has invested in a custom SUV – a rolling film room, if you will – that will make his drive to and from work productive.

Hooold the fucking phone, wait a minute, the San Diego Chargers moved to Los Angeles this season, but apparently Philip Rivers did not move with them?

So this dude is making a 2-3 hour commute EACH WAY every day so he can continue to live in San Diego? My uncle’s girlfriend used to commute to Manhattan from fucking Pennsylvania taking planes, trains and buses to get there, but she wasn’t making $14 million per year. I’m pretty sure Phil could find a suitable home a little bit closer to his place of employment.

I guess if you’re a stubborn dude and just want to left alone at your house like we all do, might as well make the most of your commute. And creating an entertainment center to watch “game film” in the backseat ain’t a bad way to spend $200K.

I would love to get taxied to and from work every day, but I’m a poor person so I have to drive myself. But if I could sit in the back and ride along can you imagine the amount of time that would free up for me? I sure as shit wouldn’t be working from the backseat though, I’ll tell ya that. Really putting his ear to the grindstone during rush hour traffic. Phil’s prob just crushing episodes of Narcos back there. LOL celebrities, they really are just like us.

Adrian Peterson Doing His Best to Piss Off His New Coach in Week 1

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Jesus christ, if looks could kill man. Peterson only played 9 snaps in the game rushing for just 18 yards, which he probably wasn’t too happy about, even more so considering he was probably looking for a little revenge against the Vikings. He can clearly be seen on the sidelines yelling “HEY!” at Sean Payton, who finally turns around and puts the fear of god into AP. With one look just reminding him you’re thirty-fucking-two, that team across the field just cut you, you’re my backup runningback, and I can cut you tomorrow.

Welp good to see things are going so great in New Orleans for AP after such a strong training camp risking his life to cultivate mass.

The Best of the NFL from Week 1

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After 7 long months, the NFL is BACK. Don’t worry, I watched all the games so you don’t have to. Sure, we had the Pats game on Thursday, but Sunday marked the first day where you could watch professional football for 10+ hours straight. So that is exactly what I did. A lot of bad games yesterday, but NFL Sunday is like pizza or sex. Even when its bad its good.

The fucking Jets man, they just cannot get out of their own way.

Nelson Agholor with an absolute web gem for the Eagles as they shut down the R-Words.

I would say Tony Romo is probably not a fan of the players sitting for the anthem.

It don’t matter if they’re 16-0 or 0-16, Bills Mafia always shows up to play.

After getting his first career INT called back on a penalty, Deshaun Watson gets his first career TD, looking noticeably more effective than Tom Savage unsurprisingly. Welcome to the league rook.

KAAA MEEE HAAAA MEEE HAAAAA

Just a week after being traded to Indianapolis, and just 3 quarters into Scott Tolzien’s season, the Colts turned to former Patriot, Jacoby Brissett.

Much to the chagrin of my Draftkings lineup, the Rams smoked the Colts and on the way Jared Goff resembled a real NFL quarterback.

Russell Wilson played like horseshit for most of this game against the Packers, but he is still fun to watch, making plays like this.

And your nominee for best catch of the week came on Sunday Night Football. Cole Beasley just putting on a show.

Ep 013 of The 300s Podcast: FOOTBALL IS BACK!

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Don’t close down the grill and certainly don’t stop drinking because yes thats right, FOOTBALL IS BACK. Listen and subscribe to Ep 013 of The 300s Podcast on iTunes. More specifically Football Sundays are back. Sure we had the Pats on Thursday night, but yesterday was the first time we all got to watch football on the couch for 10 straight hours. And it was glorious. In Ep 013 of The 300s Podcast we’re talking Patriots, the rest of the NFL, the Draftkings Ponzi scheme, Fantasy Football, NCAA Football (Baker Mayfield is a bad, bad man) and a Red Sox update (probably still will get swept in the first round). SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES!

Patriots Get Beat Down by Chiefs 42-27 in Season Opener. Highlights, Lowlights, and All the Rest

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In a game that had the fans frothing at the mouth, ready to pounce on the Chiefs, their fans and most of all Roger Goodell, the Patriots couldn’t get the job done and dropped their season opener 42-27. Second year Chiefs receiver Tyreek Hill was an absolute monster as was rookie RB Kareem Hunt who had his way with the Pats defense. The Patriots looked excelling out of the gate, scoring less than 3 minutes into the game. But an failed 4th down conversion on their next drive swung momentum, followed by an overturned Gronk touchdown, some key injuries to the Patriots, and then huge plays down the stretch by the KC skill players and all of that was enough to wipe out the 19-0 dream before I even had my first Shipyard pumpkin beer of the season. On to the highlights, the lowlights, and all the rest.

Highlights

Obviously dropping the 5th Super Bowl champs banner at Gillette was a glorious thing to see, albeit awkwardly brief and to the soundtrack of House of Pain, but despite a shitty loss ya can’t take that banner away.

