Tag: The Hound

The 300s Breaks Down Game of Thrones S8E4: “The Last of the Starks”

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Obvious Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t caught up on Season 8 of Thrones yet come back later.

“The Last of the Starks” was an A+ episode for Game of Thrones as the show got back to doing what it does best. Despite the less than glowing reviews of Episode 3 (second lowest rated GOT ep on Rotten Tomatoes), I rewatched it yesterday and actually enjoyed it more the second time. Once you get over the fact that its dark and chaotic and not as many central characters die as expected its actually a pretty good episode. However it has become clear that Thrones (at least the TV show) never intended to have the battle with the White Walkers as the end all be all. In fact in the Ep 3 Inside the Episode, showrunner David Benioff actually describes the dead as “one of the main storylines” of Thrones. The key word there is “one.”

Is that reason enough for Thrones fans to be upset? Sure. Especially because if the White Walkers were never going to be the central storyline of the entire show (its literally the focus of the first scene of the first episode of the first season), then the showrunners were at best creating the longest slow play of all time with the Night King arc or at worst intentionally misleading viewers until they could quickly finish that story in order to move onto the last geopolitical conflict; the final game of thrones. Maybe I’m too big of a Thrones fan to be properly pissed off about that entire scenario, but I have repeatedly said I am going to wait until the season is finished so I can see the whole picture before deciding one way or the other. Thrones is getting alarmingly close to LOST territory though with a whole lot of questions that could remain completely unanswered. We’ll see.

So now that they’ve defeated the White Walkers, Thrones was able to turn its attention back to its biggest strength; the actual game of thrones. The character dialogues, the plotting, the lying, the simmering tensions. This was the best episode we’ve seen all season.

Lets talk about that emotional opening as the survivors mourn the dead from the Battle of Winterfell. It was always going to be a tearjerker when Dany said goodbye to Jorah and we see the dead bodies of characters like Lyanna Mormont, Lord Commander Edd, Theon and the rest, but when the camera pulls back and we see just how many pyres there are being lit, we get a much better understanding of just how many lives were lost. I think its one of the best shots in the show’s history because it conveys so much without a single word.

I thought this was an excellent episode, but I’ve tried to be fair in my assessment each week and this season has been bordering on a Wrap It Up Box situation. After years of slow playing situations and storylines we are now moving at a lightspeed pace, which has me questioning the decision to only shoot 6 episodes for the final season. Granted the showrunners were undoubtedly waiting for George RR Martin to finish the books (which led to extended stays for Dany in Essos and Bran on his way to the Three Eyed Raven) before ultimately deciding to push past the books and finish the show with just some guiding points from Martin.

But this season has been pegging characters into some roles quicker than I would think is realistic. I’m not one of these assholes that is stomping their feet because Dany can get to Kings Landing in a ship in 5 minutes. I’ve played video games since I was a kid; fast travel and respawn points are a good thing guys. However, Dany is turned from savior to nearly becoming the Mad Queen in a span of 4 episodes. Now don’t get me wrong, she has all the character development points necessary to get there with her army being decimated fighting the dead, her role as the rightful heir to the Iron Throne being questioned, and now her best friend Missandei being unnecessarily murdered BUT it all just seems a little quick for a show that has been thoughtful and methodical with its pacing for years.

Remind me not to tell Sansa a secret any time soon because she blew up Jon’s spot about his true lineage in a matter or minutes. For some reason Sansa just does not trust Khaleesi and maybe she sees something that everyone else is blind to because they either love Khaleesi, they admire her, or they fear her. Sansa has none of those emotions towards the Dragon Queen so maybe its more than just being spiteful; maybe she really doesn’t believe she’ll be a good ruler. We’ve all come to agree that Sansa has become one of the best political minds in GOT having been trained by one of the best in Littlefinger, living a hellish life with the likes of Joffrey and Ramsay, and yet has come out on the other side as one of the power players in Westeros. So maybe we need to start treating her disdain for Khaleesi as more than just unnecessary drama. Either way, she confides in her former husband Tyrion saying “What if there were someone better?” and officially rings the bell that cannot be unrung. What if Jon isn’t only the *rightful* heir to the Throne, but what if he’s the best one too? He probably would make a better ruler being a lot more measured, unemotional, and of course loved by the people of the North at least.

However Khaleesi put her ass on the line and decimated her army and her dragons to save the North and probably Westeros as a whole, so you can’t discount that just because she’s come off as increasingly bitter in each episode. Shit, I’d be bitter too. A classic Thrones power struggle continues to grow, made only more interesting with the fact that Jon wants no part of it. As the great Tywinn Lannister once said “Any man who must say ‘I am the king’ is no true king.” Maybe we’re seeing shades of that coming into play as Khaleesi tells anyone and everyone that she is their queen, whereas Jon never wanted to be King in the North, yet his role as king literally saved the realm.

Khaleesi actually begs Jon to bury that secret, which is something we’ve never seen her do. She’s been enslaved, beaten, nearly assassinated, raped and endured all kinds of terrible times, but she’s never begged anyone for anything. Is she unraveling or this just her political hail mary because she knows if Jon tells Sansa the truth she’ll never have an iron clad claim to the Iron Throne.

