Tag: Robert Kraft

Patriots Get Beat Down by Chiefs 42-27 in Season Opener. Highlights, Lowlights, and All the Rest

By on • ( Leave a comment )

In a game that had the fans frothing at the mouth, ready to pounce on the Chiefs, their fans and most of all Roger Goodell, the Patriots couldn’t get the job done and dropped their season opener 42-27. Second year Chiefs receiver Tyreek Hill was an absolute monster as was rookie RB Kareem Hunt who had his way with the Pats defense. The Patriots looked excelling out of the gate, scoring less than 3 minutes into the game. But an failed 4th down conversion on their next drive swung momentum, followed by an overturned Gronk touchdown, some key injuries to the Patriots, and then huge plays down the stretch by the KC skill players and all of that was enough to wipe out the 19-0 dream before I even had my first Shipyard pumpkin beer of the season. On to the highlights, the lowlights, and all the rest.

Highlights

Obviously dropping the 5th Super Bowl champs banner at Gillette was a glorious thing to see, albeit awkwardly brief and to the soundtrack of House of Pain, but despite a shitty loss ya can’t take that banner away.

Brandin Cooks looks to come as advertised, fast as all hell and he is going to be a problem for defenses all year. This guy is going to get legitimately 100 hundred PI calls this season.

Robert Kraft unveiling and rocking his own damn shoe, the RKK Air Force 1.

#OperationClownface and Portnoy dropping F-bombs right in Felger’s face on live TV.

James White absolutely manhandling a Chiefs defender with one hand.

What may be the GOAT picture of Bill Belichick. Fire up the t-shirt machine!

Lowlights

Giving up 300+ yards and 4 touchdowns to THIS fucking guy.

Alex Smith is only the second QB to EVER throw for 300+ yards and 4 TDs on a Belichick defense with the only other being Drew Brees in 2009. That game was also an absolute beatdown in New Orleans that I remember clear as day watching from my college newspaper editors meeting.

The Danny Amendola head injury was devastating because Malcolm Mitchell was put on IR just hours before the game so the Pats were down to just 3 wide receivers in their first game; Brandon Cooks, Chris Hogan, and Philip Dorsett. Amendola is nails, but he needs to be managed because he does get hurt a lot. So naturally the Patriots ran him into the ground, return punts, and take absolute buddy passes over the middle from Brady. Huge loss as he put up a sneaky line of 6 catches for 100 yards before exiting the game. Hopefully he’s not out long because this team needs him right now.

The Dont’a Hightower injury could legitimately wreck the season for a team already dangerously thing in the front seven. Hightower got rolled up on by a lineman in the 3rd quarter and missed the rest of the game. He went into the medical tent and could later be seen riding the stationary bike with a hot pack on his knee, which I don’t know what to make of, but certainly looked like an MCL injury. If he is out for an extended period of time then the defense is really in trouble. Update: PFT is reporting its just a “minor” MCL sprain.

The Pats newest addition to the defense Cassius Marsh got a crash course in how to not cover a runningback out of the backfield as he got smoked for a 74-yard TD reception by Kareem Hunt. To be fair, Marsh was more of a defensive end than a coverage linebacker during his time in Seattle, but still not a great look. Especially not when you have your whole face painted like a goddamn juggalo.

“You want to act like a clown then I’ll treat you like a clown!”

The one thing that does concern me is with Julian Edelman out for the season and a brand new shiny toy in burner Brandon Cooks is that I hope Brady doesn’t try and force too many deep balls each game. Thats exactly what the Patriots were doing in the 4th quarter last night. Obviously they needed two scores to win the game at that point, but just forcing seam routes is never a great option. Gave me cold sweats as it was reminiscent of the end of Super Bowl XLII when Brady was just hucking 40 yard bombs in vain to Randy Moss.

Marcus Cannon getting smoked by Justin Houston was like seeing an old high school friend after years. Not exactly a great thing to see, but its exactly how you remember it.

Rob Gronkowski was getting flanked by one of the best safeties in the league last night in Eric Berry (who may have unfortunately torn his achilles), but as the best TE in the league you gotta make something happen. I thought he did just that on his would be TD catch, but the refs disagreed and overturned the call saying it touched the turf. Huge break for the Chiefs that helped turn the momentum of the game.

Kicking a FG on 4th and inches. Especially after going for it on 4th and 1 earlier (and failing). It was very un-Patriots like, but maybe Bill just knew he wasn’t going to get through that D-line last night as they later got stuffed on another 4th down conversion attempt.

Kareem Hunt setting the goddamn record for most yards from scrimmage for a rookie in his first game. After fumbling on his first career carry, the Spencer Ware backup exploded for 148 yards rushing and 1 TD on the ground with 5 catches for 98 yards and another 2 TDs. Savvy fantasy owners everywhere rejoice.

