Tag: Patriots

New T-Shirt Alert! Chris Long With an All-Time Quote

By on • ( Leave a comment )

the300s_chrislongshirtfront

ESPN – “Look, I get it, there’s a playoff beard thing. But I decided I wanted a mustache this week,” Long said Wednesday morning with a touch of humor. “It might be there next week, it might not. I’m the captain of my destiny.”…”I get to decide what facial hair [I have]. People on the Internet were like ‘Dude, where’s your [beard]? and I was like, ‘Really? Is that like a prerequisite? Sorry, I do playoff mustache.”

What an absolute all-time quote here from Chris Long. And it makes perfect sense too. Playoff Beard? Why? Because everyone else does that. No way. Playoff Mustache. When you zig, Chris Long zags. Had to do it. T-shirts for all.

<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet” data-lang=”en”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>&quot;There’s a playoff beard thing, but I decided I wanted a mustache…I’m the captain of my destiny.” – DE Chris Long <a href=”https://t.co/GgaflrA8YA”>pic.twitter.com/GgaflrA8YA</a></p>&mdash; Mike Reiss (@MikeReiss) <a href=”https://twitter.com/MikeReiss/status/816683478397964288″>January 4, 2017</a></blockquote>
//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Rating Yahoo’s Rankings of the Best Possible Patriots Super Bowl Matchups

By on • ( Leave a comment )

sblilogo

So I’ll save you the pain of imagining a Texans-Cowboys Super Bowl matchup, which Yahoo’s Shutdown Corner had ranked as the worst possible game. Four of the top 5 and 5 of the top 7 potential matchups are all Patriots games too. Who says people don’t wanna see another Pats SB? To the ratings!

7. Patriots – Giants: “Third time’s gotta be a charm, right Pats fans?”

Rating: A+ // This game would be the granddaddy of them all. I would be living off adrenaline and anxiety for two weeks straight leading up to this game. I need to beat the Giants in a Super Bowl more than I need oxygen. It’s like acid in my mouth. Buuuttt, Playoffs Eli scares the shit out of me for obvious reasons and I don’t think I can emotionally handle a 3rd straight SB loss to the Giants. But there coach has a mustache and looks like he’s on a list somewhere so maybe things are different this time. Tread carefully.

benmcadoo

5. Patriots – Seahawks: “Seattle isn’t what it’s been in the past, but it beat New England in Foxborough this season and Super Bowl 49 was an absolute classic. We’ll gladly roll the dice on another round.”

Rating: B+ // This would be another great matchup, the rematch of arguably the best Super Bowl ever with (not arguable) the greatest ending ever. Part of me worries the Seahawks get their revenge, but the last 5 times the Pats have played Seattle have gone: Loss (2016 reg season), Win (SB XLIX), Loss (2012 reg season), Win (2008 reg season). Soo science says the Patriots win this one.

butlersbint

shermansb

4. Patriots – Falcons: “This matchup might not be at the front of everyone’s mind, but it has just as much potential for a great game with the league’s top scoring defense (New England) trying to harness the league’s top scoring offense (Atlanta).”

Rating: C+ // I want to rank this higher, but every angle that the media will play to hype this game seem forced. Thomas Dmitroff left NE, built this Atlanta team and is now going against his former boss Bill Belichick, Former Boston College stud Matt Ryan going up against the Boston pro team etc. However it would be pretty interesting to see the NFL’s No. 1 scoring offense (ATL) vs the NFL’s No. 1 scoring defense (NE) and see who takes the title.

patriotsfalcons

3. Patriots – Packers: “Tom Brady vs. Aaron Rodgers. What more do you need?”

Rating: B- // Yahoo somehow did not mention a SB XXXI rematch?? (Still the best SB logo ever BTW) Belichick was just a young pup in 1996, the assistant coach under Bill Parcells. Think Belichick would love to beat the same franchise his mentor and boss couldn’t? Plus Brady vs Rodgers would indeed be a matchup made in Madden exhibition mode.

sbxxxi

1. Patriots – Cowboys: “Yes, Super Bowl media week would be insane and there’s no way anyone is running out of storylines with Jerry Jones around. But take away the hoopla that would cause TV ratings records to be smashed and we’re still left with a game between two teams that were the best in the NFL from wire to wire this year. If this matchup happens, it’ll be the fourth straight Super Bowl that the No. 1 seeds meet in the Super Bowl.”

Rating: B+ // The two biggest franchises in the NFL. America’s Team vs the Team That Invented America. The parallels are crazy too. A young QB stepping in for the injured veteran, playing so well he keeps the job and leads his team to a Super Bowl title. Shit, no I don’t like the way this is setting up. Luckily the Pats run defense is their strength because Ezekiel Elliot could dominate this game single handedly. In the end though I think Brady and co. make it a track meet and I don’t think Dak Prescott, as well as he’s played, is ready to win that kind of game yet.