Also, Brandon Stark, Lord of Winterfell, the Three Eyed Raven, and last true born son of Eddard Stark has approximately 160 minutes left to not become the most useless character of all time. Up until now his most important contributions to the show include

  • Getting the Three Eyed Raven Killed
  • Getting Hodor, Jojen, and his direwolf Summer killed
  • Leading the Night King straight to Winterfell
  • Giving Arya the dagger that she needed to kill the Night King
  • Telling everyone about Jon’s true parents

Thats about it for the freshly minted Three Eyed Raven. I never really loved Bran’s storyline, but I figured the writers were building up to something bigger. Well that was a pretty big “nope” after the Battle of Winterfell. Sure I’ll give him partial credit for giving Arya the dagger, but thats considering I’m going out of my way to acknowledge that a dragon glass dagger probably wouldn’t have had the same affect. So here we are Bran. You have two episodes and 160 minutes to prove the dozens of hours devoted to watching you get dragged through the woods was worth it. Prove me wrong.

Bronn of the Blackwater is back! He basically makes a deal with the Lannister brothers that they need to pay the debts they so famously always pay or they’re both dead. It wasn’t exactly the bro reunion many had expected, but somewhere inside that cutthroat there is a heart of gold. It would have been shocking and unfitting for Bronn to just coldly murder his two best friends. Whether they have the pull to guarantee High Garden to Bronn as sufficient payment remains to be seem, but something tells me not all of these characters will be around to see that the debt has been paid.

Jon’s goodbye (or lack thereof) to Ghost was one of the sadder scenes of all time. This dog lost a goddamn ear fighting your war, Jon. Ghost was actually the first POP action figure I ever bought years ago so needless to say I feel like our canine friend deserved better. Now I fully admit I am one of those crazy dog dads, but come on Jon you’re not even going to give him a scratch behind his ear? That direwolf went beyond the wall with you and saved your ass on more than one occasion. Well, the internet was fully behind me and some are even completely off #TeamJon for the Iron Throne because of it.

At least he’ll be safe and in his element in the icy north, but boy was that sad. I guess if I’m going to wrap my own brain into a pretzel it was the right decision because we’ve seen how irresponsible Khaleesi is with her own animals.

Speaking of…holy hell we lost another dragon and I cannot emotionally handle it. Just one week after thinking another of Khaleesi’s dragons bit the big one because of her careless landing spot in a war zone, we were blindly led to its slaughter yet again. And I fucking called it. Probably because I am a Thrones psycho, but after seeing the dragon struggling to fly earlier in the ep and then seeing him back to full strength I knew something was off. Thrones never shows you something by mistake (except for that Starbucks cup). I literally said out loud “oh look the dragon is all better again” IMMEDIATELY followed by “oh no now he’s going to die–ARROW.” Euron Greyjoy ambushed Khaleesi and her fleet and gave us yet another heart wrenching dragon death. Jesus christ Khaleesi can you please keep these dragons a safe distance away from all possible dangers? Especially if the only thing that can kill them apparently are arrows and ice javelins, which have a pretty precise range of fire, and especially if you’re just cruising past the place you intend to destroy. Maybe be on the lookout for danger? Worst dragon owner of all time. She will probably get her last child killed next week too and I want no part of watching that.

I won’t spend too much time on the love circles, but Jaime gets with Brienne, which breaks Tormund’s heart in yet another scene stealing moment, but then Jaime leaves in the middle of the night to return to (kill?) Cersei. I don’t know if Jaime just can’t kick that toxic relationship or if he just feels responsible for her and thinks he needs to kill her himself. Either way I think Jaime will play a prominent role in the death of Cersei. Maybe he dies at the hand of Arya and has his face used to sneak up on Cersei or perhaps he is able to get past the Mountain (who nearly executed him last time he was in Kings Landing) and Euron (who thinks Cersei is carrying his child) to get to Cersei?

Now that the news of Jon’s lineage is spreading, people like Sansa and Tyrion and Varys are starting to wonder who might be the rightful (read: better) ruler of Westeros. Varys seems pretty keen on the idea of switching sides, openly discussing what Tyrion describes as treason. They raise a legitimate question about Khaleesi’s state of mind. She seems to be slipping further into mad king territory and is ready to destroy the very city she seeks to liberate. Is Varys ready to jump sides in the best interest of the realm or was he merely testing Tyrion’s resolve? I don’t know but I do know that Thrones is at its best when characters like Littlefinger (RIP), Tyrion, and Varys are plotting and scheming.

In another shocker, Missandei gets executed in one of the most unnecessary, ruthless and cold blooded moves in Thrones history. Cersei executed someone for the sole purpose of inciting Khaleesi’s fury. Its a move that Tywinn would have been proud of as we all know that emotional decisions are often the worst decisions. Khaleesi looks like she is about to do something reckless to avenge her beloved friend.

We do see that Jon and his army arrive for the next episode, but my god I did not realize just how undermanned the Unsullied army has become. While the show makes it a point to say Cersei and Khaleesi’s armies are now unsettlingly “even” in size it sure doesn’t look that way. Not to mention we have the whole Golden Company army waiting in the wings despite zero character development. I honestly don’t know how she’s going to take the city as her dragons have proven highly susceptible to the scorpion arrows, but Khaleesi is about to burn that bitch to the ground.

We’ve heard time and time again that the citizens of Kings Landing hate Cersei, that the common people don’t care which “high lords play their game of thrones, so long as they are left in peace,” so its possible that if someone can take out Cersei the rest will welcome Khaleesi with open arms. Probably not if she starts raining fire on the city though.

My god am I jacked up for next week’s episode.

The 300s Breaks Down Game of Thrones S8E3 AKA The Battle of Winterfell

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Obvious Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t caught up on Season 8 of Thrones yet come back later.