How about Marky Mark being unable to not promote something for 5 fucking minutes? Wahlberg was wearing some branded t-shirt that just seemed so cheesy. My man, just throw on a TB12 jersey for me one time.

Little bit of both

Mike Gillislee looked great, rushing for 3 touchdowns, but it was definitely disappointing to see him get stuffed on 4th and short on two separate occasions. For our goal line guy, you gotta have those.

It looked like the Patriots weren’t exactly dying to have Tom Brady smash his head into a wall in Week 1 as they decided against the QB sneak on 4th and inches. Instead electing to go with Gillislee again, who got stuffed. Very odd to see because Brady is essentially automatic from that spot.

The Pats special teams unit frustratingly (and hilariously) refusing to not absolutely smoke the Chiefs punter. Thankfully it was a long 4th down conversion as the Pats ran into the kicker on two consecutive plays to earn a 5 yard penalty each time. Almost seemed intentional, maybe they just don’t like the guy.

Now I gotta listen to shit like this all over again.

No, no he’s not. Lets give him more than one game with a new offensive scheme and see how things go. Brady was far from great last night going 16/36 for 267 yards with 0 TD’s, but if anything I’m putting this L on the defense.

So whats the silver lining?

Its one bad game. This same exact thing happened two years ago against the same exact team and everyone was more than happy to dance on the Patriots graves.

Then what happened? The Pats came back and anihilated the Bengals and then went on to win the Super Bowl. So lets all pump the breaks. Bad games aren’t concerning. Trends are concerning. So if they get trounced next week by the Saints, then we can talk.

 

The Patriots are Back Tonight to Light the Biggest Fire the North Has Ever Seen

By on • ( 2 Comments )

LETS GOOO. LETS GOOO. Your Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots are back tonight after 7 months without football. Tonight they’re gonna light the biggest fire the north has ever seen.

The last time we saw this team they were lifting the Lombardi Trophy after completing the greatest comeback in NFL history and giving Roger Goodell and the league a gigantic middle finger. As Robert Kraft once said, this one is unequivocally the sweetest.

The Pats had to literally redesign the goddamn stadium to make room for Super Bowl Champs banner No. 5. That is preposterous and tonight we get to see Tom Brady and the boys drop another banner on the rest of the NFL.

It sucks that we lost Julian Edelman for the year with a knee injury, but this team is still stacked. We’ve got Gronk back, added Brandon Cooks, and brought in Rex Burkhead and Mike Gillislee. Another year in the system for Chris Hogan and Malcolm Mitchell. Dion Lewis, Danny Amendola, Dont’a Hightower, Malcolm Butler, Devin McCourty, Stephon Gilmore, GET OFF THE TRACKS BECAUSE THE TRAIN IS LEAVING THE STATION.

We’re on to Minneaposix. See ya in February.

Celtics Continue the Trend and Blowout Wizards. Now One Win Away from Eastern Conference Finals

By on • ( Leave a comment )


It really is insane how neither the Celtics nor the Wizards can win a game against each other unless they’re at home. For whatever reason these teams are both 9-0 against each other when at home and 0-9 when on the road this season. And its not even close.

  • Game 1 (Celtics at home)
    • Celtics 123 – Wizards 111
  • Game 2 (Celtics at home)
    • Celtics 129 -Wizards 119 (OT)
  • Game 3 (Wizards at home)
    • Celtics 89 -Wizards 116
  • Game 4 (Wizards at home)
    • Celtics 102 -Wizards 121
  • Game 5 (Celtics at home)
    • Celtics 123 -Wizards 101

The closest game there was decided by 10 points with the largest deficit being a 27 point blowout by the Wizards in Washington. This series is literally defining home court advantage. Home court/home field advantage is such an exaggerated thing in sports most of the time. Sure in baseball you get the right of last refusal in the bottom of the 9th, but most sports it typically doesn’t make a huge difference. But my god am I glad the Celtics will host a potential Game 7 in Boston. It seems destined to get there. I don’t know how teams can routinely trade blowouts, you just don’t ever see it. The Celtics ran the Wizards out of the goddamn gym last night though and I think I know why.

Can’t let down Mr. Kraft and the entire Patriots organization when they’re sitting front row.

Avery Bradley had 25 in the first half for christ sake. The guy was on a roll, hip pointers and all, legit throwing up HEAT CHECKS.

Even Brad Stevens was having a good time. He’ll deny it, but the crowd was chanting “Fuck You Oubre” booing the shit out of Oubre at the line and after he bricked one, what does Stevens do? Sends Olynyk into the game.

And most importantly the Celtics did all of this with Isaiah Thomas having a TERRIBLE game. Just kidding, the dude scored 18 points, but typically the C’s have relied on 30, 40 and 50 point games from THA LITTLE GUY to bail them out.