Brandin Cooks looks to come as advertised, fast as all hell and he is going to be a problem for defenses all year. This guy is going to get legitimately 100 hundred PI calls this season.

Robert Kraft unveiling and rocking his own damn shoe, the RKK Air Force 1.

#OperationClownface and Portnoy dropping F-bombs right in Felger’s face on live TV.

James White absolutely manhandling a Chiefs defender with one hand.

What may be the GOAT picture of Bill Belichick. Fire up the t-shirt machine!

Lowlights

Giving up 300+ yards and 4 touchdowns to THIS fucking guy.

Alex Smith is only the second QB to EVER throw for 300+ yards and 4 TDs on a Belichick defense with the only other being Drew Brees in 2009. That game was also an absolute beatdown in New Orleans that I remember clear as day watching from my college newspaper editors meeting.

The Danny Amendola head injury was devastating because Malcolm Mitchell was put on IR just hours before the game so the Pats were down to just 3 wide receivers in their first game; Brandon Cooks, Chris Hogan, and Philip Dorsett. Amendola is nails, but he needs to be managed because he does get hurt a lot. So naturally the Patriots ran him into the ground, return punts, and take absolute buddy passes over the middle from Brady. Huge loss as he put up a sneaky line of 6 catches for 100 yards before exiting the game. Hopefully he’s not out long because this team needs him right now.

The Dont’a Hightower injury could legitimately wreck the season for a team already dangerously thing in the front seven. Hightower got rolled up on by a lineman in the 3rd quarter and missed the rest of the game. He went into the medical tent and could later be seen riding the stationary bike with a hot pack on his knee, which I don’t know what to make of, but certainly looked like an MCL injury. If he is out for an extended period of time then the defense is really in trouble. Update: PFT is reporting its just a “minor” MCL sprain.

The Pats newest addition to the defense Cassius Marsh got a crash course in how to not cover a runningback out of the backfield as he got smoked for a 74-yard TD reception by Kareem Hunt. To be fair, Marsh was more of a defensive end than a coverage linebacker during his time in Seattle, but still not a great look. Especially not when you have your whole face painted like a goddamn juggalo.

“You want to act like a clown then I’ll treat you like a clown!”

The one thing that does concern me is with Julian Edelman out for the season and a brand new shiny toy in burner Brandon Cooks is that I hope Brady doesn’t try and force too many deep balls each game. Thats exactly what the Patriots were doing in the 4th quarter last night. Obviously they needed two scores to win the game at that point, but just forcing seam routes is never a great option. Gave me cold sweats as it was reminiscent of the end of Super Bowl XLII when Brady was just hucking 40 yard bombs in vain to Randy Moss.

Marcus Cannon getting smoked by Justin Houston was like seeing an old high school friend after years. Not exactly a great thing to see, but its exactly how you remember it.

Rob Gronkowski was getting flanked by one of the best safeties in the league last night in Eric Berry (who may have unfortunately torn his achilles), but as the best TE in the league you gotta make something happen. I thought he did just that on his would be TD catch, but the refs disagreed and overturned the call saying it touched the turf. Huge break for the Chiefs that helped turn the momentum of the game.

Kicking a FG on 4th and inches. Especially after going for it on 4th and 1 earlier (and failing). It was very un-Patriots like, but maybe Bill just knew he wasn’t going to get through that D-line last night as they later got stuffed on another 4th down conversion attempt.

Kareem Hunt setting the goddamn record for most yards from scrimmage for a rookie in his first game. After fumbling on his first career carry, the Spencer Ware backup exploded for 148 yards rushing and 1 TD on the ground with 5 catches for 98 yards and another 2 TDs. Savvy fantasy owners everywhere rejoice.

How about Marky Mark being unable to not promote something for 5 fucking minutes? Wahlberg was wearing some branded t-shirt that just seemed so cheesy. My man, just throw on a TB12 jersey for me one time.

Little bit of both

Mike Gillislee looked great, rushing for 3 touchdowns, but it was definitely disappointing to see him get stuffed on 4th and short on two separate occasions. For our goal line guy, you gotta have those.

It looked like the Patriots weren’t exactly dying to have Tom Brady smash his head into a wall in Week 1 as they decided against the QB sneak on 4th and inches. Instead electing to go with Gillislee again, who got stuffed. Very odd to see because Brady is essentially automatic from that spot.

The Pats special teams unit frustratingly (and hilariously) refusing to not absolutely smoke the Chiefs punter. Thankfully it was a long 4th down conversion as the Pats ran into the kicker on two consecutive plays to earn a 5 yard penalty each time. Almost seemed intentional, maybe they just don’t like the guy.

Now I gotta listen to shit like this all over again.

No, no he’s not. Lets give him more than one game with a new offensive scheme and see how things go. Brady was far from great last night going 16/36 for 267 yards with 0 TD’s, but if anything I’m putting this L on the defense.

So whats the silver lining?

Its one bad game. This same exact thing happened two years ago against the same exact team and everyone was more than happy to dance on the Patriots graves.