In what was one of the most anticipated episodes in TV history, Game of Thrones finally unveiled the “Longest Consecutive Battle Sequence Ever Committed to Film” with S8E3 “The Long Night” AKA The Battle of Winterfell. Similar to Season 6’s “Battle of the Bastards,” this was a military operation through and through. (This episode was directed by Miguel Sapochnik, who also directed “Hardhome” and “Battle of the Bastards”)We got less of individual heroics and more of armies legitimately going to war with hordes of people and wights (temporarily at least) getting slaughtered. It was violent, it was dark, and it was hectic. I’ve heard some complaints about this episode and to be completely honest I need to rewatch it to fully digest everything that happened in the episode’s 82 minutes. Needless to say the internet is divided; the NY Times says the episode “exceeded expectations” while USA Today complained about the cinematography calling it “too dark.”

It was the longest episode in Thrones history and it was packed with action so my feelings below are subject to change after I’ve had a little more time to sit with it. With that being said, lets break down the biggest storylines from S8E3:

For the Night is Dark and Full of Terrors. Mainly Dark Though.

I’m not going to spend too much time on this because I understand it was done intentionally for affect, but one of the first things I said at the start of the episode was this is difficult to see. And that was while I was watching from an almost completely dark room. So I get the thinking, but thank christ for the dragons and Melisandre adding some light to this episode or I wouldn’t be sure what actually happened.

House Mormont Goes Up in Dust

Lyanna Mormont goes out like a G and takes down a wight giant while weighing all of 95 pounds. She really did prove that “every man from Bear Island fights with the strength of ten mainlanders.” RIP Lyanna.

I do have a bone to pick with the way we handled my man Jorah Mormont’s last moments though. We all knew Jorah was not long for this world. He is the archetype of the aging knight who will die to protect his queen. The musical montage of Jorah fighting off wights left me wanting more though. Maybe its because I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Jorah. Maybe its because I am dead inside after having just watched Avengers Endgame right before this episode, but it seemed to be lacking. Maybe a line or two of heartfelt dialogue would have tied things up a bit more for me. RIP to Jorah Mormont one of the realest to ever take the screen and a character we’ll all remember forever.

The Dragon Battle in the Clouds?

This was tough to follow, but for people complaining about it; thats the point. It was supposed to be disorienting, hard to see, and anxiety inducing. If the Night King is just flying around in plain sight then 2 dragons>1 dragon every day of the week, so it shouldn’t be a surprise he was trying to level the playing field with outside factors. With that being said it was definitely tough to follow and at the end of the scene I wasn’t entirely sure what had just transpired, but dragon on dragon action is always sweet. For having a dragon for about a week, the Night King knew how to fly that thing 100x better than the Dragon Queen though and thats a fact.

Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon (or the Night King)

As I predicted in my recap of Episode 2 last week, we saw that the fire of a dragon cannot kill a White Walker. In fact it can’t do shit to them, at least not to the Night King who took a flamethrowing Dracarys blast to the face and came out grinning. It was really quite jarring and one of the most underrated scenes of the episode, one that I think people are forgetting. Thats exactly why I am telling people to back and watch this episode a second time before deciding whether you loved or hated it.

Khaleesi used dragon fire. Its not very effective.

Valyrian Steel though?

 

The Night King Gets Got

As my fellow blogger Giorgio put it; “8 seasons for the Night King to make it to the Westeros equivalent of Nashua.” Dude didn’t even sniff the Iron Throne.

Credit to @BuckeyeMike23

Apologies to everyone who bought the Night King Iron Throne pop figures already.

Arya has now solidified her role as the MVP of Game of Thrones. She had a slow season as the show meandered a bit with her story arc in Bravos, but it paid off big time. She has become THE most lethal character in Thrones history. She legitimately snuck up on a gaggle of White Walkers and almost knifed the Night King before he could even turn around. In what looked like yet another suicide mission, turned into one of the most stunning moments in recent Thrones history when she dropped her dagger and stabbed the Night King in effortless fashion. Arya has been working on this move for years and in fact is a direct call back to her sparring session with Brienne of Tarth in Season 7.

Incredible scene. We’ll get to what this all means for the overarching story in a moment, but holy hell Arya has skyrocketed up the Thrones Power Rankings.

Jon Snow Nearly Meets His End Again

I have to give props to the Night King for not falling to pride like we’ve seen Jon Snow and the realms of men do time and time again. Pride is a sin of men so it made sense for him to make the cold, calculated decision to rise the dead yet again rather than try and take on the greatest warrior in the Seven Kingdoms in a sword fight dick measuring contest.

He’s seen first hand what Jon Snow can do with a (Valyrian) sword in his hand so why take the risk? It’s reminiscent of when Jaime Lannister challenged Robb Stark after he was taken prisoner following the Battle of the Whispering Wood. He challenges Robb to decide the war one on one. To his credit Robb says, “If we do your way Kingslayer, you’d win. We’re not doing it your way.” 

Jon also nearly gets lit up by the Ice Dragon and essentially decides to give himself up and go out in a blaze of blue firey glory.

For a second I thought we might see Jon Targaryen showing his immunity to fire like a true Targaryen, but the Mrs. pointed out something critical. Way back in Season 1 when Jon saves Lord Commander Mormont from the wight, he grabs the lantern and burns his hand before throwing it at the undead creature.

A direct contrast to when Khaleesi, a full blooded Targaryen, grabs the dragon eggs off the hot coals and is uninjured.

WTF Was Bran Doing?

I understand that he is a cripple in a wheelchair so theres not much he can really do in terms of fighting, but he was particularly useless in this episode. Bran spends 45 minutes basically just worging around Winterfell to get a bird’s eye view of the action, while offering nothing in terms of actual help to anyone. I feel like there is something more still lingering in terms of what Bran is there to offer the story, but I can’t put my finger on it. At least we can dispense with the moronic “Bran is the Night King” theories finally. Right?