Does Chip Kelly Firing Pave the Way for Him as the Next Patriots Offensive Coordinator?

By on • ( 1 Comment )

chipkelly

Black Monday came early this year with several coaches getting axed, some more deserving than others (looking at you Gus Bradley w/ the 14-48 record). Among those was Chip Kelly who got fired after just one year as the 49ers head coach. The 49ers are starting over again after the abortion that was the Jim Tomsula 12 month era. Props to the reporter for asking the owner why he shouldn’t be fired himself and drawing this hilariously tone-deaf response:

On the other end of the spectrum we have Josh McDaniels who is getting tons of interest from other teams (which I touched on a few weeks back) as a head coach. It would seem like McD is probably as good as gone, leaving a big void in the Patriots staff.

With all the history Bill Belichick and Chip Kelly have, it doesn’t take a huge leap to see BB inviting him to come join the best team in the league. These guys go back a long way as they’ve always seemed to admire the other’s football innovations. Back when Chip was at Oregon, Belichick would regularly have him in to talk shop. And it wasn’t just for show, you regularly saw the Pats adopting offensive philosophies made popular by the run n gun Oregon Ducks. The 70+ plays a game running the no huddle almost exclusively throughout the game being the primary one. Lining up for a 2 pt conversion, to test the defense, only to audible back into a traditional extra point FG formation. A lot of things designed to keep the defense on its toes all game long. Now theres finally an opening for the two to work together?

Its a perfect scenario for Chip, who has repeatedly said he doesn’t want to go back to coaching in college. He gets to right his own ship by learning under the best coach in the NFL while also working with the best QB in the league. It’s tough to blame him for the 49ers lack of success this year with that disaster of a roster (49ers GM got canned too).

I always held out hope that Chip would continue to run Oregon, win a couple national championships until Belichick decided he wanted to retire and hand the keys to his buddy Chip.

Now the only thing standing in the way is actual historical precedent. Belichick almost always promotes from within. Matt Patricia, Josh McDaniels, Bill O’Brien, all the way back to Eric Mangini. It seems BB prefers to hire young guys, mold them to the system and then slowly promote them up the ranks. He rarely brings in a big name from outside the organization. Hell I remember a few years back the Patritots intentionally didn’t even have a defensive coordinator. Bill just left the role vacant and had his staff of younger coaches act as assistants while he took over a larger role in play calling.

So thats probably the most likely scenario if McDaniels does in fact take a HC job; we’ll see Chip potentially come in as an offensive assistant/analyst. Quack. Quack.

duckchips

 

RIP Rex Ryan; the Guy That Revived the Patriots Jets Rivalry

By on • ( Leave a comment )

rexandroboverniagra

After 8 years as a Head Coach, all in the AFC East, Rex just got canned by Buffalo from his second HC gig less than 2 seasons in. Is this the end of Rex as a head coach? It very well might be. He’s obviously gonna have multiple high paying offers to do TV next season. The guy is wildly entertaining with a bunch of catch phrases spawned from his time on Hard Knocks.

*or as this guy on YouTube savagely titled the same video: “Disgusting Fat Pig Jets coach talks about food during speech”

I don’t know if he has the piss and vinegar to say “fuck you guys I’m a head coach” and hunt for a HC job. I did laugh out loud though at the ESPN update announcing the move: “Rex Ryan fired by Bills…Rob Ryan also relieved of his duties.” Uhh yea, you’re fired…and take your fucking brother with you.

robryan

I just think the guy is a prototypical coordinator. Highly knowledgeable in one area, pretty loose, gets along with the players etc. But he hasn’t been able to put it all together. Now a lot of head coaches in the NFL specialize on just one side of the ball and will defer to their coordinators while they act as more of a CEO of the team, but that ain’t Rex.

So if this is the end for Rex, I will miss you dearly. This guy singlehandedly revived the Patriots/Jets rivalry. He built a roster of hateable, mouthy assholes that competed with and beat the Pats on a few big occasions. I’ll always remember the bitter, bitter humble pie after the loss to the Jets in the 2010 playoffs, which I never saw coming because of the 45-3 thrashing of them in the regular season. Those games were heated. The Jets were finally good enough to legitimately threaten the Pats. Rex’s Jets were ultimately brought down by a mediocre offense lead by the immortal Mark Sanchez (never forget the 3 INT game from LEIGH BODDEN), but from like 2009-2011 this was a rivalry again with palpable hate between the fan bases. I still take great joy in mocking the Jets fans and their 09-10 BACK TO BACK AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME APPEARANCES. Sounds like a shitty Colts banner.

coltsbanner

I think that heated rivalry ended though when the Patriots put a bullet in Fireman Ed and the entire Jets franchise on national TV with the Butt Fumble beatdown on Thanksgiving 2012. Best football game I’ve ever been to still to this day.

