Month: October 2017

Patriots Pick Em Week 5

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I’m writing this after the Red Sox just finished getting bent over by the Astros so I’m a little bit jaded right now. So tonight on the American tradition that is Thursday Night Football Color Rush, the Patriots are a (-5.5) point favorite over the Buccaneers….and I don’t feel great about that line. (As always, all of our betting lines are courtesy of the Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook so blame them if the numbers change.) The Pats defense has obviously looked like shit. Well, no actually they’ve looked like a defense on pace to be the worst defense in NFL HISTORY. Alan Branch got left at home and now Gronk is out. That is not a great equation especially on a short week. Even with Brady having one of the best starts of his entire career, the guy can’t play defense. So while I’m not saying the Pats are necessarily gonna lose, I don’t see them winning by a touchdown or more. I think if anything they squeak by with a FG or less so I’m picking the Bucs to cover.

PS – I saw Rich Keefe tweet earlier today the payoff of an anti-Boston parlay today and I’m kinda wishing I took that right about now.

Cam Newton Says Some Not So Nice Things About Women in Sports

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I was half heartedly watching this video waiting for the innocuous comment that everyone was getting all riled up about. Fire up the outrage machine and call the PC Principal. Overreaction metaphors galore. But in literally the first 5 seconds of speaking Cam Newton drops an absolutely cringeworthy line.

“Its funny to hear a female talk about routes….its funny.”

This is like something out of an SNL skit because it just comes off as so bizarrely out of place. Am I personally offended by this? Of course not. But do I think that this will be discussed ad nauseam every single day on SportsCenter for the next month? 100% And thats the weird part. I don’t know if Cam Newton is a raging sexist who goes around telling female reporters to get back in the kitchen, but jesus christ dude you’re doing a press conference in front of cameras and microphones. You HAVE to know that comment is not gonna play well. Comedy Rule No. 1, Cam: Read the room. Know your audience.

The Internet Remains Undefeated with this Donald Trump Larry Bird Mashup

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Regardless of where you stand politically, if you can’t laugh at this video then you’re dead inside. Was Trump making a little too light of a serious situation by swishing paper towel rolls into the crowd in Puerto Rico?

Yea probably, but without his joshing around we wouldn’t have had this glorious mashup with Larry Legend. The winner AND STILL undefeated, undisputed champion, the internet.

So Long Malcolm Subban, We Hardly Knew Ye

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ESPN – Goaltender Malcolm Subban was claimed off waivers by the Vegas Golden Knights, Boston Bruins general manager Don Sweeney said Tuesday. The Bruins waited until Monday to waive the 23-year-old, with most teams already set in goal, hoping to sneak him to their Providence affiliate, but the former first-round pick was claimed by Golden Knights general manager George McPhee.

We hardly knew ye, indeed. Well, except for the 2 games you started and got absolutely annihilated by real NHL players, giving up 6 goals on 22 shots (a scorching .727 save %).

While you never want to give up on a young player you invested a lot in (24th overall pick), its been five years and it probably just wasn’t gonna happen for him in Boston. Still it sucks to have the Bruins squander another asset, getting nothing for Subban. Sweeney basically said Subban’s trade value was so nonexistent that he couldn’t get anything for the goalie. The Bruins tried to sneak him through waivers, but the Golden Knights claimed him so his trade value couldn’t have been that barren.

While Subban certainly ate a bag of dicks in his limited opportunities between the pipes for the Bruins, he is still only 23 and goalies tend to age like fine wine. You routinely see older guys figure it out or get hot or find the right situation and go on a tear for a season or more. Tim Thomas anyone?

He was 32 when he landed the Bruins starting job full-time and he was the oldest player in league history to  win the Conn Smythe at 37 years old.

So Subban could still figure it out, but its also a reminder that goalies routinely come out of nowhere. So maybe just don’t blow top draft capital on them.

 

Tommy Heinsohn Checked Out Aaron Baynes in the Shower and Loved What He Saw

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The regular season hasn’t even started yet and Tommy is already making national headlines for saying outlandish shit. This time though it wasn’t about comparing Tyler Zeller to Bill Russell. It was about checking out Aaron Baynes in the shower and loving what he saw.

“I took a look at Baynes in the shower…..and he looks like ALL of Australia. He is really put together.”

Baynes laughed it off saying he appreciated the compliments from a Celtics legend. Umm yea, ya think? How dare he tell people about my gigantic hog?

Here’s the full clip:

Tommy’s a little bit nuts, we all know that. Tommy is like the drunk uncle at Thanksgiving dinner. We turn our heads when he makes an off color joke or screams into the microphone about a referee blowing a game. You just kind of laugh it off and embrace it because he’s a lunatic, but he’s our lunatic.