Melisandre and Beric Dondarrion Fulfill Their Purpose for the Lord of Light

In what was one of the most intriguing storylines in show history, the red priestess fully redeemed herself with a comeback for the ages saving the day with some incredible fire spells. You have to believe that Melisandre went back to Essos specifically to train at the temple of the Lord of Light. Now that she has fulfilled her purpose and died “in this strange country” we’ll probably never get a clear answer. Melissandra coming out of left field to light up the Dothraki’s swords and then the spiked trenches was an all time Thrones moment though. Thats before we even mention the pep talk for the ages that she gave Arya though.

I won’t insult anyone’s intelligence by pointing out the source of Melisandre’s quote about death though. If you have to ask you don’t deserve to know. It really is crazy to look back on Melisandre’s storyline though; she’s been with Stannis, and of course when she first meant Arya back in Season 2 with the Brotherhood Without Banners.

Incredible.

Then we have Beric fulfilling his destiny and saving Arya’s life which obviously allows her to take out the Night King. It was some sick poetic justice though as Beric has been asked multiple times why the Lord of Light keeps bringing him back and he always answers, I don’t know. So for him to sacrifice himself to save Arya while on his 7th life was a valiant and fulfilling way for Beric to go.

Sam Gets Another Brother of the Nights Watch Killed in Edd

Jesus christ, Sam. Tarly better have another redeeming moment because he ignored everyone’s advice to stay off the battle field and when he couldn’t fight and need to be saved, which we all knew he would, Edd gets a knife in the face for saving Samwell yet again.

Khaleesi Gets Another Dragon Killed

Correction: The dragon is not dead, he can actually be seen in the preview for S8E4, which I missed in my post Avengers/post Thrones delirium. Carry on.

Khaleesi has to be the worst caretaker of Dragons to ever walk the Seven Kingdoms. And thats saying something considering her ancestors used to chain dragons up until they wasted away. What did she think was going to happen landing the dragon in a field of mindless, savage zombies? Well exactly what we all expected did happen and Khaleesi is down another dragon leaving her with only one. I think I get more emotional when a dragon or direwolf dies than any other human character does, but then again I am a total schill for animals.

RIP Theon

Theon goes out with honor and pays the iron price once and for all. Protecting Bran in the godswood was a suicide mission and everyone knew it. Kudos to Bran for having his first human moment in 2+ seasons and telling Theon the only thing he’s wanted to hear since he confided in Maester Luwin while wracked with guilt after taking Winterfell; “You’re a good person.” He killed dozens of wights to protect Bran while he worged around to essentially watch the action with a bird’s eye view and offer little in the way of actual help. After a lot of really cowardly moments over the past few seasons, Theon went out like a warrior trying to take down the Night King himself.

On the Lookout for the Fake Out

Maybe I’ve just become too used to the George RR Martin misdirection shock and awe storylines, but I refuse to believe this is the end of the story. I know the showrunners David Benioff and DB Weiss have veered off from Martin’s original source material a bit as they have passed the books, but he obviously has still given them the roadmap of how to get to his intended ending. So I just refuse to believe we’ve built up the Night King for 8 years only to have them go out just before the end of the story only to leave us with a battle for the crown. Maybe that was his goal the entire time? To truly have it all come back to a literal Game of Thrones? I don’t know, but I said it last week and I’ll say it again, if they kill the Night King and the remaining episodes are just a battle for the Iron Throne I will be a bit disappointed. Theres plenty of story left to wrap up still, but it seems like a missed opportunity not to mention a world of confusion to just let the White Walker storyline fade into dust like a Thanos snap. So I am on full alert on the lookout for the fake out. Whether it’s something as it relates to Bran, maybe the Children of the Forest make a comeback or maybe it’s not the last we’ve seen of the White Walkers. We’ll see next week, but its getting real now…theres only three Game of Thrones episodes left. Ever.

Valar Morghulis.

 

The 300s Game of Thrones Season 7 Ep 6 Recap: “Beyond the Wall”

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In what has become an annual showcase for Game of Thrones, HBO proved once again the penultimate episode of each season is the one you don’t want to miss with last night’s “Beyond the Wall.” Every year the second to last episode of each season is an absolute gem. Here’s a quick refresher on how GOT never waits around until the finale to drop some bombs. Each season’s penultimate episode:

  • Season 1: “Baelor” (Ned Stark loses his head and Khal Drogo falls ill)
  • Season 2: “Blackwater” (Still arguably the best episode in the series as Stannis attacks Kings Landing on Blackwater Bay only to be defeted by Tyrion and co.
  • Season 3: “Rains of Castermere” (The goddamn Red Wedding, which IMDB synopsis describes as ‘Robb and Catelyn arrive at the Twins for the wedding’ in a horribly misleading fashion.)
  • Season 4: “The Watchers on the Wall” (Jon Snow and the Night’s Watch defend the Wall against Mance Rayder and the wildlings.)
  • Season 5: “The Dance of Dragons” (Stannis roasts his daughter, Jon Snow brings the wildlings through the Wall, Khaleesi rides Drogon to safety out of the Mereen fighting pits.)
  • Season 6: “Battle of the Bastards” (Not much to say here other than this could also be arguably the greatest GOT episode ever.)

The show picks up right where we left off last week with Magnificent Seven venturing beyond the wall.

Jon Snow and Jorah have a heart to heart for the first time and its a refreshing moment of growth. Remember Jorah should rightfully hate Jon Snow. Jon’s father Ned labeled Jorah a traitor and essentially forced him to leave his family and his homeland forever. Jon also effectively became Jeor Mormont’s surrogate son whom he passed Longclaw down to after the shame Jorah brought to House Mormont. To top it all off, no Jon’s moving in on his girl Khaleesi. But Jorah doesn’t hate Jon. He respects him for everything he’s accomplished, including earning his father’s respect and earning Longclaw, regardless of what his name is.