PS – Is it just me or was Fireman Ed the worst firefighter ever? What, are there no fires on Sunday, Ed? I mean, I don’t want to be cliche, but you know what Belichick would say to the guy?

doyourjob

 

 

Hot Take Alert: The 2016 Patriots Defense is Good Enough to Win the Super Bowl

By on • ( Leave a comment )

screen-shot-2016-12-27-at-9-15-27-pm

I’m just gonna go ahead and say it; the 2016 Patriots defense is good enough to win the Super Bowl. I know thats not a popular opinion on Contrarian FM Sports Talk Radio. Its even sacrilegious to suggest this if you hear the nonsense from Shank and his super fresh “Tomato Cans” take. I swear to christ if I hear the term Tomato Cans from Shank one more time I am just gonna snap.

imgonnasnap

But you wanna get nuts? Lets get nuts and look at the numbers. The Patriots defense has allowed 33 points less than any other team this season.  They’re 8th in Total Yards Allowed and Yards per Game, 3rd in Rushing Yards Allowed and Rushing Yards per Game, and 1st in Points Allowed with 15.7 pts allowed per game. 15.7!

Now they’re 14th in Passing Yards Allowed and Passing Yards per Game, but they are routinely up on other teams and forcing them to throw (which can also help boost the rushing yards total), but even with that being true they’re still giving up less than 16 a game.

They’re also 3rd in Takeaway Differential, which is a great indicator of team success. The top 5 in Takeaway Differential goes, in order, Oakland (No. 2 seed in the AFC), Kansas City (Wildcard w/ potential to jump to the No. 2 seed), Atlanta (No. 2 seed in the NFC), the Pats and then the walking anomaly that is the Bills (RIP Rex).

So you can point to 3rd down conversion percentage, opposing QB Rating, or Yards per play. But at the end of the day the defense is playing well enough. Are they the 2002 Ravens? Fuck no. But they don’t need to be. With a healthy McCourty, Butler, Hightower and the defensive line playing well this defense is good enough. And thats all the Patriots need to win a title. Was it a lot easier with a shutdown corner like Darrelle Revis in the secondary? Sure, but that guy’s making 20 million a year to be a goddamn welfare recipient in NYC right now. So I’m not saying the Pats can win a lot of games 10-3, but with TB12 under center a defense like this should get the job done.

See ya in Houston!

The NFL Combine is Now Open to the Public and I Need to Go

By on • ( Leave a comment )

richeisennflcombine

Yahoo – The NFL reportedly is opening the doors to the NFL combine to fans to get a look behind the curtain at how the biggest pre-draft event works. But the question we have: Once they see it, will they ever want to again? The league is allowing 6,000 fans to witness events such as the 40-yard dash and the bench press, along with prospect interviews, for the combine, which runs March 2-5 at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis.

YES. Yes I want to go see this. Are you kidding me? Get a chance to see the Westminster Dog Show in person, count me in. All kidding aside this could make for a long day, but what better way to legitimately understand what freaks of nature these athletes are than seeing them workout in person.

It also seems like the perfect opportunity to take your shithead friend who played D2 football and still things he has a shot at the League. Witness a dude bench 222 lbs 30 times or run a 4.3 40-yard dash as a 6’2″ freak of nature. Now that is some shit that would be entertaining.

Or who knows, maybe you hit the jackpot and get to witness greatness:

But seriously count me in. Any bullshit sporting event I am always in. Arena Football, UFL (Daunte Culpepper shredded it up in Hartford), NLL Lacrosse inside a CASINO, the list goes on and on.

Still my biggest regret in life though was being too young to fly out for an NFL Europa game and see Rohan Davey rip 70 yard throws in Berlin.

rohandaveynfleuropa

Book the flights!

DeflateGate 2 Doesn’t Look Like Anything to Me: Is Roger Goodell a Westworld Host?