If Your Name’s Not Colin Kaepernick Then the Media is Not Happy With You Working Out for the Titans

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So Marcus Mariota went down last week and the Titans need to sign another QB as an emergency option. Someone that the team hopes will, ya know, not play. It came out that the Titans worked out four guys – Brandon Weeden, Matt Barkley, Matt McGloin, and TJ “The Yates of Hell” Yates.

Notice that list does not include lightning rod and fellow unemployed quarterback Colin Kaepernick. Well the media is NOT having it. Just roasting guys left and right

First we got old man Brandon Weeden getting smoked by Rotoworld.

Brandon Weeden is 33. Guy was probably grabbing his morning paper when he got hit with this. Ruthless. To be fair though, he was the oldest player EVER drafted in the first round at 28 years old.

If you’re a QB looking for work and your name is not Colin Kaepernick, then the media has no use for you.

Then you got ESPN’s Louis Riddick just flying off the top rope on an unsuspecting Matt Barkley.

Guy’s just for going on a job interview and Louis murdered him in cold blood. Names not Colin? Meet the people’s elbow.

The Patriots Do Color Rush Right

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A+ Patriots uniforms ready to go Thursday night. The Color Rush™ promotion is totally unnecessary, but if you’re going to do it this is the right way to do it.

This is what the Packers did last week and what the Giants did last year. This is the standard Patriots white jersey with the standard gray pants now in white. It doesn’t look like any other changes have been made to the gray pants. The socks look like the standard road socks, which are regularly worn with the navy blue pants.

The Patriots haven’t rocked the white-on-white look since 2009, when they wore it as an AFL throwback. But the white-on-white look was a standard look for them until they mixed in red pants off-and-on 1979 through 1992. Of course, the uniforms went blue in 1993 when Flying Elvis made his debut and the uniforms went navy blue in 2000.

The Minnesota Twins Don’t Get No Respect

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twins respect

CBSSPORTS.COM – Now that the postseason field has been finalized, we can look ahead and figure out which potential World Series matchups are most intriguing. There are 25 of them.

  • 25. Colorado Rockies vs. Minnesota Twins
  • 24. Arizona Diamondbacks vs. Minnesota Twins
  • 23. Minnesota Twins vs. Washington Nationals
  • 21. Los Angeles Dodgers vs. Minnesota Twins
  • 20. Chicago Cubs vs. Minnesota Twins

Yahoo! Sports – We’re down to 10. Ten teams have a chance to reach the 2017 World Series. Slowly, over the next month, that number will dwindle down until it’s just two teams. And then one. But right now, 10 teams are still alive and that gives us 25 possible World Series matchups.

  • 25. Twins vs. Diamondbacks
  • 24. Twins vs. Nationals
  • 23. Twins vs. Dodgers
  • 22. Twins vs. Cubs
  • 19. Twins vs. Rockies

The MLB Playoffs start tonight with the American League Wild Card game in New York, and it’s pretty clear that no one wants to see the Twins make a run.

The Twins squeaked into the playoffs as the second Wild Card team a year after losing 103 games and after selling at this year’s trade deadline. They have lost 12 straight playoff games, but their last postseason win did come at Yankee Stadium in 2004.

The Yankees won 91 games this year and enter the playoffs as a more traditional Wild Card team. They went 4-2 against the Twins this year, and swept the Twins in a three-game series at Yankee Stadium just two weeks ago. The Yankees have also defeated the Twins nine straight times in the playoffs.

Image result for dangerfield collar gif

So why all the apathy, if not hate, toward the Twins? It is hard to say they look like a typical playoff team. Ervin Santana had a very good season and Big Sexy was a fun addition, but it’s hard to name much of their staff after that. They also traded their All-Star closer at the trade deadline. Their most recognizable player, Joe Mauer, had his best season since 2013 but is still a shadow of the first-ballot Hall of Famer he looked like at the end of the 2000s.

But the Twins franchise has been here before. The franchise won its first World Series in Minnesota in 1987 after getting outscored in the regular season. They won the AL West that year at 85-77 (the same record as the 2017 squad)  while three teams with better records from the AL East went golfing in October. They won the division on the strength of a 56-25 home record at the much-maligned Metrodome.

So while people can criticize the 2017 Twins and say a team like this shouldn’t make the playoffs, they are not the first team to squeak into the playoffs after a run-of-the-mill regular season. Mediocre teams made they playoffs long before the Wild Card was invented.

With all the Yankees Haters out there, I have to imagine at least some folks will be pulling for the Twins tonight. Who doesn’t like to root for an underdog? And don’t tell me a Dodgers-Twins World Series isn’t even in the top 20. A Dodgers-Twins World Series would feature an historical rematch, a David vs. Goliath feel, an iconic stadium, and one of the best modern stadiums in the game. I’m not saying it will happen, or that it would go past five games if it did happen, but don’t tell me the Twins aren’t worth rooting for.