In an instance of foreshadowing we see the first animal wight in the form of a zombie polar bear. “Do bears have blue eyes?” one of the Magnificent Seven asks before it all goes down. Thoros of Myr ends up getting ragdolled by a goddamn zombie bear and a few nameless wildlings got axed too. We also learn that The Hound is going to have a hard time serving the Lord of Light and fighting wights since the one thing that kills them most effectively (ya know, fire) paralyzes him with fear.

The group heads further north until The Hound sees the same thing he saw in his vision in the fire, a mountain shaped like an arrowhead. Not long after they stumble upon a lone White Walker and a group of wights like a dead ranging party. Time to initiate the ill advised plan to try and capture a wight and bring it back south.

Of course they all nearly die because this moronic plan shockingly does not go well. They do take out the group of wights with Jon destroying the White Walker with the Valyrian steel sword he nearly gave away minutes before (WTF Jon). Except their POW wight lets out a scream that acts as a bat signal for every other dead soldier in the north and now our heroes are screwed.

The gang gets marooned on an ice island as the White Walkers and their army surrounded them. The only reason they aren’t immediately killed is because the thin ice breaks and the dead aren’t exactly fond of swimming. So now we play the waiting game. Just waiting for death to come, figuratively and literally.

Jon opts to use one of his 3 lifelines and sends Gendry to phone a friend.

Tyrion tries to advise Khaleesi on a number of things in this episode such as what’s the plan of succession if she were to die? Khaleesi is not a fan of the conversation and says they’ll discuss it when she wears the crown, which could be a bit of grim foreshadowing we all look back on. But specifically he once again advises Khaleesi again risking her own life to rescue Jon Snow, Jorah and the others. In a direct response to the recent failures she’s experienced following Tyrion’s advice while simultaneously directly heeding the late Olenna’s advice (“Be a dragon”) Khaleesi says enough is enough and rides north on the back of Drogon.

Enter Khaleesi (if you can accept White Walkers but you can’t accept faster than normal travel I don’t want to be your friend) and her 3 gigantic dragons who just start flame throwing the entire place. It seems like the dragons really are the end all be all of weapons in the 7 Kingdoms, but similar to the Loot Train scene from a couple of weeks ago we once again see just how powerful yet vulnerable the dragons are at the same time.

The Night King takes his ice spear and just rifles it into the sky as Viserion gets tagged and falls from the sky while bleeding uncontrollably. I think this was the saddest I’ve been watching a TV show since Jack had a nervous breakdown about leaving the island on LOST.

The look Jon Snow gives the Night King had me thinking this is it for our boy, he’s going to go out in a blaze of glory trying to take out the head White Walker. As he tells Khaleesi to go he battles a few more wights before falling through the ice, which is the second time in three episodes the show runners have teased a major character drowning.

Shockingly, Jon does not in fact drown, but there is still an army of dead 50 feet away. This would be a pretty anti-climactic way to die so suddenly half-dead Uncle Benjen rides in out of nowhere on his horse to save Jon Snow’s ass and then sacrifices himself. Why couldn’t Benjen get on the horse and ride away with Jon too? As Michael Bay once said to Ben Affleck after Ben asked wouldn’t it be easier to just teach astronauts how to drill rather than the reverse? Shutup, Ben.

After surviving and making it back to the wall the team loads Jon up on the ship back to Dragonstone and we have a real moment between Khaleesi and Jon. Her dragons are not just pets to her, one of Khaleesi’s children just died, which is what makes it all the worse that they died helping Jon. So we see Khaleesi have the first real crack in her armor in years as she nearly breaks down sobbing mourning her dragon.

In a show of faith in her as a true leader and probably also a vague marriage proposal Jon tells her “You are my queen.” Jon bends the knee, well figuratively, since he’s on his deathbed once again.

Its the first time we have the North truly following a Targaryen since the Mad King. Jon doesn’t care what his people will say, he knows Khaleesi is the Queen they need. Now whether, Jon will be her King or not remains to be seen. But for now, they are allies at the very least.

Also, in addition to the Jon’s knife wounds on his chest courtesy of the Night’s Watch, he suddenly has blue marks on his chest. Is this just the frostbite and remnants of nearly drowning in ice cold water or is it something more? If you look at Benjen (RIP) closely, his face has the same blueish hue after he apparently fought off death and a transition to a wight. We don’t really ever learn a ton around Benjen’s story and what really happened (and we probably never will now) but has Jon been touched by something? Or is this just me looking too deeply into a show that has prided itself on deep, deep world building? I digress.

In the Den of Geek breakdown they also pointed out something interesting about this scene as well as everyone’s transportation home.

“It’s a moment so romantic that Dany even finds the scars that prove he was stabbed in the heart endearing. Jon appears to truly be hers, and hey he still tellingly didn’t ride Drogon with the rest of his comrades… he has his father’s namesake, Rhaegal, to look forward to mounting.”

So that is an interesting bit I thought. We still have yet to see Jon Snow on a dragon, even though all his crew has now been on one. And Khaleesi has only ever ridden on the back of Drogon. So is Rhaegal keeping his back for the one true king, Jon Snow?