By on • ( Leave a comment )

bernard_doesntlooklikeanythingtome
“Doesn’t look like anything to me. – Bernard” – Roger Goodell

Is Roger Goodell actually a Host straight out of Westworld? Show him something that should make his brain freak out, like another team deflating footballs, and he DOESN’T EVEN REACT.

doesntlooklikeanythingtome

Deflategate 2 is the exact same situation as the original Deflategate. One team playing another in cold weather complains to the league that the other team’s footballs may be a little under-inflated. In the original situation, the NFL lets speculation run rampant as the alleged offending team is immediately swallowed up by accusations, false reports and misinformation. The NFL eventually decides to fund a multi-million dollar investigation that doesn’t ultimately prove anything, yet the commissioner of the league says its all about the integrity of the league. Nothing is more important than the integrity of the shield. Said offending team is tried under the assumption of guilt (“more likely than not” was the term) and one of the greatest players in league history is suspended a quarter of the season and the team is fined multiple draft picks.

Flash forward to 2016 and nearly the same situation occurs. The integrity of the league is in peril! The NFL must, at the very least, conduct an investigation to *appear* to be concerned and looking into the issue.

Nope.

Same situation and the league immediately sweeps it under the rug in under an hour. No investigation. No silence while the critics pile on the accused team with incorrect information. The NFL immediately squashes it this time around. And its the same situation, which leads me to believe Goodell is actually a Host.

goodellsouthparkgif

He’s been programmed to not even see the issue this time around. Brain wiped. Until there are some reveries, where Goodell may have an absolute meltdown a la Dolores’s father.

 

These violent delights have violent ends.

 

 

 

Patriots Pull Out 30-23 Win Over the Ravens: The Good and the Bad

By on • ( Leave a comment )

bradyyelling

A quick breakdown of the Patriots 30-23 win over the Ravens last night, which featured a lot of good (Tom Brady) and a lot of bad. All in all, an impressive win over the best defense in the NFL.

The Good

  • Tom Brady: Brady was at his finest last night. Hyped up, pissed off and shredding the defense. 3 Touchdowns and 400+ passing yards against the No. 1 defense in the NFL. Pretty, pretty, pretty good. That touchdown to Malcolm Mitchell in the Red Zone was an absolute missile in a window the size of a coast and is a throw most QB’s probably don’t even try. Also, getting on Edelman and Chris hogan to get their shit together after a less than ideal start seemed to really give those guys a much needed kick in the ass.
    tombradypissed
  • Chris Hogan: Hogan earned his excellent nickname 7-11 last night as he really was open all day. Seemed like Brady had to give him a little shit to get back on the field after hurting his hand early in the game, but its hard to argue with 5 catches for 129 yards and a TD. That 79 yard TD was money as Hogan seems to have another gear in the open field I didn’t even know about.
    chrishogan
  • Martellus Bennett’s Health: This was huge last night after there were reports circulating that Marty was less than 100%, which is a scary thing to hear with Gronk done for the year. If Bennett goes down or can’t get the job done then the Pats are probably screwed with zero tight end presence. But Bennett looked great last night especially one his nearly 1 handed TD catch when the defender was draped all over him and Bennett ripped the ball off the guy and held on for the score. Plus the 3 TE set on play action where Bennett lined up in the middle of the other two “tight ends” and slipped into an opening for an easy first down. Great sign.
  • Special Teams: That blocked field goal by Shane McClellin was an absolute thing of beauty. Perfectly timed, incredibly athletic play by a prototypical Bill Belichick guy; a former top pick he peeled off the scrap heap of another team for peanuts. Great play against the best kicker in the league who was the only kicker in the NFL to not miss a kick yet. Jamie Collins who? And the punt coverage unit was on fire as well. Downing a punt at the 1 yard line leading to the safety, which put the Pats on the board and set the tone for the whole game.

The Bad

  • Special Teams: Holy shit talk about a Jekyll and Hyde performance from the special teams last night. They were absolutely carrying the Pats in the beginning of the game. All of Twitter was gleefully ripping off tweets about how special teams is 1/3 of the game and just as important. Then a couple fumbled punts later and suddenly the Pats are only up a field goal. I’ve never seen a BB special teams unit that hot and cold in the *same game* Thankfully TB12 saved the day, but relying too much on Brady is what has usually killed the Pats in the past. Brady has a slightly off day and the rest of the team can’t pick up the slack. Something to keep an eye on.
  • Cyrus Jones: Jesus christ, this kid is shook. Last night he could not get out of his own way and now has FOUR fumbled punts on the year. It’s clearly a mental thing, but its at the point now he just cannot be trusted back there. I also don’t get why the insist on putting him as a PR, apparently he only has 12 career punt returns in college. Maybe it was just me being dumb, but I was lead to believe he was some kind of PR specialist? Either way, hopefully he can make an impact as a depth safety because right now he is looking like a real bungle of a 2nd round pick.
    cyrusjonesfumble
  • Linebackers Covering RBs Out of the Backfield: Said it last night and I’ll say it again; the Patriots are the only team that can give up a 40 yard screen play to a freakin full back and it doesn’t shock me. They just cannot cover running backs out of the backfield and that is a huge issue heading into the playoffs. This is where a guy like Collins would have been valuable, they just don’t really have the speed to cover guys coming out of the backfield on screens. Giving up 40 to a fullback is an embarrassment though and is probably a bigger reflection of poor tackling than anything else. This could be their potential undoing in the playoffs. Woof.
    ravensjuz

Does the Firing of Jeff Fisher Pave the Way for Josh McDaniels as the Next HC of the Los Angeles Rams?