Now Game 6 is gonna be fun. A total mystery wrapped in an enigma. Celtics could grind one out or they could get blown out again. But come on boys, lets wrap it up and move onto the Eastern Conference Finals so we can get ready for this shit show.

PS – Lets all remember that the Celtics finished with the No. 1 seed and are on the brink of reaching the Eastern Conference Finals AND have the best odds at landing the No. 1 pick in the NBA Draft this summer.

I Love That Jonathan Kraft is Roasting DeflateGate Creator and Recently Fired Colts GM Ryan Grigson

By on • ( Leave a comment )

jkraft

ESPN – “The New England Patriots obviously haven’t forgotten who started Deflategate, as team president Jonathan Kraft expressed little sympathy for former Indianapolis Colts general manager Ryan Grigson, who was relieved of his duties on Saturday. On Kraft’s weekly pregame interview on 98.5 The Sports Hub on Sunday, Kraft initially deflected a question about the Colts’ firing of Grigson, before referring to the AFC Championship Game against Indianapolis that started Deflategate. Said Kraft: “That game might have been Ryan’s pinnacle, I don’t know.” The Patriots beat the Colts 45-7 in the conference title game on Jan. 18, 2015.”

Jonathan Kraft is throwing shade and I love it. Robert won’t do it, at least not outright. Brady won’t do it. You know Belichick won’t do it. So it’s up to Jonathan to throw out these subtle little digs.

Oh you wanna create a gigantic fugazi scandal about something the NFL had never cared about to actually check or measure in the history of the league? It’s entrapment really. Just like that Sean Connery movie, but not as good. Grigson – you want to cause us to lose draft picks, get fined and have the greatest player in Patriot history suspended for 4 games? Cause an absolute shitstorm in the media that lead to investigations, league sanctioned and biased reports on how Tom Brady maybe, possibly knew about something? TB12 getting dragged into court over air pressure in footballs?

Well guess what, when you get fired because you can’t draft for shit, Jonathan Kraft will roast you. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

grigson

PS – Has there even been a more appropriate quote to describe Tom Brady and the entire DeflateGate saga than the one from the end of The Dark Knight?

“Because he’s the hero Foxborough deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we’ll hunt him. Because he can take it. Because he’s not our hero. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight.”

Roger Goodell Going to the Falcons Game AGAIN Rather than Take His Medicine in Foxborough

By on • ( Leave a comment )

goodell

Look if Roger Goodell doesn’t wanna come into Foxborough I get it. Why go somewhere where you know the entire stadium is going to at best clown you and at worst treat you like Santa Clause in Philly. But come on man, its time to take the medicine. It’ll be theraputic for all the parties involved. Roger can make his appearance as the ambassador of the league should at one of the biggest games of the year. As Tyrion Lannister once told Joffrey: “You’re absence has already been noted.”

I seriously think Goodell needs someone like Paul Tagliabue to play the role of Tyrion in his life, give him a couple slaps and get his head on straight. You’re the goddamn commissioner of the NFL.

And Patriots fans can scream some F bombs from their seats and their couches. But come on dude, you’ll be in a luxury booth. Then you take the private elevator back to your transport and you’re done. And that will be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you.

takenquote

To instead go back to Atlanta for the SECOND WEEK IN A ROW is bananas. That shit sticks out real bad. All it does is show that the commissioner is spooked about coming to Gillette. Can’t have that. Go grab a few glasses of merlot with David Stern and Gary Bettman and just listen to the war stories these guys have. They’ve eaten shit at every draft and championship trophy presentation, for years. And they actually seem to enjoy it. Take the medicine, Roger. You need it just as bad as us.

Patriots Rumored to Be Playing Mexico City Game in 2017

By on • ( Leave a comment )

belichick_laughing

ESPN -“Just one week after the NFL returned to Mexico City for the first time in over a decade, there are already reports suggesting a new contest for the 2017 season. The New England Patriots would face the Oakland Raiders at the Estadio Azteca at some point during the next year, according to ESPN’s John Sutcliffe…Pats owner Robert Kraft is very interested in the possibility of playing in Mexico City.”

So now the hot rumor in the streets is that the NFL is thinking of having the Raiders play the Patriots in Mexico City next year. And as much as I love forfeiting home games, as Robert Kraft is rumored to have pitched, I can’t say I’m too excited for this. Traveling across the country, playing in a stadium with BARBED WIRE FENCES IN THE STANDS all while being 5,000 miles HIGHER than Mile High Field. Mexico City does not seem like a great place. I fully expect and fear a Man on Fire situation where Giselle gets kidnapped by the banditos and Kraft has to hire Denzel Washington or some shit.

Either way, I don’t care if its Mexico, London, Russia or the Moon. Do. Your. Job. And the Patriots will do just that and win….Unless its a late season game in Miami. That I fear.