The whole Sansa/Arya sister rivalry just took a dark twist as Sansa stumbles upon Arya’s bag of faces and realizes her little sister might be an even bigger psychopath than she thought. Arya all but threatens Sansa’s life and now we have the strangest power struggle I can remember on this show. It seems a little convenient writing as I would like to think after years of surviving older, more experienced foes and politicking all through the 7 Kingdowns (and Essos) that these two would be able to understand whats going on here. Imagine taking the transcript of an AIM chat you had when you were 14 and using that as hardcore, stone cold evidence of your character as a person years later?

Either way, Sansa is spooked about Arya either killing her or actually convincing the other northern lords that the words a 14 year old girl wrote, under durress, prove she is a traitor. Sansa fears losing her head as well as her role as ruler of the North.

So naturally she sends her sworn protector Brienne of Tarth to Kings Landing, which reeks of Littlefingers, well, finger prints. Was there actually a raven summoning her to Kings Landing or does Sansa just want to get Brienne out of Winterfell in case she needs to off Arya? Brienne is after all sworn to protect both of Catlyn Tully’s daughters, so if Sansa needs to axe Arya she doesn’t want anyone there to stop her. My question is though, as Sansa, the one without a single day of combat training, wouldn’t you be more worried about Arya killing you? Wouldn’t you want a bodyguard with you now more than ever? This story line just gets odder and odder.

At the end of the episode we see the army of the dead pulling Viserion up from his icy grave to be resurrected. Enter the ice dragon. The Night King’s wight dragon. Something else that Den of Geek speculated on is that maybe the reason the Night King and the White Walkers were simply waiting for the ice to freeze so they can attack Jon and his gang wasn’t just exposition allowing Khaleesi enough time to get there. Maybe the Night King knew Khaleesi was coming with her dragons and he was legitimately waiting for her. Waiting for her to come into his arena so he can down one and claim a dragon of his own. A much more satisfying and chilling explanation to that entire scene. Because we all know the White Walkers and the wights can’t break through the Wall. But what if the Night King had his own damn dragon to simply fly over the towering ice monstrosity of a wall? Or maybe they make good on the Season 7 opening credits and simply walk around the wall over the frozen ice. Either way the big baddie now has a dragon of his own which is downright frightening.

Next week we have the most tense meeting of the UN ever created. What traps and tricks can we expect in the 90 minute season finale? Did we really risk so much, getting Viserion (and Thoros!) killed just for one wight?

That whole sequence better actually have been worth it, but I’m not too optimistic. I don’t expect Cersei to suddenly care about some existential threat (real or not) because she is so single-mindedly focused on keeping the Iron Throne she will do whatever it takes to stay there. Even if it means her own demise. We’re running out of time though for everyone to be fighting two battles at the same time, so someone is gonna have to either shit or get off the pot. Next week could be the last we see of Cersei.

One more episode guys and then the Long Night truly does begin because god knows how long it’ll be until the 8th and final season of Game of Thrones.

PS – Seriously, RIP Viserion.

The 300s Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 2 Recap: House by House

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So Game of Thrones aired its second episode of Season 7 Sunday night titled “Stormborn” which is an obvious nod to Khaleesi AKA Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen,First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea,Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons. So yea, Stormborn was an easier title for an episode. Anyways lots to break down so LETS GET IT.

 

House Greyjoy

Lets not beat around the bush, how about that absolute hellacious Pirate Invasion by Euron on the open seas? This guy really is a psycho huh? Starting to see hints of what the actor who plays him said in interviews before the season about how Euron would make Ramsay Bolton look like a little kid. Yikes.

The Greyjoy fleet of Theon and Yara is basically toast. Its like any fleet that leaves Dragonstone is destined to be burned to the fucking ground a la Stannis at Blackwater Bay. We got Theon falling back into bad habits too. It seems like the crazy violent and torturous way of Euron (i.e. ripping out dudes tongues) and his Iron born gave Theon a hard reset back to his Reek days, which sucks. Silver lining though he is alive soo maybe he redeems himself again? Running out of episodes here Theon, lets pick it up.

Half of the Targaryen alliance just burned up on the open seas as the Dornish leader Ellaria and her daughters the sand snakes were all either killed or taken captive. This really screws up Khaleesi’s plan of taking Kings Landing using the Dornish army so she’ll probably be looking for more Houses to partner up with. Lucky for her the King of the North is on his way down to Dragonstone.

House Stark

Jon knows he needs Khaleesi, her army, and her dragons if the North has any chance against the White Walkers, but the last thing the northerners want to do is put their faith in the daughter of the goddamn Mad King. Jon’s point is that they need the mountain of Dragonglass that is under Dragonstone, not to mention the three large dragons that Khaleesi has, if they are to stand any chance against the Night King. But Sansa makes a pretty damn good point saying “Do you not remember what happened to our grandfather?” Long story short – the Mad King once called Jon Snow’s grandfather, Rickard Stark, to come down to King’s Landing and “bend the knee” except when he got there the Mad King burned the guy alive. The Mad King also later killed Jon’s uncle Brandon Stark too. So you’ll forgive Sansa for not being overly excited to send the freshly minted King of the North down south to meet another Targaryen to once again bend the knee.

I think Jon has learned a lot in a very short period of time, taking counsel from those around him and internalizing a lot of what people are saying to him, whether the others realize it or not. One thing Sansa said to Jon recently was that he needs to not be stupid like their father and Rob or he’ll be killed just like them. Pride, honor and really stubbornness to their ways are what ultimately got Rob and Ned killed. So while going to Dragonstone is definitely a risk, holding up shop in the North because of stubbornness is a sure fire way to die.

Something I am stoked to see though is if Khaleesi truly needs Jon Snow to bend the knee. While it doesn’t seem like he has any real aspirations to sit on the Iron Throne, if you remember his days with the wildlings, Jon grew to respect and idolize, really, Mance Rayder the King beyond the wall.