Then what happened? The Pats came back and anihilated the Bengals and then went on to win the Super Bowl. So lets all pump the breaks. Bad games aren’t concerning. Trends are concerning. So if they get trounced next week by the Saints, then we can talk.

 

Shout Out to Vince Wilfork for Skipping his Gillette Tailgate BBQ to Help Hurricane Harvey Victims in Houston

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247 Sports – Vince Wilfork will not be in New England for his retirement tailgate. The former Patriots nose tackled retired from the NFL earlier this offseason and in his announcement teased a big tailgate party in the Gillette Stadium parking lot as he partnered up with Kingsford to send off his career in the league. However, Wilfork announced on social media that he’ll no longer be in the region for the tailgate or the opener as he’s elected to stay in Houston to help those impacted by Hurricane Harvey. “It’s one of those things when Mother Nature calls, it calls,” he said in a video expressing his desire to help.

I was so damn excited for Vince Wilfork’s retirement BBQ tailgate party. It looked like it was gonna be a blast with the big man grilling and smoking meats with the best of em before the Pats start their Super Bowl defense.

But in true Big Vince fashion, Wilfork knew he could do more good by helping out down in Texas after that sonofabitch Harvey did its best to smash Houston.

So good for Wilfork realizing whats really important and doing what he can to help out in the only other city he’s ever known as an NFL player.

Do your thing Vince, but please we gotta see a tailgate BBQ later this season. Need to see those overalls in Foxborough.

The Patriots are Back Tonight to Light the Biggest Fire the North Has Ever Seen

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LETS GOOO. LETS GOOO. Your Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots are back tonight after 7 months without football. Tonight they’re gonna light the biggest fire the north has ever seen.

The last time we saw this team they were lifting the Lombardi Trophy after completing the greatest comeback in NFL history and giving Roger Goodell and the league a gigantic middle finger. As Robert Kraft once said, this one is unequivocally the sweetest.

The Pats had to literally redesign the goddamn stadium to make room for Super Bowl Champs banner No. 5. That is preposterous and tonight we get to see Tom Brady and the boys drop another banner on the rest of the NFL.

It sucks that we lost Julian Edelman for the year with a knee injury, but this team is still stacked. We’ve got Gronk back, added Brandon Cooks, and brought in Rex Burkhead and Mike Gillislee. Another year in the system for Chris Hogan and Malcolm Mitchell. Dion Lewis, Danny Amendola, Dont’a Hightower, Malcolm Butler, Devin McCourty, Stephon Gilmore, GET OFF THE TRACKS BECAUSE THE TRAIN IS LEAVING THE STATION.

We’re on to Minneaposix. See ya in February.

The Patriots Just Teased the RKK Air Force 1 and I am Giddy

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Name another professional sports team owner that has his own shoe. Don’t worry I’ll wait. What an absolute boss Robert Kraft is. We always knew he was a sneaker guy as he was usually seen rocking some fresh kicks with his suits, but I didn’t know the full extent of it until he did this piece with Complex last year.

Now I can only imagine the gems RKK has planned for this year. Air Force 1’s that “commemorate Super Bowl LI.” May have to just blow off work tomorrow and hop in my car so I can jet down to Patriot Place and grab a pair.

Las Vegas Boldly Predicts the 2007 Patriots Would Beat the 2017 Patriots Head to Head

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ESPN – The 2017 New England Patriots are the overwhelming favorites across Las Vegas to repeat as Super Bowl champions, but are they better in bookmakers’ eyes than the 2007 team? ESPN spoke with seven Vegas bookmakers and asked them to make a line in a hypothetical matchup between the two teams. Six of the seven had the ’07 team favored, with lines ranging from “a small favorite” (William Hill US) to 11 points (Frank Kunovic at Caesars).

Well, no shit. The 2007 Patriots went 16-0…and then I don’t really remember the rest…but they legit didn’t lose a single game in the regular season, routinely BLOWING teams out, all while setting multiple offensive records along the way. That squad vs the 2017 team that hasn’t even played a single game together? I mean who would you take? Not to mention we have players dropping like flies and our front-7 is starting to resemble swiss cheese.

But this is exactly why video games exist. Just putting old school juggernauts against the latest and greatest. NBA2K is awesome for that exact reason. Putting Larry Bird and the Celtics against Steph Curry and the 2018 Warriors. Or playing the Shaq and Kobe Lakers against Bill Russell. I don’t know if this year’s Madden has Classic Teams like it used to, but if it does, this 2007 Pats vs 2017 Pats matchup *needs* to happen. Not only that, it needs to be played out in traditional, painstakingly full 15-minute quarters. If thats still an option then that will be my cross to bear.

Imagine Malcom Butler trying to shut down 2007 Randy Moss who had 23 touchdowns that year? Or 2017 Tom Brady trying to rifle in some slants through that forest of Tedy Bruschi, Junior Seau, Vince Wilfork et al? Now that would be a goddamn game and that is why Twitch is a billion dollar business.