By on • ( 1 Comment )

josh-mcdaniels1

So after getting smoked by the Falcons on Sunday the Rams would have to win out to even be lucky enough to have “7-9 bullshit.” With Fisher suddenly out as the Rams coach there is now an opening in Southern California, with a new stadium coming, a huge market, the 2016 No. 1 overall pick at QB and an opportunity to really build a franchise.

isthatsomethingyoumightbeinterestedin

I know there have been reports this season saying that Josh McDaniels is indeed interested in head coach openings. So does this pave the way for McDaniels to leave the Pats and head for LA? With another deep playoff run and an already strong body of work running offenses obviously through Brady, but also Jimmy Garoppolo and Jacoby Brissett this season McDaniels seems to be lining himself up nicely for a new gig.

McDaniels was definitely humbled by his flameout in Denver (great story by Bleacher Report on those lessons he learned here) and already has some familiarity with the Rams, albeit in St. Louis, having been their offensive coordinator in 2011. All before coming back to the Patriots as an offensive assistant and then once again as the OC after Bill O’Brien took the Texans HC job. So its not a stretch to make the connection. And while I’d love to have McD stick around, it doesn’t look like Bill Belichick is going anywhere any time soon. So can you really fault the guy?

lapalmtrees

This may be the best job opening in the NFL. Usually when a job opens up its in a shit market like Cleveland, which I think McDaniels has made obvious he does not want to do. He’s also gotta be real careful what situation he ultimately decides to go with because this will probably be his last shot to show he can be a successful head coach in this league. So it really comes down to Jared Goff, who has looked absolutely abysmal in his brief experience as a starting QB. Does McDaniels believe he can work with Goff and make him a star? Because if he does, take the job. If not, he may want to rethink it. But this is the same guy who helped get the Pats to 11 wins with Matt Cassel and had a record of 3-1 with 2nd and 3rd string QB’s this season.

Who the hell wouldn’t want this job?

britneyla

 

DeflateGate 2 Was Over Before It Started as Hypocrisy in the NFL Wins Again

By on • ( Leave a comment )

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

What a bunch of goddamn hypocrites the NFL is. To quote Brand New, “The Devil and God are raging inside me.” I was listening to WEEI this morning and Kirk Minihane was asking why aren’t Patriots fans more fired up about this bullshit from the league and let me tell you, I’m getting there. But I think people are just beat down. You can’t fight city hall.

All the shit the Patriots went through over the past 2 years, citing process, citing pretense, citing SCIENCE, as for why DeflateGate was much ado about nothing. And it didn’t matter, the NFL crushed us. ESPN crushed us. Mark Brunell was crying on SportsCenter for christ’s sake.

mark-brunell-012215-getty-ftr_1395pmtr2kuab1k20hud14t487

When in reality the appropriate response to what allegedly happened is exactly what we witnessed yesterday. A complaint from a team reported by Jay Glazer, a little rumbling on Twitter and then the NFL promptly stamping it out saying nothing to see here. No misinformation. No leaving the team to twist in the wind while false reports pile up. No ESPN roundtables. So I think people are absolutely pissed, we just could not be less surprised. And I think thats what takes a lot of venom out of people.

But its shit like this that drives me absolutely bananas.

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
I’m sure this was said tongue in cheek, but thats the exact issue. He’s joking about it and nobody cares. Remember how Brady denied any wrongdoing and he got DESTROYED by everyone. Now Mike Tomlin refuses to comment on it, saying theres nothing to it. And no one bats an eye. And don’t give me the “he’s got no prior incidents” response. Does anybody remember this?

miketomlintripping

miketomlinsmiling

I doubt it. And thats why people aren’t calling up yelling and screaming on the radio. Because the Patriots were screwed and the PSI of balls was never the issue.

Rooney. Mara. Jones. Just wait guys, sooner or later one of these shit storms will blow up on you…and there will be no one left to speak for you. In the meantime, the Patriots will keep rolling on the way to Super Bowl title number 5; one for the thumb.

Success is the best revenge.