Mance awakened Jon to a lot of things beyond the blinders the Night’s Watch had put on him, among them the fact that some traditions of the 7 kingdoms are arbitrary and ridiculous.

As we all saw, Jon loved a wildling woman, saved the wildlings from Hardhome, literally got MURDERED by his peers for letting the wildlings through the Wall. Is it that crazy to assume a central ideology of one of his mentors sticks with him? We do not kneel. Or is this the Stark stubbornness I just mentioned that derails Jon Snow?

With Jon heading south, Sansa is now in charge of the North and that sound you just heard was Littlefinger’s erection smashing into the table. And Jon Snow knows it and does NOT like it, despite Littlefinger saving his ass with the Knights of the Vale. Jon Snow is WOKE on Baelish.

MOTHERFUCKING NYMERIA IS BACK

I’ve been waiting for this moment for 5.5 seasons and I am a fucking nerd for typing that sentence I know. This is a pivotal moment for Arya as we’re starting to witness her blind determination starting to waiver. When she first landed in Westeros she axed the entire Frey clan and was single-mindedly riding towards Kings Landing to kill the queen. Now she sees her direwolf for the first time in years, the same one she had to chase off in season 1 to save her after Nymeria bit that sonofabitch Joffrey. It really is quite impressive they recognize each other after all this time. Doesn’t seem like Nymeria is ready to be anyone’s pet as she’s currently running the goddamn jungle as a wolfpack leader, but I doubt we’ve seen the last of her. I keep telling people this, but Thrones does not waste a second of dialogue and very rarely leaves loose ends (looking at you Gendry).

Oh and Hotpie’s alive too.

BTW, Anyone else notice Arya’s mannerisms now? When talking to Hotpie she is eating, speaking and acting JUST like the Hound. Real short. No niceties. — “Got any ale?”

House Targaryen

Moving on, props to Varys for the most badass speech in his character’s history to convince Khaleesi he’s here to help. I don’t think she necessarily trusts him, but she understands his motives. All she asks is if you think I’m doing a shit job, tell me, don’t sail to Essos and plot a coup.

Olenna Tyrell is still a badass old lady who gives no fucks, asking the Mother of Dragons “Your grand plan was to march down here and use our armies?” The lady is fearless, have to give her that. And I think Khaleesi realizes she can learn a lot in the ways of Westerosi politics from Olenna. “You’re a dragon. Be a dragon.”

House Lannister

Cersei is calling in her bannermen and spin zoning the SHIT out of Khaleesi’s history (murdering the noblemen AKA the slave masters and feeding them to her dragons). She needs everyone to get her back to help fight off Khaleesi and the only way to do that is to play to people’s fears of the Mad King and the Targaryens in general. Without that, people will just flop to whoever they think will win. But Tyrion makes a GREAT point back on Dragonstone, saying they only way to RULE the 7 kingdoms vs just simply conquering them is with help from the Westerosi people themselves. By working with the Houses that already live there they can truly overthrow the regime, not just smash everything to ashes.

Also, laughed out loud at Jamie trying to get House Tarly to be his No. 1 general and Tarly basically tells Jamie to fuck himself. Welp, back to the drawing board Kingslayer.

WRAP IT UP BOX

I’ve noticed a LOT of loooong scenes this season like the Sam bedpan scene in last week’s episode and this week’s scene of Sam removing Jorah’s gray scale, slowly and painfully, not to mention the overly long Grey Worm sex scene. I don’t know if its due to new directors on Season 7, but the pacing feels out of place. Maybe they’re trying to lull us into a false sense of security because with the long, quiet, drawn out Grey Worm scene I was fully expecting someone to get knifed.

Did anyone notice in the GoT opening credits that at the end of the Wall the water is actually frozen?

No need to climb the Wall when you can walk right around it. Not to mention, if Benjen was right, maybe the White Walkers can’t pass through the wall since it was forged with ice and magic, so going around it seems to be a pretty good solution. Who knows though. When Bran was messing around and got touched by the Night King it allowed him to come into the One Eyed Raven’s cave (and murder him) which he could not do before. This also got Hodor, a bunch of the children of the forest and not to mention Bran’s direwolf killed. So good job Bran.

Also in case anyone already forgot Season 7 only has SEVEN episodes and we’ve already burned through two. So theres only just over a month of Thrones left in our lives before another cold, dark winter. Goddamnit, enjoy the ride.

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1 Recap House by House

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Season 7 premiered this week with “Dragonstone” and after 6 seasons filled with dozens of story lines and hundreds of characters we’re starting to see the wrap it up box in full effect.

Time to start tying up some loose ends. That may have been the shortest GOT opening credits ever as we’ve finally got all the characters on one continent with only a few key players really left. Now lets sort through them, House by House.

House Stark

Arya with one of the most satisfying moments in the show’s history just straight up erasing House Fray in one shot. You knew something was up when the show skipped the traditional into to get started without delay. GOT only does that when a bombshell is about to be dropped.

And boy did they deliver. We’ve seen Arya going down a dark path for a while now as she’s crossing names off her list one by one, but this was her coming out moment. This was where we all sat back and said oh shit Arya is in play, this isn’t a neat little trick any more, she can seemingly take out anyone at anytime. So now she’s on to kill the queen in Kings Landing. At this point does anyone doubt she actually can? The real question is whats her plan? Its not enough to just kill the people on her list, Arya has a flair for the dramatics as we’re now seeing. Does she ultimately take the face of Joffrey/Tommen/Myrcella/King Robert to really drive the dagger home? Or maybe she borrows the face of good old Ned Stark to fully enact her revenge. The North remembers indeed.

Jon Snow kicked off Season 7 by nearly getting cucked by his sister in front of all the North bannermen. Sansa openly questions his decision to not root out the Houses in the North that didn’t support the Starks against the Boltons. You can see the simmering tension in the power struggle as Jon has been proclaimed King in the North, but Sansa is still technically the heir to Winterfell as a trueborn child of Ned and Catelyn. Sansa tells her brother she just wants a seat at the table and that he’s actually quite good at leading, but if they continue to butt heads does this create a bigger problem for House Stark?

 

House Clegane/Brotherhood Without Banners

The Hound is the first character shown enduring the face that Winter has come, alongside the Brotherhood without Banners. If you remember the father and daughter that the Hound and Arya met last season, ate with and then robbed, it was a green field in a pretty moderate climate.

So Winter is not fucking around and it is creeping south pretty dramatically. The Hound also seems to have bought into the Lord of Light after looking into the flames with Thoros of Myr and seeing the dead marching. After all thats been made of his fear of fire, it will be interesting to see how this plays out, worshipping a fire god and all.

Speaking of Cleganes, the Mountain got himself some fancy new black armor huh? It looks like Cersei has done away with the gold cloaks and donned the Kingsguard (technically Queensguard now) in all black. All black everything just like Cersei’s outfit, is it because she’s in mourning for her children or is she just a black hole of a walking disaster thats about to suck everyone down with her?

House Mormont

Lyana Mormont is still a goddamn G. The fierce little girl from Bear Island legitimately undressing the grown men with decades of experience on her and reducing them to humbled nods.

Jorah Mormont has a meaaaan case of greyscale that has gotten significantly worse. Last season it was like a little bit of eczema on his wrist and now his whole entire arm looks like one of the stone men. Seems like he’s banking on the old maesters, who seemingly don’t do much, to save his ass. Probably ill advised. Can’t be a coincidence that Sam discovered the mountain of dragonglass hiding under Dragonstone though. Maybe thats the ticket to his cure, along with being a White Walker killer.

House Targaryen

Khaleesi FINALLY lands in Westeros after 6 seasons of build up and she gets a pretty baller ass castle with ZERO resistance on Dragonstone thanks to Stannis. The mother of dragons is now firmly within striking distance of Kings Landing so I’m curious how long GOT will play this out. Stannis got from Dragonstone to Blackwater Bay in like 2 episodes, please don’t make this a chore guys. Its also the first time we get a real good look at Dragonstone, its throne room and the overall Targaryen design (chalk full of dragons!) to it aside from the Westeros table map we’ve seen Stannis hover over for years.

Brienne of Tarth

Brienne is still drilling and training Podrick how to fight, who is actually starting to look like a pretty legit swordsman. Tormund is still trying to get it in with Brienne too, telling Podrick he’s “a lucky man” when he sees them fighting. These two will be fascinating to watch this year. Can’t let Jon Snow have the only wildling romance in this whole series right?

House Baelish/House Arryn

Whats Littlefinger’s plan? As Sansa points out, “I know exactly what he wants.” Did Sansa promise her own hand in marriage to Baelish in exchange for the Knights of the Veil? Without his help, Jon Snow would have been toast at the Battle of the Bastards with the Boltons. We all know Littlefinger’s ultimate goal is to climb the ladder of chaos and sit atop the Iron Throne. If he could lock down Sansa, he’d have the Veil and all of the North behind him, but Jon Snow really threw a wrench into that plan in last year’s season finale with the whole King in the North shit.

House Lannister

Jaime seems incredibly weary of Cersei, and rightfully so, because she’s gone off the deep end. “‘Enemies to the east, enemies to the west, enemies to the south, enemies to the north.” Now these two must plan for WTF to do next because legitimately the entire world is coming down on them and soon. Jaime attempting to explain to Cersei the amount of danger their in:

Doesn’t seem like theres going to be a happy reunion between these two and Tyrion either who’s back in town with his new friends.

House Greyjoy

We see Theon and Yara with Khaleesi as they have devoted their ships to the Mother of Dragons, but I think it would be shortsighted not to mention Euron Greyjoy for rocking the first leather biker jacket in Westeros history. Seriously the guy looks like he fell into Bam Margera’s closet. Euron is trying to play everyone and Cersei is not having it. You don’t get verbally abused by Tywinn Lannister for 40 years without picking up some cunning. He mentions he’s looking to marry the most beautiful woman in the world; a queen. BUT, he doesn’t say which one. Keep your eye on this one, he’s officially your Season 7 wild card.

Side notes:

Get Ed Sheeran the fuck off my tv screen. One of the most out of place celebrity cameos ever. It was unecessary, but worst of all it did something Thrones has never done; it made me realize I was watching a TV show. It took everyone out of the show for a few minutes as they asked, why the fuck is Ed Sheeran a Lannister soldier. God that was bad.

Did we really need a 5 minute montage of Sam cleaning up bed pans and dry heaving? Sam and Gilly continue to be the worst story line in the entire show. At least Bran’s storyline got the wrap it up box treatment. Bran legit wasn’t even in Season 5 and then last year he’s traveling through time, talking to Ned Stark at the Tower of Joy 20 years in the past, going face to face with a White Walker and ya know getting Hodor killed. RIP. What has Sam done? Got into a fight with his dad, stole his Valyrian sword (definitely something to remember) went to Oldtown with Gilly and the baby and now is stocking a library and working as a janitor. Riveting. He better come back to Jon with the goddamn secret sauce on how to defeat the Night King.

If thats not enough Game of Thrones talk for you, then stay tuned because we’ve got a brand new segment coming your way real soon…